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Here is Aairah's pov- you guys were going crazy so here it goes!!ð«£
I was scrolling through my phone, acknowledging the feedback I was getting, on a book I recently published, a grin appeared on my face, my heart felt satisfied. Seeing the appreciation, with an overwhelming feeling, I kept my phone in my black handbag, and watched the surroundings from the window.
The cars passing by, people moving casually on the footpath, their lives moving smoothly like a usual day. As we halted at a signal I noticed a small boy of 8 years selling pink tulips, he stod of front my car mirror, I smiled at him and rolled down the window.
"kaise de rahe hai yeh app?" I asked him politely, he told me the price and he was selling a single rose for two hundred, and he had so many I am sure none had bought them, and I felt so bad for him.
"Sare dedo" I asked him, handing him a two thousand rupees note, and there a priceless grin appeared on his face, which made me smile as well.
I took the tulips from him, placed them on my lap staring at them, my fingers tracing them softly, My husband's favorite.
"Unhone tulips bahut pasand hai, unko barish bahut achi lagti hai, laal unka favorite color hai, sara ghar chai ka deewana hai or unko coffee pasand hai, Aur har jo cheez unhe pasand hai wou mein apna chuki hoon, 2 salon se, bas ab unse waisi mohabat ka intezaar hai, jesi mein karti hoon unse.
Isi umeed mein is rishte ko mene sambhala hai, I know he is reserved, quiet, and cold from outside but I know he is soft from inside as well.
We don't held long conversations like the rest of the couples, don't share the happiness together, he does treat me well, but he doesn't give me the attention which I want from him, the love I need from him, he don't really talks to me, I'm not sure if he is shy or not able to handle me anymore, is he tired of me, does my presence bother him.
But it's not his fault he never kept me in the dark . He already informed me, before we get tied into this relationship.
I still remember that day when I got his proposal, I was so happy, I almost fainted because of happiness, because he was my crush from college days, he was my best friend's brother, and I was sure she made it happen.
Flashback.
I was beaming as Hayaan asked me to meet him before we proceed further, I was almost ready wearing his favorite color Red dress, it was a chiffon simple long frock, paired up with the same churidar, and an organza dupatta completing my look, I have opened my hair, wearing silver jhumkas, my favorite.
"Bas karde behen bhai ko pasand ajayegi tu" Mahira mocked me, none other than my best friend and hayaan only sister, I turned my head glared at her, as she was laying on my bed scrolling through her phone.
"Shutup Mahi I am stressed here, Mein tou itni khoobsurat bhi nahi hoon, agar unhon ne mujhe reject kardiya tou" I told her throwing my worries out, I know Mahira give them idea for this alliance.
And we being the upper-middle-class family it's already a huge cleft, and to add more we have 6 years age gap, and on the top of that he is very Handsome, the aura he has screams perfectionist, just like a fictional male lead of books, I don't know if he will accept me or not, because as much I have heard he was not interested in even getting married which is why he is single till now, the only positive thing is that somehow our mother were friends they know each other from school, but they lost contact.
"Shut up Aairah, stop stressing yourself, bhai aise nahi hain unka nature bahut alag hai, unko bahir Ki nakli khoobsurati se Ziada andar ki sachii khoobsurati pasand hai, wou Tumhare jaisi hai life partner deserve karte hai, Aur tum bahut pyari ho samjhii, tumhare photo dekhte he unhon ne tujhe milne ke liye bulaya, i am sure even he likes you" She chided walking towards me holding my shoulders and put some sense in my mind.
"Fine I get it" I said, taking a deep breath and turned to check out myself again in the mirror anxiously, applying gloss on my lips, I was about to blush but Mahira snatched the brush from my hand.
"Pehle he tum Pathan ho, itne laal cheeks hai tumhare natural, don't put this and go now, bhai hate late comers" She glared at me, I open my mouth wide, as I checked the time, I quickly gave her a hug before walking out of my room.
"My daughter look so beautiful" My mother gushed over me cupping my cheek, she quickly placed dupatta on her head, reciting some prayers she below over me, I smile at her, kissed her cheek muttering "Allah hafiz"
I parked the car outside the restaurant to which he sent me an address. I never thought I would be meeting the person I love, I could feel myself getting nervous, my heart was about to come out, I took a deep breath.
"Ya Allah meri madad Kariye ga, please wou mujhse pehle ne bethen hon" I murmured silently praying, as I got out of the car, noticed a black Royal Royce, and range rover, with four huge men standing.
Acknowledging everything I walked inside with baby steps and spotted him sitting already, talking over the phone, in his white shirt and blue waist coat with matching panda all the courage I gained vanished instantly.
Kya zaroorat hai inko itna Acha lagne kii
I somehow composed myself, hiding my inner turmoil, setting my dupatta on my head. I walked near him, his attention fell on me, he got up from his seat, and I noticed his jacket laying on the other chair.
"I will get back at you" His cold voice reached to my ears, he removed his phone from ear, placed it on table, he raised his stare at me for once before removing his eyes.
"Assalam alaikum" I greeted him politely, "Walaikum Salam" His response was short, he gave a nod to me, pulled a chair beside me.
"Take a seat" He said in a soft voice, I nodded and sat opposite him, he pushed the glass of water into my direction, as he must have felt I was turned red, his presence is making me nervous, it's embarrassing.
"Sorry I was late" I apologized to start a conversation, because he was quiet, tapping his finger on his phone.
"Don't bother about that" He replied cutting it short, I was surprised, he seemed to be quite, he didn't even held conversation, then why did he invite me here.
"What would you like to have?" He asked me as the waiter approached us.
"Whatever you like" I blurted out, He raised his brows in surprise across his face, I took the water and gulped nervously wishing the earth to swallow me.
Shit so embarrassing.
"I mean whatever you order it will be fine with me" I correct myself, placing the glass on the table, he gives a nod to me, and starts telling the order to the waiter but my eyes stay at him in admiration .
We were here to talk but I am feeling scared and nervous to even speak. All that i have heard about him was making me frightened, that he was dangerous, arrogant, As more a looked at him I, and instantly felt intimidated by his personality.
But still I admired him after all he was
my crush from university days and I didn't know when I fell in love with him for a year. And I prayed to god that if he is not my destiny then remove him from my heart, but I was never able to remove affection for him, And now I got his proposal.
I am so happy to tie a knot with him, she opened her mouth to speak but he said the words which made my heart break into pieces, my face lose all of its colors .
"Look before you take any decision, I want you tell you something, this marriage is a shocker for me, I was not interested in getting married, I am doing this only for my family, but still I want to gave this marriage a chance, I will give you respect, I will be loyal to you, I will put my trust in you, I will handle all the responsibility of a husband but Mujhse Mohabbat ki umeed mat kariye ga, wou mein apko nahi depaunga, or soch samjh kar faisla lena, kyunke humare khandan me talaaq nai hota, ek baar apne haan kardi tou inkar nai karsakti app."
He completed, clearing out his side of story, His tone was soft but held dominance. I felt weak, my eyes turned glossy, but I controlled my tears, I need to clear this out.
"Ap kisi or ko pasand karte hain?" I questioned him, scared.
"Aise nahi Hain, I don't have time for this love and relationships, na mujhe mohabbat karni hai or na mujhe kabhi kisi mohabbat hogi, Mein Sara wakt kaam Mein Nikalta hai, or jo baki hai woh meri family se sath but as my family put this proposal in front of me, and I feel that you are perfect girl for my family, and I'm sure you will handle the responsibility of a wife perfectly as well, you are capable enough, you will handle my family, you have all the qualities that my family wanted, but I don't want to give you fake hopes, I wanted this relationship to start with sincerity, so the decision is all yours" He illustrated for me, putting his point crystal and clear, his each work fell like a needle on me, I was so confused at the moment I didn't know what to answer him.
"I need time to think about this" I whispered, somehow composing myself, all the bubbles of happiness popped, an uncomfortable feeling settling in my stomach, I was putting together my thoughts, if I said yes, am I ready to accept it all, ready to deal with the feelings and emotions all alone.
"Ap jitna wakt chahe le sakti hai, Mujhe pata hai yeh sab responsibility-
"Mujhe qubool hai" I cutted him in between and he snapped his head shocked, I gazed at him, he was already looking at me with his brown eyes, my stomach flipped at the mere stare of him.
After thinking about it, I come into a conclusion, doesn't matter if he doesn't love me, my love will be enough for us, and in a relationship for me trust and loyalty respect held more power then love, and if he is ready to give me all this, then why should I let him go just because he doesn't have feelings for me, maybe in future he also get the same love for me.
"Agar aapko yeh rishta manzoor hai toh mujhe bhi aap qubool hain" He whispered placing his hand on the top of my which was resting on the table, and his mere touch give me jitters, I was starlet, I could feel my heart skipped a beat, as he blinked his eyes, I felt my cheeks getting warm, I put my head down, he removed his hand leaving the empty feeling inside me.
-
That was 6 months ago, and still I am living in hope, or am I in the delusion that he will ever love me back, we share the bed, but not our emotions, we live like strangers inside the room.
Everyone thinks we are happy, like all the other couples, but they don't know what I'm feeling, all these months I'm handling this relationship alone on my shoulders. Sometimes I feel tired, I feel like a burden is on me.
But I'm still hopeful that maybe someday it will happen, which I have wished for so long.
"Maam we have reached" The driver informed me getting me out of my thoughts, I widened my eyes, I don't why I get so scared from he doesn't even scream at me but his whole demeanor is intimidating, I took a deep breath and reciting prayers silently, walked inside his office.
-
"Aesthetics"
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