It is hard to spend your entire life hating someone so badly that it becomes a habit for you and you forget the main reason why your dislike has grown that much toward him/her. But when the hurricane of your feelings storms at you blowing your cover, everything changes including you because under layers of hate, lived care and love, which were invisible and hidden deep down in your heart...!!!
Nadia's POV:
I couldn't delete the disappointment written on Dillon's face that day the moment he learned the truth; he just stood there completely confused and puzzled of what Zack said. His eyebrows were furrowed upward as his hands were clenched by his side and his eyes were burning holes on my face, just with one look.
I was planning to tell Dillon everything from the beginning till the end but Zack blew everything up for me so I had to gather pieces that I shattered with no means to hurt anybody, and in that moment, I didn't care that Zack had my phone as much as I cared about my friend who walked away when nothing came out of my mouth, a feeling of hurt apparent on his face.
With tears threatening to escape my eyes, I ran after Dillon although my feet hurt me so badly when I put all my weight on them when I was descending the stairs. My friendship with Dillon, meant the world to me so I couldn't ruin what we had because of my fake marriage, it just couldn't happen.
Because of my state, I couldn't keep up with him as he started fading out of my sight in the corner so I had to literally yell and call his name several times but he didn't stop, he kept walking away; he never left like that, never did we have an issue that we didn't solve in the same exact moment it started therefore as he was walking away, I literally felt like I lost him. And it hurt me but I wouldn't give up, I would try till I get him to listen to me.
At some point, I was out of breathe, I felt like my feet were bleeding and I could no longer move so without even realizing, I lead my head on a near wall and closed my eyes, feeling adrenaline rush through me as panic settled inside of me for a mere minute. I wished I could explain myself, I wished I could bring back time and admit everything myself, not after being caught like I was doing something bad, I should've told him about it before I even married Zack.
"You think I didn't know?" Dillon's soft voice echoed in my head and I honestly thought that I was imagining things but then I suddenly felt a tug on my jacket, I opened my eyes immediately to meet Dillon's intense eyes.
I stared at him blankly even though his statement didn't surprise me, since I knew that his parents would mention it to him since I saw them in the wedding. However, I somehow hoped nobody would tell him besides me and I knew that it was selfish from my part but I was honestly ashamed to confront him and I felt somehow guilty that I had to hide the truth.
"Why did you marry him? Since when did you learn to hide things from me? What about your feelings for Col?" He pounded me with questions that seemed forced out of his mouth.
'Did he ask about my feelings for Col?' I questioned myself, quite embarrassed because my feelings were supposed to be a secret 'What did he mean by saying "Your feelings for Col"? Did he actually blow my cover? What if Col also knew?' My head hurt a lot in that moment and I had lots of things to say but I didn't have the courage to even open my mouth to let words come out.
"Why Nadia? Just tell me" He caressed my cheeks, obviously realizing that I was starting to freak out.
"What do you mean?" I spoke the only thing that came to my mind since I didn't even find what to say.
"You think I didn't know that you liked Col or even worse loved him?" He asked me as if he knew what I was thinking about as he took a step back "Why did you marry Zack then?"
"It isn't a real marriage" I answered him immediately without hesitation.
I told him everything from the beginning till that day, hoping that he would at least be by my side but his face didn't show anything, he stared at me with an emotionless face while I looked down at the ground, feeling pain pressing on my nerves because of my legs and heart.
"What will happen to Col?" He lifted my chin slowly until I was looking at him "What will happen after a year? Do you think Col will wait for you?"
In that moment, I felt a sharp pain in my heart, like things slipped through my fingers because when I accepted the deal with Zack, I didn't even think of the consequences of my decision on my relationship with Col, I only thought of grandpa, and my life was pushed aside. Nothing mattered more than grandpa.
"I don't know" I whispered as tears started rolling down my cheeks because I didn't even know what I was going to do in my life, I was a mess and nobody could help me to get out the circle I was living in.
Nevertheless, when Dillon asked me about what would happen to Col, he missed the point that Col and I, we never had a relationship, we had a complicated friendship that never developed to something more intimate although it was apparent that we were both drowning in friend zone and none of us made a move.
Col was never mine.
Dillon was the type of people who read my thoughts without words so I didn't even have to utter words, he just stepped in my personal space and hugged me tightly while I just lead my head on his chest, too numb to return his hug as my arms fell to my side and I had no strength to react anyway.
After spending some time in Dillon's hug, I wiped the tears that somehow stopped pouring down my cheeks but yet left a salty liquid on my face; I took a deep breath and decided what my next move would be. I would gather my friends and have fun with them like the old days without caring about someone called "Zack Collins". Of course after explaining the rush of my marriage and keeping the arrangement part for myself, since not all of them were like Dillon.
Dillon offered me a ride home but I insisted to stay alone because although his presence was good, I would be better alone. He didn't persist much since he knew that it would be a waste of time so I headed straight to my car where it was parked three cars away from Zack's. However, my peaceful time was disturbed when I spotted Jasmine sitting on the hood of Zack's car. And as soon as she spotted me, she stalked toward me, swaying her hips as if she was in a fashion runway.
To say that what she was wearing, was inappropriate, was totally understatement because she was wearing a short red dress that fitted her like a second skin, a white jacket with high-heels while her blonde hair with the red strays was well straightened and curled at the ends fitting her clothes and red lipstick perfectly.
"Hello" She spoke with a high pitched voice.
"What do you need?" I snapped at her, not feeling the mood to interact with her.
"I don't know what he saw in you but you better stay out of my way" She glared at me, putting her hands on her hips.
"What do you mean?" I looked at her confused since I had no idea of what she was talking about.
"You think I don't know that you are living with Zack?" She smirked at me "I will make sure that everybody sees your true colors"
"Where did you get that from?" I tried to hide my annoyance but she was literally getting under my skin "The newspaper maybe? Unless you don't have Internet access, we're married"
"The prince himself told me" She giggled brightly as if she remembered something funny "He said that he has no other choice so I invited him to my house. Don't worry if he doesn't show up"
Without adding anything else, she stormed away leaving me flustered and confused! 'Was he actually going to her house? Did he actually tell her that he had no choice? Was he actually telling people that? Or was it Jasmine only?' I thought as I couldn't find an answer in my mind so instead of standing there, I climbed in my car and headed home, leaving my meeting with Dillon, Col and Lara for the day after since even if I met them, my mind would be somewhere else and it wouldn't be fair to them.
After almost thirty minutes, I was already in front of the door entering the apartment. I had one destination in my mind, which was my bathroom since I needed to relax and release my frustration so soon enough, I opened my bathroom's door and filled the bath tub with warm water.
I lifted my hair up in a bun as I entered the hot water after undressing myself; I felt my muscles relax even though my feet hurt as I sat making water reach my chin level, just the way I loved it. I closed my eyes and put my head under water for about thirty seconds before lifting my head when I was out of breathe.
My thoughts kept drifting to Jasmine. If she was saying the truth, he would be in her house by now. 'Why did I care that much? Why did it bother me as much as it did? Before I didn't care if a girl approached Col because I knew him but when it came to Zack, I wanted to push away girls who gave Zack winks and looks! Why am I thinking this way?' I sighed at myself for leaving my thoughts take that path.
I washed my hair and cleaned my body with my strawberries and Vanilla shampoo. After few minutes, I stepped out of the the tub and wrapped myself in a towel. I dried my hair then headed back to my room. I wore some random grey shorts and a pink comfy long shirt which rested just above my knees then I headed to the living room, tying my hair up in a messy bun.
I grabbed my phone, plugged-in my head phones and started listening the sixty minute version of Moonlight Sonata since it was great whenever I needed to relax and just kill time. I just closed my eyes and lead it on the sofa, enjoying peace I was living in.
Moonlight Sonata had finished and Für Elise followed by but still Zack still didn't show up. It was already 6 pm and I was kind of bored so I decided to cook something to eat because I was starving as I didn't eat throughout the entire day, which reminded me to take my apple out of my bag.
I ended up cooking mushed potato with roasted chicken because it was easy and quick but yet so delicious. I sat down on the sofa and ate my food while watching TV and killing time doing absolutely nothing for almost an hour. However, when I felt tired and my eyelids were heavy, I turned off the TV and the lights off and rested myself on the sofa as sleep took me away.
*****
One of my biggest nightmares since I was young, was darkness because I couldn't see what was coming ahead of me or what was waiting for me. And that's what I dreamed of that day. I was walking in a dark hallway all by myself; I kept walking but the hallway never ended, and when I finally found a light in the end of it, I saw dad standing beside it, offering me his hand to take.
A feeling of happiness consumed me of a sudden as I started running towards him, telling him how much I missed him. Dad's face remained the same as the last time I saw him; his black hair was tousled back and his eyes looked all black from afar as his skin seemed white as milk. But my joy faded away when a figure walked past me toward him and they both disappeared. However, the figure turned and waved at me before darkness took away my sight, it was grandpa.
I yelled and called them, telling them to not leave me alone but they never came back and the hallway was dark again, leaving me running like a maniac until I came to a halt where I couldn't even move nor yell to make them return, a least just for a bit so I could take in their appearance one more time. Nevertheless, nothing that I wished happened and I was left all alone, facing my biggest nightmare. Darkness...
I was crying silently on the cold marble floor in that dark hallway when I suddenly heard my name being called as I felt someone caressing my cheeks but my unconscious refused to let me go, I had to find grandpa before dad could take him away. I had to because he couldn't leave me alone. He promised to stay by my side, no matter what happened.
I could hear Zack's voice beside me but I refused to open my eyes, I wanted to keep looking, I wanted to see dad again and tell him how I missed him and how much his absence was difficult, but Zack kept drawing circles on my cheeks, obviously wiping the tears I had on my face.
"Nadia, it's just a bad dream" Zack jerked me out of the nightmare, bringing me back to reality "It's just a nightmare"
Realizing that I was never going back to that nightmare, I blinked several times before realizing that I was crying and shivering in reality as well, while Zack sat beside me, rubbing my back gently with one hand as his other hand caressed my cheeks , giving it warmth and security.
His face was mixed with feelings, he seemed worried, terrified and scared. His eyes were glued on mine as I just stared at him back, taking in his appearance and in that exact moment, flashes of that day, came back running to me like a stupid reminder of what happened with Dillon, and then Jasmine in the parking lot.
"What are you doing here?" I finally gained my composure to ask.
"What do you mean?" He asked me, confusion written on his face "I live here"
"Weren't you supposed to stay at Jasmine's today" I stood up and started walking intending to head to my room but he was faster as he stood up, he gripped my wrist and pulled me back, till I was facing him.
"Why would I stay at Jasmine's? She just broke her leg" He spoke calmly as a smile started to creep to his face.
"Oh" I didn't find what to say because I had realized that Jasmine did that on purpose to get under my skin and she did.
I was jealous...
"Sorry I better go to my room" I mumbled, not able to even face him.
"Are you jealous?" He grinned at me, his eyes held something cozy in them, something that I couldn't point out. He loosened his grip on my wrist but he didn't let me go, instead he held my hand in his.
"Why would I?" I blabbered, nervously as he took a step toward me, the only thing separating us, was my hand which was still in his fingers, safe and sound "I have no right to"
"Why haven't you?" He whispered, his eyes eyeing me intensely.
"Because I'm not supposed to feel anything when it comes to you" I answered him, not sure what I was saying because I was speechless out of a sudden.
"Who said that?" He moved his face even closer to mine.
"Us" My voice was trapped in my dry throat.
"Well let me see..." He beamed at me, genuinely.
"What?" I raised my eyebrow at him, skeptically.
"What if I want you to be jealous?" His fingers started drawing circles on my skin, tenderly, sending an entire zoo in my stomach "Just like I was when you ran after your friend or when your cutie called you princess" His face inched toward me, leaving me breathless and ecstatic.
When he started leaning down, my body refused to process anything besides him. His hands reached my cheeks caressing them gently with his thumb as he stared deeply in my eyes, which gave me a shiver run down my spine and a stupid strange feeling in my heart, a feeling that I couldn't even define.
He kept getting closer until our foreheads were brushing, one against the other as his breath fanned my face, giving me a scent of menthe invading my nostrils and sending my heart running a freaking marathon.
His lips were merely touching mine while he was still gazing at my eyes, as if he was waiting for my approval 'if I wanted him to carry on or stop in that moment'. However, I didn't know what I would do and what  my decision would affect our relationship in the future; I just stared at him for few seconds then I closed the gap between us for just second in quick kiss then I took a step back but my legs hit the sofa, which made me lose my balance and almost fall back if Zack's arm wasn't quicker and caught me.
"What was that for?" He pulled my by the waist and pulled me back to his chest "Teasing? I already told you that you are tempting" He smirked at me, devilishly.
In a matter of two seconds, he leaned down again but this time, he didn't wait, he captured my lips in his, and started kissing me sweetly. In the beginning, I was numb and I didn't even know how to react however, his arm that was resting on my waist and the other one that was keeping my face in place, gave me a feeling of security and reassurance. Therefore, and without hesitation, I kissed him back instead of pulling away.
It was beyond everything I thought a first kiss would be.
It gave me a feeling of security and happiness, throwing my fear of earlier out of the window because he was perfectly nice and gentle, way far from what I used to read in books and see in movies, he didn't push me to do anything else, we just stood there, simply kissing.
I dared and reached for the back of his head and snuggled my hand in his hair, drowning him closer to me as heat started creeping in my entire body. He titled his head to the left side at my gesture and moved my head to the right one, and continued kissing me like nothing mattered in that moment besides us.
us. !!!
As much as we were both obviously enjoying the moment, he was the first one to break it because we were both out of breath; he put his forehead on top of mine, his eyes still closed and he was breathing heavily just like me. None of us dared to spell a word that would ruin the moment for both of us.
"That was..." He mumbled, opening his eyes to look down at me after being trapped in a comfortable silence.
"I know..." I smiled shyly at him for the first time in my life.
His arm on waist didn't even move an inch as his fingers started stroking the fabric of my long shirt delicately and gently, giving me chills all around my body, whereas I just gazed at his beautiful hazel brown eyes, speechless and amazed by the amount of the intensity they held.
"I'm sorry" He caressed my cheeks before planting a kiss on my forehead, his lips lingering there for a while.
"For what?" I found myself asking because I had no idea about what he was apologizing for.
"For all of the mean things I told you before" He spoke genuinely, leaving me tongue-tied and wordless.
I couldn't explain joy I felt in that moment when I heard him say those words because I somehow waited for those words for so long that I thought they were never going to be spelled by him. Moreover, I believed him and I was actually starting to fall for him. And that explained why I was jealous when I thought of him and Jasmine together, why my heart skipped beats whenever he approached me and why I couldn't get him out of my mind even when I thought I hated him.
"Really? What if I don't forgive you?" I smirked at him putting my hands on my hips.
"You ruined the moment, you know?" He smiled at me devilishly.
"Oops" I pouted at him, adoringly.
"But I know how you can fix it" He winked at me, flashing me one of his Megawatt smiles "I'll leave it to another day, now I'm exhausted"
"Yeah, we better head to sleep" I stated before I took his hand off my my waist and I started walking to my room but Zack was faster as he ran towards me and blocked my way.
"Where do you think you're going?" He ran his hand through his hair, nervously.
'Was he anxious?' I thought to myself as I watched him, rub his neck several times.
"My room?" I answered him, awkwardly since I had no idea of what he was waiting for me to say.
"What if you have another nightmare?" He played with a loosened stray of hair on the side of my face "stay with me tonight"
I could refuse his offer immediately but a part of me wanted to be with him in that moment because the last thing I wanted, was to wake up freaked out at night with darkness surrounding me. However, my inner voice stated in my head "You're only bringing excuses to be around him" And it was true, I needed his presence. No I wanted his presence.
As soon as I spelled"Sure", he grinned widely at me before grasping my hand in his and leading me to his room as I followed him . He flickered the lights on and turned to face me. He stared at me for few seconds as blush crept to my cheeks, which became as red as a tomato, and he tugged a loosened stray of hair behind my ear, brushing his fingers on my skin in the process which gave me a sudden urge to lay-in his warm hand.
"I'll be right back, I'll wear something comfortable" He smiled at me genuinely before he stormed off to his bathroom.
I walked to his bed and sat awkwardly on the edge of it, not sure what I would do although I had been in his room before and I already slept on his bed. However, the first time, we were obliged to bear each other in front of his grandma, while back to that moment, we both really wanted to be together, we weren't pretending.
I scanned my surroundings, seeking for something interesting to kill my boredom and pass time as I was waiting uncomfortably for Zack to come back. His books' shelves caught my attention right away so I marched toward it and picked a random book. I was about to read otz title when I suddenly heard the bathroom's door slid open.
For a strange reason, I couldn't even concentrate on the book in my hand and all I thought of was, Zack's presence and his proximity in within five seconds; I could feel that he was behind me so I just froze on my spot and pretended that I was reading the book while in fact, I didn't even check the title and just focused my gaze on its black and yellow cover.
"From all the interesting things that you could check in my room, you picked a book?" He spoke lowly beside my ear as he slid his arms around my waist and put his head on the crock of my neck.
"Yeah because I love reading" I cleared my suddenly dry throat, trying my best to keep my composure.
"So what do you think about my collection?" He spoke, calmly, obviously not aware of the affect his single breathe on my skin, was doing to my body.
"Good" I blabbered as my eyes settled on an open Agenda that contained some pictures, and I was suddenly curious to see them.
As if he could read my thoughts, he gestured at the pictures with his finger and stated "You can check it". I reached for the Agenda and opened it eagerly, curious to see what it was about. And wow, was all I could say because what I was holding in my hands, wasn't just a simple Agenda, it was the real meaning of a piece of art.
I displayed the pictures in front of me on the desk and eyed them intensely, totally amazed by their beauty. The first three picture were taken of a beautiful white flower from three different views, two others were pictures of a valey during sunset, and three of them were taken of a a group of friends from the back, they seemed oblivious that they were photographed because they seemed natural and uncaring. I liked it...
The agenda was full of similar pictures but one of them caught my attention in that pile! It was a picture of a little girl riding a bicycle in a public garden, the picture showed the huge smiles plastered on her face as she seemed like she was on top of the world. She was a bubble of joy and energy... Beautiful.
"So what do you think?" Zack breathed in my ear.
"They're amazing, I like them" I answered him honestly, trying my best to even my breathing.
"Good, I am glad you do" He kissed the spot beside my ear "Which one's your favorite?"
"The last one"
"Hum" He hummed "And why's that?"
"It represents life" I dropped the picture on the desk and turned in my heels to face him "It's the real meaning... of..."
I never got the chance to finish what I was saying because my voice suddenly caught up in my throat and I couldn't even form a normal sentence. I just stood there and stared at him or shall I say gawked at him. He was wearing a black short only. His well shaped body was displayed in front of me and I seriously had no idea how to react.
"The meaning of what?" His fingers started stroking the fabric of my shirt tenderly.
"Joy" I whispered, barely able to form words in my mind.
"Your lack of words is giving me an urge to kiss you again" One of his hands left my waist and flied to my face, outlining the shape of my lips with its thumb "Can you feel it?"
"Feel what?"
"The urge" He ran the back of his hand on my cheek and I instantly leaned-in his touch "Answer me"
I wanted to tell him how much I felt it too but I was in a daze and I could barely keep my balance. Thousands of doubts started floating in my head but I pushed them to the back of my mind because I believed that that moment was right, it felt right. Therefore, I did the one thing that seemed convenient to me, which was following my instincts.
I lifted my hand and put it on his cheek, watching his reaction intensly. His eyes darted to my hand right away as he inhaled a deep breathe then looked back at me. He obviously didn't expect me to do that. My other hand dared and found its place in his hair, enjoying the silk feeling of it.
With every move I made, he was moving closer and closer and his body lounged to mine. His gaze rested on my lips for few seconds before he closed his eyes and parted his lips slightly to take in a deep breathe. Watching how much I affected him, gave me the courage to step on my tiptoes and pull his face closer to mine and kiss him.
His hold of me tighetened the moment my lips made contact with his; he pulled me to his chest and instead of leaving his hands on my waist, he sent them to my back in order to draw me nearbier to him if it was even possible.
Unctrollably, I pulled away to inhale a breathe but as soon as I did so, he licked his bottom lip and crushed his lips on mine again, this time eagerer to deepen it even more by biting on my upper lips and sliding his tongue inside my mouth, it stroked mine for a brief second causing me to moan out the undeniable pleasure that coursed through my body.
However, the kiss didn't last long since he pulled his mouth away from mine instantly and dropped his head back, sighing and breathing heavily as if he was fighting demons in his head. Looking at him in that position, I couldn't help but think that I was the reason of his reaction and the bad thoughts that started contamining my mind, which made me take a step back and intend to turn away but it didn't happen since he reached for my cheeks and kept my face facing his.
"I can't..." He whispered as he put his forehead on top of mine "I had to pull away"
"Is it me?" I wanted so badly to know, closing my eyes the moment those words left my mouth.
Embarassed.
"Open your eyes" He stroked my cheeks tenderly "Please..."
His voice was so low I could barely hear it, pleading me. Therefore, I did what he asked for and I flickered my eyes open to look at him. His face was covered in a look that I had never seen before; it was a mixture of honesty, relief and confusion at the same time. I couldn't understand it.
"I just pulled away because I don't want to take things to the next level" He stated sincerely, still caressing my skin "Not before we figure out our new feelings?"
"Feelings?" I repeated after him, not sure if I heard him right.
"Yeah feelings"
"What feelings?" I pulled my head away to look at his eyes but his hands were still rested on my face. I needed to see their honesty.
"The uneasiness I had in my chest when you ran after your friend leaving me behind and when I saw the way your eyes sprakled at Col in the parking lot, the fear I had when I saw blood on kitchen's floor, and the sense of protectiveness that consumed me when I saw you shivering on the sofa earlier" He stared deeply in my eyes, brushing few stays of hair that fell on my forehead away "Heck, I only wanted to release your pain" He planted a kiss on my forehead, gently.
My heart probably skipped some beats...
"So you don't want to get rid of me anymore" I blurted the first thing that came to my mind and when I realized what I said I mentally slapped myself and looked away.
"Of course not" He chuckled at my silliness "Let's go to sleep"
He marched to left side of the bed, slid under the covers and made himself comfortable while I just stood in place in a daze. I couldn't believe that Zack: The guy, who couldn't even bear my presence, was the same guy who was so gentle and surprisingly romantic with me.
As if he heard my thoughts, he lifted his head and looked at me amusingly; he winked at me before he patted the spot beside him and gestured at me to join him. I hesitated to go in the beginning after everything that happened between us but one look in his eyes threw my doubts out of the window and made me walk toward him.
I sat on the right side of the bed and slid under the conver, a little bit awkwardly because I didn't know what to do once I was beside him. Therefore I just rested on my back and started staring at the ceiling, uncomfortably.
"You call that sleeping my wife?" He stated when I made no move.
"What do you mean?" I turned my head and looked at him.
"You can't possibely sleep in that position, I will show you how it's done" He pointed at me to face him and move closer; the moment I followed his command, he approached me, he threw one his arms under my head as the other one reached my back and pulled me closer to his body, and they finally locked behind me, keeping me trapped in place "See, this is the real deal"
As a matter of fact, I felt secure and safe in his arms, which made me grateful that I chose to stay with him that night since I was sure that if I went to sleep in my room, I would end up having nightmares all night feeling lonely before giving up and reading a book instead, that leaded me to look like a Zombie in the morning. Moreover, I liked his presence, it was relaxing.
"I really meant what I said" He whispered in my ear, reassuringly.
"I know" I answered him with the same tone of voice.
"Good" He kissed my foreahed tenderly, playing with the loose ends of my bun before he released my hair and ran his hand through it "I was fighting the urge to run my hand through your hair like this for so long"
"Goodnight" I caressed his cheek with the back of my hand then I gathered my strength and kissed him breifely on the lips.
"Goodnight" His lips formed a lopsided smile, pulling me even closer to him if it was even possible.
I liked it...
/*Please, don't forget to vote, thank you*/