CHAPTER SONG: "Say Something" by A Great Big World (& Christina Aguilera)
"For the last time Joe, I'm okay. The black cohosh should relieve the pains in my stomach, the doctor said so himself. I won't hold it against you if you can't cure all my injuries and ailments." Emmanuelle took another drink of her herbal tea, provided for her courtesy of Nurse Tallis. Her new hospital clothes were less scratchy and her leg freshly bandaged with clean dressings.
"I just want to make sure you're comfortable before I leave tonight." Joseph removed one of the daffodils from the bouquet he had gifted to her awhile ago and lightly tapped her nose with its soft petals. "I'm sure your nurse is ready to chase me out of here with a broom."
Emmy chuckled before releasing a sneeze from the daffodil tickling her nose. Her freshly damp brown hair from her bath was in one braid that hung around her shoulder, ever tempting for Joseph to unravel and loosen out her strands to untangle them...
"Thank you for helping me with that, Joseph. And again for the flowers. Not many men from my time would make such an effort to help me feel better." She reached out to him and took ahold of one of his hands, interlocking their fingers. "Being here with you and William has really made me grateful for the decency of people. I've mostly had only myself to rely on..."
She trailed off as she hung her head, blinking back tears before he could see them. Her free hand held onto the St. Christopher around her neck and she hoped he would find a change of subject.
Thankfully, he was able to rescue her once again... proving that he was learning more about what made her tic and detecting her emotional needs.
"Do you wanna read out the letter you've written to your Corp. Schofield?" Lt. Blake found himself asking before he could stop himself. He fought back a wry smile at the question, as though he was aiming to tease her with the intention of making her blush.
Emmy looked down at the addressed envelope that contained the letter on her lap, the handwriting scribbled messily from not being accustomed to the pen used for her writing. She pulled her hand free from Joseph's and held the letter tightly in her grasp, close to her blanketed chest.
"Lieutenant Joseph Blake! Did nobody teach you to respect a lady's secrets?" The bedridden woman gasped loudly before smiling brightly. Lt. Blake found himself reciprocating with his own joyful grin, his heart beating in a wild pace at such a lovely sight gracing her features.
How great it felt to experience a fleeting moment of bliss, especially when it was with her... The words he wanted to say to her escaped him before he could refrain from speaking aloud, hoping she wouldn't rebuff them.
"Emmanuelle... I don't think discretion is your strongest quality. Nor is secrecy good to have between men and women." His smile decreased into a smirk as he locked eyes with her, knowing their time together was running out before he had to leave her side.
"And what do you see as my strongest qualities?" She asked him the question before she could stop herself. "Why are you feeling something beyond friendship for me when you knew from the beginning that Will and I are in love?"
Lt Blake clicked his tongue and looked down at their hands, interlocking their fingers again in a gentle hold. Then he looked into her bright green eyes again...and everything became clear to him. His chest ached and he choked back the lump in his throat so he could answer her question.
For a brief second, he witnessed a spark of anxiety in her eyes and he hated seeing the happiness gone from her face.
"I'll put it simply, though I don't believe anything about you can be simple..." He risked making her angry and the fire of annoyance alighted her eyes at his phrasing toward her, but he continued. "You're strong and fearless. Your natural beauty stuns me and your irresistible compassion frightens me. Every time I look at you, I know I'll never be the same as I was before you held me in your arms at the camp."
Emmy inhaled a deep breath as she listened to his confession, torn between telling him to stop speaking and staying silent, knowing how difficult saying these words ought to be for him. She looked at their hands and saw both of his much larger ones now cupped one of hers, his touch gentle in their grip.
The letter she had written to Will, now encased in a wrinkled envelope, she held against her pounding heart as she swallowed back and prepared to say something back to him.
Her throat felt so dry, she was afraid she would choke. And she hated herself for not being able to protect this soldier from himself...from this misguided affection and anguish he was experiencing all because of her...
"Joseph... I understand what you're saying... and I'm sorry that I only added to your sadness with what you're feeling that I can't reciprocate. If anything, you should hate me after you leave today and not allow yourself to think of me again."
The tears made a river trail down her reddened cheeks and her retinas stung from the burning they caused.
"Emmanuelle, I won't allow our final words to each other after tonight be ones of misery. I said before that you're not to blame for what's happened today. If anything, you've helped me cope with Tom's death..." He paused as he became stunted with his words for a moment and his fingers squeezed her hands tightly before loosening again and his own tears shone in his eyes. "I just want you to know that I would never hurt you and will give anything to see you out of this damned hospital bed...and know you're safe when your Schofield arrives to whisk you away on his white horse."
A melancholic smile emerged on his lips as he spoke those assuring words to her.
He was past the point of no return now, but he wouldn't allow that fact to consume him. He was a gentleman and a soldier. It was an unhealthy sentiment, keeping his attraction toward Emmanuelle Hunterson locked away inside until this pointless war killed him...
Lt. Blake bitterly recalled the words he had been taught in army training, about allowing himself to be vulnerable in the face of compromising emotion...
It doesn't do to dwell on it.
He would be the better man for Thomas, Corp. William Schofield and the wondrous woman lying in the hospital bed and who was relying on him to keep their dynamic intact within the boundaries of platonic companionship, no matter how his heart desired for more.
He would be the man of honor for all of them, including not placing unwanted affection and risk losing her presence in his life.
"I'd like for us to write to each other, and stay in touch. And let you know I'm safe once Will and I arrive in Surrey." Emmy found herself smiling and Joseph found himself returning it despite the painful burn in his chest knowing he'd be separated from her.
"Then I suggest you get to writing your letter, my dear." A deep male voice, thick with authority, but layered with a gentle warmth.
Both Lt. Blake and Emmanuelle turned at the other presence standing at the threshold of her room. Joseph immediately stood to attention, his back ramrod straight and raising his hand to his forehead in a respectable salute.
"Captain Smith, sir!" Lieutenant Blake displayed the proper demeanor as a disciplined soldier, as though he hadn't been having stressful dialogue mere moments before with a woman he could never call his own.
"At ease, Lieutenant Blake." The superior officer assured the younger man that he could lower his guard for the moment. "There's no need to startle the lady while she needs her rest."
"Yes, sir. I couldn't agree more."
Emmy found herself bewildered at how quickly Joseph was able to switch back and forth between the besotted grieving man pouring his soul out to her and the steadfast obedient soldier who protected her from a lethal sniper in the dead of night.
"Hello, Captain. It's good to see you again." Emmy smiled and reached out as he approached her bedside, the older man removing his parade hat from his head as a gesture of respect to her as the fairer sex, as he would most likely describe her.
Capt. Smith's large, calloused hand took hold of hers in a reassuring grip, and a feeling of relief flowed through that everything would be alright. This superior officer, who was old enough to be her father, emanated a vibe to her that he would never cause her harm and that fact made her want to sob in an undignified manner, but she kept herself composed.
She could save all that for Joseph's departure...
"It's a relief to see you on the road to healing, Miss Emmy." Smith raised an eyebrow to her in a half-joking manner as he spoke her nickname, recalling her insistence from the previous night that he didn't need to hold up such formalities with her. "I'm afraid the time has come for Lieutenant Blake to return to his battalion and continue his duties to the men under his command. I trust he was nothing short of a complete gentleman to you."
Emmanuelle looked away from the Captain and toward Lt. Blake, who possessed a somewhat anxious shine in his eyes...as though he feared what she was about to say and she understood immediately what it was in regard to.
His impulsive attempt to kiss her knowing she loved a fellow brother-in-arms...a near betrayal of the trust between Lance Corporal and Lieutenant with her safety...
Surely, it wouldn't be worth a court martial, and she was ready to move on from that moment, and Joseph Blake was her friend...and she would aim to protect him from any consequences.
There were greater things happening around them than a private moment of friction between a 20th century soldier and a woman out of her own time.
"Yes, he was. William couldn't have asked a better man to entrust with keeping me safe in his place." She gently pulled her hand out of the Captain's and grabbed one of Lt. Blake's with both of hers. She smiled widely up at the blue-eyed, raven haired man who had gone above and beyond for her in the last twenty four hours, flaws and arguments and everything in between. "He even bought me flowers to cheer me up after I had a nightmare earlier today."
Emmy gestured to the floral bouquet sitting in a vase next to her bed.
She fibbed to the Captain surprisingly easily, and she hoped he wouldn't detect anything indicating that she wasn't being entirely truthful. Emmy felt Joseph rub his thumb along her small knuckles in a quiet display of gratitude toward her.
"Excellent. Congratulations on accomplishing your mission, Lt. Blake. We'll move out momentarily. I'll leave you a few moments to say goodbye to Miss Hunterson." Captain Smith replaced the parade hat atop his head.
"Thank you, Captain. I appreciate you allowing me a final moment with the lady." Lt. Blake revealed his gratefulness to his superior, his eyes softening as he looked away from the older man and toward the spirited American woman who surprised him still with every word she said.
"Many prayers for you and your Corporal Schofield, Ms. Hunterson. If you desire so, I'll make certain your letter for him arrives in due time to his location. Sometimes our mail postings can be confusing in this area with the strafes." Capt. Smith nodded toward the letter that laid by her side on the bed.
"Yes, thank you! Any way you can get this to William, please?" She found her hand shaking as she held the envelope out for the captain to take. The superior officer delicately grasped onto the letter and placed it into his front uniform pocket.
Emmy felt her breath hitch and a painful lurch in her chest at the thought of the numerous strafes William and most likely Joseph and countless other people would have to continue to endure for the next year and a half...
"I promise I'll do what I can to see he receives your letter. I've no doubt he's thinking of you every moment until he arrives here in two weeks time." Capt. Smith reached down and fleetingly tickled her chin, his eyes twinkling with a comforting smile of fatherly care. "Farewell, my dear. And may God watch over you."
The older man tipped his parade hat as a final sign of chivalric reverence to her before turning and departing from the room, giving Lt Blake a pointed glance in his direction.
Lieutenant Joseph Blake and Emmy Hunterson were left alone to their goodbyes.
"I suppose this is it, Joseph." She was the first to speak, her voice cracking with a distress that made her throat thicken with a suffocating sob, her ribs ached... "Will you write to me when you get a chance?"
"I'll do anything you ask of me, Emmanuelle. I've not the best writing skills, but I'll notate for you a novel of letters if it'll make you happy." Joseph knew he was being overly passionate with his wording, but he failed to care how quixotic he sounded. "I don't deserve you and I proved so by doing what I did today. Not even a million medals could compare to being worthy of your affection. Corporal Schofield earned your love, whereas I'll be privileged to have your everlasting friendship and trust. It's what Thomas would want, as well."
He found himself echoing their conversation from earlier and he still found himself holding back tears again...
Joseph dared to reach for her face, three fingertips from his hand gingerly against her cheek, just barely grazing her translucent skin...
Just a touch of heaven he felt from her... yet still out of his reach.
"Joseph...I know what you want from me, and I'm sorry I can't give you that. But don't let me hold you back from making yourself happy again. When the war is over, you'll go home to your mother and you'll rebuild a life with your medical studies. As far as I know, I may not be able to stay here in this era forever, or even be able to come back. Just...be the better man, the man who tended to me in that triage tent at your encampment, who stood by William in defending my honor from that ass Colonel Mackenzie, and carried me in his arms when I was in too much pain to walk myself."
Lt. Blake found himself chuckling at her recalling those moments in spite of the tear that escaped down his face. Emmy reached up and swiped it away, how it pained her immensely to see him cry. He tenderly removed her hand from his cheek and pressed his lips to her dainty fingers.
"Should I die on the battlefield tomorrow, I'll perish satisfied that I kept my promises to you and your Schofield. Whatever path you end up on, I hope you find every happiness that fulfills you in this life, dearest Emmanuelle Julia Hunterson."
His voice lowered into a deep whisper as he spoke her full name in a way a devoted priest would speak a prayer in a sermon...no falsehood or mockery evident in his tone.
He just only stopped himself from outright saying those fateful words aloud to her. He would never speak of them verbally...
Instead, his own trembling lips pressed to her forehead, the Lieutenant closing his eyes to conceal the longing swimming within them.
Emmanuelle gasped softly, inhaling a breath at the implication of what he would never say aloud to anyone; that attempted uninvited kiss a critical catalyst in their complicated dynamic.
"Joseph..." She whispered as he pulled away.
Emmy looked up to see the tears vanished from his eyes, his brooding features clouded with a near mechanical stoicism, almost cold as he glanced down at her one final time.
"I'll write to you when I can. And ensure Captain Smith gets your letter to Corporal Schofield." His voice was blank of emotion, as though he were reciting the specifics of another war assignment. He placed his own parade hat on his head; enough was enough for one night.
And he walked away from her again, his heart breaking into tiny pieces at the sound of her approaching sobs. Without stopping to take one last visual at her... he would only find himself on his knees begging like a dog for mercy at her bedside if he turned around.
His mission was accomplished...
He met Captain Smith at the hospital entrance, noting the black night-time sky illuminated by the full moon overhead.
"Ready to move out, Lieutenant? Your victory with escorting Miss Hunterson here alive is no doubt a credit to the Devons. Your commanding officer will be pleased. " The Captain walked alongside Lt Blake through the hospital grounds and toward the awaiting caravan truck.
"Thank you, sir." Joseph responded as though he were reading off lines from a consripted play.
"One of the nurses told me that you rarely left her side for most of the day while she's been recuperating. In most situations, that would be considered a conflict of interests and most improper for an unmarried man to be alone for so long with a vulnerable injured young lady. Or may it be the other way around? If you cared for her, you would've kept your distance to preserve her reputation."
Lt Blake stopped in his tracks and the captain followed suit. Both men locked eyes in silent contemplation as a simmering rage began to build within the younger soldier. "Sir, with all respect, please don't assume Miss Hunterson would act in such an unchaste manner. Emmanuelle is kind and honest and wise beyond her years... The lady is not present to defend herself; I won't allow her name to be slandered by the foolish gossip of flighty nurses."
The Lieutenant knew Capt. Smith was only speaking so crudely to get a rise out of the hotheaded, volatile man...and by all damnation it was working. He found the façade of the controlled soldier breaking away and he spoke one final sentence to his superior.
"You're wrong to tell me I don't care about her, Captain."
And the bombshell dropped...
"It runs deeper than that, lad." Smith stepped up to meet Lt Blake face-to-face, in this moment just as two men in human conversation. "You're falling in love with her."