30.Losing someone

The day when we realised that it will soon be the end of the everything then we began thinking of the things we could've done rather than neglecting the things which we have got.

One call made me realize that life is small and it doesn't work like we want but we need to work the way it is.

I was happy that everything will soon be on it's place and there was only seven months left to get over the jerk but the happiness soon left my side.

"Miss. Are you still there?" A lady asked from the other line.

"Uh. I'm listening." I replied in a shaky voice.

"We're sorry for the loss of your grandma. We need you to come and sign some papers then you can take the...." The line ended giving a beeping  sound as I press the end button.

Tears shed from my eyes like a nonstop waterfall. I had been crying since I had found out that I could no longer be with my granny. I could no more hear her stories, tease her about her love for grandpa, share her my secrets and scold her for not taking medicine at time.

I was so busy with my work and my unfortunate marriage that I couldn't got the time to spend with her. I would visit her once a month and she would told me that I need to live life to fullest. She had told me that she was more than happy that I got someone in my life who would love me till the end.

And I haven't tell her about the marriage ordeal as not to break her heart, cause she was happy to see her choco as a married woman. She would always tell me that I would get someone who would love me till death and would made me forget every sadness of my life as he will be the happiness in my dull life.

Only if she knew that the whole marriage thing is for a year only. I haven't gotten someone you have described grandma. It's only perfect for the fairy tale but the reality sucks like hell.

I remembered when I had received the phone call from the hospital and I had literally drove like a mad woman to reach there in less than fifteen minutes. I was so unlucky that I couldn't  even talk to her for the last time.Till the time I reach there she was already saying goodbye to everyone.

The last person she spoke to was Shaub. As I open the door, I saw him holding her hand sitting near the bed in the chair. I was about to say that she can't leave me soon but she took her last breath giving me a look of sadness.

I then ran to her side and started performing  CPR. No, granny! You can't leave like that. You need to be strong and come up like the bravest woman you're.

My mind couldn't registered the fact that she is no more alive and that freaking machine too couldn't bring her back to us. But like a mad woman I performed the CPR in the hope of seeing her alive.

"Enough! Shalifa! You're hurting." Shaub yanked me towards him holding my left arm which made me to brush on his hard chest but I pushed him away moving to the grandma side.

"Granny! You can't...lea..ve. Cho..co need yo..u." I said breaking down in front of her lifeless body while holding her cold hands and then tears started slipping from my eyes.

"You told me that you would always be there but now you. Grandpa too left me and now you too. It's not your time to go. You...." I said wiping the tears and sounding strong but my  voiced cracked and I could not control the tears that were threatening to fall.

I so want to become strong as mom, dad, Syong all were crying their heart out. Mom could not control herself that dad need to held her till she clam down. Dad gave me a sad smile saying it's alright but he too could not control the lone tear that escaped through his eyes. Same was the case with Syong, he was standing in the corner and trying to act clam.

I'm familiar with these type of scenario while working in the hospital but now I'm the one of the patients love ones. I have always felt guilty when I would not be able to save someone's life but would shake it off  saying it's their fate and now, I couldn't shake of the thought of losing my dearest one.

"We are sorry for your loss but doc...." The doctor was saying but I couldn't hear anything other than the word sorry. It was really hard for me to cope with the loss then someone pull made me to stand on my feet and I lost my balance when a large hand hold me.

I buried my face in the warm chest and let the traitorous tears made their way. For a split second I found the person who was holding me stiffen but then he too wrapped his arm around me and I inhale his scent trying to clam the havoc inside me.

"It's alright. Calm down love." He said rubbing my back while trying to soothe me.

If not for him I would have collapse on the floor and lose my senses. After doing some paper work we take grandma's body to the graveyard.

Mom told me that grandma wants me to be happy and that I shouldn't be sad that she left but be happy that she would meet her love, her husband, my grandpa.

And now we were in graveyard wearing a black dress along with our friends and close relative to bid goodbye to my granny.

"Who was the caller?" Shaub asked with questioning gaze at me as we were at the grandma funeral.

''Hospital." I said in a low voice which was a mere whisper but he didn't ask more and gave me a slight nod.

".......We're sad to say our goodbye to you but we will always remember you for the rest of our life. May your soul rest in peace." The pastor said and we all followed after him.

It's really hard to see our love ones die and bury them deep in the earth but it's just the cycle of nature.

I then felt someone squeeze my hand and it was none other than Shaub, who gave me a sad smile.

I was deep in thoughts that I didn't know that the funeral was finished and all family members were consoling each other. All our relative had attended the funeral and even some distant friend came.

I also met with few students of grandmas as she was a teacher when she was young and they were sad to hear about her death.

My cousin too were here and gave me a sad look saying we would meet latter. One by one all of the relatives left saying a few words of sympathy and then mom came and hugged me which latter turn into a family hug.

Grandma was the root of our family and it was really hard for us to say that she wouldn't be there to nag my mother saying she is the not one who she approved for his son.

''Hmm..We should leave." Few minutes later, Shaub said while clearing his throat as he was not included in the family hug but my brother pulled him into a hug and then we pull away.

''Don't worry princess, she will still be with us in our heart." Dad said giving me a peck on my forehead and we walked towards the exist giving one last to grandma's new home.

I then told mom that I would also join them but mom being mom she told me that I need to move on and asked Shaub to take care of me. I so wished that he would denied babysitting me but he was the nice guy in front of my parents so he just guided me towards his car.

The whole ride I tried not to cry as I was recalling grandma's words so I kept looking outside the window turning my head away as I could feel his gaze from time to time but he didn't say a word to which I was glad.

As soon as we reached the mansion I get off the car and strode towards my room as I was feeling sick then I hear Shaub telling me to wait but I literally ran to my room and sat at the edge of the bed closing my eyes tightly.

''You just know how to piss other even when they are not in the mood." I shouted at the intruder who is none other than the jerk who had enter my room without  knocking.

''I have bring food for you. You haven't eaten anything. Just have the soup.'' He said forwarding the bowl of soup to me.

''Why do you care?" I asked him after finishing the soup which hardly get down my throat as the jerk was standing few meter away from the bed giving me a poker face with his both hands on the pant pocket.

"Your mom had told me and look at you, your face is pale, eyes swollen and..." He said without showing any emotion and gaze at me like trying to see through me.

"You wouldn't understand losin-" A loud bang sounded which made me to stop mid sentence and it was Shaub who had kicked the cupboard behind him and he stride towards me.

"You are saying I don't understand the pain of losing someone when I had lost my dad in a small age and the selfish woman called m...." He said with gritted teeth and hold my shoulder digging his nail deep into my skin while coming dangerously close to me.

He was fuming with angry and his nose were flaring, eyes void of any emotion but were looking dark with malice, saying that you better shut your mouth before you taste the wrath.

And I tried not to be affected by his harsh look and looked straight into his eyes but his look become more dangerous that I need to close my eyes to stop the tears.

''From next time think before speaking and don't be cry baby and mourn on someone who has already left. It will only gave you more pain. But you stubborn woman wouldn't understand." He said in his deadly voice and left my shoulders with a harsh grip making me to wince in pain and he left the room while slamming the door shut.

I just stay still dumbfound trying to process his word but I couldn't interpret the whole thing. I did not know why he need to be an arrogant asshole just because he had lost his parents or whomever, cause they were many like him and he couldn't control his temper.

Ouch! I said moving my hand as the jerk had hold harshly that it might have been bruise. Then a thought crossed my mind: how did the jerk reach the hospital sooner and who had called him when I was informed by some nurse.

But it's waste to question and the jerk can't be nice for more than a few second or let's say an hour. And the selfish woman he mentioned but didn't told her name.

Is she the reason why he treat woman like shit or he is born this way? Anyways, he is a certified jerk who enjoy using woman for his desire.