41.Messed up

Never in my dreams I had ever thought that I would missed someone so much that it would be so hard to live and the regrets of not telling her soon would kill me from inside.

I had never experience such type of emptiness when I had been alone since I remember but just in a year she made me used to her presence so much that I couldn't even place my foot on my own mansion without remembering the day she left me.

It's been six months since that incident and still the memory of that evening hunts my mind. I couldn't forget her teary eyes, dry lips and  hurt face which was giving me venomous glare.

I had not thought that she wouldn't give me a chance to explain and just go on accusing me. I should have done something when I had seen that bastard Luimon around her.

But he had changed everything which I had prepared to say to her and maybe I would have apologise if I had to, to make her stay. But she left me saying that it's the end of the unfortunate marriage.

Fuck!

She just left me saying that and never try to come in contact me. I...I wanted to go to her but when I thought of making some move, her crying and hurt face flashes on my mind and even it's hurt to stay away from her, I would never show my face which would hurt her even more. She would hate me more than she has already and I couldn't  live while being hated by her.

"So you are gonna stay like this forever? With a guilt and a glass of  whiskey?" Len tried to provoke me but it won't effect me as he has been doing this since that evening.

"Really! Shuab. You would stay here cause she told you to never show up. Since when have you started listening to others?" Len sighed in frustration and shoot daggers at me while I just stare the glass.

"I don't know since when Len but I-I can't see her hating me. It's made me feel like some cheap bastard. I..." I couldn't even form a sentence and placed the glass on the counter with a force.

"You're a cheap bastard." Len yelled at me and snatched the bottle of whiskey from my hand and put it far away on the counter.

"LEN! GET YOUR ASS OUT OF HERE." I shouted at him and banged my hand on the counter.

"Getting drunk wouldn't help you? You need to face your problems even though you don't want to. And What you did is not something reasonable?" Len said in a calm tone while giving me you-should-have-think-before-doing-that look.

"Then why didn't you stop me Len? Why did you let me do that to her? Why the fuck you didn't tell me all this?" I lashed my all frustration and anger at him.

"SHAUB! Don't put the blame on me for what you did? I had told you that you would regret latter and she is something precious but no, the egotistic Shaub Reghen wouldn't listen to anyone other than his fucking stupid brain? Yet you tell me that she is just like other girls but she proved you wrong. Shaub, you couldn't recognize the gem when it was in front of you and now it's gone, you're looking for it. You're sick man." Len ran his hand through his hand and clenched his fist.

"I fucking messed up Len. I-I thought that she would be with me for my money and looks but no, she didn't even try to seduce me nor did she spoke nicely to me. You were right that time but I was so blinded with my anger that I couldn't think straight. I thought if I claim her mine then I would enjoy seeing that asshole being hurt, instead I'm here sulking for my own fucking decision. Why I'm not happy when I had hurt him? That asshole had tried every ways to find out about my plan and finally he found out when my anger took it ways. And did you know that when he said he love her, hearing that made me so angry that I beat the shit of that bastard." A devilish smirk form on my face when I remember that asshole's broken face.

"Why did you beat him? He truly had love her and she too will. You are nothing compared to him." Len's words made me to pounce on him and I punched him on his mouth.

"Don't ever compare that filthy asshole with me?" I said through gritted teeth and gave a deadly glare.

"Why?! Are you afraid that she would accept his love? Or she might have now that the villain of their story is drunken mess and is powerless. Why can't you see her with him?" Len yelled while wiping the corner of his lip where there was a slight blood due to the contact of my fist.

"WHY ARE YOU AFFECTED SO MUCH THAT YOU EVEN FORGET YOU HAVE OTHER PRIORITIES?" Len demanded an answer and he had pissed me off to my limit.

"BECAUSE I FUCKING LO....." I stopped mid-sentence with a parted lips as no words came from my mouth and saying I was shocked wouldn't be an understatement.

What the fuck I was saying?

Damn it! Len was correct again that I shouldn't drink so much that half of the cabinet of alcohol was empty in just two months and I couldn't even remember how much I had drank in these six months.

If Len was not with me then I would have been bankrupt by now and my enemies would have taken this opportunity to stab me. Oh! Len, he truly cares about me and yet here I was thinking I lo....shut up Shaub.

It's not your style!

"See! I told you that one day someone would change that famous playboy of NY with her charm and now I'm seeing the womanizer pissed over a rejection. It's..." Len gave a knowing smirk and if I was sober he would be ten feet under the ground.

"No. It's n-not.." I tried to protest in a slurry voice.

"Just drop it Shaub. You and me both know that the great business tycoon Mr.Shaub Reghen is whipped. He has turn into a saint after his wife left him. He hasn't look at any girl nor has he think about anyone other than her. I know Shaub how you felt when she had accused you and didn't listen to you?  I have gone through the same when Rachel find...I had been a jerk to her." Len said in a broken voice trying to control his emotion.

Len and Rachel story is just something I fucking don't understand and let's just stay they have twisted up so much that even they couldn't come out form what they have made up themselves.

I used to fight with Len a lot regarding Rachel and his relationship as Rachel is my princess and my baby sister and I couldn't see her cry not because of my best friend also.

Although, Len had been with me since we were in diapers and hadn't left me even when I was a ass to him but I couldn't see him breaking my princess heart.

I wouldn't say I didn't feel jealous when Rachel gave more attention to Len when I was the one who look after her when he would scold her and make her cry but I let it pass thinking about our friendship even if my best friend had fucked up.

And I was never into girls as whenever I would go, there would be line of girls who ask me to date and would try everything to make me happy but I just used them, like they wanted to do with me.

So, I became the famous playboy during the high school and with the time I couldn't changed my status. But I have never been with someone against their will and I always give them something in return which would be the latest necklace, branded clothes and all sorts of expensive items. That's the reason I thought of every woman like a thing and go on dating them.

"So Rachel listen to you this time?" I asked remembering the text he had send me months ago about going to her fashion week.

"No man. She is still the spoilt brat who used to tell me that her heart belong to me and she is my girl." Len chuckled giving me don't-you-know-look.

"She is my princess so she would be spoilt." I said a smirk and then I hear Len groan with anger.

"Don't ever said that?! Her heart belongs to me so she is mine." Len grunted and gave me dare-to-say-again-look.

"Then why are you here now? If she is ha-" Len let a loud sigh and didn't let me say further.

"I'm here to enlighten my dumbass of my friend who is drowning in alcohol instead of being a man." Len smirked and I fumed with an anger.

"Don't question my manhood Len? You don't k-" I shouted with flared nose but he cut me off.

"Anyone would question you Shaub, when you are doing nothing? Don't think that she would come to check on your damaged liver when you will be ill? And I wonder if she would even treat you." Len said while giving me a teasing look.

"No. I hadn't thought that and now what should I do?" I muttered imagining myself laying at the hospital and asking to be treated by her. And after she seeing me she refuses saying she don't treat jerks.

"Then you can tolerate seeing her with him? He too is a doctor and she would definitely be attracted to him as he is a gentleman and I heard he had already proposed her. Oh! How could I missed to asked her answer? I..." Len added fuel to the bulging fire and I smashed the glass on the floor making my hands bleed but I didn't felt any pain from it as I felt from his words.

The thought of them being together made me feel mad and my blood boils making me to loose all my senses.

She...without being around me also her one thought made me go insane and I couldn't forget her crying face when she had drove away with her suitcase.

I had thought that she would come back to pick her things which she had left behind but she send her friend name Bell who also shouted at me for messing up with her friend's life.

"Calm down Shaub. You need to think straight and need to clear up the things with her. You are the only one who could do this and you would do it even if it will test your patience and would drive you insane. I know the effect she has on you and I somehow think that she too have some feelings for you." With that Len went to the attached bathroom to bring the first aid kit.

If what Len had said is true then she will listen to me. And I will never give up until she hears me out.

Now I feel what others might have felt when they couldn't explain themselves. Ugh I have fucked up and now I need to clean the mess I have created.

Fuck! The great Shaub Reghen Of Reghen empire is thinking of cleaning when he can buy something clean with the money he has own.

Am I really gonna do that? Man! I'm really w-whipped...fuck! I haven't even clean my own wound.