Chapter 19: Bound By Duty: Chapter 18

I peered at the clock again. It was past midnight but I couldn’t sleep. I longed for Dante’s closeness, for his touch. It had been more than a week since the dinner with the Scuderis, and two weeks since Frank had run off and Dante had fucked me. God, and I missed him.

I slipped out of bed and left the room, not bothering to put on a bathrobe. It was dark in the corridor. I felt my way toward the staircase, then slowly descended it. At the end of the hall, light spilled out from under Dante’s office door. I knocked, then entered without waiting for a reply. Tonight I would take what I wanted. The silent treatment was over.

Dante sat in his leather chair behind the desk. His hair was disheveled as if he’d run his hand through it repeatedly. He’d thrown his jacket and vest over the sofa, unbuttoned the top two buttons of his white shirt and rolled up the sleeves, revealing his strong arms. He hadn’t bothered to remove his gun holster. He was staring at something on his laptop but glanced up when I stepped in.

He looked tired. “Is something wrong?” His voice was gravelly from disuse, almost growly, and made me even more determined to distract him from his work and lure him upstairs. His blue eyes took in my skimpy silk nightgown as I walked toward him. “I was just wondering when you’d come to bed,” I said casually as I walked around his desk and stopped beside him.

He leaned back in his chair, eyes flitting between my naked legs and my face. A couple of months ago I wouldn’t have recognized the look in his eyes, but now I knew it was desire. Maybe he shut himself off emotionally, but my body definitely got his attention. I must have caught him at a good time: too tired to keep up his disinterested act.

“Las Vegas contacted me. They want a meeting.”

I nodded, but I had something very different in mind than a conversation about mob business. I reached out for his laptop and shut it.

Dante raised his eyebrows. “Valentina, I really need to…”He trailed off when I leaned over him and slowly knelt down, running my hands over his thighs. I began massaging them as I looked up at Dante with big eyes. “Can’t the work wait?”

Dante’s eyes darkened with lust. A bulge was slowly forming in his black pants as he regarded me, and I had to stifle a smile. “What do you have in mind?” he asked matter-of-factly, trying to appear unaffected. The hard-on straining against his pants betrayed him of course.

I cupped his erection through the fabric. “I don’t know.”

Dante smiled darkly. “I doubt that.” He reached for his zipper and dragged it down, then he pulled out his hard cock. He stroked it a few times, running his thumb over the tip already leaking pre-cum before he traced my mouth with his thumb. I licked my lips, tasting him on me, and Dante let out a low breath. “Stop teasing me, Valentina.”

I leaned forward and licked his shaft slowly from the base to the tip before I dipped my tongue into the tiny opening. Dante gripped the back of my head and gently held me in place as I trailed my tongue around his tip over and over again, barely touching him.

His fingers in my hair twitched and he nudged me slightly forward. “Suck my cock, Val.” It was the first time he’d called me by my nickname. I cupped his tip with my lips and began sucking, making sure to run my tongue around the rim now and then. Dante watched me through hooded eyes as he massaged my scalp.

I took him deeper and then started bobbing my head up and down how he liked it. Dante’s eyes never left me. He started bucking his hips and tightened his grip on my head as I sucked him harder. “I’m coming,” he said in warning. I felt him tense as his climax overwhelmed him. His cock jerked and he erupted in my mouth. I tried to swallow while keeping up my sucking. Dante groaned, still rocking his hips and his hooded eyes fixed on me. These were the moment he allowed me the occasional glimpse behind his guarded mask.

I could feel him softening in my mouth and I released him from my lips. A defiant part in me wanted to ask him if that meant he’d forgiven me for the mess with Frank, but the reasonable side of me won.

Dante dropped his hand from my head and went limp, squeezing his eyes shut. I quickly wiped my mouth as long as he wasn’t watching and checked my décolleté for stains. My own arousal was a throbbing between my legs. Dante shifted, drawing my attention back to him. He stared at me with an unreadable expression and I was starting to feel self-conscious. I stood but Dante did the same, towering over me in his posh white dress shirt, gun holster and half-open dress pants. I searched his eyes but as usual I couldn’t read him.

He cupped my neck and crashed his mouth against mine. I gasped in surprise and his tongue slid in. He used his body to back me up until my legs bumped into the edge of his desk. He gripped my hips and hoisted me on top of the cool surface, stepped between my legs, still possessing me with his mouth and tongue, making my legs go numb and my heart slam against my ribcage. God, Dante could kiss. I wished he’d do it more often.

He grasped my shoulders, stopped kissing me and eased me down until I lay flat on his desk. I stared up at him, forcing myself to lay still and let him admire me, when all I wanted to do was rip the buttons off his shirt and have him inside me. Dante seemed to know what I wanted. The dark smile was back and the cool sophistication had been replaced by something feral and hot. I bit my lip and spread my legs even wider, making my nightgown ride up.

I knew Dante could see what was below it: nothing. I wasn’t wearing panties.

He released a harsh breath, but he still wasn’t touching me and it was driving me to the brink of despair. I tried to grab his shirt but he stepped out of my reach. “No,” he said with authority. The voice he only ever used when he was giving orders to his soldiers. It was the sexiest sound in the world, but I was burning up with need. “Touch me.”

“I’m still angry with you. Sex won’t change that. You disobeyed my direct order.”

He couldn’t be serious. If this was another form of punishment, I’d lose it.

“Let’s see if you learned your lesson. You will obey me now, won’t you?”

I almost moaned at the timbre of his voice and look in his eyes. “Yes,” I said quickly.

He took another step back, his eyes meeting mine. “Spread your legs wider.”

I didn’t hesitate. The air in his office felt cool against my heated flesh but it did nothing to alleviate the burning need. Dante unfastened his gun holster without hurry, never taking his eyes off me. “Touch yourself.”

My eyes widened, but again I complied. When he used that voice, I had a hard time resisting. I slid my hand down my body and between my legs. Part of me was embarrassed. That definitely wasn’t something a respectable wife did according to my mother. But the bigger part enjoyed the way Dante’s eyes darkened as he watched my fingers slip between my folds and the way his lips parted. He let the gun holster drop to the floor with a clunk. He was growing hard again as he watched my fingers draw small circles over my clit.

“Put a finger into your pussy.”

I shook with arousal as I followed his order. I dipped my index finger into my hot core. A muscle in Dante’s cheek flexed and his cock was straining against its prison again. I could see how much he wanted to touch me, to fuck me, but Dante was nothing if not in control of himself and others. He stepped between my legs, gripped my wrists, and I slid my finger out of my tight channel, hoping he’d do it for me now.

“No,” he growled. “Keep fucking yourself with your finger.”

How could he sound so dangerous and sexy at the same time? How could that cold man say such naughty things with utmost authority? I pushed my finger back into myself, even though my clit practically screamed for attention. Dante stared down at me, his jaw tense. He pushed the top of my nightgown down, revealing my breasts. My nipples hardened from the cold and Dante’s piercing gaze. He took my nipples between his forefingers and thumb, and started rolling them back and forth. I arched my back, but didn’t stop fingering myself.

I reached for Dante’s shirt, but he pinched my nipples in warning. “No,” he rasped. I bucked my hips at the sensations rocking through my body, the sensual pain I started to enjoy more than I ever thought I could. Dante’s fingers twisted and rolled my nipples relentlessly. My core quivered with the need to come. “Dante, please.”

He fixed me with a stare, then he released one of my breasts and gripped my arm, stopping me from touching myself further. He pulled my hand away and put it beside me on the desk. He pushed my nightgown up so my pussy was bare to his eyes. “Don’t come,” he warned.

“What?” I gasped, but the sound turned into a moan when he slid his two middle fingers into me. My muscles clenched around him, gripping his fingers in an iron grip. He started fucking me slowly, his warning gaze on me. “Don’t, Valentina.”

I dug my nails into my palms, trying to fight off the climax. Dante pushed his fingers deep into me and kept them in place while his thumb brushed my clit. I gritted my teeth, my body starting to spasm.

“Do not come,” Dante said huskily.

“Dante…” I shook my head back and forth, sure I was going to burst any moment. Dante curled his fingers in me and pressed down hard on my clit. “Now,” he ordered harshly, and my release crashed down on me with blinding force. My butt arched off the desk as I cried out my release. My hands slid over the smooth surface of the desk, searching for something to hold onto.

“That’s right,” Dante said, his eyes on me. I stilled, feeling drained and sated. Dante slowly pulled his fingers out of me, sending another spike of pleasure through me. He unbuckled his belt, the only thing keeping his open pants in place, and let them drop to the floor. His cock was hard and red and glistening. “Turn around.” I slid off the desk, and stood on unsteady legs for a moment before facing the other way and bending forward. I braced myself on my elbows and jutted my butt out. Risking a peek over my shoulder, I found Dante taking in the sight of me. He kneaded my butt cheeks before gripping his cock and guiding it to my entrance. In one swift movement, he buried himself deep in me. I exhaled and curled my fingers around the edge of the desk, trying to steady myself as Dante started pounding into me. I gasped as he drove himself deeper and deeper into me, making my nipples rub against the cold, smooth desk.

“Am I forgiven?” I gasped out.

Dante growled. He leaned over me, his fingers finding my nub. “I shouldn’t forgive you,” he said between grunts, accentuating every word with a hard thrust. “But for some reason, I can’t stay mad at you.”

A grin tugged at my lips but dropped off my face when Dante hit my g-spot and made me shatter under the force of my climax. Dante tensed behind me as his own release overcame him. My legs were seconds away from collapsing and my chest was probably sore from rubbing over the desk. Dante wrapped his arm around my chest, pulling our bodies flush together and still pumping into me as he left a trail of kisses up my shoulder. He shuddered again and licked my ear. We stayed like that for a couple of moments before Dante stepped back. I pushed myself to my feet. “Will you come upstairs with me?” I asked as I gathered my clothes.

Dante hesitated but then he nodded. I walked ahead to hide my elated expression from him. This felt like a major victory.

After we’d showered, we slipped into bed. I snuggled up to Dante’s back and slung my arm over his stomach. When I’d almost fallen asleep, his hand covered mine.

***

We fell into the same routine we’d established before the Frank-fiasco. Dante fucked me at night, engaged me in talk about the casino during meals and otherwise ignored me mostly. Every morning I woke alone, no matter how long Dante had kept me up the night before.

This was also the case the morning I was woken from cramps. When I sat up, a violent wave of morning sickness hit me. I stormed into the bathroom and threw up what little I had in my stomach, gasping for breath and feeling dizzy. Gradually a suspicion wormed its way into my mind. My period was overdue at least a week. But then, my menstrual cycles had always been rather volatile so I hadn’t paid it much heed.

Was I pregnant? Slowly I straightened and walked toward the washbasin to rinse my face and mouth. It would be the logical explanation. Dante and I had been sleeping with each other for months without protection. When I was certain that my dizziness had passed, I took a shower before I dressed in casual chinos and a pullover, pulled my hair into a ponytail and made my way downstairs. I had to find out if I was pregnant.

I called for Taft and told him I needed to go to a pharmacy. Enzo still had his arm in a cast, so he couldn’t work as my driver at the moment. Taft didn’t ask why, for which I was glad. I didn’t want anyone to suspect anything yet. I needed to know for sure before I told anyone. Taft waited in the car as I headed into the pharmacy and bought two pregnancy tests. Once back in the car, my purchase safely hidden in my bag, I turned to Taft. “Please drive me to Bibiana.” Since I’d started working in the casino, I’d had less time for her, but this was something I wanted to share with her.

I texted her so she’d know I was coming and didn’t surprise her and her husband at a bad time again. Luckily, Tommaso wasn’t home when I arrived at Bibiana’s. There were no visible bruises on her body, and I hoped it was because Tommaso was treating her better and not because he made sure to hide them better since Bibi had spent the night at my house. “Are you okay?” I asked as a way of greeting.

Bibi nodded. “Tommaso has been in a good mood recently.” She led me into the living room. “I’m so glad to see you again. Don’t you have to work?”

“I don’t think I’ll go today. I’ll give Leo a call later to let him know.”

“Has something happened?”

I pulled the pregnancy tests out of my bag.

Bibi’s eyes grew wide. “You’re pregnant?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I bought these. I wanted you to be there when I found out.”

“Wow. Does Dante suspect?”

I shook my head. “I want to know for sure before I tell him.”

“I understand. He’d only be disappointed if you told him and then it wasn’t true.” She took one of the pregnancy tests. “So do you want to do it now?”

I nodded, nerves fluttering in my stomach. Bibi led me to their guest bathroom. I walked in alone. I’d never mastered the talent to pee with other people in a room with me. Once I was done, I set both tests down on the edge of the washbasin and opened the door. Bibi wrapped her arm around my waist, as we both stared at the tests.

“I think it’s time,” she said after a few minutes.

“Okay.” I reached for the tests and with a deep breath, stared down at them. Both were positive. “I’m pregnant.”

Bibi hugged me tightly. “That’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you. Dante will be so proud when he finds out. He’s waited long enough for children and you’re finally giving them to him. Will you tell him today?”

I considered that. “I think I should get confirmation from my gynecologist. As you said, I should be absolutely sure before I tell him.” And the other reason was that I needed some time to get used to the idea myself. I’d always wanted kids, and Dante and I had never taken countermeasures, but now that I knew I would be having a baby in less than one year, I was hit by nerves.

“I couldn’t keep it a secret. Especially since Tommaso is so desperate for me to get pregnant.”

“Maybe we’ll be pregnant together. That would be great.”

She smiled. “Go on, call your doc.”

“I will,” I said with a laugh. She looked more elated than I did.

As usual I got an appointment for the next day. My gynecologist was associated with the Outfit, so I never had to wait long.

***

That evening when Dante and I sat down for dinner together, the truth was on the tip of my tongue. I was still feeling nauseous and didn’t eat more than a few bites of Zita’s delicious lasagna. My glass of wine stayed untouched and I could manage only few gulps of water. Dante peered at me over his wine. “Are you alright? You’ve barely touched your food.”

“I don’t feel well. Maybe I caught the stomach flu.”

Dante’s brows crinkled. “Should I tell Zita to make you tea and chicken soup?”

I couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks, but I think I’ll just go to bed early.” I stood and had to grip the edge of the table as a wave of dizziness gripped me. Dante was beside me immediately. “Should I call the doc?”

I shook my head, then regretted the movement. “No. I’ll feel better once I lie down.” Dante didn’t budge from my side as he led me upstairs, his hand resting on my hip.

I changed into my pajamas as Dante watched me. Then I slipped under the covers. “Do you want me to join you?” he asked.

I hesitated. “I don’t think I’m well enough for sex.”

Dante perched on the bed. “Valentina, that’s not what I meant. I’m not that kind of bastard.”

“I just thought…” I trailed off. “You usually approach me only when you want to sleep with me.”

Dante exhaled, then shook his head. “Would you like me to keep you company until you fall asleep?”

I didn’t want to look needy but even more than that I wanted him to stay with me. His baby was growing in my body, and if my gyn confirmed what the tests had said, I’d tell him. “I don’t want to keep you away from work.”

Dante sat back against the headrest, his legs hanging over the edge so his shoes weren’t touching the sheets. I moved closer to him and rested my head on his stomach. When his fingers started massaging my scalp, my eyes fluttered shut. Maybe a baby would bring us closer together. It had worked for some couples in the Outfit.

***

The next day my gynecologist confirmed my pregnancy and that I was seven weeks along.

I could barely contain my excitement and nervousness when I came home afterwards. Dante wasn’t in his office. I called Bibi and grabbed a few pieces of plain toast from the kitchen before I stretched out on the sofa, hoping that way the toast would stay in. My gyn had said my nausea could last for several weeks, but I really hoped I was among the lucky ones who suffered from morning sickness for only a very short time.

I was woken by the sound of a door being slammed shut and sat up, disoriented. It took me a moment to realize I’d fallen asleep in the living room. Heavy steps passed the living room door, then retreated to the back of the lobby. I stood, and after I’d straightened my clothes and hair, I headed toward Dante’s office. The door was closed as always. I knocked and stepped in.

Dante sat behind his desk, a thunderous expression on his face. I leaned against the doorway. He glanced up, but didn’t say anything.

“What happened? Did the Russians give you trouble?” I didn’t mention Frank, not wanting to remind Dante of my mess-up.

Dante leaned back in his chair and shook his head. “No, the Russians aren’t the problem for once,” he said coldly. “Our own people have taken up the task.”

I frowned. “What do you mean? Did one of your men betray you?”

“It looks like there’s not going to be a wedding.”

“You mean between Gianna and Matteo? Why? Did they have another fight?”

“A fight wouldn’t have detained Matteo from making the Scuderi girl his wife. He’s obsessed with her. No, the girl ran away.”

I walked into the room and perched on the edge of the desk, stunned by the news. “Gianna ran away from home? But how did she manage to escape her bodyguards?” I doubted Scuderi would have let her out of sight for a second. She was way too volatile for that.

“I had a meeting with Rocco but I don’t know all the details yet.”

“New York won’t be happy about it. Do you think it’ll lead to war between them and us again?”

Dante’s lips twisted into a wry smile. “I doubt it. Gianna ran off while she was visiting her sister Aria, so it’s as much Vitiello’s fault as ours.”

“It’s on them then. How can it be our fault if she was in their territory?”

“People are going to say Scuderi didn’t raise his girls right. Some will start to wonder how a Consigliere can control his soldiers if he can’t even control his own daughter. Few might even say it reflects badly on me that I’m taking advice from someone who lets his daughter go rampant.”

“That’s ridiculous. Gianna has always been boisterous. Her siblings are perfectly well behaved, so nobody can blame Scuderi or you.” I remembered what Gianna had said about escape when I’d talked to her. Should I have taken that more seriously? I’d thought she was only letting off steam.

“I’m not so sure. And who says that Aria didn’t help her sister escape?”

My eyes grew wide. “But Gianna’s supposed to marry Aria’s brother-in-law. She would have betrayed her own husband if she’d helped her sister run away.”

Dante nodded, that same cold smile still on his face. “Things are going to get very unpleasant.”

I rubbed my belly absentmindedly. “What will you do? Has Matteo cancelled the wedding yet?”

“Oh no. Matteo has no intention to cancel the wedding. He’s determined to find Gianna. He already started searching for her.” He sighed. “Scuderi is sending two of his soldiers with Matteo. The three of them should be able to track down the girl. They are professionals and she’s a sheltered girl who doesn’t know anything about the real world.”

I could feel a new wave of sickness rising up in me, but I fought it. “Don’t underestimate Gianna. If there’s anyone who could do it, then it’s her.”

“Perhaps. But she’s also hot-headed, and that will eventually lead her to making mistakes.”

I sucked in a deep breath through my teeth as my stomach churned again. Dante searched my face. “You look pale. Are you still not feeling well? Maybe you should talk to the doc.”

“No, I…” I didn’t get to finish the sentence when another wave of nausea washed over me. I rushed out of Dante’s office and toward the guest bathroom. I wouldn’t make it to the master bathroom on the second floor. The moment I was bent over the toilet, I emptied what little I had eaten that morning. Bile burned in my throat. I closed my eyes for a moment as I clung to the bowl. It didn’t help with the dizziness, if possible it made things even worse. My eyes popped open when I heard steps behind me and Dante’s black Budapest shoes appeared in my peripheral vision. I quickly flushed the toilet and staggered to my feet. Dante gripped my arm to steady me as I swayed. “Valentina?” His voice conveyed confusion.

I rinsed my mouth over the washbasin and washed my face. I could feel Dante’s eyes on me the entire time. I faced him, smiling shakily. “I’m fine.”

Dante didn’t look convinced. He followed me into the lobby and then upstairs into our bedroom. I wanted to change my shirt. I couldn’t help but think it smelled of vomit. I knew Dante was suspicious, but I didn’t want to tell him about our baby when he was in such a bad mood because of Gianna. I’d rather keep it a secret a bit longer.

Dante touched my waist. “You know I hate it when you’re keeping secrets. Don’t make it a habit.”

I met his gaze, and pressed my palm against my stomach. Dante followed the movement, his body turning tense.

“I’m pregnant,” I said quietly, hopefully. I wasn’t sure what I’d expected. I knew Dante wasn’t the overly emotional type but I’d hoped for some flicker of joy at least. But there was only suspicion on his face. He took a step back, eyes hard and calculating. “Pregnant?”

“Yes. We never used protection, so I don’t know why you’re acting so shocked. Wasn’t a heir one of the reasons why you married me?”

“That was the reason why my father wanted me to marry again.”

“So you don’t want kids?”

Dante’s mouth was set in a tight line. “Is it mine?”

Now it was my turn to stumble away from him, shock and hurt slamming into me. I couldn’t even say anything. Had he really just asked what I think he had? I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown.

“Answer my question,” Dante said in a low voice.

“Of course it is your child. You’re the only man I’ve ever slept with. How can you even ask such a question? How dare you?”

“I’m not keeping track of everything you do, and there are many men who frequent the casino where you work that wouldn’t say no to a night with you. You’ve made a habit out of keeping things from me. Do I have to remind you of Frank?”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I didn’t want to believe it. Tears of disappointment and fury burned in my eyes. Being pregnant hadn’t exactly helped with my temper and emotionality. “How can you even say something like that? I’ve never given you any reason to doubt me like that. I’m loyal to this marriage. There’s a difference between not telling you about Frank and between cheating on you.”

Dante still didn’t look convinced. “My first wife and I tried for years to get pregnant. It never worked. You and I have been married for less than four months and you’re already pregnant.”

“I don’t know why you act as if that’s impossible. If your first wife was infertile, then that’s your explanation. Have you never consulted with a doctor? Or did you think it was you who was infertile?”

“We never went to a doctor to find out why we couldn’t conceive. Not that it is any of your business. I won’t discuss my first marriage with you.”

I knew why he’d never consulted with a doctor. Stupid pride of Made Men. They’d rather live in ignorance than risk being told that they were shooting blanks. “Too bad. We’re discussing it now. I know why you didn’t want to find out. You didn’t want to know the truth, because you worried it would make you less of a man if it was your fault that your wife couldn’t get pregnant. But now we know it wasn’t your fault. It was Carla who was infertile.” I winced inwardly at my wording. I didn’t want to badmouth a dead woman.

Dante shook his head. “I told you I didn’t want to talk about Carla.”

“Why not? Because you still love her? Because you can’t move on?” He stiffened. “I’m sorry you lost Carla, but I’m your wife now.” Suddenly everything I’d bottled up seemed to come to the surface.

I could see that Dante was teetering on the edge of losing control, and I wanted him to. I was so sick of his sophisticated calm, of his cold logic. “I’m so sick of you treating me like a whore. You ignore me by day and come to me at night for sex. And now you accuse me of cheating on you? Sometimes I think you hurt me on purpose to keep me at arm-length. When will you finally move on? Your wife has been dead for four years, it’s time you stop pitying yourself and realize that life goes on. When will you stop clinging to the memory of a dead woman and realize there’s someone in your life who wants to be with you?”

Dante was in front of me without a warning, his eyes flashing with fury and sorrow. “Don’t talk about her.”

I lifted my chin. “She’s dead and she won’t come back, Dante.”

He clenched his hands at his side. “Stop talking about her.” There was a hint of warning in his voice.

“Or what?” I said, even though the anger in Dante’s eyes sent a shiver of fear down my back. “Do you want to hit me? Go ahead. It can’t possibly be worse than the knife you thrust into my back by accusing me of carrying another man’s child.” It wasn’t exactly the truth. If he raised his hand against me, this marriage would be over once and for all. I knew some women in our world accepted physical abuse, many didn’t have any choice but to do it, Bibiana was one of them, but I’d sworn myself that I’d never bow down to a man like that. Stupid tears made my vision blurry, but I forced them back. I wouldn’t cry in front of Dante.

“You’re so busy honoring her memory and protecting the image of her you have in your mind that you don’t realize how badly you’re treating me. You lost your first wife through no fault of your own, but you will be losing me because you can’t let go of her.”

Dante stared at me, completely frozen. The myriad of emotions in his eyes was impossible to read, and I was too tired to bother. I walked past him and he didn’t try to stop me. He didn’t move at all. “I’ll move into the guest bedroom. There isn’t enough room in our bedroom for me and the memories of your past. If you ever decide you want to give this marriage a chance, then you can come to me and apologize for what you said. Until then, I’m done with us.”

I hurried up the staircase. Dante didn’t try to follow me. The guest bedrooms were always prepared for guests. I slipped into the first, glad when the door shut behind me. I crept into bed. Maybe I’d sealed the fate of my marriage today, but I couldn’t go back to how things had been. I’d rather have a clean cut. Of course I couldn’t divorce Dante and he would never allow it, not that I wanted to, but we could lead completely separate lives despite being married. Many couples in our world did it. We’d go about our days like before, sleep in separate beds and play the married couple in public. We’d have to raise our children together, but most men took a backseat in these matters anyway. Eventually Dante would start frequenting Club Palermo or find a mistress like so many Made Men did, and I would focus all of my energy on taking care of our children. Many women had it worse, and yet the idea that I’d just painted my future made me sick, but I couldn’t pretend Dante hadn’t said those horrible things to me.

It was out of my hands now. Dante had to decide if he wanted to live in the past or move on into a future with me.