Vol. 3 Chapter 60
Translated by Springlila
Edited by Springlila
I shouldnât have sent him off like that.
I knew in my head that Dae-han had done it for me, but my hands and legs were still trembling. My confused mind and body reacted separately. In the elevator, I stared at myself in the mirror. There was something loose on my face, ?like the face of someone who has witnessed something horrible.
My older brother was standing in front of the front door when I entered the house. When I raised my head, my older brother was staring at me fiercely?with a frown on his face.
âWhat are youâ¦â
But my older brother was unable to finish his sentence.
âWhatâs going on?â
Instead, when he asked the question, I felt a shallow convulsive twitch in my lower lip and tears welled up in the corners of my eyes.
âHyungâ¦â
And my tears flowed like those of a child who met his missing parents at a lost child shelter. My tension was lifted as soon as I saw my older brother. My older brother said nothing to me, who broke into tears without even taking off?my shoes. I tried rubbing the corners of my eyes with the back of my arm to wipe away the tears, but they kept pouring out.
âWho did it?â
my older brother grabbed my hand and asked, as I was about to sit down. When I made eye contact with my older brother, my tear-stained face reflected in his eyes, and I slightly bowed my head. I wanted to respond, but I couldnât stop crying. I think I still have a long way to go before becoming?an adult.
âIs it him?â
The person he was talking about must be Lim Dae-han.?I shook my head because I couldnât raise my head. I was ashamed and angry at myself for crying like a child, but I was so irritated that the tears I had been holding back the entire time outside suddenly poured out when I saw my older brother.
âUgh⦠Lee, Lee Hyun-woo⦠Hikâ¦â
âLee Hyun-woo?â
âUgh⦠that, that punk⦠Uh, reallyâ¦â
My eyes were sore. He pressed me to tell him what was going on, but because the story of my misery came first, I just cried the entire time.
âCome in, for now.â
I walked inside when my brother had moved away a little. I changed my clothes and sat on the sofa without even unpacking my bag. My older brother walked into the kitchen and returned with a bucket of my favorite mint chocolate ice cream. It had only recently been unpacked, and there was no sign of touch. I accepted the spoon. I didnât want to eat it, but I did since I was starving.
My older brother sat across from me, holding his breath as though attempting to calm down even more, and asked,
âLee Hyun-woo, that bastard. The one that bullied you.â
Nod nod. Instead of responding, my older brother stood up and licked his lips with his tongue. n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om
âWait here.â
âHyu, hyung, where are you going!â
With my eyes still sore, I caught him as he headed out the front door as if he was leaving right away.
âKill him.â
ââ¦You donât have to.â
ââ¦â
âLim Dae-han-i, Lim Dae-han-i⦠he hit him.â
I bit my lips when I finished speaking again. I felt like I was going to die of embarrassment, but it was terrible because tears kept streaming down my cheeks. âDid he hit him?â my older brother asked. He frowned and sat down next to me again after I nodded.
âThen where is he?â
ââ¦â
âAre you not going to speak properly?â
âGo, going⦠homeâ¦â
When my older brother threatened me, I quickly responded. I pondered why I was so ugly, but I couldnât help myself. This was my face.
I put a handful?of mint chocolate into my mouth. I was starving⦠I thought I couldnât be a human being in the midst of this because I was hungry. Then I became enraged at my older brother, who wanted to blame Lim Dae-han?for the incident. While gripping the spoon tightly, I raised my voice.
âItâs because of you, hyung!â
âDo you want to get hit? You bastard, kissing outsideâ¦â
âYou can pretend you donât know!â
âIâm fucking pissed off. Your mouth is about to burst. Did you get hit on the head? What are you going to do if our parents see you, you bastard?â
I would have let him go at this point, but my brother never looked at me. As soon as comments about our parents?were spoken, I became more focused and directed my gaze to the main bedroom.
â⦠Whereâs Mom?â
âGrandmaâs house.â
âI⦠Does she know Iâm out?â
âI said you were going to your friendâs house.â
ââ¦Okay.â
I couldnât believe it. I left the mess at night and went out. Still, it was fortunate that my parents were deep sleepers. They also went to bed early.
As my older brother put it, Iâd been gone for a while. It was embarrassing to even call?it a runaway. I sniffed and inhaled, easing my recently sniffed breath. My older brother tilted his head, took a deep breath, and said.
âHey, Ki Young-hyun.â
ââ¦â
âI donât know what youâre doing out there. You spend the night out, had strange marks on your neck, return late at night, go out early on weekends and return late at night. Is that what a student is good at?â
ââ¦â
The sinner remained silent. I didnât have anything to say, so I remained silent, but my older brother shouted, âAre you good at it?!â while losing his temper.
âI, I was wrongâ¦â
âAnd you said he didnât even go to college. He says heâs not going, can he call you out like that?â
âNo⦠B-butâ¦â
âWhat.â
âIâm the one coming?to himâ¦â
ââ¦â
âEven if he asks me to go home, Iâd like to stay a bit longerâ¦â
âYou really.â
When my older brother glared at me, I immediately shrugged.
âA, anyway! He did nothing wrong. I⦠I did everything.â¦â
My eyes were teary again.
I didnât know what to do if Dae-han was displeased with me.
What if I appear like?a coward and he didnât like me anymoreâ¦
I couldnât help but feel afraid. I thought hitting people like that was only in movies and TV shows.? I had never imagined Lim Dae-han raising his hand and without hesitation hitting Lee Hyun-woo on the cheek. A scene like that occurred right in front of my eyes without a pause, but in fact, it was natural for me to be surprised.
ââ¦â
I stayed still for a while.? The ice cream on the spoon began to melt and dripped down. I glanced at my brother, who stared at me silently before opening his mouth.
âYou hit me.â
ââ¦â
âWho hit their older brother. You also hit me with your fists.â
âThatâ¦â
âEither youâre sorry or not.â
âIâm not very sorryâ¦â
When I responded as if I was going to run, my older brother snorted, as if he was impressed. Nonetheless, I was relieved he didnât say anything. One way or another, the problem was with Lim Dae-han⦠It would be okay if we met and talked⦠?I should go into the room and call him.
***
There was no contact from Lim Dae-han.
ââ¦â
It had been a long time since I had awoken to an alarm rather than a phone call from Dae-han. I turned off the alarm and went into messenger.
Wednesday, November 13, 20XX
Me: [Dae-han-a, did you get home safely? I have something to sayâ¦] 1:17 PM
Thursday, November 14, 20XX
Me: [Dae-han-a, have you eaten? I want to go to your house and have breakfast⦠I have something to say] 8:29 AM
Me: [Dae-han-a, arenât you home? Why donât you answer the phone (tears)] 11:09 AM
Me: [I will be home today, call me when you see my message] 12:47 PM
Me: [What are you doing?] 3:38 PM
Friday, November 15, 20XX
Me: [See you tomorrow at school. Iâll have the sound turned on, so you have to call me right away when you see the messageâ¦] 1:17 AM
There was no reply to the messages sent unilaterally. The number â1â to confirm that it was read remained as well. There were no?messages or phone calls. I put down my phone and fiddled with my lips while glancing at the constant contacts I had left alone.
â⦠I wish he was in front of the house.â
I murmured to myself as I got out of bed. After having breakfast, I got ready to go to school and left the house.? I exited the elevator and walked up to the apartmentâs front gate, where Lim Dae-han was always waiting. There was no one there.
ââ¦â
Because Lim Dae-han had come to pick me up every morning for several months. I was reminded of how big his absence was. I bit my lower lip. A sudden sense of anxiety overwhelmed me.
⦠Are we breaking up like this?
Lim Dae-hanâs lonely-looking?back kept flashing across my head. I should not have sent him off like that. But I couldnât do anything at the time.
I quickly closed my eyes and shook my head. It canât be.?He must have forgotten to pick me?up today⦠We can meet?in school. Then Iâll act as if I donât know anything and have forgotten everything. And act as usual.
***