Chapter 89: Chapter 89

Adelie

He hadn’t yet shared the details of his illness with me. We were preparing for bed, his shirt already discarded, a book in his hands.

I sat on the edge of the bed, lost in thought. “What’s that you’re reading?” I asked, avoiding the multitude of other questions swirling in my mind.

He shrugged nonchalantly. “Just something my dad used to read. Never got around to it before,” he replied.

I waited for him to continue, to share more, but he remained silent. He didn’t seem anxious or afraid.

In fact, he appeared more at ease than he had in days.

“How long?” I finally asked. Not what he was suffering from. Not how severe it was. I was allowing myself to be selfish, asking how much time we had left together.

He set his book aside and moved to sit beside me. “The doctor didn’t give a timeline. It’s a slow process. And there’s no stopping it.”

He turned to me, tucking a loose strand of my hair behind my ear, a smile on his face. Why was he smiling? Especially after what he’d just revealed.

Tears welled up in my eyes. He didn’t react. How could he? He must have already spent so much time coming to terms with it that he was numb. “How long have you kept this from me?” I asked.

“I kept it to myself until I thought there was a cure. But yesterday, the doctor said it’s irreversible. He told me to just wait. I wouldn’t have told you if there was a chance of recovery.”

“Are you in pain?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

“No. They said when the pain does start, it’ll be unbearable, but it won’t last long…” I couldn’t hold back my sobs any longer.

I covered my mouth with my hand, but it was too late.

“I don’t want you to mourn, Adelie. We have our pack to consider. Soon, they’ll be your pack.”

I stood up, anger coursing through me. “How can you be so casual about this, as if you’re just going on a trip? How can you even think of me leading without you? How can you think about ~me~ without you?”

“Adelie, you said it yourself. We’re just friends now. Our feelings have changed. It was clear that when you lost your wolf, our bond would fade. And now, it’s for the best.”

His words only fueled my anger. “Don’t give me that, after all the times you’ve professed your love and promised to wait for me to feel the same.

“Don’t say now that you don’t love me. You pledged yourself to me, gave yourself to me. And now…” My voice trailed off.

“When you’re dying, you decide you don’t love me as much as you promised.” I shook my head, tears streaming down my face. “Don’t do that. Don’t do what I think you’re doing.”

He pulled me into his arms.

“If I can spare you any more pain, I will. And if I can leave you while you still don’t love me, I’ll go as your friend. Not your love.”

I pulled away, looking at him in disbelief. “Do you think that will hurt less? You say that as if I don’t love you. You know I do. You knew it when you said you’d wait for me.”

“…just not as much,” he finished.

“I’m so sorry…” I sobbed. “I’m so sorry that it took you being sick for me to realize that I—”

“Don’t,” he interrupted, trying to quiet me.

“Kairos, without you, I’m incomplete. I can’t be me if you’re not with me. How can I live if you’re not mine?” I asked.

He gently kissed my hands. “Adelie, no matter where I am, I’m always yours. If you still want me, I’ll wait for you there.”

I nodded, tears welling up in my eyes. “Wait for me. Wait so I’ll know it was all worth it.”

He pressed his forehead against mine. “I need you to lead this pack. You’re the true leader when I’m not here. But don’t dwell on the past.

“I want to see you happy. Maybe with a family, if that’s what you want. Find someone who loves you as much as I do. Or at least tries to.

“I doubt anyone can match my love for you. I can’t imagine a love stronger than mine. But find something close. And let yourself be happy, okay?” he asked.

“But how can I be happy without you? How can I sleep next to someone else?” I asked.

“Adelie, I don’t want you to be alone. You shouldn’t be alone.”

I looked into his eyes. “You once said that nymphs don’t need love. They’re perfectly fine alone, with nature as their companion.”

He nodded in agreement.

“Maybe I’m not a full nymph then…”

“And no one expects us to be alone, right?” he chuckled, trying to hide his tears.

“Life happens for a reason. But I don’t want you to mourn me. At least not for ~too~ long,” he laughed, and I joined him.

“What if I fail your pack, Kairos? What then?” I asked.

“It’s okay. If you don’t want to lead, find someone who will. Someone who will take care of my pack. Okay?”

I knew these could be our last moments together. Time was our only enemy.

And when he was gone, all I’d have left were memories. “Let your child rule the pack,” I suggested.

He looked at me, surprised. “What child?”

“Let your child rule. Then I’ll have a reason to move forward, to lead your pack until your child can. I want to have your child, Kairos.”

“Don’t make decisions in the heat of the moment, Adelie,’’ he said, almost sounding offended. But he had once told me he wanted a family with me, I just wasn’t ready then.

“Give me someone to love when you’re gone. If you don’t want me to be alone, then give me a child. A reason to move forward.”

I hadn’t spoken with such passion in a long time.

He stood up and moved away from me. “Adelie. The child will grow up without a father. Why would you choose that for them?”

“Then I’ll find a husband. Someone who will love your child as his own. But I will love him enough for both of us.”

“You said you didn’t want children until we had a stable life. And now, with what your father said about your soul…”

“I can protect our child. I’ll do anything to protect them. My parents did everything to protect me. I know what I must do to protect our child.”

He gently touched my cheek. “Leave without ever meeting my child? And give me another reason to hate my illness?” But he didn’t argue further. Instead, he kissed me.

Slowly, savoring each moment, as if we had all the time in the world. “If you love me so much, why would you want the pain of our child reminding you of my absence?”

“Go ahead, hurt me like that. Give me a person who’ll remind me of you while I cause you pain with a child you’ll never meet…Kairos, I want your baby. I want us to have a child together.”

Kairos spun me around, his lips tracing a path down my neck as he undid my dress, his kisses trailing down to my shoulders.

My tears had long since dried, but my mind couldn’t forget the reason for my pain. For now, though, it was easier to pretend everything was okay.

He let my dress drop to the floor, leaving me in my thin lingerie, then guided me out to the balcony. He spun me around again and lifted me, setting me down on the railing.

I glanced over my shoulder and saw the ground two stories below. My breath hitched and my legs instinctively tightened around Kairos.

A smirk played on my lips as I saw his playful expression. I could play this game too.

I let go of his shirt and relaxed my legs, knowing I could push his boundaries. Knowing how much he enjoyed our playful banter.

~Let’s play, Kairos. You’re not the only one who can lead this dance.~

I leaned back, not holding onto anything, until his strong arms caught me and pulled me back against him.

He didn’t look scared; instead, his smirk widened and his eyes sparkled even brighter. His breath hitched. “So, you want to test me, Adelie?” he asked, a smile playing on his lips.

He leaned in closer. “I can test you far more than that. I can make you forget about the drop behind you.” His whispered words lingered in my ears, leaving me curious about his intentions.

I only understood when he knelt down, resting my legs on his shoulders while his arms held onto my thighs.

“Kairos…” I gasped, looking down at him as he intentionally jerked me up, forcing me to grip the balcony railing.

I looked down again, but this time the fear was replaced by anticipation as his lips pressed against my inner thighs. His kisses were hard, yet filled with tenderness.

My heart pounded in my chest. My bra felt too tight as his lips explored new territory.

And I did forget everything. The drop. The chilly wind. The place…the time. And the future.

When the heat subsided, our bed was a mess of sheets and scattered pillows.

Sweat coated our bodies, yet we remained entwined, our skin sticking together. Our scents mingling.

“Not once have I doubted that you would be the death of me, Adelie. In the most wonderful way possible. I haven’t regretted a single moment I’ve spent with you.

“And even if it’s for a brief time…it was worth it.”