Chapter 22: Santa’s Baby: Chapter 21

I’m wracked with nerves when Reuben pulls up at the mall. I take a deep breath as he puts his hand on my knee and gives it a squeeze.

“You ok? Looking forward to being an elf for the day?”

Part of me wants to be honest and say no, not in the slightest. Being around kids gives me the heebies. Especially the cute, curious ones at about six or seven years old, gripping their parents’ hands as they skip along, excited for Christmas.

My baby would have been six now, skipping along by my side.

Fate’s a bastard, though. It chewed me up and spat me out, and since then it’s been safer not to dream at all. To avoid horrific memories at all costs.

There is no way I’d be here now, about to be an elf, if it wasn’t for Reuben. In some ways I want to curse my dumbass soul for daring to believe.

“I’m cool,” I tell him. “It’ll be an experience. I’ve never played an elf before. Cats, yeah. Naughty daughters, playing up for their daddy, yeah. Even girls who get turned on by radiators.” Reuben laughs, and I laugh along with him. “For real, one guy loves radiators. The hotter the better.”

“I know. I read your proposals, remember?”

Proposals seem miles away. I have a shit ton of them stacking up in my notifications, but I’ve been ignoring every single one of them.

“Let’s do this,” I say, trying my best to sound happy about it.

He gets out of the car and I follow suit. “Does being Santa’s elf bring any perks?”

“You get free coffee and cookies,” he says, coming to stand next to me.

“I was thinking maybe a turn on Santa’s lap between kiddie visits.”

“I’m sure that’s a given,” he reaches for my hand.

I take a step back. “Maybe it’s best if you go ahead.”

He nods. “Good thinking.”

I follow him as he leads the way, keeping my distance as we head through the mall. Being here together feels so risky, in case there are prying eyes. I’m probably being paranoid, but the combination of nerves upon nerves makes me especially on edge. The last thing I want at risk is my career right now. If things went tits up, my job would be the safety zone I’d run back to at full speed.

If.

There it is again. That sliver of hope. I’m daring to believe.

I’m a stupid ass sometimes.

Reuben brought his Santa suit in a holdall. I wait by the toilets as he dashes to get my outfit.

He presents me with a bag and I open it to take a peek. Stripy red and white tights, a green dress and a cute little fluffy hat with a bobble on top. I’ve got my red stilettos on under Reuben’s fresh pair of joggers. And I’ve got a pair of his boxer shorts on to stop my butt crack showing.

“You sure this is my size?”

“Positive,” he says.

“Really?”

“I know body shapes like a professional, Tiffany. Especially curvier ones.”

I get dressed up in a cubicle, and I’m impressed. Reuben has selected my outfit perfectly. My stripy tights fit nicely, and my elf dress doesn’t show too much cleavage – just a taster. The hem is a decent length, almost to the knee.

I put my hair up in the scrunchie I always keep in my bag and pop my hat on top. I check myself out in the mirror and it’s convincing. I kinda like it.

I’m about to leave when the door opens, and a little girl bounces on in with her mum. She’s one of my beautiful nightmares, about six years old, with red curls, and freckles dusting her cheeks. She has bright blue eyes – like Kian, and I get the familiar hit, right in the heart.

She stares open mouthed at me, her eyebrows high.

“Mummy, look! It’s an elf! An elf in the toilet!”

Her mum grins bright. “So it is.”

I fight the urge to freeze as the girl dashes over and wraps her arms around me, linking them tight around my thighs.

“Hey, elfie! Are you helping Santa?” She looks up at me. “I’m going to see him, you know? I’m going to ask him for a reindeer for Christmas. He’s got loads, hasn’t he? Do you think he’ll give me one?”

I can’t help but break into a smile. A reindeer, wow. Her mum gives me a silent grimace, and I come up with an answer on the spot. I drop to a crouch to meet her daughter eye to eye, my heart thumping.

“I don’t know about that, sweetie pie. Santa’s reindeers have to work really hard every Christmas, and I’m not sure he’ll be able to do without them. Especially not Rudolph.” I keep smiling as her grin drops. “But… he might be able to get you a really nice pretend one. A fluffy one that looks just like Rudolph. They are so good, almost like the real thing. PLUS, you can give them a cuddle. Real reindeers can be a bit grumpy sometimes, and they are hard to fit in your bedroom.”

Her face lights up as though I’ve just given her a revelation.

“That sounds really cool.”

I give her a pat on the back before I get to my feet, and her mum mouths a thank you.

“Right, toilet time, Penny,” she says. “The grotto opens soon!”

I leave them to it, fighting the urge to burst into tears once I’m out of sight. I take deep, slow breaths and tell myself I can get through this. I can do it. I always fucking do.

The sight of Reuben waiting by the grotto allows my fears to fuck off a little. It brings back the rush of pure oh my fucking God as I see him like that again, trussed up in his red suit and silly beard.

“Ho, ho, ho,” he says when I reach him, and I almost dive in for a hug before I remember that this is the grotto, and I’m just a helper here. A volunteer – not someone who woke up in Reuben Sinclair’s bed this morning, still feeling the shape of his fist in her pussy.

He introduces me to Evelyn and Jen, the other elves, and takes his spot in the Santa cavern. Evelyn is young, in her early twenties – tall and energetic with her long blonde hair in a plait. Jen is a lot older and has a real motherly quality to her. I like her from the off. She’s about the same size as I am, and we are in identical outfits. Ah-ha! No wonder Santa picked my costume just fine.

I get a shiver of panic at the thought there might be some history between them. She has a great smile, and shimmies her ass in her costume, joking as she says she could be my elf mother. She leans in and whispers ‘My husband thinks I look like an idiot in this garb, but he can piss off. I love elf time.’

Phew, she has a husband. I feel the relief in my bones.

The pair of volunteers direct me well and put me at ease, talking me through how they manage the queue and engage with the kids waiting in line, to make sure they don’t get bored. We have a bucket of candy canes each to hand out, and Jen takes the entrance while Evelyn and I stand on each side of the queue. Within no time, it stretches way beyond the grotto entrance – it’s like a bloody snake through the mall. I stop darting my eyes to Santa’s cavern every fifteen seconds in an attempt to catch sight of Reuben, because the hustle and bustle just doesn’t allow it. I have no chance to let my emotions overtake me as I chat to the kids as they pass by, and in no time at all I’m laughing and joking with them.

I get so many questions on what it’s like to be an elf, and I come up with elaborate stories about my experiences with reindeers, and how silly Rudolph can be when he’s in a mood. The kids love it, and the parents appreciate the effort. I get more thank yous mouthed at me than I’ve ever known, and it feels good to be appreciated like this. Really fucking good.

The kids’ happy faces don’t pierce my heart after a while, they make me grin. My silly elf costume doesn’t make me feel like an idiot with my waves of scarlet hair scrunched up in a bun, it makes me feel magical. By lunchtime, I’ve kicked my stilettos off in favour of going barefoot, since they’re so bloody uncomfortable, and with that I start to do silly elf dances and I sing along to jingle bells with groups of kids. It’s hilarious.

“You’re doing a fantastic job!” Jen gushes as we grab a ten minute break. “Where the hell did Reuben find you? I’ve never seen you around here before.”

Fuck, what a question. I turn it into a joke and give her a slap on the arm.

“He found me feeding Rudolph when nobody was looking and snuck me into the grotto!”

She laughs. “No, seriously. Where did he find you?”

Shit.

I can see the way she’s digging.

She gestures to the grotto.

“Come on,” she says. “I know Reuben pretty well. I’ve been working with him for years. I saw the way he looked at you when you appeared in your elf garb.”

Fuck it. I’m not wearing foundation today. I feel my cheeks burning up like hell.

Her smile turns into a full on grin.

“It’s so good to see him like this,” she tells me. “Honestly, I’ve been waiting to see him find happiness for a long, long time. You must be one special elf, put it that way.”

I don’t know what to say or do. My heart is racing, as though I’ve committed a crime, because she knows we’ve got something going on. She sees it.

“I hope you feel the same way about him,” she says. “He’s one of the most incredible men you could ever know. And if it wasn’t for my husband, well.” She swats my arm. “He’s quite a dish, isn’t he? I hope you appreciate being Santa’s baby, because there would be a queue longer than this one to get a chance at that.”

I’ve no doubt about that.

Thank fuck the break is over before I get more of a grilling from her. I’m back to Rudolph chatter and singsongs, and I try to play it as casual as possible in front of Jen and Evelyn when Santa takes some time out for a coffee. It’s no bloody wonder Jen cottoned on though, because he can’t stop looking at me, and I can’t stop looking at him. My heart flutters, and the butterflies soar, and I’m so fucking glad I braved my fears enough to join him at the grotto today, because it beats anything I could have done back at his place. A million times over.

It’s not just because of him, though.

It’s because of the kids, too.

The joy on their faces, and the sound of their laugher, and the way they are so happy to speak to me. So excited to see the amazing Santa.

There is no point hiding the truth from myself any longer. My guard has been up so high for so long that it’s touched the sky, but now it’s breaking. Crumbling.

I want to be Mrs Santa, not just his elf. I want to have Santa’s babies, and build a family with the stunning, charitable, dirty, powerful, loving Reuben Sinclair. Screw proposals, and a life filled with smut for cash, I’ve had my filthy fill.

All I want for Christmas – is him.

“You are an absolute superstar of an elf, I hope you know that,” he says as soon as we’re back at the car. “I caught sight of you, singing and chatting with the kids. It was magical.”

I feel so proud of myself, it’s ridiculous, and so hot for him, it’s insane.

“Yeah, it was pretty cool. I liked it.”

He grins as he reverses out of the parking space.

“Cool enough that you’ll come back here with me tomorrow?”

Fuck the charade, I laugh out loud.

“Cool enough that I’ll come back every day to elf it up with you, how’s that sound?”

“Now that sounds magical. Thank you.”

“On one condition,” I say, and hold up a finger.

“Go on.”

“You give me the fuck you promised me earlier. I’m gagging for it, Santa.”

“Don’t worry about that, my sweet elf princess.” He gives me a side eye that sets my clit on fire. “You’ve been on the nice list all day. It’s time to get real fucking naughty when we get home.”

Home.

Yeah. Home is where the heart is.

And mine belongs at Reuben’s.