"You've been bitten."
"No, really?" he says sarcastically, rolling his eyes. I glare at him and he drops his gaze. "Sorry, I'm not exactly happy about this."
I step forward to inspect the wound closer, seeing dozens of inflamed veins pulsing under his skin and red sores around the bite. "It looks old. When did this happen?"
He sighs. "It doesn't matter. It's done."
I stand up straight and lock eyes with him. "When?"
He runs a hand over his hair. "About a month ago."
I think back to the battles we had around that time. And then it hits me. "It was at the party, wasn't it? When you pulled me out the window?"
He doesn't say anything, but his silence answers my question. I stumble backwards, holding my hands over my face, shaking my head. "No. No, no, no."
Fury surges through me and I run at him, getting right in his face. "I told you I didn't need your help! I was fine! But you had to go and try to be the hero, and now look at you! You won't put this on me. I won't carry this on my shoulders for the rest of my life."
Tears well in my eyes but I fight them back, smacking my fists against his bare chest.
He takes my hands in his and kisses my fingers. "Hey, no one is asking you to carry this. It's not your fault. You're not responsible for my actions, my choices. I am."
He pulls me into his arms and I rest my cheek against his warm skin, trying to process it all. But the more I think about it, the angrier I get. I push him away, ignoring the pain in his eyes. "How could you hide this from me? You lied to me!"
He pushes his hands into his pockets. "I never lied."
I scoff. "Lying by omission is still a lie, Hardin. You should have told me. We could have figured something out."
A sad smile stretches across his face. "Tess, you know as well as I do that there's nothing you or anyone could have done about this. If it was my hand or my leg, maybe we could have had time to cut it. But this," he gestures to the wound on his side, "this can't be fixed. I've accepted that."
I throw my hands into the air. "Oh, you've accepted it? So that makes everything okay? You endangered everyone just by being around us. You put people's lives at risk. You put my life at risk."
He pushes a frustrated sigh through his teeth. "No. I had a plan. The moment I got bad, too bad to be around people, I was going to leave. Drive out into the desert and just let it happen. I'd never put anyone at risk, especially not you." His words come out slurred in his anger, and I realize just how hard he's been trying to hide it.
The weight of this moment hits me hard, and I sit on the ground, hugging my legs to my chest. "If you accepted it, if you had it all planned out, why not tell me?"
He steps over and takes a seat on the grass next to me. He stays quiet for a moment, chewing on his lip ring nervously. The muscles tense under his inked skin as he contemplates my question. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want your pity." He squeezes his eyes shut and takes in a deep breath. "I just wanted your love."
His words get me like a bullet to the heart. I turn to look at him, narrowing my eyes. I'm sure I misheard him. "You what?"
He keeps his gaze on the lake. "I wanted your love. I love you, Tessa."
I stare at him with my jaw hanging open and my heart flipping in my chest. But my surprise quickly turns to devastation. "Of course."
His head snaps to look at me, an amused smirk on his face, exposing his dimples. "Excuse me?"
I shake my head. "I said of course. Of course you would choose to tell me this now. You let me fall in love with you, then tell me you feel the same way right before you're about to turn into a freaking zombie." I fall back on the grass, covering my face with my hands.
I hear Hardin jump to his feet. "Well, it's not like I planned this!" he shouts. "I didn't want to fall in love with yoââ" His voice trails off, and I peek at him through my fingers to make sure he isn't turning just yet. He's looking down at me, the anger on his face fading and a smile growing.
"Wait," he says. "Did you say...You fell in love with me?"
I sit up again and nod.
He falls to his knees at my side, staring at me with wide, happy eyes. "You love me?"
"I love you."
He beams at me, taking my face in his hands and kissing me. But the happiness turns into sadness, and soon I can taste my tears on his lips and I pull away.
"You can't go back to campus in the state you're in," I say. "You'll be putting everyone at risk."
He hangs in head. "I know."
We're silent for a long time, staring at each other. I want to make sure the image of his face, his eyes, his lips, is burned into my memory forever.
"I'll do it," I say, wiping at my cheeks.
He shakes his head. "I can't ask you to do that."
"You didn't. I'm offering. Let me do it."
He furrows his brow in concern. "You're sure about this?"
I nod once, trying to keep my composure even though I feel sick to my stomach over what I have to do. "Yes. I can do it right, as quick and painless as possible." I swallow down the lump in my throat and fight back more tears. "You won't feel a thing."
He frowns and takes my hands in his. "I will. But that's okay. I'm okay."
My vision blurs from the tears and I squeeze my eyes shut, then open them again. I know this will be the last time I ever lay eyes on him, and I want my memory of him to be clear, not stained by my own grief.
I look at him, standing in front of me with sad eyes, the bite on his side covered in sores and lesions that are spreading all the way up to his neck. It's only a matter of time before the infection hits his brain. I won't let that happen to him. I won't let the best part of my life turn rotten right before my eyes.
The ones you love are the hardest to kill. I'll never get used to how quickly everything can change. We had our whole lives ahead of us before one mistake, one slip, one accident, one bite ended it all before it even began.
This whole time, it was already over for us.
I stare into his green eyes and am tempted to close my own; I don't want to watch what I'm about to do. But I won't let myself off the hook, I won't turn away. He deserves more than that.
So I look into his eyes and hope that what I'm about to do will send him to a better place. I didn't think anywhere could be better than here, right here with him. But for his sake, I hope there is.
"I love you, Hardin," I say, choking back the tears.
He gives me one last kiss. "I love you, Tessa."
I make it quick, cutting his head off clean and swift, and watch as he collapses to the ground in front of me.
"I hope you're at peace now."
One Month Later...
"I trust you've all read Wuthering Heights by now," the professor says. "The recent zombie waves have set us back weeks, but at least it gave you all plenty of time to complete your reading assignments." He chuckles at his own bad joke and begins the discussion.
I run my fingers along the wrinkled spine of my copy of the book, and I can't help but glance at the empty seat to my left. The pit in my stomach stretches and twists. I knew it would be hard to move on with my life, but I didn't expect something as simple as an empty chair would make me feel sick with heartbreak.
"You okay?" Landon whispers, snapping me out of my grief.
I clear my throat and straighten my shoulders. "Fine."
He gives me a sympathetic smile and I notice his gaze drop to my arm. "New tat?"
I look down at the still tender spot on my wrist and nod. "Yeah. To remind me to live life to the fullest." I trace my index finger over the black ink, curving with the infinity symbol, lingering on the hearts within it. "Because not everyone gets the chance."
The siren sounds, drawing groans from everyone in the room. I jump to my feet, sliding my katana out of its holster. I wait as the rest of the class lines up behind me, watching the professor for the signal. The moment he nods in my direction, I burst through the doors, screaming my battlecry as I run into the light.