Chapter 36: Death Wish

Kairos

I felt like a prisoner in my own body. I could hear the voices around me, but I couldn’t even muster the strength to open my eyes.

There was no pain, no sensation at all.

I was barely there, just a shell lying there, listening to the world go on around me. I was nothing more than a void. I prayed for my senses to return, to feel anything at all...

And then there was Adelie. My Adelie, blaming herself because she couldn’t heal me.

This wasn’t her fault. I could hear her tears, but I couldn’t reach out to comfort her, couldn’t gaze into her tear-filled eyes and wipe her tears away.

I didn’t want her to live like this, to sit by my bedside and weep until I drew my last breath. If this was to be my fate, then I begged the Moon Goddess to take me into her arms and look after Adelie.

I would accept defeat to any man who could love Adelie in the ways I no longer could. I would bless Adelie’s love for another man, just as long as she could find happiness. She shouldn’t have to bear the burden of me.

I remembered what had happened. I had already left the castle, thinking there were no rogues around, and shifted into my human form. My wolf was weak, and I had been bitten by several other wolves.

There was a sharp, burning sensation in my bones, like silver.

I don’t remember how it got there, but it felt like fire in my wound. I called for help, but a rogue saw an opportunity to attack me. He pounced, breaking my spine and several ribs, before sinking his teeth into my shoulder.

I felt the sting of silver in my shoulder. They must have had silver in their fangs. The last thing I truly felt was the excruciating pain of the silver. Adelie couldn’t heal me because my body was already dead. I was clinging to life, but I didn’t even want it.

It felt like I had been lying there for an eternity, in a state of constant nothingness. But then something strange happened. It was as if I was living in a dream.

I was standing next to my own body in my room. I looked down at myself, then at my hands and feet. I couldn’t feel anything, but I could move and see. I wasn’t alone in the room. There was a man in a black coat leaning against my wall, flipping a dime in his hand.

“Who are you?” I asked him. He looked up at me and straightened up.

He tossed the dime into the air, making me flinch when he barely caught it. He laughed. “I am the one thing unknown to all of you. The one mystery that remains undiscovered. I am Death,” he said, stepping out of the shadows.

I had to confirm. “Adelie’s father?” I asked.

“And he’s smart too,” Death mocked me. “Tell me, what is it about you that makes my daughter choose you?” he asked, sitting down in my armchair.

“What choice?” I asked.

He ignored my question. “Why do you think you love her?” he asked, watching the dime fly up and down as he tossed it.

He was testing me. “I don’t think that,” I smirked at him as he caught the dime sharply.

Death clenched his jaw at me, but I spoke before he could. “I don’t think I love her, I know I love her. I’m so sure of my love for her that nothing else matters. I would bet the world that there’s no other love like mine,” I said.

I went on. “Even the word love doesn’t fully express what I feel for her. If there’s something beyond love, that’s what I feel.”

He watched me for a moment. “What don’t you like about her?” He wanted to see me falter, but I wouldn’t. My love for her was real.

“I hate that she can’t see herself the way I see her. How truly incredible she is, how beautiful, intelligent, and strong she is,” I said.

Death averted his gaze from me. “Her only flaw, I’d say, is her choice in men,” he stated, rising to his feet. “I’ve seen how you treated Adelie in the past. That’s something I can’t forgive you for,” he confessed, and I couldn’t help but agree with him.

“But you know, they say Death is forgiving... I’ve also seen the good in you. I know you love her, and she loves you,” he admitted.

He moved towards the window, crossing his arms over his chest. “Sometimes, I grant wishes. When people have been good, I give them this,” he said, holding up a small coin. “I call it a Death wish. Since no one can usually see me, I can only give it to them on their deathbed, allowing them to make their final wish. But it can’t be used to save their own life,” he explained, pausing for my reaction.

Was this my fate? “Is that my dime?” I asked him.

He turned to face me, holding the dime up to my eye level. “This?” he asked, chuckling. “No, not at all. You’re a good leader to your pack, and you’ve done good for others. You’ve suffered a lot. You deserve a dime like this, but this isn’t yours.”

I was puzzled. “Then whose is it?” I asked him.

“It’s Adelie’s,” he clarified, but that only confused me more.

“Why do you have it?” I questioned.

“Adelie received her wish a while ago. She could use it whenever she wanted. And she chose to use it now. To heal you,” he revealed.

What? No! I couldn’t let her do that. “No! She could have anything in the world, and she used it on me?” I asked him, and he simply nodded.

“I don’t want it. Give it back to her. I can’t let her waste her wish on me,” I protested.

He moved closer to me. “She’s already made her wish,” he stated.

I shook my head. “She’ll regret it. I’m not worthy of her wish,” I argued.

“Son,” he began, placing his hand on my shoulder. I couldn’t feel it, but the gesture was clear. “I once thought I was a monster... but I can’t be a monster if I have a daughter like her. If someone like Adelie loves you, you are worth it.”

He continued, “And remember, you are worthy of her wish. You are the happiness she needs. Be there for her, love her as you should. I thought she was foolish for making this her wish, but now I understand. You are the one thing in the world she needs. Make me proud, take care of her when I can’t.”

A single tear slipped from my right eye. Death held up the dime, but I had one more question for him. “Wait,” I said, and he froze. “Will you give me your daughter's hand in marriage?” I asked him, and for the first time, something shifted in his gaze.

“There is no man I would rather give my daughter away to than you,” he said, tossing the dime into the air. I watched as everything around me began to disappear, piece by piece. And then, all at once... I felt my entire body explode with energy.