*** Warning: There will be an lot of mistakes. Because not even once I proof readed it. There will be an plenty of mistakes. Sorry dears. Thank you allâ£ï¸â¤ï¸***
Aaditya pov:
I turned the next page in order to know what happened next.
26/04/2009
Dear first friend,
The doctors confirmed that am having an Bulimia nervosa. You don't know what it is right I will tell you. But don't get disgust with me okay.
"Oh malar no one will get disgust with you. Am loving you not only your good things along with your bad things too. Love you Malarvizhi." I said to her. As usual she didn't respond to me.
Bullimia nervosa- it's an serious eating disorder marked by bingeing(Which means eating an excessive amount of food), followed by methods to avoid weight gain.
Bulimia is a potentially life-threatening eating disorder.
But my case is different I didn't do binge, but it seems I disgust with my body shape. So in order to make myself look beautiful I avoided eating, even if I ate small amount of food I will purge(vomiting) that too self induced one, and also by doing exercise that too with an heavy workout I tried to loose my weight. I think you got an idea about this disorder right. It is mostly identified by self diagonosable.
"What the fuck. Its all becuase she yearned for parents love. But they didn't treat her as an human being. Is this how an parents will be. Disgusting parents" I said to her.
Its been a 2 weeks in the hospital. Only my family came to meet me. That too just for an formality. Krithi not at all leaving me. Even if I use the washroom. She used to talk with me just to ensure that am not puking again. I don't have words for her. Why she is having this much of love towards me I have no idea about that.
Aunty and maa only constantly checking over me. Am so glad that am having these many lovely people around me.
Today am going to get discharged. Am so happy, and aunty asked me to come to their home. But I refused. Then krithi started to scold me and after a lot of efforts I accepted it. When I informed this to my parents they said "Very good." this is the only words from them. I don't know what to describe them. Bye friend. I don't have strength.
With love,
Malarvizhiâ¤ï¸.
"This is so much to take in baby. You have undergone many things. I have no words" I said to her.
15/04/2009
Dear first friend,
Its being an few days of me staying in krithi house they took care of me like their own daughter. A so happy â¤ï¸. I have been attending the therapist to get out of this physcological eating disorder. So far I have attended 3 sessions. I said everything to him. He made me realise first I need to love my self, love my body. Am so happy right now. Because I realise my mistake. Hereafter am going to stand up for myself.
Am in love with me. Then I love krithi very much. Do you know aunty asked me one day what I will do for krithi. Without even thinking I said, I will do anything to her. Even if I have give up my life. Its true without her, her family and maa, now I can't able to speak with you right. I love her soo much. She is an one true soul. Am glad that I got her friendship.
With love,
Malarvizhiâ¤ï¸.
"Indeed you both are true soul" I said to her.
"Wow I didn't expect this. My love is already an one sassy girl. But before me she is an meeky one." I laughed saying this.
I started to get impatient. So I read everything just like am proofreading. Everywhere she mentioned about how she tackled the body shaming. She becomes more bold. I like this.
But one page caught me,
17/03/2017
Dear first friend,
Today is my graduation day. We both completed BE.CSE. With an flying colors. Hahaaaa. We both are passed with an distinction. And am currently working in MR Software limited company. Am so happy right now. Not only me even krithi too working along with me.
But the saddest part is my parents didn't attend my graduation day. At first it hurts me. But then I know they all like this. So it's not now. Even Nakul too didn't came. He is not like my small Nakul boy, he become like my parents. He too started to body shame me. I know it's all becuase of me. Yes one day his friends are cane to our house, after seeing me his friends started to mock them. Yeah yeah that body shaming only. Then he too started to hurt me.
But you know what maa came for my graduation. It's an surprise for me. Am so happy. After graduation me and krithi gave party for krithi parents and maa too.
You know before three year, maa delivered a twins. One boy and one girl. Am so happy for her. I too started to save some money for their education. If she is my maa, then those cuties are my siblings right. First time when I seen both of them, they were so small. Now I have two more siblings. I already taking care of Nakul school fees. And even other things too. Even my so called sister too working but always using full amount in shopping. I don't have any words. She become so cruel now.
With love,
Malarvizhiâ¤ï¸.
"You are different person malar. You give more importance to others â¤ï¸" I said to her.
Again I started to read. There is no many entries.
12/12/2018,
Dear first friend,
Am really sorry for not talking with. You know I had many works. You see am doing the office work, plus household chores too just helping maa,even gardening too. So I didn't get time friend.
You know what happened today, actually I was late for the office today. I asked krithi to wait in our floor entrance. Due to late I runned in the office floor or else that so called lead will scold me. So with this thought I just kept running, and at the same time I thought of tooking my mobile from my bag, but what happened next you know. I got banged with some man. He even got hold of me by wrapping his hand over my waist. I couldn't able to see his face as he turned to other side. I just get out of his hold and gone to lift. But you know what I felt dejavu like it happens in the school. That scene rewinding in my mind still now. That's why am sharing this news with you.
With love,
Malarvizhiâ¤ï¸.
"Again it's me.oh my godððâ¤ï¸ Seriously malar we are destined only right. Come on wake up dear. I too think about you a lot of times without even knowing you, you know." I said to her smilingly.
30/01/2019,
Dear first friend,
Before 3 days we all I mean me krithi and her parents are gone to the temple. But you know what happened there. One aunty saree got fired I don't know what to do. So I just saved her by my own hands.
Now my hands are burning like hell. And you know then next day is thaanavi birthday. She is like an daughter to me. I will definitely adopt her.
Yeah I know one thing that no one will marry me. Because of y outer appearance. Don't get me wrong. I don't hate my body. I actually loving it. But we can't expect others too love right. So I know that no one is going to love me. After some few years, I will adopt thaanavi and I will be an single mom. That's it.
And you know what happened when we both gone to one boutique I forget the name for choosing dress for thaanavi . Heee. There too I got body shamed, but I didnt leave it just like that. I gave an strong comeback. And you know even I saved one child from tripping over the steps. And gave long lecture to their parents.
And you know still that stranger face is coming to me. Why am like this friend. Okay bye friend.
With love,
Malarvizhiâ¤ï¸.
" We happened to see 3 times before our marriage. Uff. Why malar we both are like this. And even I too got your face." I said to her.
19/02/2019
Dear first friend,
You know I have an shocking news to you. My sister got engaged. Yup. You see they don't even invite me. Ahaa leave that, they don't even informed me. When I got to know about this 2 days before, I cornered them with this. You know what they said. I look ugly, so after seeing me priya's in laws will stop the marriage, becuase after marriage priya's I laws and groom will think like she too will become fat and ugly like me. This is the exact words of my so called dad.
But today I attended the engagement, because she is my only sister. I just attended it by standing in the outside, becuase of my parents seen me then I will be over right. I just happened to see priya. She looks gorgeous. But I couldn't able to look groom as photographers hided him. I know even my soon to be bro-in-law is not going to accept me as his family.
With love,
Malarvizhiâ¤ï¸.
"Bro-in-law is the name which am hating from the core right now. You are my wife baby and am your husband okay." I said to her.
I again opened the diary and started to read. I want to know how she accept the marriage.
08/03/2019
Dear first friend,
You know what I have an good news. Priya allowed me to attend the marriage. Am s happy. She even allowed krithi to attend it. She attending just for the sake of me. We both purchased saree. She is the one who encouraging me constantly. Becuase many members mocked me for wearing an saree. But with her long lecture I bought an saree. I don't even know about priya in laws. I asked Nakul, he just said groom name is Aaditya. Other than that no information regarding them. Even my company ceo name is Aaditya. This nakul boy becomes so bad boy.
With love,
Malarvizhiâ¤ï¸.
"It's always your Aaditya malar." I said to her.
15/03/2019
Dear first friend,
I have an shocking news for you, I got married. Yes I got freaking married to my brother in law. My sister ran away from the mandap. I don't even know anything about bro in.... No no I mean my husband.
You know I first object with this marriage one I know the groom won't accept me after seeing my outer appearance. And two I don't want to be again unloved. But alas no one heard me. Groom's mom asked my hand first his aunt gave this idea. But I politely ignored it. Even his aunt body shamed me. But you know what happened Aaditya's mom just shouted at that aunty and kissed my forehead. That is the first someone kissed my forehead. It was so lovely. I even thought if saying yes to the marriage. But I didn't as I don't want to make other one sufferable.
But my parents cunningly made me to accept this marriage. They took the hostage of the orphanage with the help of goons. Then how will I not accept this marriage. Without even any choice I said okay. Krithi to asked me many times how I accepted it. But I didn't said anything to her. As I don't want her to involve in this.
Groom's mom gave me an lovely saree and helped me in getting ready. She didn't disgust with me for my body shape and all. Am so happy with that. After getting ready I gone to the mandap. I took seat beside groom. But still now I didn't seen his face.
You know his first words to me "Stop fucking crying" this is the first word. That's how turned and seen him. He is so handsome. Uff. Seriously he is handsome one.
After marriage even Nakul hugged me when am going. And I asked my father to call the goons to come out of the orphanage. He nodded his head. They didn't share anything, no wishes nothing.
After everything, I sat along with ti's brooding man in his car. When we reached his mansion we did many rituals. Atlast the wedding night too came. I seriously hadan fear. Because at first I thought I want to give myself to him only after our love. But he showed me an reality check to me. He too disgust with me. He uttered many mean words and even slapped me. Already morning itself my dad slapped me. Yesterday is an slapping day. Ufff. I literally slept in the floor thinking about this.
At morning he even complimented my coffee. But after knowing its me he just shut his mouth. Then I asked for the separate room from mom. She reluctantly said okay.
Friend I know one thing this marriage is going to be an hell one, I don't going to make him fall for me. I mean it's won't happen. If he want divorce I will give it to him. Because I got married to him just for my sake right. Atleast after divorce he might get his beautiful girl as his wife. Because everyone is seeking for beauty only right.
With love,
Malarvizhiâ¤ï¸.
"Am sorry angel, I hurted you badly. But don't ever think of divorcing me. Okay. Am not going to allow you for that. Love you angel. At first I too thought of having an beautiful wife is success. But right now I don't have such thinking. Because you are so beautiful to me. My love" I said it to her.
28/03/2019
Dear first friend,
You know what I think am started to like Aaditya. He is none other my company ceo. At first I thought he is an arrogant one. No he is such an awesome person to be precise an gem person. I like him soo much. But I know he won't like me. That's for sure.
I even seen him naked ahh no no half naked only. He is so fucking handsome. Why he has to be like this. He daily kiss his mom forehead. Am yearning for that. If only am beautiful he will like me right. Leave this. Bye friend,
With love,
Malarvizhiâ¤ï¸.
"Am not an gem person malar. You are" I kissed her forehead.
17/04/2019
Dear first friend,
You know what today we both kissed. Our first French kiss. Uff man he is so handsome. I again need his kiss. He also said that is his first kiss. Can you able to see anyone like this. Am so happy. We both are living in the same room. Okay bye. He will come soon.
With love,
Malarvizhiâ¤ï¸.
"I too need the kiss baby. Wakeup dear." I said to her.
24/04/2019
Dear first friend,
I started to love him. He is my everything now. I need his love. He is already showering me with so much of love . Now am working as his PA. We are kissing many times now. Even in kitchen, theatre everywhere. We both are becoming shameless. I just wish he too will love me. Nothing more is needed. Just his love. I will do anything for him. Even if I have give my life. I will do it happily just for him.
With love,
Malarvizhiâ¤ï¸.
"You already did it baby. Come on wakeup now. Please I can't able to think straight. I seriously badly need you baby" I said to her with tears in my eyes. She fucking loves me so much.
I turned the next page. But that is the last entry of that diary. There is no more entries. I just closed the diary and kept it above the table. And slept in the chair by wrapping my hands around her waist in such a way don't hurting her in anyway. I can't able to sleep without cuddling her. Atleast like this I can able to sleep right.
I wokeup next day. Today it's Sunday. Again the Same routine. I atleast want to punish my in laws one last time. Actually I don't have interest but after reading my wife diary. I can't able to think about leaving them just like that. I asked my parents to look over my wife. I moved out not before kissing her lips and forehead.
I first gone to the orphanage to see my daughter. I spend some time with her. Then I gone to the same banglow. Again the same punishment. Plus this time I have some heavy shocks. All looked so tired. Am so happy. I don't want to get my hands soo dirty. But will try to get more punishments in jail itself. I have to took care of that. Then I asked the doctors to check and gave some medicines. Then i asked Aarav to leave them in the police station. They all looked angry. What I didn't even gave much punishment, for this itself they were glaring seriously. I just slapped them all again. Then I came out of the banglow.
I reached straightly to the hospital. Its evening. Doctor came for the rounds.
"Doctor how is my Malar" I asked him.
"Yeah now the concussion are slowly started to healing. It's an serioua brain injury right. So it will take some time to get heal. Have patience man." he said to me. How will I have it. When I need her badly.
"Okay doctor. When we will able to discharge her" I asked him.
"Why you can treat her here itself right." doctor asked me.
"No doctor can you please make her to shift to my house. I can't able to see her in this hospital environment. Please" I asked him. I don't want to move away from her. Atleast once in tumw I need to go to the house. I don't want to move away from her.
"Okay okay I can understand your situation. Yeah it seems to be an good idea too. I mean th epatient has to be in an happy environment only right. Okay I will consult with others. But you need to have one nurse always along with her. And also an doctor to check her once in an every month. If it's okay then I don't see any problem in shifting your wife to your house " he said to me.
I am so happy right now.
" Thank you so much doctor " I said to him.
" No problem Aaditya" he said and gone out.
Then I sat before my girl and took her hand in my hand. Again we are going to be in our home baby. I thought in my mind. Right now am soo happy.
After sometime again the doctor came and informed me to shift on saturday. I said thanks to him. I informed to my family members. They all seemed happy. Especially my mom.
Time skipped.....
This is the day were malar is getting discharged. After all the procedures we took malar in the ambulance and shifted to our house to be precise our room. Our bed is big enough to sift her along with the hospital equipments. And an nurse came along with us. I even allocated some room to her.
At night I slept beside her just holding her hands. This is mote than enough for me now.
"Welcome to our room babyâ¤ï¸" . I said to her by looking at her face. She is seeping peacefully.
Yesterday her so called parents case come to the court. They all look somewhat okay. Judge gave severe punishment to them. For that old man, it is an life time sentence. And for the lady and her daughter it is an 7 years of prison. But for the Sushant it's only an 6 month. Am soo happy after that.
I slept thinking about this.
"Am so happy right now. Just missing you." I said to her. And slept think about her.
" I didn't expect that one day I will be loving one girl this much.
But you thought me that an person like me to will love someone.
You made me an different person.
The most best thing I have done in my life is fell in love with youâ¤ï¸.
Am glad now. You don't know how am feeling right now.
Now I feel complete.
My only motto is to make shower so much of love on you. Just open your eyes baby. " saying this I wrapped my hands around her waist and slept thinking about our upcoming days. With only wish to see her eyes atleast for tomorrow.
Author's note:
Thanks you so much for your immense of love and support.
Please do vote, comment and shareâ¤ï¸.
How was the chapter.
Did you like it.
Few words regarding the chapter.
Did everyone understand that bulimia nervosa. If you have any doubt still now you can ask her!
If you seen anyone like this. Please help them. Because they won't know that they were in the problemð¤.
And thanks for your care. Am perfectly alright now. Just little bit tired that's itðð¤ððð.
Luv you allâ£ï¸.
Love yourselfâ¤ï¸.