Chapter 19: Kairos' True Feelings

Adelie

Kairos must have realized he was my mate by now.

I glanced around, noticing Jasmin, Beta, and Helen also present, their faces mirroring my shock. Two other males stood behind Alpha Hans.

I felt the weight of everyone’s gaze on me. I turned to Kairos, his head was lowered but his lethal stare was unmistakable.

I was at a loss for what to do. If I could have melted into the ground and vanished, I would have. I needed a thesaurus to articulate the whirlwind of emotions inside me. Guilt was the most prominent, stemming from my lie to Kairos.

My gaze darted between Kairos and Alpha Hans. My two mates were standing right in front of me. Werewolves are blessed with one true mate to love for a lifetime...I had two.

I looked at Kairos. He felt my gaze and looked up.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. My voice was barely audible, but I knew he heard me. Tears streamed down my face.

“Adelie...” Alpha Hans began, attempting to step closer. A fierce growl from Kairos made him recoil. He looked down, “Alpha Kairos, is she your...?” He trailed off, unable to finish the question.

“Mate,” Kairos growled, “Adelie is my mate.” It was the first time he had referred to me as his mate.

The tension between them was palpable. I was relieved when Beta Raphael intervened.

“I think it would be best if we discussed this,” he suggested, stepping between them. He said ‘we’ but it wasn’t his conversation to have. “Adelie, Alpha Kairos, Alpha Hans, please come to the library.”

I was taken aback when Kairos didn’t protest. Instead, he led the way. Kairos and Alpha Hans entered the library, I waited for Raphael.

“I’ll be here if things get out of hand,” he assured me, taking his position outside the library door. I nodded, understanding there was no need for Raphael to be present. This was our issue to resolve. If I hadn’t lied about my mate, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

As the door closed behind me, Kairos approached. “You lied!” he accused, his anger quickly replaced with a pleading tone.

“You’re a liar,” he stated, causing my heart to shatter. He was right, I had lied about everything to him. Was it even worth it?

“I’m sorry,” I sobbed.

“Why did you claim your original mate was dead?” he demanded, as I tried to avoid his condemning gaze. “You said there was no one else...” He had every right to be angry with me, and it made me feel even worse. I was the one who had caused this, it was entirely my fault.

“Why does she have to explain anything to you? She doesn’t owe you anything. You haven’t even marked her,” Alpha Hans defended me. Why was he defending me?

Kairos stormed over to him, causing Alpha Hans to flinch in fear. He tried to hide his fear as Kairos seethed. “You are in my territory, respect it!” Kairos commanded before turning back to me.

There was no point in lying anymore, he already thought I was a liar. “Because I am ashamed that I wasn’t good enough for him, I was ready to do anything to be a worthy mate to you.”

I continued, “And lying was easier than admitting I wasn’t good enough for the one person who was supposed to love me when no one else, besides my parents, did.” I confessed, crying harder than ever before.

Kairos looked into my eyes. “Wasn’t good enough?” he questioned.

I tried to respond but the words wouldn’t come.

Alpha Hans interrupted, “I rejected her,” he admitted, our eyes meeting. “It was the cruelest thing I have ever done, and I regret it every day.”

I saw remorse in his eyes, he truly regretted it. “If I could turn back time, I would. If you could forgive me, I would love you like I should have in the first place.” He confessed, his gaze locked on me, with Kairos listening.

His gaze had softened, no longer filled with anger. He was looking down again, and I could feel my tears threatening to spill. “I felt the pain when you chose to mark and mate with another she-wolf,” I said, my voice laced with bitterness. “I feel the pain it causes me every day.”

“I know, Adelie,” he replied, taking a few steps closer. “I was selfish. I sought a Luna for my pack, tried to forget you. But she found her mate and I couldn’t be with her. I didn’t want to be with her. It was always you I wanted.”

I glanced at Kairos, his gaze still fixed on the ground. He looked miserable from where I stood. “I found my second chance mate,” I told Alpha Hans.

“I am your original mate, Adelie. Please, forgive me for my sins. He hasn’t marked you yet, you still have a choice,” he said, stepping closer. I took a step back, and he stopped.

Silence hung between us, broken only by Kairos’ sudden shout. “Raphael!” he called, and Raphael burst into the room. “Get Jasmin,” Kairos ordered, and Raphael didn’t hesitate.

The tension was palpable as we waited for Jasmin. When she arrived, she looked around, taking in the scene. “What can I do?” she asked, her gaze moving between us.

“Adelie,” Kairos said, and I looked up at him. “Will you give Jasmin your hand?” he asked. I nodded, not daring to question him.

“Use your sight, Jasmin. Tell me who she loves more,” Kairos instructed. I was taken aback. I didn’t know who I loved more. He turned to me. “If it’s Hans, I’ll let you go. If not, I can’t lose you.”

Jasmin didn’t hesitate. She took my hand, and I saw the rainbow in her eyes as she delved into my mind. It felt like she was pulling my thoughts from me, thoughts that were meant only for me.

When she released my hand, her eyes were back to normal. She looked at Kairos and Alpha Hans. “I can only see her mind, not her heart. But according to her mind, she loves you both equally. Only her heart knows who she truly loves. Only Adelie knows.”

Kairos turned to me. “Adelie?” he asked, wanting to know who I loved. But I didn’t know.

I knew I couldn’t be with both of them. I could say any name, and it would change my future. It was my choice, but my heart wasn’t giving me any answers. Neither was Madeline.

“I don’t know,” I admitted, tears streaming down my face. Were they tears of pain, or tears of guilt for hurting two people I cared about with my indecision?

“Please…” Kairos began. I thought he was going to ask me to choose him, but instead he said, “Figure it out as soon as you can.” Then he stormed out of the library, leaving me with Alpha Hans and Jasmin.

I couldn’t stay there either. I wasn’t ready to talk to Alpha Hans. I knew I would have to eventually, but not now.

Kairos

I couldn’t stand to be in the same room with them any longer. I left them there together. Hans was Adelie’s original mate.

That bond is the strongest known to werewolves. Compared to that, I was nothing.

But how could he be more deserving than me when he had rejected Adelie? How could he do something so cruel to her?

She told a lie, driven by fear that she wouldn't measure up to my expectations. But the truth is, I'm the one who doesn't deserve her love. How can she possibly love me as much as she loves him?

She loves us both, equally. If her love for Hans is so profound, what more can I bring to the table? Adelie will have to choose. And when she does, Hans will vanish from my life.

But the uncertainty gnaws at me. I don't know if she'll choose him. If she does, I won't try to sway her. As much as it would shatter me, I want her to be happy.

All the pain Adelie has endured, all the heartache, it's all because of Hans. If I had claimed her, she wouldn't be suffering. If I hadn't been such a fool, if I had loved her from the start, she would be mine. Have I lost her already?

I was in my study when Raphael barged in, not bothering to knock. “You can't possibly let him stay here,” he blurted out.

“And why not?” I asked, my voice steady. How can I remain so calm when the woman I'm supposed to love could walk out of my life at any moment?

All the rumors about me, that I'm heartless, devoid of empathy or sympathy, they're not true. I feel, sometimes I think I feel too much. But I've learned to shut it all out. As the Alpha of this pack, I can't let my emotions rule me, no matter how much it hurts.

“Alpha Hans is Adelie’s mate. Don't you think he'll take her away if he gets the chance?” Raphael was exasperated with me. He always was when I shut myself off.

“It's her choice. It always has been,” I replied, leaning back in my chair. “I've loved once. It was a complete disaster, but I loved it. Adelie has the right to be happy, to love. Even if it's not with me. She deserves happiness.”

Raphael approached my desk. “You love her, Kairos,” he said, looking me straight in the eyes. “Fight for her. If she chooses Hans, at least you'll know you fought for her. If you don't, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.” He wasn't wrong.

“What should I do?” I asked. “All I can do is wait for her decision.”

“Tell her,” he said, his voice firm and clear. “Tell her how much you love her. Go now and tell her, make her listen to your heart. Do it for yourself and for the pack.”

“The pack?” I asked, puzzled.

Raphael nodded. “The pack couldn't ask for a better Luna. Now go to her, she's in the forest, you'll sense her.” I rose from my chair.

I needed her. I needed to tell her I loved her. It's true what they say, you don't know what you have until you're about to lose it. But I've always known what a gift it was to have her as my mate. I just never thought I could lose her like this.

The sky was growing dark. I didn't waste any time and ran towards the forest. I couldn't let her go without a fight.

Once in the forest, I let Kye take over my senses. I had to find her. She wasn't far. After a short walk, I saw her standing in a lake.

She was holding up her dress with one hand to keep it dry, while with the other she gently placed a flower crown in the water. I didn't make a sound, I didn't want to interrupt her.

This whole nymph thing was new and strange to me. But even if her dominant side wasn't nymph-like, as Jasmin said, I knew she was a nymph at heart.

I leaned against a maple tree and Adelie turned her head slightly towards me. She couldn't see me fully, but she should have caught a glimpse of me from the corner of her eye.

She didn't seem angry, just wore a warm, simple smile. She watched the flower crown float away with the wind, then turned around and walked out of the water.

“This is for my mom,” she confessed, her gaze fixed on her feet. “I’m not sure if she can hear me, maybe I’m just a fool for believing. But I always wish she was here, that I could talk to her.”

She went on. “At worst, I’m just talking to thin air, at best... she’s there, listening.”

She let out a small laugh. “How bleak it is to hope for anything in life. The love we crave, the safety and happiness of our loved ones.”

She stepped out of the water, but lingered at the lake’s edge. “None of the things we hope for last. That’s the harsh reality of this life we lead. Hoping and dreaming for something beyond the mundane, the gloom.”

Adelie turned her back to me, her gaze following the flower crown as it drifted away on the lake.

“I was part of the Dark Moon Pack. On my eighteenth birthday, I opened my front door to find Alpha Hans. The mate pull that werewolves live and die for. The feeling that he was the one for me, forever.”

She spoke of him as if he were her sun. Her only true longing.

“But in that same moment, he rejected me, said I wouldn’t make a good Luna.” I moved a bit closer to her. “I lost control and those damn black smokes erupted from me. The guards were frightened and tried to kill me, but my mom jumped in front of me, taking the blade meant for me in her chest.”

Her voice was steady, almost serene. “I blame myself every day. Despite what my dad says, I know it was my fault. I couldn’t control my powers, that’s why she’s dead. She always told me to hide them, so no one would find out. She could still be alive.”

“If Hans hadn’t rejected you...” I began, but quickly stopped myself. What was I doing? Using her mother’s death to make myself seem like a better mate? How could I be so selfish?

“It wasn’t his fault,” she defended him, her tone sharp and firm. “I don’t blame him. I saw his guilt and regret that day, he didn’t want that to happen. It hurt, of course, but my mother’s death wasn’t his fault.”

She took a deep breath. “Anyway, why are you here? I assume you have a reason other than just taking a stroll,” she said, her hair dancing in the wind.

“To talk to you,” I replied.

“About what?” she retorted.

I managed a chuckle. “You know, what makes us similar is the guilt we carry, even when everyone tells us it’s not our fault.”

I moved closer to her, close enough that if she turned to face me, it would be too close for comfort. “I loved my mate Mia like nothing else, she made me feel a love I didn’t know existed. She was my sun and my moon. I saw only her, no one else.

“I overlooked every flaw, every dark spot she had. Her darkness seemed light to me. Love blinded me and I realized too late what she was doing. She loved me, I know she did, but she loved power more. With her help, I destroyed this pack.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Kairos,” she said, glancing at me.

“Everyone keeps telling me that, but... but if only I had seen beyond love, none of this would have happened. From that day, I vowed never to let love blind me again. To not love at all. And then I found you.”

I continued. “You made it impossible for me. I was scared of the feelings I had for you, tried to push them away so I wouldn’t repeat my mistakes.”

She crossed her arms as I spoke. “But it seemed like it was too late when I realized that my feelings, or you, weren't my weakness, they were my strength. My feelings for you were never my blindness, they were my sight. You are everything to me, always will be.”

I shut my eyes, inhaling deeply. “Adelie, I...I think I’m in love with you,” I confessed, my gaze seeking hers for some kind of response. “Maybe I’m too late, though...”

“Do you have any idea what rejection feels like?” she asked, not waiting for my reply. “It’s like a knife to the heart. It’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt,” she sobbed.

Her voice trembled, revealing her tears. “But...” But what? “But you...you hurt me even more...” Her words felt like a punch to my gut. “You pushed me away without even knowing it,” she added.

Adelie spun on her heel, heading towards the pack house. She paused, casting a look back at me. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for deceiving you about everything,” she said, before resuming her walk. I watched her until she disappeared from sight. She was gone. I could only hope it was temporary.