Chapter 103: Chapter 103

Adelie

Tomorrow, Kairos and I are scheduled to die. Just for a moment, if all goes well. The mere thought of it churns my stomach. I’m not one to worry about myself.

We often convince ourselves that we’re invincible. We’re cautious. We’re strong. But when it comes to the people we care about, worry has a way of playing out our worst fears on a loop.

I had to figure out how to die just enough to not harm the baby. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing it. I knew how much Kairos longed for a child to carry on his legacy. I used to think I wasn’t ready for motherhood, but with Kairos by my side…

What did I stand to lose? Having a child was a beautiful thing. A child represented love and resilience. And we weren’t going to live forever. What would be left of us when we were gone?

My thoughts were leading me in circles. At least, these thoughts were.

I kept going back to what Death had told me: to find the day the first Garcia heir of the Night walkers pack was born. Many of the older pack members had left.

I wasn’t sure who was left that could remember that day. And many who might have remembered were dead, thanks to Mia.

I was terrified that something might go wrong when I tried to kill Kairos, or with Christopher. There were so many variables. I still had to persuade Burton to let me kill Kairos.

I was sitting in my study, in Kairos’ chair. How long had it been since Kairos had sat here, truly acting as the Alpha? When he was still himself? I was still myself.

I buried my face in my hands, but was jolted out of my thoughts when Nathan walked in. I quickly composed myself, surprised to see him still here after everything that had happened. “Luna,” he greeted, bowing his head slightly.

“The pack is ready to leave. Only the guards assigned to the Alpha remain, split into two shifts.”

I nodded and stood to leave, but he wasn’t finished. “May I stay here?” he asked. “As a guard, or to assist you in any way?”

“You turned down the role of my Beta,” I reminded him. He’d had the opportunity but hadn’t wanted it. Wasn’t suited for it.

He nodded. “I did, and I still do. But I feel a responsibility towards the pack. I know I’m not Beta material, nor do I want to be, but you need someone at your side. If you’ll have me,” he added humbly.

“Luna, Alpha Kairos is in a bad way, and word of what’s to come has spread.”

So they knew. They knew Kairos was going to die. But they only knew Burton’s plan, not mine.

“I want you to know that the pack… They believe this is the best course of action. No one objected to relocating to our neighboring pack.”

“But do they know that they’ll return once this is over?” I asked. I didn’t want them to think this was a permanent move.

He hesitated. “I…think so. They support you, so I would assume they do.” He didn’t sound very confident. But what was he unsure of? That he believed it, or that the pack supported me?

“Well, make sure they do.” I managed a smile and was about to leave when Death appeared in the corner of the room. “Get them ready. I’ll be down in a minute.” Nathan nodded and closed the door behind him.

Death leaned down to kiss my cheek. “How are you, love?” he asked.

He took a seat across from me at the desk. “I saw your people all packed up.” I nodded. His eyes scanned the room. We sat in silence for a while.

But he kept his gaze on me, and I held his stare. It felt like a staring contest. He didn’t look pleased. “Did you tell Kairos?”

I nodded. “I did.”

“And what did he say?” he asked, his eyes narrowing.

“It’s happening.” His jaw tightened at my response.

“You’re lying.”

“I’ve already informed him about our plan. It’s in motion. He’s aware,” I said.

“You’re lying,” he retorted.

“Dad, I’m not lying. The plan won’t work if he’s kept in the dark.”

His laughter echoed in the room. “I believe you’ve told him. What I can’t wrap my head around is that he’s aware of the risks and still okay with it.”

“The risk doesn’t concern him,” I shot back.

“The risks that involve you are the only ones he’s worried about. If I know him well enough, that’s all he’d care about.” He leaned in, resting his elbows on the table.

“And that’s why you didn’t tell him that Christopher’s soul might get trapped inside you. That it might cling to your death angel part. That he might get permanently locked inside your soul.

“Kairos would never agree to that.”

“It’s not a certainty.” My response was barely above a whisper.

“You could suffer for the rest of your life,” he added.

I nodded. “I know, and that’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

“My own daughter isn’t even afraid of Death.” His voice was tinged with disappointment.

“It would be ironic if I was.” He didn’t appreciate my attempt at humor.

Instead, he reached into his pocket and pulled out something. I heard the clink of chains. It was a worn gold pocket watch. His lips tightened.

“It’s stuck. They tend to do that when the future is uncertain.” So it was my time. “I can’t guarantee whether you’ll survive or not.”

I knew these clocks were sacred to him, and the law above him forbade him from showing them to me. He wasn’t supposed to monitor them. Yet he had mine.

My shoulders sagged.

“What if everything they say is true? That it’s over? That it’s finally over, before it even really began. How many more times can I fight and come out victorious? There will come a time when I lose, and what if this is it?”

“The clock isn’t certain, but it stopped before you lost your wolf. It was frozen for a few weeks. And when you went to Aldred, it was the same.

“It’s because when major changes from your normal life happen, the ones that might not be intended for you but are just part of life… fate doesn’t really plan on it.

“It ends how it ends. Love, the battles aren’t for nothing. Even the bad ones serve a good purpose,” he said.

“Of course, because everything always ends well, right?” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “There’s always a rainbow after the rain. Always some kind of golden glimmer of hope.

“Well, I don’t want it!” I spat out. “I just want Kairos back. I don’t want a happy ending. I don’t need that golden light. I just need him back and safe. I don’t even need him to be with me.

“I just want to know that he’s okay, all right?” I whimpered. “I just need to know he’s alive and well. That’s all.”

“What about you?” Death asked. “You don’t know what’s at the end. You don’t know if anyone will be there. But you know that you’ll be there at the end.

“What will you do when all you’ve given away leads to a bad ending?” He wore that familiar look of slight disappointment.

“You are the most important person you have. You are your own best friend and your own worst enemy.”

I smiled through the tears I was holding back. “Sometimes a piece of lint is worth everything.

“If I know that that lint has made me feel complete for the first time, and that even if I suffer for a thousand years, that will be the thing that keeps me sane.”

“Don’t act on impulse,” he warned, his tone laced with annoyance.

I simply shrugged. “I apologize… I realize my actions may seem irrational. I know you’re concerned. But didn’t you lose your senses when you first met my mother?

“You, Death, fell for a mortal. You did everything you weren’t supposed to. You knew she couldn’t be with you forever. Yet, you chose her anyway.”

His annoyance seemed to dissipate as his gaze fixed on a distant point. “I shouldn’t have pursued her. Her fate would have been different if I hadn’t come back into her life. She might have lived longer.

“I didn’t want to pull her away from her world, didn’t want to make her flee from life. But I did. And she paid the price. Yet, it was beautiful. It was lovely. Love is painful.

“It wouldn’t hold any worth if it wasn’t.” A slow smile spread across his face. “She gave me more than I ever hoped to receive.”

Tears welled up in my eyes. “You see? You understand that love can drive you to madness. So why accuse me of being reckless and naive, and claim that I’m all alone?

“I have Kairos. I want him in my life. You understand, yet you belittle me for it.”

He leaned across the table, taking my hands in his. “I never said I didn’t understand,” he murmured, “but it’s my own selfishness and greed that makes me say those things to you.” His words left me puzzled.

“They told me Death shouldn’t experience love. That I will inevitably lose it. When there’s no one left to see me, no living soul to sense my presence, I’ll be alone once again.”

A single tear trickled down his cheek. I reached up to wipe it away.

I could give him someone else to love. A grandchild who would love him just as much as I did. “Then let me help you,” I proposed.

“Let me protect the life growing inside me. If I survive tomorrow, you’ll have a little soul who can see you in this world.”

He leaned back, his lips parting slowly in surprise.