Kai
School hallways were as crowded as ever whenever school was on... basically. The big butts of these students were making the narrow hallway cramped. My gut could not stand it when a lot of people were taking too much space in a place where ten people could barely fit in. Well not that I meant that place to be that small but honestly, people need to just move and give me some space as well as when astronauts go to space for space. Get it?
Charlie and I made it to school right on time, and we have about three minutes left before the school assembly starts. What made it hard to get to that assembly within those three minutes was, in fact, these people here. They just can't move an inch. However, I, without having no care at all, I pushed through the crowded area to get to the other side of the hallway. Charlie was following behind, we were in the same homeroom together so that makes it easy for us to go to school together? Or was it that I was too lazy to walk to school? Wait, oh yeah, I woke up late. Pardon me.
Either way, we had gone to this school together and well, made bittersweet memories through that lane. The school was the perfect personification to describe 'freedom' that is stuck between the bars of a cage when it had the chance to be free. That in which you are able to be yourself here but at the same time, there's a still a part of you that is secretly hiding from the public eye. For example... me. There was a part of me that just could not be seen by the people around me since if they knew, I would immediately be an outcast to society. Tragic? That was an abomination I could never get away from.
I could never really say to anyone about that part of me. It would take someone that I really, extremely really trust to even listen to that side of me that I had no control over. People could ultimately say that that was just a phase, or I was acting trifles towards my feelings. Or they could say that I have never been in a relationship which made me that way. Which in fact made them wronger than how wrong I was when I answered the teacher that Pluto is still a planet. I still think it is though.
I like girls, I do. That was a part of me which I was brave enough to tell people. How realistic it was for someone like me to have. It was like being carried proudly by your supporters when you score the man of the match in soccer or just being proud by when you act that certain way which was: Straight.
So what could I say about that? Nothing. I have no say of what I had in my heart nor in my mind. If it were concerning of something that includes my studies, yeah, that I have free will to say anything. But then again, I feel that my life is being planned two years ahead of me than what I want it to be. That would include where I was going to study after graduation, what course I would take, who I will marry... It came to the point wherein the end, I had too much of what I was going to have. Now... would I break the rules of the expected?
That reminds me back to the guy that Charlie and I met before back at my house. Stan. That was a familiar name in my ears. Yet again, I rarely heard that name before even being used by someone. The way he did not care that he was late to school was enough to show how rebellious he was for his life. For his choices. The joy of being young and living life to the way he desires. Mysterious enough, he never even noticed me back in the car. Was I too overshadowed by Charlie or was his eyes did not care to look at me? It made me feel that my presence was unworthy for someone and that made me sick. As much I admit that I was shy, I love it when people look my way. Bad thing, I know. But mysterious enough, he seems like a 'stay at home, locked in his bedroom' person, when really he looked like a rebel ran amok at a public gathering. Gosh! That would look so angsty and hot.
Walking into the big hall for the assembly by the last minute, I nudged Charlie's shoulder. He glances at me with one brow cocked upwards while we take our seats in our respective homeroom line. "Yeah, why did you nudge me?" He asked me back, putting down his backpack on the shiny floor illuminated by the bright lights above us.
I bit my lip in worry if my question sounds a bit weird but I went ahead with it. "How'd you know that guy earlier? Not that I care... but he seems new... to me?" I asked, looking sideways as the door to the hall was being entered by a list of students.
"You mean Stan Malik?" Oh... so that's his full name.
"Uh-huh," I nodded.
He played with his lips as he tries to figure out the answer to my question. Not that I wanted one but it would be nice to have an answer as to why I was not knowing some people in my life who lived close to me.
"Well... we played a game together before. I saw that he plays Dangerz on the other day and yeah, I asked him if he wanted to play together, and he got in," answered the brown-haired male as the principal was now getting onto the stage. Hearing his words as it is, I had no questions left because if I do, he would start questioning me for my questions.
Sitting criss-cross on the floor, I put my head onto the palm of my right hand as I had my head slanted to the right slightly while waiting for the other people to take their places and start this assembly as soon as possible. Even if I was late, the people here were slower in terms of getting things done. Charlie sat on my right, he was minding his own business with his phone. The beginning of this day was really slow as I realize how the time was only seven in the morning. I took the privilege of looking around the hall as students and teachers were taking their places.
What I did not realize were the eyes that were on me as I turn to look to my left. The same dark eyes that didn't notice me before seem to be noticing me now. It was only three seconds that I look at said eyes and immediately, I glance back to the front. Taking interest in what the principal was talking, I ignored the unnerving feeling that makes my tummy growls. I was hungry, that was for sure. I was REALLY hungry. Starving to my death that I hadn't realized it was the same feeling I got for when I had my first crush... on a guy.
Feeling that the eyes would be gone now, I glance back slowly to the same direction where the eyes were at. But my point was proven wrong as the same eyes kept looking my way for more than those three seconds I counted. What was he looking at? Me or the person beside me? I look to my left to see anyone else but it was only Charlie to my side. Would it be that he wanted to call Charlie?
After a few minutes, I felt that he was not looking at me anymore, so I turn to look at him. To take the chance to take in his face for more than three seconds. It took three seconds to have weird hungry feeling in your stomach but it took five seconds more to have it turn into more than hunger. A feeling of course.
He was five feet apart from where I was, but I could see clearly into his dark orbs. My cheeks slowly grew upwards as I smile subtly by the look on his face. He looked so lost but amazed somehow of something. It was adorable to see how someone so mysterious as he is, to be awed at something. I kept looking at him longer than those seconds. It felt like minutes now. I couldn't contain the smile on my face as he kept on looking but at this moment, I think that was enough of staring at each other, or me staring at the male. It was either him being the creep or me. Give or take.
I turn away to look down on my lap. My mind began to think of why the recent scene happened. It was another thing about me that I had no control of, overthinking my brain to exhaustion. But I push the thoughts away for another time as I tried to focus on what was being said by the principal talking.
Glancing a bit to the left, I check to see if the same set of eyes were still looking.
And yes, still, but with a small smile this time.
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