When I was in third grade, I had a crush on this girlânot that I completely understood what a crush was. I just knew I loved the way her hair smelled. I became sort of a stalker, always wanting to smell her hair, and it got so bad she freaked out and left. Yep! She left for another school (at least that's what I think). I know this is pointless, but I think I have writer's block too ;)
For some weird and unidentifiable reason, Bella couldn't wait to see Beau again. He was taking over her mind and drowning out every other thoughtâmainly thoughts about her best friend.
After quickly getting in the car, excited to get to school, she texted Viola, asking if she was coming. Normally, Viola replied to her texts within seconds, but when a minute passed and there was nothing, Bella sighed, then looked at Cody, who was standing outside.
"I don't think she's coming, Cody," she said.
"Why don't you just call her?"
She released another sigh, then tried calling Viola. When it went to voicemail, she let out another breath and looked back at her brother. "Not picking up."
"What is wrong with her?"
"I have no idea," she lied, and he got into the driver's side.
"Why's she acting this way all of a sudden?"
"If I tell you I know, I'd be lying."
"I can't take this anymore," he muttered, turning the key in the ignition.
It was obvious Cody was cheesed off, and Bella couldn't blame him; he deserved to be annoyed. He and Viola were like twins from different parents, so it was a real wonder that she was ignoring him all of a sudden.
Immediately they got to school, Cody stormed out of the car, leaving his backpack behind, and Bella ran out after him when she noticed he was beyond pissed.
She grabbed his arm, then stepped in front of him. "Look, just calm downâdon't get mad at herâ"
"Why not?"
"She probably has an explanation."
"Well, I have to hear that explanation before deciding on my temper."
He walked around her, then headed for the front doors of the school. His strides were long, and Bella had to run to keep up with him. When she was finally beside himâthough still walking the fastest she had everâshe tried talking him out of confronting her best friend.
"Cody, think about this," she suggested, but his jaw remained firm.
"I don't want to think."
They walked into school like they were going for battle, and got a few weird looks from students walking past them.
Bella had a really bad feeling about what was about to happen. It was like she suddenly had foresight.
"Just let me talk to her, then."
"No."
Why did he have to be so stubborn?
Having no choice, she followed, and they spotted Viola in front of her locker.
For some reason, Bella's pace slowed, and she stopped walking. Cody didn't seem to notice, and if he did, he ignored it well.
He walked up to Viola and stopped behind her. Viola felt his presence behind her, but didn't acknowledge it.
"What's going on with you?" he asked, but she didn't respond, pissing him off even more. "Viola, I'm talking to you."
"And I'm not," she finally said, shuffling things in her locker.
"Why've you been ignoring me?"
"I feel like it."
"You seriously expect me to believe that? Not only me, but you've also been ignoring your best friendâ"
Viola turned to face him, and he noticed the surprising glow on her face. "If you're here to talk about your sister, then I don't wanna hear it. Okay? For one day, I don't want to hear anything about her."
Bella's heart stopped for a second when she heard this.
"You know, she's trying. She's trying her best to let you know she's there for you. You're the one acting like..." He stopped himself, not wanting to say something he'd regret.
"Oh, so she doesn't have a problem. It's me." She looked away, a pained smile going up her face. "It's always me."
"Now you're misunderstanding me. I didn't mean it that way."
"You know what, maybe I should point out something you probably don't knowâyou're always trying to defend Bella. No matter what she does, you always try to explain to me that it's not her fault. You know she only cares about herself and Stephanie. I don't matter to her."
"That's not true."
"See? You're doing it again."
Cody sighed, then ran a hand through his hair. "Viola, you're not being reasonable here. You've been friends with Bella for the longest of timesâ"
"Wrong," Viola interrupted. "It's Stephanie who's been her friend the longest."
"Can't you just leave Stephanie out of this?"
She shook her head, defiant. "I'm leaving." She shut her locker door.
Immediately Viola walked past him, Cody held her arm to stop her, but she forcefully pulled it out of his grip, then spun to face him, shoving him back into the lockers with surprising strength. As if a button was pushed, students looked in their direction, and Kyra surprisingly arrived next to Cody.
She touched his arm. "Cody?"
"I'm fine."
"No, you're not." She turned to Viola, her small face contorted into something between anger and annoyance. "How dare you put your hands on him?"
Cody took one of her hands and pulled her to him. "Babe, it's okay."
"It's not! Who does she think she is?" She pointed a finger in Viola's face. "Who do you think you are?"
"Kyra, stop it!" Kyra offered a little resistance as Cody tugged her backwards, but eventually gave up on trying to get an answer from Viola. "You don't have to get involved," he said when she turned to him. "I'll handle it and meet you before homeroom."
"But Codyâ"
"I'll meet you before homeroom, Ky." He gave her the I'll-explain-later look, and she looked at Viola one last time, then angrily pulled her hand from his and walked away.
Viola watched the exchange quietly, and Cody looked in the direction Kyra left. When he turned back to Viola, he saw her eyes glassy and tried to make things right.
"Violaâ"
"Look, let's just forget about this," she said, her voice weak, and she suddenly felt like the walls were closing in on her, threatening to crush her to bits. "And please leave me alone."
"Come on, Viâ"
"No." She held up a hand. "Please... justâjust leave me alone."
She walked past him, stopping when she saw Bella watching a few feet away.
It was over, and she had to let the both of them know that. So, taking a deep breath, she walked towards her (ex) best friend, not pausing when she opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she bumped her shoulder into hersâhard.
Bella locked her shocked eyes with Cody's after Viola left, and he shook his head. Onlookers returned to their businesses, and a familiar face approached her.
Amparo had a lopsided grin on her face, her eyes screaming victory as she walked to her archenemy. She didn't stop, however, like Bella expected. She whispered, "Savage," in a way that really hurtâpulling at the strings of Bella's heartâthen walked away.
If the exchange between Cody and Viola wasn't enough to bring tears to her eyes, then the way Amparo rubbed it in like zit cream was.
She wasn't sure why she wanted to cryâmaybe because Viola said she didn't want to hear anything about her, or the fact that she knew things were overâbut she found herself walking quickly and didn't stop until she got to the bleachers.
She sat at the top, taking her backpack off and placing it by her feet, then just stared at the football field, the previous few minutes coming back to her.
Viola had told her she was overshadowed by Stephanie, and maybe she was, because that was how Stephanie wasâshe captured attention wherever she went, whether it was because of her interesting family background, or her aura, or even something as simple as her hair or nailsâbut they could've sorted things out.
Bella didn't know when it happened, but she placed her head in her lap and tears started pouring out of her eyes.
Her chest hurt, tightening every few seconds, and she just sat there, crying into her lap.
"I didn't know pretty girls cry."
At the sound of Beau's voice, her head snapped up, and she furiously wiped the tears off her face. She turned away, not wanting him to see her face, which was probably already red.
"Actually I do," he said, walking to her. "I've seen a lot. I just wanted you to stop."
She didn't respond, embarrassed for some reason, and he sat in the spot beside her.
For a few seconds, neither of them said anything; they just watched the field like it was the most interesting thing in the world.
Then, finally, he said, "You two fought again."
Indirectly, she wanted to say, but she looked down at her palms instead.
They were quiet for another few seconds, before he turned to study her profile. Her hair covered most of it and he found himself pushing it back and tucking it behind her ear to get a better view.
His fingers brushed the top of her ear, and, despite the fact that it sent a warmth through herâa warmth telling her there was someone ready to listen, someone there for herâshe ignored it and focused more on not letting him see her face.
"It's okay," he said.
"How do you know that?" she found herself asking.
He gave a small smile. "I once had a friend too, you know."
"You sound like a girl," she joked, regretting it immediately it was out of her mouth.
He was silent for a while, and she was almost positive she had struck a chord, but he finally spoke, his voice soft and distant. "I know, right?"
She was tempted to look at him, but fought the temptation with mental knives and daggers.
"She was one of my sister's favorite people," Beau continued.
A she? That was new.
"One of mine, too," he added like an afterthought.
"How'd you deal with it?" she quietly asked.
"I didn't do anything. There really wasn't much to do. After she left, I just let time do the healing."
"It was that easy for you 'cause you're a boy."
She felt happy when she heard him chuckle.
"You think so?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"I don't know. Maybe because boys are supposed to be stronger than girls."
"Well then, can I let you in on a little secret?"
She finally turned to him, her eyes meeting his immediately. "What is it?"
"Most boys are more courageous than most girls, but when it comes to the emotional stuff, you girls win."
"But boys always complain that we're too emotional."
"That's because sometimes we can't understand half the stuff you're going through. We only try to understand. And, you know, I heard crying makes a person live longer, so maybe it's a kind of instinct for you girlsâyou cry a lot."
His playful tone was back, and it was almost impossible to believe he was just making a whole lot of sense.
Bella let out a small laugh and shook her head. "So you think we cry because we want to live longer?"
"Maybe."
"Why'd you follow me out here, Beau?"
"You can't prove I followed you."
She narrowed her eyes at him, and he lifted his hands in surrender. "Okay. You got me. I just wanted to be sure you're okay."
"I am. I will be."
He gently patted the back of her head. "Do you want to talk about it?"
She shook her head, and he gave her a small smile that meant so much. He stroked the hair on the back of her head, and she momentarily forgot how red her face probably was.
After watching him for a while and feeling his fingers move in her hair, she moved closer and leaned her head on his shoulder. Beau didn't stop stroking her hair, and she didn't stop moving closer until she was close enough and comfortable.
They stayed in that position for a long time, not noticing when first period came and went, or when someone took a photo of them from a corner.