Chapter 62: Chapter 62

Adelie

I can still recall the piercing scream that escaped my lips, the way my knees buckled as I fell beside his lifeless body. His skin was already taking on a ghostly pallor, his eyes wide and vacant.

Suddenly, he was clad in a pristine white suit, a stark contrast to the dark red blood that was gushing from his chest. I felt a wave of nausea wash over me, but oddly enough, there was no heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

He was lying there, lifeless, and all I could muster was shock. It was strange, but where was the sorrow?

What was going on? Kairos was sprawled out in front of me, devoid of life, and I felt nothing. It was as if this was just another ordinary occurrence, as if it didn’t affect me at all.

“Kairos,” I whispered, my voice barely audible, yet it seemed to echo farther than I expected. I pushed myself up, confusion clouding my mind, a sense of déjà vu washing over me.

I felt as if I had witnessed this scene before, but where? Or perhaps I had experienced this feeling before. But how could that be?

I glanced over my shoulder to find the house looming behind me. My gaze returned to where Kairos had been, but he was gone. Not a single trace of blood remained.

I stumbled backward, my foot catching on the doorstep, and I fell. I fell so far back that I was jolted awake from my dream.

I was lying in bed, shivering in the cold, tears frozen on my cheeks. My lips felt dry and chapped, my cheeks heavy and tingling from the cold. The sweat from my forehead had seeped into my hair, forming icy droplets.

“Finally, you’re awake,” Esty’s voice rang out from across the room. She sounded cheerful, almost jovial. Finally? How long had I been unconscious?

It was only then that I realized it had all been a dream, and it hadn’t even felt real. Now it seemed foolish not to have recognized it as a dream sooner.

I turned my head to the side, the crunch of my frozen hair echoing in my ears. My neck felt stiff and uncomfortable from the high pillow my head was resting on.

I lifted my gaze to the clock, which now looked like any other clock: ordinary and unremarkable. I had been out for ten hours—ten hours that felt like mere minutes.

“It looks like it's working,” Esty said, her smile wide as she approached me. What was working? I felt nauseous, my head throbbing with a pulsating pain.

I could hear her footsteps growing closer, each one sounding like a thunderous stomp. My eyes fluttered shut, but I was fully aware of my surroundings, of where I was, and what was happening.

I didn’t realize Esty was next to me until I felt a slight pinch in my upper arm. I opened my eyes to see her injecting something into me.

I didn’t resist. I didn’t have the strength to fight back. She didn’t explain what she was doing, but after a while, I noticed that I was starting to feel slightly better.

My mouth was parched, but I managed to speak. “I feel awful,” I told her, but she just chuckled dismissively.

“Soon, you will feel just fine—or you ~should~ feel fine,” she said. “As for now, it seems like everything is working perfectly, and maybe you will need even fewer doses than I thought.”

She spoke with such pride and confidence. I propped myself up on my elbows, still mindful of the exhaustion I was feeling.

“I had a strange dream,” I said, squinting against the bright light in the room, which hadn’t seemed so bright when I first arrived.

She didn’t respond. What did my dreams matter to her anyway?

“What did you give me?” I asked, quickly correcting myself. “What did you inject into me?”

She seemed to avoid my gaze, as if she wanted to look at me but couldn’t bring herself to do so. She took a seat at the room’s only table, sinking into an upholstered chair.

“It does not concern you, and it will be better with you not knowing it anyway,” she said.

I was more curious than ever. “I think I have a right to know what you’re giving me. Doesn’t my choice to be here count for anything? At least answer my questions.”

“Your willingness is the very reason I’m keeping it from you. I need you to stay willing, and if I tell you what’s in there, you won’t like it.”

Her words were sharp, each one slicing through the air. I knew then that I wouldn’t get the answers I was seeking.

“Besides, I’ve been good to you. The last dose I gave you isn’t part of the process. It’s more of a pick-me-up, to help you get back on your feet quicker.”

She spoke as if she was some kind of savior.

It dawned on me how long I’d been here. Kairos must be worried sick by now. Even though I’d told him I’d be away, I knew he’d be up all night waiting for me.

“Can I go now?” I asked, sitting up straight.

Esty shrugged. “I don’t need you at the moment. If you feel up to it, you can leave,” she said. I immediately stood up.

I regretted it instantly. If there hadn’t been a chair next to the bed to lean on, I would have collapsed. My head was spinning, and I realized my legs were weaker than I’d thought.

“Think you can handle it?” Esty asked, devoid of any sympathy.

“I just need the forest,” I said, making my way to the door. It was all I needed to regain my strength.

“Don’t bother,” she said, and I turned to look at her. “You won’t be able to connect with nature until the dose is out of your system,” she explained.

I faced her, my mind still foggy. I didn’t quite understand what she was saying. “What do you mean?” I asked. “How long until the dose wears off?”

She shrugged.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” I asked, my voice rising. “I’m a nymph. I need nature. What did you give me?” I demanded, but my anger was weak.

“You’ll be okay,” she said, rolling her eyes. “For a little while, nature will feel distant. It’s normal. It’ll come back. Don’t worry.”

How could I exist without my element? How could she be so dismissive of the core of my being? I turned and left the house.

In the early morning light, the ground was blanketed in a sheer mist. I looked back to see the house had disappeared.

It was gone, and I was alone in the forest. But now I knew the way home. I recognized where I was, remembered the small details, a bent branch I knew I couldn’t miss.

I fell to my knees, taking deep breaths, and placed my hands flat on the ground. I tried to feel it, tried to sense the bond between me and nature, but I couldn’t.

Where was the spirit that was so familiar, so deeply rooted in the darkest forest where my own emerald heart resided? I couldn’t feel anything… not a single spark of nature.

Was this how everyone else felt? Surrounded by nature but not feeling it—how could that be normal?

This wasn’t normal. A part of me was missing. How was I supposed to get it back? And why did I feel like I couldn’t feel anything at all?

I got up and went to the lake, the only lake that mattered to me. I stood in the water and looked at my reflection.

I didn’t recognize myself. My hair looked lifeless. My eyes lacked their usual sparkle. I didn’t like what I saw.

I’d left my cardigan at Esty’s house, and my bare arms were on display, revealing the blue mark from the injection. Veins were prominent all over my arm, and my neck was badly bruised.

I looked at my reflection again and saw another one beside it. The one I’d lost in my dream.

I spun around, falling into his embrace, my arms clinging to him. He held me tight, his head resting on mine.

“Adelie… how…” His voice faltered. “How are you?”

Of all the questions he could have asked, that was his choice.

He pulled back from our hug, studying my face, his gaze drifting to my arm. His eyes were weary and bloodshot.

He hadn’t slept. I knew he wouldn’t have, just as I hadn’t. How could he rest, not knowing if I’d return alive from wherever I was headed?

“Sweet moon goddess,” he sighed, “You look terrible. What can I do? How can I make you better?”

I tilted my head, a mistake. A high-pitched noise rang in my ear. I felt awful, lifeless.

It wasn’t physical pain or exhaustion. It was the absence of nature within me.

They say you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Right then, I was gone. I’d lost myself. I didn’t know how to exist without it.

Kairos couldn’t help me when I didn’t even understand myself, didn’t understand how ordinary people lived without this sensation.

Nothing looked the same. The earth no longer comforted me. I was barefoot, but all I felt was cold.

“Can’t you draw energy from…,” he began, but I shook my head, cutting him off.

He removed his jacket, draping it over my shoulders. “Let’s get you home before anyone notices. We don’t need people asking questions.”

He tried to guide me out of the forest, but I resisted.

He was being so kind, not pressing me for answers. He wasn’t angry about my disappearance.

“What?” he asked, his brow furrowing.

“Do you still love me?” I blurted out. Suddenly, I didn’t feel worthy of him… or maybe not of myself. I’d let myself down.

“What kind of question is that?” he laughed. “When have you ever doubted my love? Can’t you see that you’re my everything?

“You’re the most beautiful, the smartest, the kindest—Adelie, I love you,” he said, taken aback by my question.

“Never question my love for you. I could never stop loving you. I always have and always will,” he said, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

“God, I hope you’re only asking because of your current state,” he said, but he couldn’t hide the tremor of worry in his voice.

We made our way back to the pack. A few people were already awake, but Kairos led us on a path to avoid them. What would they think if they saw me like this?

We entered our home, encountering Helen. I looked up at her, and she studied me. She met Kairos’s gaze and nodded, understanding not to ask.

We climbed the stairs to our room, and Kairos gently guided me onto the bed. It was all I needed right now.

“Do you need a doctor, Adelie?” he asked. I considered it, but knew there was nothing a doctor could give me to ease my discomfort.

I shook my head. I was still wearing Kairos’s jacket, but I didn’t want anything else. I didn’t feel like I needed anything else.

“How can I help?” he asked, taking my hands in his.

It was early morning, he was the alpha, and he had responsibilities. “I’ll be okay,” I said.

He began to shake his head, a look of defeat in his eyes. “Please don’t say that. Let me help you.”

“Luna and Alpha are missing. They're bound to start asking questions,” I voiced out, aware that his pack was his next priority after Fala and me.

“It doesn’t matter, Adelie. You’re not in good shape. I can stay…”

“No, please don’t. If I’m going to be cooped up all day, I don’t want you to miss out on anything. I’ll rest. You can check on me whenever you want, but don’t stay here just because of me,” I pleaded.

He understood that he had more important tasks to attend to than babysitting me. I wasn’t on my deathbed; it just felt like it.

After a lengthy debate, Kairos finally left. I began to surrender to sleep, gradually allowing the darkness to envelop me. That was until I received a mind-link from Maeve.

~“I need you here.”~