Chapter 33: chapter 33

Xavier's POV-My body felt heavy and heart heavier. I was feeling so helpless. I could not point out which of my body part was aching. I was feeling suffocated.I somehow dragged myself out of the house and into my car. I need to get the hell out of here. Her smile, her laugh, her crying, this house was reminding me everything second I spent with her here. I was going to my office. Maybe I could stop thinking of them if I start working. I doubt, that it will help though. I reached the office, Ohio was already there. I went into my cabin without returning any greeting that was given to me. Ohio followed me in my office. He didn't let me say anything and blasted on me."If you were going to behave like this, then you should not have let her go with her husband." He shouted in frustration."Don't talk to me in that tone. Don't forget I still am the Boss here." I said threateningly. I respect him but I won't stand if anyone talked to me in that tone. He calmed down. He knows when to back off. He stood straight. "You should understand that you are the boss. You can't regret your decisions. Don't forget everyone has eyes on you. One moment of weakness and they will start thinking that they can take you down." He reminded me. He was right but I don't want him to remind me of the life I live in. With that said he left the office.I don't regret my decision because that was the only option. It's not like I could stop her, even if her husband is here to take her.I can't force her to stay with me because I need her. Obviously, she would go with her husband than stay here with an outlaw like me. The problem is I could not control the emotions that are going through me right now. I don't know what to do with these unsettled emotions.I was so confused. I could not change anything now that she is already left. So got myself busier than usual. I stayed in the office for the whole day and night. I didn't let myself get free for one second. I ate while reading some documents. I didn't remember when it was past 12 in the night, I was still working."Xavier, save me... Xavier, please... come soon." I stumbled from my seat. I corrected myself. I guess I fall asleep. It was a dream. A very scary dream. She was in danger. But it was just a dream. I tried to console myself and get busy with work again. But I could not ignore the feeling of uneasiness from my heart so I called one of my men."Yes, boss," Rocky replied. I could hear a woman's moan from the other side. He must be with his woman."I want you to go and watch over Isabelle's house. See if there is something unusual going on there." I ordered him."Boss, it's 3 am. Do you really want me to go there right now?" He asked. "You know I don't like to repeat myself and it's not like I disturbed your sleep. Get up and report me as you reach there." I answered his question."Yes, boss." I could hear the hustling noise. It meant, he got on his duty.Actually, a doubt is coming into my mind aging and again. The day before yesterday when I met Letty, she said something about letting her go and live her own life, and coincidentally that same day Isabelle's husband appeared out of nowhere.It is too much for a coincidence. It was like, it was planned. Because when that Richard told me he wants my girls back, Letty's words were going on in my head. Whatever the hell is this, I don't care. I just want them both to be happy. It doesn't matter where they are.If it doesn't matter then why your heart is bleeding, Xavier? You know you can't be okay without them. You can't ignore this pain.Something in me was yelling at me for letting them go. My head was heavy.It was 5 am and I was wide awake. I closed my eyes. The look on her face when she saw me for the first time, I remember it. When she looked at those hopeful eyes when I saved her from those guys who kidnapped her and the Princess, I remembered how proud I felt that time.When I called the school principal for my princess's admission, I felt like a parent myself. I loved that feeling.I started to feel that they are mine to protect for life. I believed that she is mine to love forever.My eyes widened. I could hear my heartbeat in my ear.What the hell? What love? Are you out of your mind? It was just the feeling to protect them. That's all. Get your head straight.No... How the f*ck, I could be so coward? Why can't I face my own feelings? When I know exactly how I feel for her. Then why it is so hard to say it?But saying it out loud will make it real. If I admitted to it then I could not go back after that. But I do feel that way. Is it a sin? I mean she is married. But it was not in my hand to stop it or to think before it happened. They say no one can control whom they love. Right?There I go with love again. If by just thinking about it making my heartbeat go crazy l, then what will happen to me if I told someone else about it.And if I confessed to her...I suddenly get out of my seat. I got all sweaty. I paced back and forth in front of my table. I had my head in my hand. Unwillingly her images were coming in front of my eyes. The memories of her sitting on that sleeping chair, out under the moon, my arms around her. That would have been a perfect moment to confess.I put both of my fists on the table. The stupid smile was not leaving my face. Blood was rushing through my face. It cant be... I cant be blushing like a chick. What the hell is wrong with me? I am the boss. THE BOSS. I slapped myself. If anyone saw me like this they will think I am dying for sure. I controlled my breathing. I closed my eyes. I saw the moment she left the house and me, forever. All happiness and excitement I was feeling a moment ago, vanished in thin air.I could never confess to her because she is with someone else.**************Hello, lovelies. How the chapter?It was a long-awaited chapter. Hope you enjoyed it.See you guys soon.