Chapter 37: 37

Word Count: 1729

~Avila

I wake slowly, painfully.

For a moment all I can comprehend is the biting ache of pain in my shoulder. It forces my eyes open, although the light forces them closed again. It takes a few deep breaths and a few blinks before I can see fully again.

With my eyes adjusted, I realise it's night. Shadows crawl across the unfamiliar bed I lie in, forcing to remember where I am.

If I am recalling this correctly, this is the infirmary. At home.

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Casting my gaze to my right, I see Vade sitting in an uncomfortable looking chair facing the bed. His head is tilted back, his lips parted as he sleeps.

For a moment I just look at him. The moonlight plays across his face, deepening the shadows around his jaw and cheekbones. He looks ethereal, like an angel.

"Vade?" I say softly, although it comes out rough and hoarse.

He jolts up, drawing in a breath as he takes in the sight of me. I've attempted to pull myself up the pillows, by the overwhelming pain in my shoulder stopped me.

"You're awake." He rubs his eyes, like he can't believe it.

"What happened?" I ask. My memory feels hazy with chunks of it missing. It's not an unfamiliar sensation, so I don't feel myself panicking.

"You were shot, but you're going to be okay. The healers assured me you're recovering very well," he assures me.

He scootches his chair close so he can rub my arm, careful not to bump my shoulder.

I turn my head, seeing a thick layer of bandages wound around my shoulder. I can feel them extending to around my ribs, pressing so tight it's restricting my breathing a little.

Memories of being shot slowly crawl back to me. A complete stranger in a crowd, his angered expression and the feeling of my body slamming against the stage before Vade and Noel leant over me.

I really was shot.

"I'm home..." I murmur, looking around the small infirmary. It smells funky in here, like cleaning products and something metallic, like blood.

"The rest of the tour was cancelled. You won't have to finish it, even when you've fully recovered," Vade assures me gently.

I frown. "Why not? I need to communicate with people."

There entire point of the tour was to connect with them. Although there was a lot of anger, I felt like I was reaching people, that seeing my face made me appear more normal than what they have fantasised about. Things may have changed regarding my safety, but that means I need to be out there proving dark magic had nothing to do with my survival more than ever.

"Someone tried to kill you, Avila. They were pretty close to being successful," Vade says tightly, looking over me with eyes misted with anger. "That risk cannot be made again."

"Shouldn't it be my decision?" I ask, trying not to wince as I adjust.

"Unfortunately you are a princess and your father is the King. Your protection is more important than your right to choose."

I bury my head deeper into the pillow. "Great. Maybe I should just go back to sleep."

This was supposed to be my one chance to prove myself. Looking myself up in my ivory tower will not make people any less suspicious of me.

"Don't." Vade takes my hand, brushing his thumb across my skin gently. "I missed you."

I gaze up at him through my lashes, unable to contain the flicker of surprise that courses through me. I know our marriage is starting to progress in a positive direction, but I still always assume he wants nothing to do with me, and that me being unconscious was likely a welcome reprieve from all my drama.

"How long was I out?" I ask softly.

"About a week and a half."

"What?" I try to sit up, but a jolting pain in my shoulder has me quickly settling back into the pillow.

"Shh, relax," Vade soothes. "Nothing happened while you were out. You needed the rest."

It both feels like I slept for a long time and no time at all. Vade looks a little different. The angles of his cheekbones and slightly more angular, and there are dark splotches under his red rimmed eyes from exhaustion.

"What have you been doing?"

"I've be here, spending most of my time at your bedside," he tells me, pointing behind the chair he sits on. "It killed me, Avila, seeing you like this. I thought I was going to lose you again. I was out of my mind."

"You were?"

My heart aches at his words. I glance over his shoulder to see a pillow, a pile of blankets and a book. He's clearly made this room his home for countless days, and just knowing he was here brings me comfort like I've never felt before.

"Of course. You're my wife." His smile is tender, softening the usual sharpness of his eyes.

"Honestly, I didn't think you would care that much," I admit, clearing my throat. "It's not like we have a conventional marriage."

He sighs through his nose, looking down to where he squeezes my hand gently. Something is plaguing him as he falls deep into thought.

"Look, you've just woken up and there are a lot of people who want to speak with you right now, but I there is something I need to tell you," he exclaims warily.

I look to the door. It's late, and I'm sure most of the house is sleeping. I don't want to see anyone else right now anyway.

"Don't wait to tell me. I want to know now," I insist.

"Are you certain? It's not exactly...easy information to accept." He rubs the back of his neck, letting my hand go like he needs some space to consider whether this is right.

My stomach pitches. This doesn't sound good.

"Why? Is it bad?"

"No, it's wonderful. However, you didn't like this before you died." He's talking awkwardly, his speech stilted as he tries to walk around the issue.

"Tell me. You know I've changed," I remind him.

I don't even like the same toppings on my oatmeal. I drink different drinks, and my taste in men has drastically changed, apparently. I have more in common with Pria than I do with my old self.

"Do you understand concept of mates?" Vade brings up slowly.

The concept seems vaguely familiar, like I should know it but I can't quite grasp it.

"I don't think so."

"The mate bond connects two people together in a way that is beyond physical. A mate is the one person you are destined to be with, and once you come across your mate, no one else will ever compare. In fact, the universe will always draw the two back to each other," he tells me, saying it slowly as to make sure I understand every word he is feeding.

Maybe I'm delirious from just waking up, but it takes me a moment to let that sink in.

One person forever? It sounds ideal, to have the perfect match, but what if the universe is wrong? It doesn't seem like that is possible, but what if your mate doesn't want you? What if your life circumstances keep you two apart, even as you're being drawn together?

"Oh...how do you know if you've found your mate?" I ask tentatively.

"You touch them, and you feel the physical manifestations of the bond." Vade takes my hand in his. "It feels like this."

Nothing feels different about the way he is touching me. However, there is a flutter of electricity that seems to dance over my skin when I touch him that I don't feel with anyone else. The sensation is delightful, but I always assumed it had something to do with what he wore or something.

"Woah. I always wondered what that was," I murmur. Then, realisation slaps me in the face. "Wait, we're mates?"

Vade's smile is still wary. "Yes. We always have been."

"What does this mean?"

"It means we were made for each other. I tried to keep away from you, to put some distance between us for both of our sakes, but we will always be drawn together," he murmurs.

I realise my mouth is hanging open in a way that is hardly flattering, but I can't help myself. Vade is the one person I am destined to spend my life with? I always thought we would be close from our marriage, unable to escape each other, but this takes it to an entirely differently level.

More than that, it validates what I know I've been feeling. I've always felt drawn to Vade, unable to get him out of my mind, even when he made it clear he wanted nothing to do with me.

"Wow."

"Yeah." He sounds breathless. "Before your death you found out and you wanted nothing to do with me. It broke me, because the moment our hands first touched, I knew you were the only one for me. Then you died and well...part of my life ended too."

Sadness twists between my ribs as I take in the sorrowed expression on my mates face. I can't even imagine the pain he endured.

"I'm not who I once was. I don't want to run from this," I assure him.

I wish I could lean forward, to capture his mouth with mine, but every waking moment is now accompanied by the pain in my shoulder.

"I'm happy to hear that," Vade admits. "But I recommend keeping this to ourselves. I don't want it to change how people expect us to act toward each other."

"I think people will find it strange enough now that you're being so nice to me," I joke, laughing softly under my breath.

"I'm going to be better," Vade promises me. "I know you won't hurt me again."

"I won't. I promise," I assure him.

As I gaze at him, I've never been more certain of something in my life. Not even Emerick can come between us now.

🩵••🩵

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