Chapter 14: chapter 14

Isabelle's Pov-I asked Anita that can I make dinner for me and Engi. She said it's okay. So I entered the kitchen. It was beautiful, I made red beans and rice. Engi was watching TV in the hall. The hall was in front of the kitchen so I could see Engi clearly from here.There was a delivery at the door. One of the guys took it but there were many boxes of it. They opened it. Ben called me. I saw that there were many things in it. All for kids. Who ordered it? Maybe Anita, because only she could be this considerate about us."Who ordered it?" Ben asked the same question."It's from Xavier. He ordered it this morning." Anita replied.I don't believe it. How can a rude person like him, come up with something like this?Engi excitedly opened everything. We were playing with it when he entered.My heart... Why it is making so much noise? Please, you should stop. You can't feel this happy feeling by seeing some other man.Xavier didn't make any eye contact. He straight away went into his room. I should go and thank him. I haven't thanked him for saving us.*******When I entered his room. The first thing I noticed was that he was half-naked. Second, that he was a very muscular and sexy man, and last, which caught my eyes, was a tattoo.A tattoo of Falcon. Falcon is a noble bird. Which is a symbol of vision? I think it's a perfect tattoo to define Xavier and his position.In a short time, I got this much, that Xavier is an organized man. Talking about him feels like I'm talking about a whole organization. He is a good leader. Everyone listens to him. Obey him. Not because he is powerful but because he takes care of everyone. Because he is good at what he does. These men can do anything for him.After today's conversation with Anita, I see him in a different light.I didn't know, when I get close to him and when I started tracing that Falcon tattoo of his.I broke through my thoughts when a hand grabbed mine and pulled me in front. My eyes widened. I still didn't look him in the eyes but was looking at his chest.What is he doing to me? I should run away from here. It's too dangerous to stay for a second here.I never knew a man's body really looks this muscular. I thought only actors in movies make this kind of body. But in movies too, I never saw a perfect body like his."I never saw a man's body up this close." I whispered truthfully.I know it's not possible but that's the truth. Richard and my relationship was nothing like that. And now it's been more than 4 years that I even saw his face.Xavier took my one hand in his and put it on his heart. His heart was beating very fast. I feel relaxed knowing that I'm not the only one feeling like this. Suddenly he put his one hand on my cheek and his second hand was holding mine. He started making circles with his thumb on my hand. Every inch of my body was reacting his touches.No one ever did that to me. No one ever touched my cheeks so delicately. This gesture is new to me and his hand was so warm and strong. His hand was large that my whole face fitted with it perfectly.I leaned in his hand. Taking whatever love and affection I was getting. I don't know if there is any love in my future. But as he was caressing me, I feel loved. For the first time in my life, I felt the love of a man.He rested his forehead on mine. My eyes were closed. Savoring this moment in my heart."Isabelle " He said my name in such a way.My breath stopped for seconds. I took a deep breath when I felt the desperate need for oxygen in my body.I never thought my name could sound this sensuous. From his lips, my name sounded so beautiful.While thinking, I was looking at his lips. I wanted him to say my name again. He has full lips. I wanted to feel them. I was about to touch his lips when I saw something, a shiny thing on my ring finger. A wedding band.My wedding band. I'm married.I chocked on my breath. I was trying to breathe but nothing was passing into my lungs. My head started spinning. I stepped away from him. "I'm married" I whispered looking in his eyes.He took a step towards me, saying "It's okay. You didn't...." Is it really okay? How could this be okay? I'm married and still standing in front of a half-naked stranger.A stranger, who cares for me more than my abusive husband. I thought.No, I can't defend myself. This is wrong in every way. I am still married.Yes, married to a man, who practically raped you in the name of marriage. My subconscious mind was shouting at me."I've married, Xavier. I can't do this. I should not be near any other man, except for my husband. And see, what the hell I was doing. How could I... How could I be so disgusting."And I know, you are too. You are disgusted with me. Right?I wanted to him this, but I stopped myself.Now he surely will think of me as a cheater. I could never even dream about doing something like this in my wildest dream but I have done it. How could I be so cheap? Is it really me? Am I that desperate for love?I didn't notice that I was crying. I dried my eyes and told him why I came here."I came here to thank you for what you did for Engi. The toys and all." I stopped for a few seconds. "Xavier, I'm not... I'm not this type of woman. I'm not a cheater or cheap like this. I don't know how this ..... happened. I don't know what got into me, so please, Xavier, please don't think of me as a bad girl, who cheats. I'm sorry."  I can't stop myself without trying to explain, that I'm not a cheap girl.My heart was in pain because of so many emotions I'm holding behind. I can't let my emotions control my mind.I walked out of his room as fast as I could. I wanted to run far away from him but at the same time, I wanted to be near to him, again. Very near.What the hell I'm thinking. It's a sin... I'll go to hell for what I'm feeling. God is going to punish me. But still, why this all feels so right. Being near him. Thinking about him, about his touch, his voice, his lips...... ugh I have to control myself.I'll never go near him. I'll ignore him as much as I can. I don't want to be in this mess again.Anyways, he is a criminal. I should not be thinking of him. He is not a decent person. He is the reason for all of my problems.What bullshit I'm talking about. He is doing everything to save me and my daughter. And my life was always a mess.I walked into something very hard. When I looked at it, it was a door.When did this door shift here?Now I'm talking to myself. Am I'm going crazy. My actions in his room show how crazy I'm becoming. "It was always there, dear. You were just walking without looking." a voice came from the other side.Anita was standing near the door. She was laughing at me. She told me to have dinner together.******************Hello lovelies.That's all for this chapter.To find out more...Stay tuned.Love you all.