"When should I expect your article, Chapman?"
I rest my phone between my ear and my shoulder, reaching for a book in the library. "I'm still working on it, Kevin."
"Make sure you share what you have so far with me," he says shortly. "If this tanks, I need to find another highlight story."
"It's not going to tank," I say rather defensively. The lack of trust in my ability does hurt. I've always been looked down upon, especially by guys like Kevin.
"Yeah, whatever. Just don't suck." He hangs up.
I sigh and tuck my phone into my backpack. "What a dick."
"Well, I wouldn't say that," a guy says from next to me, an armful of books in his grip. "Holden Caulfield is far too much a complex character to be reduced to a dick."
I stand confused. "What?"
He points to the book in my hand. "The Catcher in the Rye."
"Oh." I laugh. "Right." I place the book back on the shelf. "I was actually talking about my editor."
"You're a writer?"
"A journalist," I say. "I write for the campus paper."
The man smiles, and I take a second to appreciate his subtle attractiveness. He has dark hair, dark skin, and poetic, dark eyes. I could write a sonnet about those eyes. He's young, but looks older than other college boys. Maybe a grad student, I consider. Definitely not a frat star.
"Have you read the Catcher in the Rye?"
"Yes, only like ten times," I say with a laugh. "Like you said, Holden Caulfield is far too much a complex character. I always catch something new when I read it again." The book nerd in me is so excited to discuss this.
"I completely agree." He taps on the top of his pile of books. "Have any book suggestions? I've read most of the classics, and I'm looking to expand my library."
I contemplate. "Hm."
"I don't mean to put you on the spot. Why don't we discuss this over coffee sometime?"
Well, that was smooth.
"I don't usually go to coffee with strangers," I say.
He nods. "Fair. Well, why don't I introduce myself then? My name is Ollie. I'm a law student here. And I love long walks on the beach."
I smile. "Hi, Ollie. I'm Brooklyn. I'm a junior studying journalism, and I also enjoy long walks on the beach," I say.
"So, what do you say about coffee?"
I take a moment to consider. Aiden and I just decided that we are just friends-who-occasionally-go-on-dates, which doesn't really give me any feeling that we're supposed to be exclusive. It still feels so wrong to say yes to a date with this man. I have too strong of feelings for Aiden, but my scared heart wants me to be protected.
"I'm sorry. I can't. I just... it's complicated."
"Oh, okay. I've been there. I'm man enough to take some rejection here," he says and places his hands to his chest. "But I would really like some book recommendations. Can I at least give you my number?"
I nod and reach for my phone, almost a little too eager. "Yeah, of course."
He types in his name and his number into my contacts and hands me back my phone. "It was nice meeting you. Good luck with the article."
"The article?" I immediately feel caught. What does he know?
"You were on the phone with your editor, remember? The dick?"
I nod. "Oh, yes, yeah. Thank you!"
How guilty am I?
I check out the books I need for my class and walk back to my apartment.
I can't help but contemplate getting coffee with Ollie my entire walk back. Maybe it would be a good idea. Aiden clearly doesn't want anything serious with me, and I always told myself I wouldn't settle. Also, if I were to start seeing someone else, releasing the article would be a hell of a lot easier.
I wonder if Aiden is seeing other girls. We haven't talked about it, but the thought of him taking another girl to the West Wing makes me feel insanely jealous.
I wish I had told him I wanted more from our relationship. I just couldn't get a read on what he wanted, and he confirmed that it's best we're just friends for now. Staying comfortable is just so easy.
I spent my entire high school relationship staying comfortable. Look how great that turned out for me!
Instead of going into my apartment, I back track and head for the Sigma Tau Delta house. Some pledge opens the door for me, and I tell him I'm friends with Aiden. He seems to recognize me and lets me past him.
"Hey, Brooklyn!" Bradley greets me as I'm walking upstairs. "Long time no see!"
"Yeah, it has been awhile. How are you?"
"I've been better. We've got some money issues," he says with a sigh. "Of course the year I'm treasurer some stuff starts to go down."
I raise my eyebrows. Another interesting twist to add to the article. "What kind of problems?"
He waves his hand around. "Eh, I won't get into it." When we reach the top of the stairs, he heads the opposite direction to his room. "See ya around."
"See ya," I say. I knock on Aiden's door and hear him call out, 'one second!'
He opens the door, half dressed. It looks like he just got back from a run. "Oh, hey, Brook. Did you text me? I didn't know you were coming." He opens the door wider, and I walk under his sweaty arm. "I would've showered, sorry."
"Don't worry," I say. "You look good." He smirks and comes closer, but I stop him with my palm to his chest. "I said you look good; you don't smell great."
He laughs and throws a shirt over his head, sadly for me. "So, what's up?"
"Want to go on a walk?" I ask.
We walk around campus. Conversation is light. He tells me all about his classes, and I talk to him about how Sophie just had to give a speech in her class and how I listened to it twenty times.
Eventually, we end up in the West Wing.
I sit down on the bench and take a deep breath to prepare myself with what I want to ask him. "Are you seeing other people? Like, going on other dates and stuff? Or just hooking up?"
He looks thrown off. "Uh," he scratches the back of his neck, "I mean, not really. Did Bradley say something to you?"
"No, no." I kick my feet out in the dirt. "I just guess I'm a little confused about our agreement to be friends-who-occasionally-go-on-dates. Does that include dates with other people?"
He puffs out his bottom lip and shrugs. "Do you want it to mean that?"
No.
"Uh, I don't know. Do you?"
"I don't know." He sits next to me. "I wasn't really going on many dates before you."
"But you were hooking up with a bunch of girls," I say.
"True," he laughs. "I don't care, Brooklyn. It's whatever you want."
I want you to care.
"Why can't it be what you want?" I argue and cross my arms over my chest.
"Why can't you make a decision?"
Because I'm scared you don't feel the same way about me as I do about you.
"We're clearly both too stubborn," I say. "I got asked on a date by a law student today."
He raises his eyebrows. "Oooh, a law student." He clenches his jaw slightly, but it didn't go unnoticed. "Did you say yes?"
"No. I said it's complicated." I hold my chin up high. "You're complicated, actually," I say, a slight childishness to my voice.
"I'm complicated?" He holds a hand to his chest. "You're complicated, too." He points a finger toward me.
"You're the one who won't ask me to be your girlfriend when I basically already am."
"You're the one who won't argue for this relationship." His voices rises slightly with frustration.
"What?" I scoff. "You want me to beg for you to ask me, Aiden?"
"I'm not saying that. I'd like you to show me a little interest, even the slightest! You give me nothing, Brooklyn!"
"What do you mean I give you nothing?"
"I've opened up to you. I've been vulnerable about my feelings for you," he argues. "You haven't said anything. I don't even know if you like me!"
He's right. I don't open up to him the same way he has to me. I've always struggled with being able to open up, and I especially don't feel confident in myself enough to be vulnerable with someone like him.
"Will you be my boyfriend?"
His eyes widen slightly, thrown off by me asking the question. "Really, Brook?"
"I really like you, Aiden. I've been struggling with the fact that you're so much better than me and you deserve better. But I really want this. I want you."
He kisses me as his answer, pulling me toward him.
And so, there in the West Wing, I hope and I pray that this man truly does not have an STD.
~~
AN:
Should I submit this story to the Watty's??? I would have to finish it by September which is a feat I'm willing to take on...
Let me know what you think & thank you for all the support!
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