Chapter 185

The night was long as they threw themselves on the throes of desire and lust. The heat lasted until the night ended and when the sun finally appeared on the horizon, Lilac was spent. She curled herself in a ball against his chest, sleeping like a baby, satisfied.

Meanwhile, Hunter couldn’t think straight. It was insane for him to do that with her in her current condition.

He was worried that he might hurt her or the baby, but when he saw her sleeping face and how contented she was, he could breathe a sigh of relief, because she was surely fine, if she could smile on her sleep.

“You scared me, love,” Hunter kissed the top of her head and hugged her tightly. Their body were sweaty and it was a little bit slippery, but the alpha wanted to devour this moment with her for a little bit longer.

He had an important meeting this morning, but he didn’t have enough sleep last night, still, he didn’t complain. He would love to have this sleepless night over and over again, but probably, he had to be careful with the intensity so they wouldn’t hurt their baby.

Hunter kissed Lilac again and squeezed her body gently. She let out this adorable sigh, but still sleeping.

In the end, after the sun was up and the sky turned so bright, Hunter let go of his mate’s body and got up, he went to the bathroom to clean himself and then wrung wet towel to clean Lilac’s body up.

Their clothes were on the floor and Lilac was mostly naked, thus it was easy for Hunter to clean her up, but even when his need was fulfilled already, it was still hard to see her in such vulnerable state, she was very tempting.

“You will be the death of me, love,” Hunter said with a little smile on the corner of his lips, as he wiped her body gently.

After he took care of his mate and put a comfortable dress for her, he went outside to have the last meeting before the attack.

The meeting lasted until afternoon and around that time, Lilac woke up because Raya shook her body.

“Lilac, you need to eat something, you have skipped your breakfast, you can’t skip your lunch too,”

Raya said in coaxing voice, she kept shaking her body gently, until she opened her eyes. “Lilac, wake up.”

Raya scrunched her nose because this room was completely reek with the smell of their lovemaking and the evidence was very obvious.

“Lilac! Wake up!” Raya raised her voice, which made herself startled. She immediately took a step back.

But, because of that too, Lilac finally opened her eyes, she looked around her groggily. “Did you just…

yell at me?” She looked unsure, seemingly she was still not really conscious enough to tell whether she was dreaming or not about the yelling.

“I didn’t,” Raya said. She schooled her face and approached Lilac again. She sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at her closely. “You look slightly pale. Are you alright? Should I call a healer?”

Lilac frowned and waved her hand. “No need, I am just tired.”

Lilac didn’t see it, but Raya balled her fists under–her sleeves, as she smiled sweetly at her and reminded her that she had skipped her breakfast.

“I brought lamb meat for you, come here. Try this, but before that, you need to wash your face first.”

Raya pointed her finger at the meal that she had brought with her.

Lilac narrowed her eyes, she was slightly dizzy, but probably because she was too hungry. With the reminder of Raya, her stomach started growling. Both of them could hear that.

“See? You will let your baby hungry if I didn’t wake you up,” Raya said, she smiled softly at her and then patted her shoulder. “Go and clean your face first before you ate.“ALTË Lilac yawned and then got off the bed. Her head was still dizzy and she was very sleepy, her body was sore, but she was mostly feeling satisfied. The heat that happened to her last night was rather brutal, she was worried it was too much for her baby, probably she needed to see a healer?

Lilac would ask a healer to check on her later. She felt great, but it didn’t she would take the risk, if it came about her baby.

After that, Lilac ate her lunch, Raya ate with her too and both of them had a mundane talk about trivial things that happened around them.

“What else do you want?” Ruby asked luna Jasmine when she came to visit her, as she breastfed her baby.

“Don’t give me an attitude,” luna Jasmine growled at her.

Over these few weeks when luna Jasmine was not really active and succumbed into her misery because her son was in predicament from being hunted down by his own father and her mate betrayed her, yet she couldn’t find the woman that alpha Tony was having an affair with, Ruby started to build her influence within the pack.

She gathered people that she could trust, people who had the same sentiment like her, who didn’t like luna Jasmine, some of them even hated her, just like Aria.

This pitiful woman had been used twice by luna Jasmine, she even bore the punishment for her and even though she was Lilac’s best friend before, but after the second betrayal, Aria knew there was no chance for her to reconcile with Lilac anymore.

Ruby also knew about that and she got her to her side.

Right now, Ruby would use to be seen with her and helped her with Azel or anything that she needed, which irked luna Jasmine, because she saw this as a betrayal, since Aria used to be a close friend of Lilac.

“What are you going to talk with me?” Ruby asked straight to the point.

Luna Jasmine glared at her, but then shifted her hatred toward Aria. “Leave,” she said through her gritted teeth.

Aria might be loyal to Ruby now, but she was still scared of luna Jasmine, the aura the she carried was something else, you wouldn’t be able to ignore that.

“Yes, yes, luna…” Aria immediately went away from there. She didn’t want to get into trouble again, she didn’t think Ruby could handle luna Jasmine just yet.

“What do you want to talk about?” Ruby was not happy because Aria left just like that, she left with tail between her legs. What a useless thing….

t “Now you dare to talk to me like this,” luna Jasmine said sharply. She looked a few years older now.

She was no longer care much about her appearance. She looked a little bit skinny and her complexion was not really good. Grey hair started to appear and she became so bitter.

“Just tell me what else do you want? I have let you met with alpha Ramon. I have nothing to do with you. anymore,” Ruby said snarkily. She wanted her to leave this room. The sight of her was suffocating.

“I want you to find out who is the person, who has an affair with James,” luna Jasmine said, emphasizing every word she said. “I want you to find out, who is that b*tch.”

Ruby raised her brows, she didn’t expect this request. “I thought you have asked around about this, but if you couldn’t find out, what about me? I don’t have enough resources like you have.”

The way Ruby acted was very natural, as if she was really didn’t remember anything.

“What do you want me to do now?”

Luna Jasmine growled dangerously to hear that “I want you to find her out! I don’t care what you are going to do!”

Ruby stared at her, she felt this pity and guilt at the same time, but it was not much to the point, she would be willing to admit the affair.

“Okay, let’s see what I can do for you,” Ruby said nonchalantly, as she put down Azel on his crib. He was sleeping. She was happy enough that luna Jasmine was too busy to interfere with her time with Azel, because at the beginning, she wouldn’t let go of her baby even when she her to.

师 Good,” Luna Jasmine grumbled. She glanced at Azel briefly before she walked away.

She didn’t have any interest on the baby, whose blood was stained by this woman, more so, this baby could threaten her son’s position, because James had mentioned about the heir, the baby could be the heir for the pack, skipped Aiden entirely.

It would be good if the baby was gone, so James could focus on saving their son, instead of hunting him down.

That was what luna Jasmine was thinking about Azel now.

At the same time, Aria went to the kitchen because she didn’t want to be near luna Jasmine. That woman had been in a really awful mood. She didn’t want to be the target of her anger anymore.

Thus, she went as far away, to the kitchen, where she could have a few things to eat.

However, Aria saw a familiar woman, she knew this woman was always with Lilac. She was a friend that she brought from the lycan pack.

The mention of ‘friend‘ made Aria angry, because she was supposed to be Lilac’s friend.

At that moment, Aria saw it…

Raya looked suspicious, she put something into the meal on the tray.

“What is that?” Aria mumbled to herself.

RYKER’S PO.V I hadn’t brought up Camilla’s confession in a week. I wasn’t sure if it was cowardice on my part or if it was because I didn’t want to jeopardize what little civility we had formed with each other. She acted like nothing happened and somewhere in the back of my mind, I decided that it was the right way to go so I said nothing about it either.

Despite my silence, I didn’t forget that she had agreed to the date and already started working on something. I wasn’t sure if her general likes and disliked had changed but I hoped they hadn’t because her newfound ‘family‘ was of no help at all. There was something off about them- especially the daughter- and I wasn’t sure if it was because she didn’t like me or if there was something else at play that I didn’t quite know of.

A knock on my door snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked up just in time to see Christine make her way. in. “A letter came from your sister and Damien. They want to come visit.”

“They can’t right now,” I cut her off and she rolled her eyes at me before continuing.

“If you had let me finish, you would have heard where I said that I told them now would not be a good time. They still don’t know that anything happened so I made up an excuse about the workload being too much and promised to let them know when they can visit.”

I wasn’t sure why I ever doubted Christine, she was one of the most efficient people I knew. When Camilla went missing, she didn’t hesitate to pick up most of the slack and even now, with Camilla present, she still did a lot of work because she felt it was better to slowly integrate Camilla back into the work space instead of dumping everything on her at once.

“Have you seen Camilla?” I asked and she shook her head.

“You’re the one that sleeps in the same room with her, why are you asking me?” she crossed her arms over her chest. “You can check with Marie or Peggy. If she isn’t in her office then she will be there. Why are you asking?”

“Can you help me get her in an hour?” she raised a brow in amusement. “I have something planned for the both of us. She doesn’t know what it is about, so don’t tell her. I just need her.”

She opened her mouth to speak but decided against it and made her way over to my desk. She took the seat opposite me and looked me square in the eye as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Christine had a naturally 6 terrifying gaze about her. I wasn’t sure where she got it from or how it came to be but it came so easily to her. It was the kind of look that could make a grown man cry for his mother.

“Are you sure about this?” she asked and I cocked my head in confusion. “All of this that you are doing to win he over, are you sure? I love my cousin and my loyalties will always be to her. I want her to be happy with you but most importantly, I want her to be happy. Camilla runs, it is what she does best.”

“For someone who loves her, you have such little faith in her. Camilla used to run, she doesn’t anymore. If she did, she wouldn’t have even agreed to stay. She is different now.”

“She is still Camilla,” she cut me off. “I don’t want you to chase her away because you want her back. I would much rather have her here as someone who hates us than not have her as all.”

I pursed my lips suddenly feeling bored of the entire conversation. I didn’t expect everyone to understand my reasons for doing the things I did, but I at least expected from support from Christine.

Camilla had changed and it seemed like I was the only one who could see that. She wasn’t going to run, she wasn’t going to hide.

“She will get her memories back.”

“And if she doesn’t?” she asked. “What happens when she is unable to ever glean them back? Will all of this stop then? Will you stop trying to fight for her? If all of this is about her memories then this might be a good time to stop.”

“If she never regains her memories then we will make new ones. I am making new ones and if you were just able to get rid of your fears for five seconds, Christine, you would want to make new ones too.”

She clicked her tongue before standing to her feet and I knew I had hit a nerve. She turned on her heels without another word and headed straight for the door. I didn’t expect her to say anything but at the last moment, she turned to look at me.

“I might be scared and I might be the one that’s running, I can admit that, but you also need to admit that you are scared shitless too and that is why you are doing this. You can see exactly what I can and that is that Camilla isn’t ours anymore. She hasn’t been since the moment I found her.”

She slammed the door shut behind her as soon as she was done speaking and I cursed as I ran my hands through my hair. Her words were like a plague, like a slow acting poison that threatened to carve me from my insides out. I didn’t want to give them much leverage but they had latched onto my insides and threatened to wreck everything I had struggled hard to build.

It was difficult to concentrate, difficult to think, Christine’s words floated around in my mind unhindered and I couldn’t take it for more than half an hour before I pushed to my feet and decided to take a walk in the palace gardens. I needed the fresh air and I was alone, or so I thought until I heard someone murmuring curses under their breath so quickly they would have made a sailor proud.

I followed the sound despite my initial need for solace and found Marie there struggling and failing to grab an apple from the top of the tree. Expletives were leaving her mouth faster than I would have ever thought possible and she was so fixated on her task that she didn’t realize I had walked over to her until I reached up and grabbed that fruit she had been struggling with.

She stilled and as if in slow motion, she turned to face me. Her cheeks heated and she couldn’t look me in the eye as I handed it over to her. “Thank you.”

“You are more than welcome. How long had you been at it?”

“Long enough for it to become embarrassing. If I had any self respect or dignity I would have let it go but I would rather die than let a stupid fruit get the better of me. It is a f*cking apple for goddess sake.”

“You have a rather colorful vocabulary,” I mused and her cheeks heated once more. “Do you always speak like this?”

“No,” she said too quickly before clearing her throat. “I really apologize. I should never have-”

I held up a hand to stop her. “I have no interest in crucifying you for your language. I only came here because I could hear you from the other side. If there is nothing else that requires my assistance then I can-”

“Wait!” she yelled out halting me in my tracks. “It is about Camilla. I just wanted to ask a question. I hope I am not over stepping any boundaries.”

She looked sheepish which was a stark contrast from the woman who was swearing the place down. I wasn’t “sure if it was worry or something else that was in her eyes but simply because I had heard Camilla’s name, I found myself waiting. She took a few breaths to calm herself before finally speaking.

“She is never coming back, is she?” he asked and I stilled. As much as I wanted to say no, it was not my place to do so.

I would much prefer for her to never go back but the truth was that Camilla was her own person and I couldn’t control her any more than I could control another. I could implore her to stay and I could find her if she ever ran away but that wouldn’t get me her loyalty and that would not be able to get me her love which was ultimately what I wanted.

“I think you should discuss that with Camilla. Her staying or leaving remains her choice.”

“Just drop the political stance for one day, your majesty.”

“You can call me Ryker,” I told her and she stilled “Camilla’s friends are my friends and she sees you as family. That makes us family by extension.”

“Ryker,” my name sounded strange on her tongue. “The thing is, she cannot just walk away from this.

This is an entire kingdom, they will come for her if she tries to leave and our village will be the first place they check. She has a duty here.”

“Perhaps, but it still remains her choice.”

“She will not leave. I know her well enough to make that assumption,” she chuckled under her breath. “I guess that means we have no business here anymore. If it is alright with you, my mother and I would like to return to our village.”

I thought about it for a second and I understood her desire to leave but I couldn’t have that yet. “If it pleases you, would you mind staying a little while? Camilla doesn’t understand the palace yet. She still feels like a stranger. It might make her feel better if she has people she knows around. We can make a home for you here if you so desire but if you do not, we will just keep you a while and send you on your way.”

She smiled softly. “I can see why she loved you and if you keep this up, she will again.” She bowed low.

“Thank you, Ryker. The weather does look pretty out here. I am sure Camilla would love to see it. I should tell her about 1. it.

色 CAMILLA’S PO.V The moment Marie started trying to get me out into the garden, I knew there was something else going on which was part of the reason why I wasn’t surprised to see Ryker there. We hadn’t spoken since I somewhat agreed to the dates and I expected some kind of heads up before he planned anything but it seemed I was wrong because he stood there completely stoic in front of a fruit tree. His back was to me but I knew he was aware of my presence. It was obvious in the way he was unnaturally still.

“What are you looking at?” I decided to break the silence and he turned to me. “Let’s not beat about the bush with each other, please. I would very much prefer if we were just honest. Did you ask Marie to get me?”

“No,” I could tell he wasn’t lying but he also wasn’t telling me the truth. I crossed my arms over my chest and he sighed. “I helped her with something and we had a conversation. She decided to come get you, I didn’t ask her to. If anything, I had asked Christine to get you in a few minutes time.”

“The date,” I deduced and he nodded.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. Some part of me wanted to stay, wanted to experience it and see what was going to happen. I wanted to be brave, I wanted to take risks but at the same time, I was also scared. No one ever realized how scary it was to not know who they are. It was the one thing that drove us and sure, I knew I was using it as a crutch but I needed something to latch onto and I didn’t have that.

“If you don’t want to,” he began but I shook my head.

“I’m fine, I’m just trying to mentally prepare myself.”

“We can reschedule it for another day. We don’t have to do anything.

“Audrey is in school, Aurora is asleep and everyone is busy. I think this is the best time that we will get to ourselves,” I joked and the fact that he didn’t disagree with me led me to know that I was right. “It is a harmless. date, I can handle it. Lead the way.”

I saw relief settle on his shoulders and for the first time, it hit me that Ryker was also having a hard time. I never stopped to think about just how difficult this could be for him. He had his mate but couldn’t completely have her. I wasn’t the only one suffering as a result of my lost memories- we all were. Us, the children and everyone else involved who had to deal with the fallout. It was terrifying and to me, it resembled the blind leading each other.

Ryker didn’t say a single word as he led me into the woods. I would have thought that there would be some form of fear at being alone in the woods but the truth was that I had never felt as protected.

There was something about Ryker, something that led me to know that under no circumstances would he allow any kind of harm to come to me. He wasn’t doing anything extraordinary, he was just holding my hand as he led me deeper but I had. never felt so safe in my life.

“Are you okay back there?” he asked snapping me out of my thoughts and I turned to him. “You have been deathly quiet. Is something wrong?”

“No,” I said almost too quickly. “I was just thinking about something but you don’t have to worry about it.

Where are you taking me?”

I knew he noticed the change of subject but to his credit, he didn’t push or delve on the past topic, he embraced the change. “Why tell you when I could just show you?”

“You do realize that you are leading me into the woods and it would be completely normal for me to assume that you wanted to kill me.”

He stopped, turned to me and burst out laughing. “Did we trade your memories for a sense of humor?”

“It would seem so.”

“I don’t know about you but I think it’s a fair trade,” he winked and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes playfully.

“Just tell me where we are going already.”

“if you were not so impatient, you would realize that we were already here.”

Ryker pulled back some leaves and I was struck with one of the most beautiful sights in the world.

There was a small waterfall that emptied itself into a clear stream. There were flowers littered all over the place and a picnic “table had been erected. There was something awfully familiar about it but I could not place my finger on it. I turned to Ryker only to find him already staring at me with a mixture of anticipation and worry…

“Do you like it?” he asked and I nodded.

“It’s beautiful, although I feel a sense of déjà vu coming on. Have I been here before?”

“We had a thing here once with the family. My sister was here along with Damien. It was a while ago, I hoped it would spark some memories.”

I gave him a sad smile. “Nothing, unfortunately, I just know it seems similar. I know that isn’t what you want to hear but-”

“That is more than enough,” he cut me off before leading me over to the picnic table. “I don’t know if it is your powers but you have always loved places like this. You loved the plants, you loved the water, there was always just something, you know? I never really put two and two together.”

“What about you?” I asked and he turned to me. “Do you like places like this or did you only tolerate them because of me?”

“I never minded anything if I am being honest. Seeing you happy has always been worth it so the answer would be yes, I liked them, but it was mainly because you liked them.”

“That is such a non answer,” I mumbled trying and failing to hide my smile.

Ryker was a good man, that much was certain. He was gentle and kind and he was the kind of man that anyone would kill to have. Every few seconds, I would glance at him out of the corner of my eyes, he was handsome, only a fool would have been unable to see that and I was no fool. He was seated so close to me that I could smell his scent and it bordered on overwhelming.

“How about a swim?” I asked after a minute of trying and failing to ignore his scent that was all over my space. didn’t wait for him to respond before I got to my feet and made my way to the edge of the water.

“Do you think we can swim inside of it?”

I knew I was acting weird but I also knew that if I didn’t get away from that scent, I was going to end up doing something absolutely stupid. I wasn’t sure if he knew why I rose abruptly but he didn’t protest as he came to stand next to me.

“We can but there are no swim clothes, Camilla. Do you want to risk getting your entire dress wet? I know you have powers over the water but even with that, you might drown.”

I scoffed. “I can swim with my undergarments,” I offered and he hesitated for a second before finally nodding.

He was stiff as he helped me undo the ropes on my dress. If I were a better person, I would have asked but I was so transfixed on his hands that were moving deftly against my spine. He never touched my bare skin but just the heat from his body behind me was enough for every thought in my head to fly out.

He helped me out of my dress and corset leaving me in just my undergarments. It was scandalous at best and he turned away to give me some privacy as he took off his clothes. I didn’t know what I was doing and I found myself asking what the hell I had started but I didn’t have an answer for that.

I got into the water trying to ignore the goose bumps that showed up on my skin or the way my nipples perked up from the cold. It could easily be hidden so it wasn’t much of a problem- or at least, it wasn’t until Ryker made his way over to the stream in nothing but his briefs and they were perked up for another reason entirely.

“It’s cold,” I mumbled sounding almost stupid and he raised a brow at me. “Why don’t you swim all the way over there and I can stay here and we can.”

Before I could form one more word, he made his way over to me and grabbed both my arms. He pulled me flush against him and I could have sworn that in that moment, I felt nothing–nothing but him, the feel of his skin against mine, his warm breath and in that moment, in the swirling cold water, I felt like I was on fire.

“Camilla,” he began and I bit down on my bottore lip.

“Please don’t say my name like that,” I whispered and he had the audacity to look confused. “You’re here, and you’re touching me and you’re saying my name and I cannot think. I need to be able to-”

He pulled my hair back out of my face and cupped both my cheeks. “Camilla.”

“Yes?”

“Shut up,” he mumbled before kissing me.

I stilled for a full minute and then it felt like fireworks had exploded all around me. it felt like everything was suddenly right in the world and despite knowing that I shouldn’t, despite knowing that it was incredibly stupid to do so, I kissed him back. One of his hands moved to my waist as he pulled me impossibly closer and I felt just how hard he was underneath the water. I couldn’t help but wonder if he could feel everything else as well.

“You’re thinking too much,” he mumbled against my lips before biting down on my bottom lip and I released a soft moan.

Everything was perfect, for one split second it was perfect and then I felt it. I pulled away from him and ran my hands through my hair in frustration. He reached out for me but I moved out of reach.

“That shouldn’t have happened,” I whispered despite knowing how much it broke me to utter those words. “I’d like to go back now.”

He looked confused but at last, he nodded. “Okay, we can leave now.”