***
It hurts to let go,
But sometimes
it hurts more
to hold on.
***
K I A R A
I groaned as the alarm rang shrilly in my ear. Pulling off the duvet with an unsatisfied sigh, I sat up. Good things never last long. Just like sleep.
I stared at my groggy reflection in the mirror.
My hair was like a porcupine, standing up in all directions, (something Bart Simpson would have been proud of ), my teeth felt like glass and the poor bed looked like it had just suffered a massacre.
Four weeks had passed since my training began, and for once Elena had agreed to let me sleep in. It had taken an awful lot of convincing on my part.
It was already past seven and Ashton would already be in his office now. Now that I was officially a member of the Blood Hound Pack, I would have to fulfill my duties to the pack too.
I took a quick shower, slipped into a pair of jeans and combed my wild hair into a decent ponytail. Once I was done, I dashed down the stairs for breakfast.
Unfortunately for me, the Omegas informed me that Ashton had already finished his breakfast since he had a meeting soon.
I decided to wait for him in his office.
Life as a Luna would be undoubtedly tough. I knew I wasn't Ashton's true mate, but at least I could help him manage the pack. Like I said, it was my duty. After all they had done for me, it was the least I could do. Sure, they were a bit doubtful about me, but I guess they trusted me enough to know I could do this.
I tapped my foot idly on the floor as I waited for him. It was almost 11:00 now. The meeting with the warriors would be over now.
As if on cue Ashton stepped into the office with Claire and Dylan just behind him.
His somber face lit up when he saw me. "Hey you."
"Hi!" I greeted him.
He sat down and faced me. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed that Dylan and Claire had already busied themselves with the daily work. Claire had begun writing something, while Dylan was perusing the files.
This was my chance. I took a seat before him, contemplating how to say it.
"So," I began finally. "There's something I wanted to discuss."
He looked at me curiously.
"Go on." He prompted sensing my hesitancy.
I drew in a deep breath. "I want to help."
A pause.
"I don't understand." He said confusedly.
Of course he didn't. I hadn't even hinted at this before. He would be really surprised I volunteered.
"I'm a White wolf. You've seen me train. With your help, I've improved a lot within such a short time." I stated. "After everything this pack has done for me, I want to be able to help. My gifts, my skillâI don't want them to go waste. Permit me to take up my share of responsibilities."
I wanted to be Luna.
Not for fame or pride.
But because, deep down in my bones, this is what I was born to be.
Aden and his father might've not seen my potential, and that was their mistake. After living all these years under their thumb, I had questioned my self worth and capabilities. My true potential had been buried under layers of insecurity and hurt.
But now in the last few days I spent here, I was beginning to discover myself again.
The scratch of the pen stopped abruptly. Someone's stare was burning holes into my back. Nevertheless, my gaze on Ashton stayed unwavering.
Ashton's face darkened visibly. He cast Dylan and Claire a fleeting glance before he turned back to me.
"Kiara," he said hesitantly, "There are a few problems."
I frowned. "What problems?"
"It's something important." He said, "Could we go outside for a while?"
I nodded in trepidation and followed him. Claire and Dylan were tensed as they watched us leave.
Once outside the pack house, he faced me with a solemn expression.
"What is it, Ash?" I asked. Why was he so tense about such a simple question? Was something wrong in the pack?
"Kiara," he began slowly, "I know you have the ability of being a Luna to our pack. You have the courage and determination required to motivate a pack. Plus you are a White Wolf, which means you're powers are also exceedingly useful to our pack."
"There's a 'but' somewhere here, isn't there?"
He nodded hesitantly. "Unfortunately, yes. There are a few people who think you wouldn't make a good Luna."
My heart pummelled at his words. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I still had the hope I could do this. I thought, despite the scene I had created at the Ceremony, people wouldn't think that about me. Clearly, I was a fool.
"Why?" I asked, containing the pain and hurt in my voice with difficulty. I wasn't a weakling. I wouldn't cry and show what I actually felt. I had to be strong and prove them wrong.
His eyes softened, but I looked away so that I wouldn't see the pity in it. "There aren't many people who are opposed to you," he said, "Just a few. But their words count, so we can't just ignore them."
"Is there any way to convince them?" I asked him.
His mouth set in a grim line, "I thought about that. We need to call another meeting."
* * *
Four hours later, I was sitting with Ashton, Beta Dylan, Gamma Claire and the pack warriors including the Chief Warrior Jared, and Elena.
Jared was a tough well built man in his late forties. His aura itself showed clear signs of courage, determination and - arrogance. He looked at me with a frown as if calculating each and every move of mine. I squirmed in my seat trying to avoid his gaze.
To say I was just nervous sitting with all of them in the Meeting room, would be an understatement. They were all eyeing me curiously except for Elena and Ashton.
Elena was seated beside me. Though she was no longer the reigning Luna, her opinion was vital. She was, after all, one of the senior members. She gave me a reassuring smile when our gazes collide.
"So," Ashton began standing up and facing us all, "We have come here today to discuss a matter that will be very important not just for us, but for each and every member of the pack."
The room quietened the moment he began. They listened in perfect silence.
"Though many of us wanted to find a Luna for the pack," he continued, "There are a few of us who have some doubts regarding the matter."
"Our most recent member, Kiara Evergreen, who is originally from the Dark Wolf Pack, is a White Wolf by birth. Moreover, Kiara is also the true mate of the Alpha of her previous pack, Aden Carter." His fists clenched as he said this and for a second I was scared he would do something rash in his anger against Aden.
Thankfully, he didn't.
"Being the mate of an Alpha, automatically gives her the ability to manage and look after her pack along with her mate. Unfortunately because of the circumstances, Kiara chose to leave her pack and join ours.
Our pack, Blood Hound Pack, didn't have a Luna until Kiara came. My mother who was previously the Luna, handed down the position of Alpha to me, which had been my father's until he passed away."
The audience were still silent as they listened to the Alpha speak. It amazed me how he had so much power over his people. Had I been in his place now, I would have been stuttering and quaking in front of all of them. Ignoring the knot of nervousness in my stomach, I concentrated on his next words.
"So now that Kiara is here, I feel it is only fair on her part to volunteer for the position of Luna of our pack. However, since a few of you were opposed to the idea I conducted this meeting hoping the matter would be sorted out today itself."
Jared stood up in his place and answered Ashton. "There are a few shortcomings in the girl who has volunteered to be our Luna."
I grit my teeth at his tone. He was speaking as though I wasn't even present in the room.
"On the day of the Welcoming Ceremony, she was hesitant to join the pack. This clearly shows that she lacks the :
a) The determination
b) The courage to be a Luna.
This also proves that :
a) She is still attached to her old pack.
b) She is ...."
Was I at a damned blood report reading?
Thankfully, Ashton stood up in my defence cutting into his accusatory speech.
"On the contrary, Warrior Jared," Ashton began keeping his voice as emotionless as possible, "By joining the pack she has proved that she is finally ready to forget her past and live life anew."
"Secondly," he continued, "Kiara was rejected by her mate. However, she did not cry over her fate. Instead she was determined to be brave even when all the other members of her old pack abused and ill treated her. This shows that she is courageous."
I couldn't stop the tears that ran down my cheeks when he took my side in front of everybody.
Elena squeezed my hand gently. "Don't cry, sweetie. We'll always be there for you."
My eyes glistened. "Thanks," I croaked, "Thank you over and over again."
"I suggest who ever are in favor of Kiara to raise their hands up. Our decision will be based on the number of votes." Ashton said when the debate had continued longer than an hour.
Slowly a few hands were raised. Dylan, Elena, a few warriors and Ashton were in favor of me being the Luna.
However, Jared, a few other older warriors and to my surprise, Claire were against me.
In short, we were even.
"There is only one way out of this, Alpha," Jared drawled and my heart beat quickened at the evil glint in his eye. "And that is by setting a challenge."
"A challenge?" Ashton asked him, his eyebrows raised. "Explain."
"Two challenges, actually," Jared said and my nervousness just multiplied a hundred fold."If Miss Evergreen succeeds in the two challenges, we will know she is indeed worthy to be the Luna of our pack."
I could vaguely make out the people muttering when I rose.
His beady eyes watched each and every movement of mine. I could also feel Claire's eyes boring into me as I faced him.
But right now nothing mattered. Not the nervousness I had until a few moments ago, not the way he had insulted me in public, not even the stares aimed at me now. The only thing that mattered now was the overpowering determination to prove.
Prove to them that I was tough. In spite of the hurdles in my way, I could win.
Show them that Kiara Evergreen is not a person who backs down without a fight.
"Challenge accepted." I stated with my new found courage.
* * *
A/N : I know there are many of you debating over the fact whether she is right to become the Luna or not.
But a rule in the werewolf world is that if the young Alpha hasn't found his mate even after he turns eighteen, another Female is allowed to assist him until he finds his true mate. The only thing that matters is whether she is capable for the position or not. Even Stella is not Aden's mate, but she is assisting him as the temporary Luna of the pack, isn't she?
Hope this clears the confusion.
Enjoy reading!
xchristine