Chapter 45: Never Never: Chapter 45

My heart is beating so hard, it’s losing rhythm. My mouth is dry. I grab the bottle of water sitting on Silas’s nightstand and down a big drink. “This is terrifying,” I tell him. “I wish we could speed up the next five minutes and get this over with.”

He sits up straighter on the bed and grabs my hand. “Sit in front of me.”

I sit in front of him. We’re both cross-legged on the bed, in the same position we were in at the hotel room two days ago. Thinking of that morning makes me ill. I don’t want to acknowledge the possibility that in a few minutes, I might not know who he is.

I have to have faith this time. This can’t go on forever. Can it?

I close my eyes and try to control my breathing. I feel Silas’s hand reach up and brush the hair from my eyes.

“What’s the one thing you’re the most scared of forgetting?” he asks.

I open my eyes. “You.”

He brushes his thumb over my mouth and leans in to kiss me. “Me too. I love you, Charlie.”

And without hesitation I say, “I love you, too, Silas.”

When his lips meet mine, I’m no longer scared. Because I know that whatever happens in the next few seconds…it’ll happen with Silas, and that brings me comfort.

He threads our fingers together and says, “Ten seconds.”

We both inhale deep breaths. I can feel his hands shaking, but they aren’t shaking nearly as badly as mine.

“Five…four…three…two…”