Chapter 183 Sabrinaâs POV:
+53 My head swam with all that I had just heard. The kingâs words rang in my head. His apologies, the softness he spoke with, the things I had never imagined that he would admit to me. It felt surreal, like I was in a hazy dream of sunlight and glitter.
After we were done talking, I headed down to the room I had stayed in, back in Caldanâs wing. Being back here did bring back a lot of memories but I was too in shock by the kingâs confession to actually dwell on any of them.
I wasnât going to lie and say that my girly little heart didnât feel flattered by all he said, by the way he felt about me. And I was glad, relieved even that we shared the same feelings for each other..what I felt for him, he felt for me too.
There was no shame, no judgment, just plain truth.
But at the same time, his actions to me did hurt me a lot. And that wasnât going to be fixed with a simple âIâm sorry.â
I paused, startled.
What was I saying? I had already forgiven him. The moment he laid his heart bare at my feet. I forgave him.
âOh well,â I said to myself with a lazy shrug. I may have forgiven him, but things were still stagnant between us.
I wasnât going to jump into his bed. No. Not that easily.
For him to have that access to me again, he would have to work for it. My forgiveness may have come too hasty and too easy, but everything else wonât be like that.
Itâs fine. That makes up for the quick forgiveness.
I looked around the room and i sighed. I remember the conversation we had before I came down here.
âPack up your things,â He had said after he stepped back from the hug he forced me into. âYouâre coming back to my wingâ
I folded my arms and challenged his eyes. âI am not coming back as a prisoner or as your slave, just so weâre both cleared on that.â
âOf course, youâre not.â He said quickly. âIâm sorry, I didnât mean for my words to have that meaning. Youâll be staying in my wing thatâs all.â
I had narrowed my eyes, still shocked and reeling.
I couldnât believe how vulnerable he had gotten with me.
It felt like Iâd suddenly gasp and wake up and I was still in Devonâs pack.
For the longest time I had seen the king as an emotionless and heartless monster. I wasnât used to this raw display of emotion and feelings. I appreciated it, a lot and my belly warmed at his words.
A knock sounded on the door, making me jump from the suddenness of it. I frowned, feeling wary. The times a knock had sounded on that door, it was Caldan behind it. Trying to get in and into my panties.
âYes?â I called out. But Caldan was gone. At least for the meantime he was.
The door opened and Rose walked in. I exhaled a soft breath of relief.
âGood morning miss, I came to find you. You werenât here, and I thought you were in sir Caldanâs room.â She said with a cheerful smile. She wiggled her brows and smiled suggestively. âHow did the dinner date go?â
1/8 Chapter 183 My stomach turned and i resisted the urge to gag. âPlease, do not bring it up every again. I do not wish to talk about?
She looked confused then she nodded. âDo you need anything? A bath, some breakfast? Anything at all?â
978 I stared at her, and I felt the awkward shift in the air between us. Honestly, I donât know what to do with her, Caldan gave her to me as my maid, and now heâs gone I donât see the need for. A maid, Should I just dismiss her without explanation? Or should I take her with me to the Kingâs wing?
She and I havenât had much time to establish a relationship, so I donât think I can bring her with me.
âYou can go, Iâll take care of what I need.â I said as kindly as I could, âWhen I need you, Iâll send for you?
She frowned, disturbed. âIs everything alright, miss?â
âYes. Itâs fine. Donât worry about it.â
She hesitated, then she nodded and bowed. âHave a good day. Iâll be there if you need me âThank you, Rose.â
She turned and left, leaving me to try and pack something.
I felt helpless as I stood in the middle of the room, wondering what to pack. At the end of it all, I wasnât able to take anything at all.
Everything here reminded me of Caldan. The clothes I wore, each gown had a memory of him etched to it. And the last thing I wanted was to remember him. My plan was to fully erase every trace of him in my life.
Last night flashed through my mind again. All the depraved things he said to me, the ways he was going to violate and kill me. It played in repeat on my head.
I hurried out of the room, eager to leave his memory behind. And when I shut the door, I visualized that I locked him inside it too.
To never bother me again.
Outside the door was a tall, slender maid with dark hair. She bowed. âGood day miss. The king sent me to assist you with carrying your things.â
âOh, thereâs no need. You can go back, I donât have any things with me.â
She looked at my empty hands and back at my face. Then she smiled and walked away.
I had some time on my hands, so I decided to take a small walk around. I wandered the halls, tasting the freedom of being able to do so as a free woman and not a slave. It tastes so much better.
Also, I needed to think about myself.
My life, and where I need to go from here.
I can tell that Iâm safe, but the future is completely uncertain. What if Caldan comes back for me?
The thought alone send shivers down my spine.
Last night my power had worked. I was able to touch it, and used it to blast Caldan off me. For a few seconds, I tasted that delicious thrill of being strong. Of having her upper hand and then it was gone. And he knew, he mocked me too.
What was it? This power of mine, what exactly is it.
And my mind drifted to the king. If we settle things between us, what will I be to him? A mistress? Will I be a mistress 09:39 Thu, 20 Mar Chapter 183 forever?
Can I even accept that kind of sordid life?