Word Count: 2063
~Avila
Emerick swiftly gives me the instructions on where this meeting is going to be held.
He lingers for a while, making me promise not to tell anyone about it. I begrudgingly agree, knowing that if I'm going to give this an honest shot, I have to keep the secret.
For now.
He leaves me with the pile of books in my arms, vanishing into the shadows like he was never there. Once I know he's gone for sure, I wander around a bit before I slump against one of the bookshelves.
This is a huge mess. There's no chance I'm going to get any sleep tonight after that. I'm still buzzing with adrenaline from confronting Emerick about the rebellion.
Setting the books on the shelf, I pull out the one he mentioned I read for the sex scenes. It's dim in here, but there's just enough light for me to see the print as I peel it open.
I'm not actually going to read it. I just want to prove to myself that Emerick is wrong about me liking this.
I start at the top of the page in the middle of the book, having fallen straight into the middle of a graphic scene.
He brushes her hair away from her face, his dark stare lowering to drink in the sight of her naked form.
"I want you," she whispers.
"I'm going to take you." His voice is as hard as the muscled planes of his abdomen which she is confronted with. She licks her lower lip, wanting to run her tongue along his skin that is still damp from sweat. "How do you want it?"
Her lips curve into a wicked smile. "Hard."
I blink, pulling my gaze away from the chapter for a moment, a little stunned. I want to slam the book shut in disgust, but a dark, aching feeling starts to swirl in the depths of my stomach.
I like this.
Lowering my gaze, I continue reading.
"Good girl. On your knees," he orders calmly. She drops to her knees, tucking her hands behind her back as she patiently awaits his next command.
He reaches out, grasping her chin, forcing her to look up at him with her warm brown eyes.
"I'm going to have you how I want to have you. Are you ready for that?"
She nods. "I'm ready."
He steps back, slowly unbuttoning his hands, liking the way she looks at him, like she wants to eat him alive.
"Good," he murmurs. "On the bed, and spread your legs for me."
"Avila."
I flinch, the book fumbling in my hands before flying to the floor, the pages fluttering before the cover closes over it.
"Shit." I drop to pick it up, realising it's Vade's figure lingering in the shadows. "What are you doing in here?"
Shamefully, my fingers were making their way to the waistband of my pants. Had Vade walked up on me any earlier, he would have witnessed something truly mortifying.
"Couldn't sleep. Came to get this." He holds his chosen book up in his hand.
I sink further against the shelf, not caring about the wood biting into my back. My cheeks are hot from what I just read, and remnants of arousal flutter in my stomach.
And Vade isn't making it any better.
His hair is tousled from sleep, his silvery eyes wary as he looks over me. Despite it being night time, he's dressed as he normally is in a black tunic and pants.
I really wish he didn't look so good all the time.
"Oh, very nice," I stutter, rubbing the back of my neck, which is now damp with sweat. That book scene really got me going....
"I see we had the same idea." He nods to the book that is now hidden behind my back, as if he can see through the cover and to the sordid words written beneath.
For a moment I don't understand what he's saying. "Huh?"
"Reading." He quirks a dark brow, causing it to disappear beneath the length of his dark hair.
"Yes, right." I clear my throat, gripping the poor book so tightly I fear the spine might crumple. "Roel told me reading recreationally would be good for me. I'm starting to see the appeal."
He nods slowly, his perfectly sharp jaw tightening.
"It's good when you have a lot on your mind."
"You have a lot on your mind?" I would pay great money to get into that head of Vade's. He's so good at keeping what he thinks to himself, only saying what he thinks needs to be heard.
He let's out a long breath, sweeping a hand through his hair. "Enough to make me insane, if I'm not careful."
I frown. "Not good."
I hope it's not his forced engagement to me that's causing him so much trouble. I would release him from this nightmare if I had any power to.
"No." He slides his hands into his pockets, his brows creasing together. "I wanted to apologise, as well."
"What for?"
"My father." He shakes his head. "He's a fucking maniac, and he shouldn't have shared the news with everyone about your survival."
Ah. So it really was Vade's father behind it. For a moment I worried Vade had some hand in the announcement, but by his visceral reaction, it's clear he didn't know it was going to happen.
"It's not your fault."
"Still. You deserved to tell your people on your own time," he adds softly, rubbing his jaw.
"Do you think they are angry?" My worst fear is receiving a horrible reception when I'm announced back to society.
As much as I want to be honest about what happened, I can't be. If my own mother suspects dark magic is involved, then who knows the theories the general public would put together.
Vade studies me. "Maybe. Anger will fade, though."
"Will it?"
"It takes time. They will understand eventually." He doesn't say it to appease me, or out of pity. He says it because he means it, because it's a surety I can rely on.
"Thank you for being honest with me." I edge a little closer to him. "Only you and Roel seem to be capable of telling me the truth."
The edge of his lips quirk up, but barely. Then, his gaze slowly drifts downward to where my hands are tucked behind my back.
"What were you reading?"
"Just some book," I hasten to say.
"Can I have a look?" He holds his hand out.
I immediately shake my head. Of all the people I don't want seeing me reading such explicit content, it's Vade. He wouldn't judge me, but I still can't bear to witness his reaction.
"You probably wouldn't like it, it's...ah," My voice gets caught in my throat as he starts advancing on me. "It's apparently something I liked in the past."
My back presses into the shelf as he doesn't stop until he's looming over me, reminding me of just how intimidating he can be when he wants to.
My breath is trapped in my lungs as he leans over me, his breath gusting over my mouth. I've never seen him this close before. I can see every fleck in his eyes, see the hard ridges of his bone structure compared to the supple softness of his lips.
For a second I'm convinced he's going to kiss me. My lips part slightly in anticipation, my head tilting upward.
Instead, his hair brushes against the side of my face as he leans down, making the most of my stunned state to pull the book from my hand.
He steps back before I can snatch it back off him.
He opens it, flipping through the pages until something catches his eye. A sex scene, clearly.
"Hmm. I see why you like it." His smile is devilish as his attention flicks between me and the book.
I wave my hand dismissively. "Liked. I haven't really read much of it yet..."
His eyes widen at something especially graphic and he lets out a breathless gasp. My hand smothers my face as I try not to melt into a puddle of embarrassment on the floor.
"Who reminded you about this book?" He closes it, examining the cover like he's making a mental note to find it again later.
"Roel," I say without thinking.
He raises a curious brow. "Roel knew you enjoyed reading books like this?"
"Did I say Roel? I meant...Pria." I am so incredibly stupid.
He sweeps that keen gaze over me, smirking. This is the most light-hearted I've seen him, I just wish I could enjoy it without knowing it's at my expense.
"Uh huh." He holds it out to me. "Have this back. You may want to continue later."
"I won't." I grab it off him before turning, shoving it into a random slot on the shelf, knowing this kind of content doesn't belong in a section about war. "I'm definitely not even going to finish it."
That's a lie. I'm definitely going to sneak down here tomorrow and finish it.
"Okay, Avila." He sounds like he doesn't believe me.
Before I can protest, he turns to walk away. My eyes widen, the sudden urge to keep him in my presence overwhelming me.
"Vade."
He pauses, turning back to me. "Yeah?"
Despite my better judgement, I lurch forward and wrap my arms around him, pressing the side of my head against his chest.
He stiffens, his arms hovering away from me.
"I'm so scared," I whisper, squeezing my eyes shut as I breathe in his breath-taking scent.
Finally his arms settle around me, keeping me pressed close against him. "Of what?"
"Everyone. Of this life I'm supposed to live," I vent. I don't mention it, but this entire debacle with Emerick is only adding to my stress.
I know him and I were in love, but I wish I never met him...
"This will not be an easy experience," he murmurs into my hair, his hand running up and down my back as he soothes me. "But you are handling this very admirably, Avila."
I look up at him, narrowing my eyes. "Can you sound less stiff when you say that?"
His eyes trace my face, something unsaid in his expression. "I'm being honest. I have a great amount of respect for you."
I pull away from him, hurt blooming in my chest.
"Respect, that's it?" I want there to be more. I want him to be attracted to me, and I definitely want him to stop walking away from me like he can't stand to be near.
"Respect, among other things." His brows pinch together, like it's hurting him to keep close whatever he isn't saying.
"What other things," I push.
"I care about you." He looks down at his feet. "Enough to know I can't say what I truly think."
He's going to walk away from me again, I can feel it.
"Wait...please. Please say what you're thinking." Before he can I reach out and grab his hand, tightening my grip on it.
A jolt of something strange spreads across my skin suddenly. It's such a strange feeling I pull my hand away, looking down at it, puzzled.
"Woah, that was weird," I mutter.
Glancing up, Vade is painfully silent, looking at his own expression. He doesn't look surprised at whatever sensation we both experienced together, but he still looks quite panicked.
"What was that?" I ask warily.
He takes a healthy step back, tucking his hand behind my back like he's scared I'm going to reach for it again. "Nothing. It was nothing."
"It felt like I was being shocked," I recall.
"It was just our clothing," he excuses, backing off some more. "Forget it."
I frown. Something about that felt familiar, like I should know what it is. That didn't feel like an accident, and by the way Vade looks horrified, it clearly means something.
"Vade-"
"Go back to your room," he tells me as he sinks into the shadows. "Forget all of this."
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