Chapter 20: The Pact: Chapter 20

Jace is the first to break the silence. “It isn’t what you think.”

But from the look on Roman’s face, that isn’t very believable. I turn to see Jace has pulled his boxers up, and he’s cleaning himself off with the white tee. He holds his hand out to Roman to keep him from running. Toward him, or away from him, I don’t know. But my heart hurts. This isn’t how I wanted this to happen. I never planned for this to happen.

Did I want it to? Yeah, but I held the same feeling and attraction for each of them, equally. I just wanted to be their friend again. Had I hoped for more? Yeah, maybe, but I’d never pick one over the others if they all felt the same way.

“Roman?” Hunter calls from downstairs, and Roman turns, stomping out of the room.

Fuck. I scramble off the bed. “Roman.” I run after him, but he’s down the stairs before I can catch him.

I follow, finding that Grady has stopped Roman, who is pacing at his side. I rush down the stairs and hold my hands out over the front door. He can’t leave like this; he’s angry and upset, and I can’t have this on my conscience.

I’ve already fucked up enough with him. I need him to understand I’m not abandoning him. That what he just saw…it doesn’t mean…

, I don’t know what it means, but I can’t lose him like this. I know he’ll never forgive me if he walks out that door before I can explain.

Roman pauses a moment. His eyes, dark and stormy now, pin me to the door from across the room. His fingers twitch as they rake through his shaggy hair, the long strands catching and giving him a sexy, messy style that I itch to run my own fingers through. But I know this is the wrong time to be thinking about that or doing it. This isn’t how I thought my day would start…end… I have no idea how I’m even here.

“Roman, what’s wrong?” Hunter asks from the corner of the room.

Grady is standing beside Hunter now. They look to me, and I realize I’m still only wearing my pink lace underwear. Fuck, I can’t go back and grab something else. Roman will leave. I need him to stay, so I can explain.

“Roman, it’s not what you think,” Jace calls from the top of the stairs.

Roman lets out a guttural cry. I can feel it in my chest, the pain he’s experiencing. I’m begging him with my eyes to stay and wait until we can work this out. He starts toward me, and I press myself against the door, my hands down by my sides, hoping I can hold it if he tries to pull it open.

“Don’t leave,” I plead.

Roman moves swiftly, toward me, and his gaze lowers to my body as his arms come up beside my head, caging me in. We are close…so close that I can see the small, faint scars on his face. Like the one from the lake when he declared he was Tarzan and swung. Landing in the water at an odd angle, he caught a tree branch under the water and cut his face.

“Roman?” I whisper, my fingers trembling now.

My heart is racing, and my breathing quickens as he stares at me like he doesn’t know what to do with me. I lift a hand to his face. My fingertips hover close to his jaw. I’m not touching him, but he isn’t pulling away. I can see the other three just in my vision. I sense this isn’t something Roman normally does. But I’m not worried about him hurting me. I’m worried about me hurting him.

I break the barrier between us, running my index finger along his brow and down his sharp cheekbone. He doesn’t blink. His eyes bore into mine as he breathes rapidly. They are full of anger and hurt.

His head tilts slightly. He’s studying me, as I am him. I continue my exploration of his face as I run my finger along his lower lip, and his tongue darts out to where I just touched. Like he’s tasting me. I shiver.

His breathing deepens, as though he’s trying to breathe me in.

He drops his gaze to my breasts, my chest rising and falling fast and my nipples hard against the lace. Every breath I take sends pleasure to my core. I rub my thighs, wanting friction there again. I’m so wet and achy. I never knew just one look from Roman could make me feel this way.

His right arm falls away from the hardwood behind me. I’m worried he’ll run, but he surprises me when he wraps his huge, calloused hand around my throat. The rough texture feels amazing against my delicate skin as he presses me into the door even harder. I suck in a breath as the other three guys take a step closer. They haven’t spoken, but they are watching us closely.

His forehead touches mine, and he inhales deeply as he closes his eyes. I arch my body into him. I want him against me, to show him how he makes me feel. But, before I can, he crushes his hot mouth against mine. I gasp, reaching up to his hair and pulling him closer. The hand on my throat tightens, and I let go of his hair, running my hand down his back he grips tighter.

I start seeing stars dancing in the back of my eyes as my skin prickles all over from the lack of oxygen. The feeling is intense, everything is heightened, and I can feel every brush of fabric and his hot breath against my skin. I drop my hand to my side, and he loosens his grip, but only enough that I won’t pass out.

No touching. I understand the warning.

His kiss is vicious, but I take everything he has to give as he claims me. His body presses hard against mine, and I flatten my palms against the door to stop myself from touching him. I can feel how hard he is all over, his cock pressing against my belly through his shorts. I press myself into him, rubbing myself against his hardness.

He groans and pulls back, his eyes clear now. His hand still grips my throat as he breathes heavily. It’s like he realizes only now that we have an audience. I almost forgot, myself. He spins and sees the three others standing there.

He staggers away from me, his hand dropping, and I instantly miss his touch. He lets out a strangled roar and runs to the back door.

I let out a ragged breath and slump against the door. I’m cold without Roman’s touch, and with Hunter and Grady staring at me like I’m some kind of circus freak, I feel vulnerable and naked. I never let myself feel this way. I never want to feel this way in front of anyone, especially them. I choose strength every day I wake up. But now…I know I need to be strong, so I can brush off any insults they throw my way about what just happened.

Except, I can’t always be strong. Sometimes, I have to let my guard down and be seen. And right now, I want to be seen. I want them to see that I’m hurting without them in my life.

“Are you okay, Mila?” Hunter is the first to come to me, his hands hovering over my throat.

Jace runs to the back door, but the action is delayed, like he’s chasing after a ghost. Unsure if he wants to catch it, but he doesn’t want to let it get away either.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just need some clothes.” I shiver under his gaze.

Hunter takes a step back and yanks his tee over his head. I lift my arms as he puts it on for me. When my head pops out and I brush my hair back, he smiles down at me. The soft fabric flops down to the middle of my thighs.

“What the hell was that?” Jace questions as he walks over to me, looking over me the same as Hunter just did. I think he is asking himself more than me, because I’m just as clueless about what happened “Roman kissed me?” I reply as the silence stretches out, unsure if it’s the right thing to say.

Jace lets out a strange laugh and runs his hands through his hair. He isn’t looking at me now. He’s in his own mind.

Hunter wraps his arm around me and leads me over to the couch. “Yeah, but…Roman never kisses?” He sounds like he’s unsure if it’s a question or a statement.

“He did then.” I chuckle lightly, trying to break the tense atmosphere in the room. Grady brings me a tall glass of water, and I take it from him with a, “Thanks.”

“Mila, are you really okay?” Grady asks me, and I nod. I can still feel where Roman’s fingers held my throat. I never thought I would like something like that, but I do.

“I have never seen Roman kiss, hug…hell, even touch a girl,” Jace says. “I questioned his sexuality once. I just wanted him to know that it was okay if he likes guys. That he was my friend either way. I didn’t want him to have to hide that part from me if he was, you know?”

My mouth drops open. He’s never seen Roman kiss a girl? Because, holy hotness, that kiss was epic. There is no way he hasn’t been kissing…someone.

“What did he say, about the guys?” Because that kiss certainly felt like he’s into me. I could feel how much he wanted me.

Jace shakes his head and chuckles. “He shoved me and grunted that he likes girls. Told me to leave him alone.”

Everyone laughs at that. That sounds just like Roman. The old Roman, at least. The new one, I’m only starting to scratch the surface, and I have a feeling there are many more layers to Roman Valentine.

“He doesn’t like people touching him. At all. He never lets us touch him, even a pat on the back after a good game. He flinches away.”

I’d touched his face…but he didn’t let me touch his hair or body. He made that very clear when he squeezed my throat tighter in warning.

I’m surprised no one has asked what set Roman off in the first place. I guess, with me down here in my underwear and Jace in boxers, they could guess something happened.

Roman had caught me with Jace.

Hunter, Jace, and Grady had watched as Roman kissed me like I was his last meal.

And now Hunter has me curled up against him, Jace sits beside us, and Grady is watching us like he’s the fourth wheel.

I shake my head. It’s too early in the day to wrap my head around this. I’m hungry and exhausted. I need to go home, shower, and change. Get freshened up. I clear my throat.

“I broke your pact.

”