Kai
"Why's everyone acting weird?" I ask both Charlie and Liara as we walk through the hall of students with their faces each facing towards us, or was it towards me?
Charlie looks around to see what was so funny or at least so and there was nothing that was weird about us. "Don't know, seems that we're the talk of the school?"
"More like the elephant in the room... and I don't wanna be an elephant!" Liara chimed in, walking with her hands on the straps of her bag pack while looking around to see what was actually going on.
"No way! Elephants are like the coolest thing to walk on Earth! How can you not be one?" Charlie argued with Liara, having her to like at him with an unamused side-eye.
She then starting to bicker with him. Throwing words of 'compliment' I would rather say. But things with those two aren't just gonna tell us why everyone's eyes are on us. Until when we reach my locker I saw something hideous, something that made my tummy rumble with puke ready to spill out. "Guys! Shut up!" I hissed, walking towards my locker with steps that took my life away pieces by pieces.
When I reach my locker, I was baffled. In my head, I thought that I was screwed up. That this is the last time that people would look up to me. My life had been fucked over in one single second and I could not do anything that can make it go away either than be silence. Both of my friends came up to my side, with faces that were similar to mine.
"What? Kai?" Charlie asked suddenly.
"Oh, shit...," Liara gasped, with a hand on her mouth.
The truth was out, and he wasn't there.
My body jolts up from the bed with sweats running down my forehead and down to my neck that soaked the entire collar of my clothes. I look to the side of my nightstand to see the alarm that kept singing an awful melody. My eyes can't help but just look at the blaring alarm with my mind thinking of the dream that came to me like a rushing train. I was totally scared now. To think that it was just a dream can't be possible, it could be a message. A warning. A sign. I need to find Stan.
With all the strength I had that morning, I pushed the alarm button and made my way to the showers. In the showers, I couldn't help myself but think of what happened. Should I come to school today? Should I just hide here in my room? But what if I'm overthinking this? It was just a mind game. But why would it happen now? Maybe all along I was scared from the first place?
Once I got off the showers, I quickly got ready and go down to have a quick breakfast. But truth to be told, I wasn't having any appetite for breakfast.
Mom noticed me walking down the stairs and put up her bright smile as usual. "Good morning, honey. Come, I make some pancakes. Your father's here too, let's eat together," Dad? This was unusual than I thought. I walk slowly to the dining room, looking at both my parents who looked normal as ever but yet today, it was different.
I sat down on the chair and take one piece of pancake.
"Only one? You love pancakes, take some more. I made a lot for today," Mom said, giving me another three. I could only nod at her, I just had nothing to say.
"I hope you're having a great time at school," Dad spoke, his eyes now look at me. I gulped, trying real hard to smile. Maybe today was the last time I lived. Who knows?
I rub my sweaty hands on my pants, making sure to not look obviously anxious. "It's great, dad. Grades doing good... joined in some activities... I study lesser but I think I could handle that-,"
"No... I meant I wanna know about life. Save the grade bull later," He cuts in.
"Well, I-,"
"Do you have a girlfriend? A boyfriend?"
Wait? What?
"I... have to go. Charlie's waiting for me," I said abruptly, getting off from the table and zoom off to the front door. What was going on?!
-
The whole ride to school with Charlie was terribly quiet. I can't even stand the atmosphere when Charlie tried to be quiet. He clearly has something to say, and he was holding back his mouth from spitting out any words. It was making me insane.
"Are you okay, Charlie?" I asked him, finally had enough of the silence from the brown-haired boy. If kept continuing this act, I might not ride his car ever again.
"I'm fine,"
"Are you sure?" I asked again, poking in further into his skin.
He scoffs all of a sudden, which makes me even more nervous. What was wrong with him? Today was not my day, I was sure of it.
Since that, I stop asking him questions. I got to let it go somehow, maybe then he can open up by himself. Leaning down my seat, I look outside the window to keep my brain company. I can have many thoughts running through my mind but if I could try to focus on something that was nature itself, it really helps with making it go away. My morning had been utterly weird. If I could, I rather stay in bed right now.
Once we arrived at school, I take a turn to get outside the car but Charlie stops me by locking the door automatically. I scrunched my eyebrows together, then turn to face Charlie with a questioning look.
"Charlie, open the door-,"
"How long have you been with Stan?" He asked as quickly as possible.
My eyes widen, the fear rushing through my face. All the blood that gave my cheeks a red hue now turn into a pale blue complexion.
I smile nervously. "Charlie, w-what are you talking about?" I stuttered.
"Stop lying, Kai! I saw you with Stan outside the restaurant," He snapped. He didn't look mad. Hell, Charlie was bad at getting mad. He just looks disappointed.
I sighed. Maybe today was the last time for me after all. "Since March...,"
"Three months?!"
"Charlie-,"
"Three months! And you didn't even tell me about it! Dude, I'm your best friend! How come Liara knows?!" He bellowed, startling me and having me backing up away from him. Okay, I take it back, he was good at getting mad. I get where he was coming from but I didn't know that he was that okay with gay people.
I rubbed my hands down my face. "Charlie... I'm sorry. I didn't know that you were okay with it,"
"I am okay with it,"
"Yeah, now I know you extremely okay with it. Liara just happens to know just by looking at me and Stan. You... you act so cluelessly sometimes that I hate to break it out for you. So I let it be. I'm not ready to open up yet. Please understand me...,"
He nodded in the end. It calms me down now that I know what was going on with him. Plus, it made me realize that I need to take it somewhere else with Stan. Being out in public is hard enough for other people. Yet again us.
Once that commotion was out of the way, we made our way into the school. With every step that I take forward, I thought about the dream that I had this morning. Would people see me weirdly?
Liara then came into view, and she immediately came towards us, with a happy smile on her face and her hair tied in a ponytail. She had a glow to her today, I guess something good happens for her. Whatever it is, good for her then.
Charlie rushed up against her, with a finger pointing towards her harshly. "You!"
"What? What did I do?" The girl asked dumbfounded.
"You know what you did, you sneaky cat,"
"Guys! Guys! Cut it out. Everyone's watching," Once I said those words, it dawns to me that it doesn't matter what the scenario is if people are watching... then...
"Shit!" I ran away from the two and headed as fast as I can to my locker. My feet were taking big steps that I never often do before. I was burning with anxiousness, worry, concerns of what might come to me and my relationship. I never think of who would do such things because that's not the point, the point here is that if I wanna come out, I wanna do it properly. Not by being shamed.
Every step I take was nerve-racking.
Every breath I take was enough to know that I was beyond scared.
And every sweat that drops from my forehead clearly shows I was not ready to be a disgrace.
When I reached my locker, I saw it. I saw the thing that made me worry all the entire morning. The thing that made me curse out of being uneasy of this day. That made today feels different from any other day.
I saw nothing.
There was nothing at all.
Pure untouched locker.
Both Charlie and Liara came to me with concern. "What's going on?" Liara asked, looking from Charlie then at me. I look around to see that everyone else wasn't paying attention to us at all. I got chills of how the different it was.
My back leans on the locker with a loud slump. I took deep breaths, one to replace the wasted ones for me to get here in a dash. What was it with that dream? It wasn't the same but it feels like something was going to happen. Although I didn't remember what was there on my locker, I remember how bad I felt. It twisted my guts that I felt frozen. It's like I couldn't breathe and move. I hated that feeling.
Out of nowhere, Stan came. He looked handsome as usual.
"Hey Kai, what's with the stressed look?" He asked, glancing from each of the three of us.
"This dude here run all the way from the main door to here for nothing, that's why," said the male with the brown curly hair. Liara then nudges his shoulder. "Suck it up, maybe he's searching for something,"
"Oh...," Stan cooed, looking at me with a concerned look. I glance at him with a weak smile. There was no denying that he would force the worry out of me later. With the two starting to bicker with each other, I hold my gaze onto him. I want him to know just from how I look that I was terrified of something. Something that could potentially make us crumble apart.
Thereupon, the bell rings.
- - -