The words lingered around, not even making sense.
He...
He-
What?
Brett let out a breathy laugh. "There, I've said it." The look in his electric blue eyes so raw, tender and ravishing... and he didn't took them off mine, making it even harder to focus on this little fantasy I'd suddenly stepped into.
First he said he'd wanted me... Now liked me? Was I dreaming or something?
Like me! Nah he couldn't.
No. He didn't just said that. It made no sense...
Maybe I understood him wrong? He couldn't like me, right? I felt like I just entered some kind of alternative universe. Some universe where Brett was nervous and sweet and he likes me. Someone pinch me!
"Say something, please." it came out as a hesitant smile but even through it I could see how shaken he waiting for my response... any response to the bomb he just dropped.
But what was I supposed to say?!
"I..." words failed me. And how could they not when I wasn't even sure I was processing it all correctly?
The flash of insecurity and hurt that crossed his gaze before lowering it was like a pang to my chest. My already messed up chest. "I get it if you want me to leave you alone now. Especially after how I'd treat you."
Shivers burned everywhere when his hands absently slid; from my thighs around my hips and up my spine, creating goosebumps all the way, making it hard for me to focus on his words. His body was openly contradicting what his lips were pronouncing. What do you do when someone you've liked since you got memory told you to leave them but act as if you're his anchor? I certainly didn't know.
Brett took in a shaky breath as I still struggling to come out with a reaction. Anything! But my body felt limp, inwardly it was a whole different story.
"I wouldn't blame you if you shut me down again but... I've been feeling this for a while now and everyone was telling me to let it out so I... " his eyes met mine again and my heart somesaulted. "I thought it would be a good if- If..."
"Y-you like me?" I finally found my voice -kinda, not getting over my shock. It tasted weird in my tongue, the meaning in those words. Unbelievable. Not wanting to make a fool out of myself and assuming what I was assuming, I decided to make sure. "As a friend?"
His immediate scoff got my pulse rushing in my ears. "No, Alyson. Not as a friend. Not only at least."
Too much. I shook my head, afraid of believing him.
This couldn't be happening. There must be some kind of misunderstanding. This was one of those moment where I would kill to have a controler to put life on a pause, unable to process everything rushing in my mind.
"A-and Jade?" I cringed just mentioning her, but the images of him kissing her drowned my brain and filled my chest with unease and insecurities.
How can he say he'd liked me for a while? I'd seen them together more than once. Always hanging out, always so perfect... The day Jade and Shannon beat me on the changing room he was there, kissing her on the hallway right after. Forever printed in my nightmares.
My muscles tensed at the memory but it got nothing at how stiff he suddenly became at the mention of the blonde girl. His brows furrowed but he didn't drop his hold around me and I couldn't decide what to feel about it. A part of me felt really self conscious -now that the surprise had lowered a bit-, at the intimate position and closeness, really aware of his firm body against mine; but another part of me was mesmerized by that same fact, enjoying every second. Focus!
"What about Jade?" Brett asked through clenched teeth, snapping me out my daze and making me narrow my eyes.
"You liked her until, what? A few weeks ago?" True that he helped in getting her out Clayton and proved how furious he was with her actions, but the image of them kissing right before I passed out on that hallway was burned in my mind. How could he said he liked me after he'd kissed her like that? After what she did?
My heard shuddered in agony but Brett only looked at me like I'd gone mad, like I was saying the sky was yellow or something. "I'd never liked her."
"Oh, p-please," I scoffed, facing away so my hair fall as a curtain and covered the angry blush of my cheeks. I finally dropped my arms from his shoulders as well, "I saw you kissing that day on the hallway." but any kind of wall I was trying to put between us failed miserably as he still refused to let go. If not, his hands clenched against the fabric of my back, sliding me even closer in his lap. My lungs threatened with collapsing.
"That's not true." he lifted one hand to brush my hair out the way and cupped my face to make me look at him. Damn he was close now. My hands were the only thing preventing our chest to be pressed together. When he tilted his head his breath franned my ear and wave of heat smothered me from inside. "I've only ever wanted you."
I blushed hard, overwhelmed. "B-but I saw you..." I shuddered when I his mouth grazzed my earlobe and stole my protests away, replacing them with chills of pleasure that startled me.
I've never felt something like this.
I gripped his shirt- to push him away or steady myself, that I didn't know.
Brett smirked. "You saw what, uh?" he brushed my hair completely off my shoulder this time but the sense of vulnerability was quickly overpowered by a powerful rush when his tantalizing lips grazed the sensitive skin under my ear for the briefest second, depriving me from the will to move. "You saw her kissing me? She did." his hot mouth pressed the spot, kissing it softy and I shivered. "I pushed her away right after."
He's... lying.
But true is I couldn't really tell. I fainted after that atrocious sight. He could as well be saying the truth. But there were also those other times. I remebered then the first time I caught them at that pool party that ended so bad, and let's not forget that lovely post that got viral on Instagram about them last course's Valentine. Couple goals' material. I still felt how bad it hurt when my heart broke at how cute they were indeed.
As if reading my mind, Brett kept going: "We've literally just kissed four times, and I only initiated one." he kissed under my ear again, making my head spin. "A mistake."
It wasn't real.
I'd always thought they were a couple... They projected that image so well.
But here he was, telling me off that. He'd never liked her. He liked me . And was now making me feel things, physical and emotional things I'd never experienced before that made my toes curl and my heart race.
My mind felt override to properly process it all. Should I stop this? Maybe. It certainly wasn't the best way to get to the point here. But it felt so right...
I felt hot everywhere at the feeling of his solid body flush against mine. His cheek lightly pressed mine, our skins on fire; before Brett tilted his head and letting his lips lingered there on their way down my jaw. "I've always liked you."
Jace words form that night at the bar bordered my memory again. He'd said he dated me to get Brett jealous. Even back then...
My arms tightened around him as my heart sped. Breathing had become a tricky task and I found myself somehow regaining part of my train of thought. Enough to overpower the lovely sensation his attentions woken up and pulled at his hair to detatch his distracting lips form my skin. His eyes found mine the moment he was far enough.
"B-but how?" I stuttered, unable to wrap my head around the fact someone as perfect as Jade didn't pass the test but I somehow did. "You're always getting mad at me. I'm clumsy, and annoying and plain and weird. And I'm always crying. And I look-" I blushed and looked away. Doing a list of all my flaws wasn't exactly the best way to start a day.
"You look what?"
But I shook my head, completely clueless. "How can you l-like me?"
"How am I supposed to know? I just do." he frowned back but something tender and amused swirled behind his orbs as he tilted his head trying to catch my eyes. "You're fun, and sweet and colorful." he remarked the last word, reminding me of what I said a while ago when he said my friends were weird and I corrected him.
His lip tugged at the side as he locked his fingers around one dark strand tucking it behind my ear, leaving a tingling sensation everywhere he grazed.
"What if you cried a lot? As long as it's not because of me I can manage. And you look..." his eyes trailed my face, drinking me in before sliding down my neck and body, heating me all over. My hands fisted instinctibly on his shoulders and then I became damn aware of the lack of space. When his eyes found mine again they held a burning fire on their own. "Beautiful."
The prettiest girl.
I shook my head. "You're being ridiculous."
"Me?"
"Yes, you." but his brows lifted, amused.
"Because I like you?"
"Stop saying it." I grumbled looking down, intimidated and embarrassed, starting to realize this was actually happening.
His smile grew larger and rested his forehead on mine. Our noses brushed as we breathed the same air and I inspired his charming scent. "And why would I do that? I want this to work."
A heavy emotion nested in my chest but I was almost 100% sure it was a good one. Even tho my eyes watered either way. This felt unreal. Like a precious dream that would break at any moment, and I wasn't ready for this sweet Brett to be gone yet. For my Brett to be gone. I just got him back.
Oh my God.
I got my Brett back!
Something in his gaze tugged the strands of my heart and pushing away my trust issues and insecurities, I allowed my arms to circle his neck and leaned my head against his shoulder. It felt weird, familiar yet strange. It felt good. It felt so good to be hugging him after all this time... As if my whole body was melting in order to fit with his.
His hands grabbed the back of my shirt. "Lys-"
"I want this to work too." I found myself mumbling, my head tucked between his and his shoulder, easily fitting there as I snuggled closer, pressing my cheek over his warm skin. There I found myself smiling at the way his breath hitched and how his strong pulse drummed against my ear. "I'm afraid this isn't even real."
"Yeah, me too." As if breaking from a spell, he let out a ragged breath and then his arms gained strenght again, pressing me impossibly closer. It was almost painful but the inner relief and joy the gesture ignite in me was more than enough to take it without complains. He held me like he didn't want to let me go and my heart shuddered. "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too."
He chuckled and rested his cheek on mine, making this felt ten times more intimate. Who would had guessed things would escalate to this with Brett?
I was ready to give him a second chance; but in a matter of minutes we jumped from that to him confessing he liked me, to now that we were completely tangled on my bed. My stomach beamed in excitement.
Dear Lord if Granny see us now...
But the rush of having him back, liking me for some reason and willing to accept me was enough to made me pushed the thought away. I would worry about her later.
Right now I was struggling to convince myself this was actually happening and that I'd understood it correctly.
"You know?" he spoke again, softly but since we were this close I could even sense the rumbling of his chest against mine. His fingers smoothly traces paterns over my back. I hummed, showing him I was listening and he took in a deep breath. "I really don't mind about waiting."
A flashback of our fight the other day came back to me.
'Maybe I just got tired of waiting and waiting. Always fucking waiting!'
Now I got a more clear idea of what he was refearing too. My mind was still to foggy and unable to fully embrace the idea of Brett wanting me in anyway more than a friend. But facts were facts.
He's been waiting... for me?
For me to return his feelings?
But I'd loved him from the very start!
It was all so confusing. I let my head rested on his soulder and tightened my hold around his neck. It'd been like forever since I last had been able to hold him like this and man I had missed it. Drinking for his nearness and addicting heat. I loved how his breath hitched as he hugged me back, as altered by me as I was by him.
It all felt like a wild fantasy, like a dream.
I do not just had an open heart seasson with Brett Ryder; had him apologyzing, saying he want me and kissing my ear in a way that made me wanna knit into him.
Nah. I would wake up at any moment.
I don't know how long we remained in that confy yet intimate position, but my muscles grew stiff, like wanting to be forever like that. Maybe we would melt together after all. I need to break the spell or we'd be drag to it for the eternity.
"S-so you want me?"
Brett chuckled and leaned into my shoulder, making me vibrated with the sound of it. "You're so oblivious." my chest constricted harder, not only for his words but also at the soft pressure of his warm lips on my shoulder.
Stamping there a soft kiss.
For a second I panicked, my mind going back to Lydia's party and Noel's assault, but it faded almost as quick as Brett smirked and repeated the small action more determined this time, kissing the tender spot over my collarbone.
Whoa.
Thousands of sparks ignited from there down my spine making it really hard for me to decipher his next words. "It's really frustrating."
"I-I, mh..." I couldn't tell if my muscles were tensing or melting, could they be both at once?
It had nothing on what Noel had done that night. This was sweet, and hot, and pleasant beyond believing. It disarmed me completely.
Melting, I was definitelly melting.
I could sense his strong heartbeat againt my chest, as fast as my own and setting the rythmn of this crazy, delightful moment. On their own accord, my hands moved from his shoulders to his nape, unsure if it was to pulled him closer or away. He groaned at the action and I grew hotter. What on earth is happening?
"You got no idea what you do to me." Brett said hoarsly. My head spun, unable to form one single thought as he glued his mouth to my neck, kissing it deliciously slow, erasing all my erratic thoughts one by one. He teased the spot driving me crazy, tentatively at first but then more confident, untying from his own restrains. "No. Fucking. Clue." Brett wrapped my hair around his fist angling my head gently yet firmly for a better access and the kisses turned ardent. The weirdest noise escape my lips, pleasure spreading as a sweet ache from the pit of my stomach to the tip of my toes. I shivered, digging my fingers on his shoulders, clueless but eager. "Fuck."
I'd never felt like this. This was new and exciting. I didn't know what was going on, or how had we end here but it felt damn good. His lips kept running the side of my throat, blurring anything else and smiled when he found a extremly sensitive spot, softly sucking at it.
"Brett." it felt as a tug to all my muscles and I unconsciously slid closer in his lap a the explosion of blind delight. His groan made my skin vibrate and my heart fluttered in need.
"I wouldn't do that." his arms tightened around me. His ragged pants only brought more goosebumps on my heated skin. "You-"
I almost jumped when my watch's alarm went off and his hold clenched as well, startled.
Reality hit me full force, snapping me out this little bubble we'd created around us and my eyes widened in realization. I forced myself to detatch, leaning back to be able to manipulate my wrist watch and turned off the alarm. I could felt my cheeks burning, self conscious at his eyes on my face and his hands absently tracing my thighs. Was he even aware how much that affected me?
"I-it's time. We should get going." I stuttered, flushing like crazy and hyper aware of what just had happen.
Awkwardly I slid off him, straightening my clother from any wrinkle. I could feel my heartbeat on every corner of my body and my knees felt weak now that had to hold my weight. My skin was tingling, especially certain spot on my neck that throbbed sweetly. Oh God oh God oh God. That just happened.
Don't I have any kind of self control?!
Now what?
Using the mirror over my dresser I noticed that yesterday's cut was a mere pink slid in my line of hair and I could cover both it and my neck molding my hair properly. From the corner of my eye I saw him getting up as well while I brushed my hair quickly but I couldn't will myself to look at him. I felt ashamed. I dropped the comb and went to pick the bag but his hand locked around my wrist.
"Hey." his eyes found mine. "Are we okay then?"
"Y-yes."
But he didn't look convinced. Brett keep the eye contact for some more seconds before dropping it with a sighed as he brushed his hair.
"Look, I didn't plan for it go like that, okay? Or tell you anything but... now it felt right I did." He didn't regret it nor take it back. My heart fluttered and part of the shame and self conciousness clenching my chest faded. "I didn't mean to push too much. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable now..."
I took his hand, immediately feeling better and smiled reassuringly when he looked at me again. "You didn't."
My heart warmed when he slowly grinned back, intertwining our fingers and lifting my hand to casually kissed the knuckles. My guts churned. Will it be like this from now on? I wasn't used to this much physical contact. I couldn't exactly say it bother me, but there's still a lot of thing for us to talk about; and I wasn't sure if jumping to whatever this was before solving it all would be the right choice.
Granny glared at us -well, at Brett- all the way to his car, and only once inside I heard him let out a deep breath. I'd have to talk to Granny later, I know. I knew she wouldn't like what I was doing and I knew she had all the reasons to be protective, but at the same time I was sure from her point of view she still couldn't see the change in Brett. Not yet, at least.
He'd been caring and protective all this last time. He wasn't the same as before, and even that bully Brett that scared me I wondered now what part of it was true. I mean, he was mean, and didn't handle well his anger... but to which point the torments were his or some other messing with my mind?
With all that I knew now...
I need to rethink everything all over. And do it with him, since there were parts of our history he got blurred as well.
We got weird looks everywhere when I parked Brett's Ford on the lot and we got out. My face burning as I kept it low so the hair was covering me. Still, I could felt their stares like lasers. Wondering. Judging. Why couldn't they mind their own business?
"Here." Brett was by my side in a second, taking the keys from my hand to lock the vehicle and interlocking our fingers again. If we weren't getting attention before, for sure we were now. I blushed harder but he smirked down at me, tugging me to advance. "What?"
"T-they keep looking."
"Ignored them." he rolled his eyes and let go of my hand only to drop his arm across my shoulders instead. The action was ten time more shrill but it also kinda shielded me form all that attention.
I still hadn't decided if I was comfortable with the efforless action when realized Brett was taking us to where his friends where. Of course. He was popular. He hang out the most he could, not like me that scurried towards the class as soon as I arrived.
Hunter and another couple of guys from the team where hanging around the cars, leaning against what I supposed was theirs and joking around. I met Hunter's amused glance and flushed all the more when he perked one brow.
"Now, this is unexpected."
"Shut up." snapped the auburn when we reached them but there was a hint of playfulness in it. He nodded to the other guys, who greeted us but go back to their conversation.
"So," Hunter was so not in the mood to drop it anytime soon. His smirk tell us so. "Should I take that as in last night was worth after all? Cause let me tell you you were such a pain in the ass when I left."
Brett's arm stiffened for a second over me. "Shut. Up."
"As if." he rolled his eyes and turned to me. "Tell me, Alyson. Was he handful?"
I smiled a bit, shyly but appreciating his intent to make me feel included in an enviroment it was clearly not mine. Hunter always had his touch. "You got no idea."
"Oh really?" Hunter laughed but Brett tilted his head to looked at me with a frown. A suggestive frown. "You weren't complaining about it earlier, were you?"
My eyes widened and I swear I felt my face turning ten shades darker. The faint gost of his lips over my neck lingered as if invoked by his mention. Hunter scoffed another laugh and shook his head, saving me once again. "Let the poor girl express, will you?"
"Will you shut up or need me to say it again?
Their bickering stole the attention from our arrival together... or how his arm still casually dropped over my shoulders. It made me feel excited, it made me feel protected.
It was... weird, their back and forth made it felt like we were just a group of friends messing around.
I didn't belong there. Among this cool people that surrounded us. I was out of place.
Yet, it was me who Brett liked somehow.
With another giggled I shook my head at next charade Hunter said and adveted my gaze, randomly connecting with certain cold one. One I didn't thought I'd see again here.
Everything in me froze.
My heart dropped to my stomach, crumbling like a paper under her glare.
Jade Stefan.
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Hey!! I hope you're all safe! So, what about this chapter? Do you think Brett deserved a chance or you think he's done too much damage already? What do you think will happen next now that Alyson and Brett seemed to improve yet Jade is back? Let me know!
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