Chapter 13: Alpha's Secret

Adelie

Suddenly, Alpha halted. My breath hitched in my throat.

His eyes closed and he stepped back, his jaw set in a grim line of anger.

A wave of sadness washed over me. He could never truly love me.

“Are you seriously contemplating it?” He questioned.

“Not about leaving. I’d rather stay here than go anywhere else. You could let her stay,” I suggested.

“No! Don’t you get it?” His voice was laced with fury.

“Get what?” I asked, puzzled.

“I don’t want you training to become stronger, more powerful,” he said, his breaths coming in measured gasps.

“Why?” I asked, my voice wavering. Mates were supposed to support each other, to make each other stronger.

A sudden defiance surged within me. I wanted this even more now because he didn’t. I’d never felt the need to be more than I was, but Jasmin said I could be.

I felt the pain from all the healing. If I was stronger, I could help more. If I was stronger, I wouldn’t have to live in fear. I could protect the pack and myself. My mother had protected me my whole life.

Now, it was my turn to protect myself, even if it meant going against her advice not to use my powers.

“I want to become stronger. I want to be able to protect myself and others. I want to live without fear,” I told him, my voice steady and firm.

“I can protect you!” He countered, his voice challenging mine.

“You can’t. You know you can’t. Only I can protect myself,” I said, stepping closer to him.

“I will train, and nothing or no one can stop me,” I declared, turning to leave. But he grabbed my hand, stopping me.

“Do you want to know what happened to the previous Luna?” He asked, his question catching me off guard. This was the first time he’d mentioned her.

“She wanted power. Just like you, she wasn’t a regular werewolf. She got her power from dark magic,” he continued, his voice laced with venom. He spoke of his original mate with such hatred. My confidence wavered.

“Do you want to know how it ended?” He asked. I didn’t answer. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it. “I killed her,” he said. My knees buckled. That couldn’t be true. Mates couldn’t hurt each other.

“I... I... don’t believe you,” I stammered.

Alpha released me. I stumbled back, but managed to keep my balance. “Raphael!” He bellowed.

Raphael rushed into the room, looking around. “Wh...” he began.

“Did I kill my mate?” Alpha interrupted him.

Raphael looked taken aback. “It wasn’t...”

“Yes or no?” Alpha roared, his growl vibrating beneath my feet. His face was flushed with anger.

I looked at Raphael. He didn’t meet my gaze, but turned slightly towards me. “Yes,” he admitted.

How could one kill their mate? How cruel, how twisted and evil would one have to be?

Alpha approached me and I backed away. “I strangled her with my own bare hands,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

I could almost feel his hands around my neck. If someone could kill their mate, they were heartless. Alpha Kairos was heartless. I was certain of it now.

I seized my chance and bolted from the room. I ran past Jasmin and out into the open. I ran towards the forest, my sanctuary.

I ran, just as I had when I escaped Alpha Hans after his pack member killed my mother.

I found myself by a lake in the middle of the forest. I thought about Alpha Hans. He hadn’t killed my mother, but he had rejected me.

My heart belonged to him, completely. If he were here now, asking me to return, I wouldn’t hesitate. He was my soulmate.

Yet, Alpha Kairos had wounded me in ways no one else could. He’d taken the life of his own mate, and still, I loved him. How could I love such a beast?

Tears streamed down my face, and then I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder. It was Jasmin.

“You don’t have the full picture,” she said.

“About what?” I asked, confused.

“Her name was Mia,” she began, settling down beside me. She was referring to the former Luna.

“She got mixed up with some dangerous magic. Once she became the official Luna of our pack, she turned her back on us, and on Kairos,” Jasmin stared into the distance, took a deep breath, and continued her tale.

“She had ambitions to overthrow the Alpha King, starting with our pack. She lost her mind and killed two thousand of our own. Only about two hundred survived, and they’re all here in this pack. Kairos had no other choice.”

He had killed his other half, his destined mate, to save his pack. That’s why everyone in this pack revered him. Jasmin continued to speak.

“He blames himself for what happened. He believes he was blinded by love and vowed to never let it happen again. I don’t think he ever believed he deserved a second chance mate,” she explained. By now, my tears had dried.

“The Moon Goddess only grants a second chance to those she deems worthy. Kairos lost so much, and this pack is led by the strongest Alpha of them all. I hope he lets you in someday,” she finished, then walked away.

Alpha was afraid I’d turn out like Mia, that I’d harm others. He was a broken man, carrying a burden of guilt that wasn’t his to bear.

I spent the entire day in the forest, lost in thought and daydreams. What if Alpha Hans hadn’t rejected me? What if Mia hadn’t gone rogue? What if I were just a regular werewolf?

Every now and then, guards would appear from behind the trees. I didn’t mind. I figured Alpha wanted to know if I’d run off yet. I wasn’t sure if he wanted to see me or not.

But I knew I wasn’t going anywhere. If Alpha ever decided to love again, I’d be right here. Alpha Kairos was the most revered and powerful of all Alphas.

As night fell, I made my way back to the house. I needed to see Alpha. Luckily, Beta was out front. “Adelie, there you are,” he said, clapping his hands together. “I thought you’d decided to sleep in the forest.”

“Where’s Alpha?” I demanded. My tone seemed to surprise him.

“He’s in his room. I can mind-link him if you’d like,” he offered.

“No. Don’t tell him. Where’s his room?” I asked.

Raphael was usually chatty and flirtatious around me, but now he was all business. I knew he had his duties, but Alpha couldn’t keep shutting me out.

“Alpha doesn’t want you in the left wing,” he explained.

“Where is his room?” I asked again, my voice firm.

Raphael shifted uncomfortably. “Adelie, for your own good, he’s already angry about everything.”

“For your own good, tell me. I am your Luna.”

He nodded in defeat. “The furthest room, the one with the grand door. You can’t miss it.”

“Thank you, Raphael. I won’t mention you told me.” I walked past him.

“Be careful,” he called after me.

I ascended the stairs. I’d never been to this part of the house before. The left wing was off-limits to me, but now I was striding down the hallway as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

There were many rooms, too many to count, but I kept walking until I reached the grand doors. I paused in front of them, not questioning whether I should knock or turn back.

I knew I needed to be here. Alpha would have to hear me out. If he truly wanted me to stay, this was his chance to say so.

Jasmin had told me my powers were something special. It didn’t make me power-hungry, but it did give me a boost of confidence. If it weren’t for the residual ache from my recent healing, I felt like I could move mountains.

I rapped on the door. After a moment, a gruff “Come in” echoed from the other side. He sounded annoyed.

Pushing the door open, I found Alpha already staring at me, his face a mask of surprise.

He didn’t say a word, just kept his gaze fixed on me. I shut the door behind me. “Where were you?” He asked, feigning ignorance.

“You’re the one who sent those guards after me,” I retorted, stepping further into the expansive bedroom.

His jaw clenched. “They were spies. Terrible ones, apparently.”

“I could’ve run away,” I pointed out, his eyes tracking my every move. “You said you needed me here, but you didn’t come after me.” His expression softened slightly. I wanted him to know I wanted him.

“You wanted me to come after you?” He questioned.

“I wanted a sign that you cared. That you still wanted me here. Having someone spy on me isn’t exactly...kind,” I replied.

“Alone in a forest with me!” He exclaimed. I listened intently. “Wouldn’t you be afraid I’d kill you? I did it once to my mate. Why not again?” He seemed to believe he was a monster. My heart pounded in my chest.

“You did it because you had no other choice. You’re a good man!” I pleaded, hoping he’d believe me. My eyes welled up with tears, but I fought to keep them at bay.

Alpha laughed, a bitter, hollow sound. He strode over to his desk, grabbed a bottle of rum, and hurled it across the room. It shattered into pieces. I flinched and let out a small cry. “I’m no good. Can’t you see I didn’t want a second chance?”

My heart broke all over again. Why was I here if he didn’t want me? Why was I trying to understand him? The feeling in my stomach was the exact opposite of butterflies. It was a heavy, sinking sensation.

I didn’t care if Alpha saw me cry. I let the tears fall. He wasn’t looking at me, but something in his stance told me he knew I was crying.

I took a deep breath, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. “Reject me,” I managed to choke out.

Alpha turned to face me. “W...What?” He looked like he was trying to see into my soul, his mouth slightly agape.

“Reject me now and free yourself from me,” I said.

Alpha took a few steps closer. “Adelie, it would kill us both,” he warned.

“We’re not mated, and you haven’t marked me, so that’s a plus,” I tried to joke. “You’re strong. You’ll be okay. And I...I’ll manage somehow,” I assured him.

I was prepared for rejection. Somehow, I’d get through it. I hoped.

“Adelie, I could never do that. I need you,” he confessed, a single tear slipping from his eye. He took a step closer, but I backed away, stopping him in his tracks.

I shook my head. “Why are you hurting me so much?” I sobbed.

“Adelie…” he began, but I bolted from his room, retreating to my own, which felt colder and lonelier than ever.