Chapter 39: 39

Word Count: 2128

~Avila

A gloved hand takes my arm, stretching it out in front of me.

"This hurt a bit," the man exclaims, his expression impassive as he draws a knife out, presenting its sharp blade before me.

I swallow past the lump in my throat, withholding my panic.

I've agreed to this, and I know I want answers, but I'm still wary. In testing my blood for traces of dark magic, they are revealing something about me that can't be taken back once it's known.

"I know," I murmur.

The man takes the tip of the knife, dragging it down my forearm. It immediately splits my skin, a blaze of heat, followed by pain overcoming me.

I grit my teeth, watching him pull the knife away. Another man appears beside me, watching the blood well up before trailing down my arm. He places a vial beneath the drip, catching it without missing a drop.

Crimson, who stands by with her arms folded, smuggled these men once the house had settled in for the night.

Dinner was tense. Roel retired early, while Vade remained up and speaking to me, completely unaware of my plan.

He would tell me not to go through with it...

As bad as I feel for lying, this is something I need to do. If the results come back positive, then I'll tell him. If negative, then he never has to know I made this decision.

Deterring him from spending the night with me wasn't too difficult. As doting as he has been since I was shot, he has agreed to take it slow and not crowd me yet.

Once the vial is sufficiently filled, the man steps back, examining it.

It looks like any other blood. How they determine there is dark magic in it, I don't know. By the way they crowd around their small table and tinker with various jars and vials with their backs turned me, they want to keep it a secret.

"This is the right decision," Crimson states, taking a small white towel, pressing it to my still bleeding arm.

"What are you going to do if there are traces of black magic in my blood? Will I be excluded from being a princess?" I ask he, wincing at the pain that still echoes through me.

The blood drains from Crimson's face as she quickly shakes her head.

"Of course not." She presses her lips together before she sighs. "I'm just making sure you're...you."

I flinch. "Wait, you think I'm someone else?"

"I'll admit, it's a theory I've been considering." She brushes some lint off her shoulder. "You act entirely different to the daughter I knew. She was in an advantageous position, and I wouldn't be surprised if someone resurrected her to take over her mind."

I shake my head in bewilderment. And everyone wonders why I avoid her at all costs...

I had hoped when she initially tried to have my blood tested that she would forgo this belief. She would see how impossible such a notion is, and would let it go. Unfortunately she's clung to this ridiculous belief, and it could cost me everything.

"That's ridiculous," I hiss.

"What do you assume then?"

"That someone used dark magic to bring me back," I admit. "I mean, I've been having flashbacks. I'm still me."

I don't bring it up, but Vade and I are mates. That would be impossible if I were a different person infecting Avila's brain. Crimson doesn't need to know that I'm aware of the mate bond yet.

Not until she starts believing I'm really me.

She flips her hair over her shoulder. "That remains to be seen."

"Do you hate me, or something?" I question, sounding more breathless than I would like.

I'm not sure why, but I don't feel like I'm missing a mother. Crimson doesn't feel like one, but that doesn't upset me. Maybe it's because I have Roel, Vade and Venna. Yet, part of me does ache knowing she thinks I'm an imposter.

"No, of course not..." She seems flustered.

"Then I'm just not good enough to be your daughter?"

"That's not what I'm saying."

"I'm never going to be who I was. My memories were reset, so of course I'm different," I remind her harshly. "I don't know much about dark magic, but I know it's dangerous. It must have changed a lot about me."

This is difficult enough for me, and her belief only makes it harder. I'm still reconciling who I am compared to who I was, and while everyone seems to prefer me now, my own mother doesn't.

"Perhaps that is true," she mumbles, glancing at the men who diligently continue their work.

My nose curls at the small of sulphur that lifts from their table. The three of them exchange glances before one turns to face myself and Crimson.

"We detect traces of dark magic in her blood," he tells us.

A wave of conflicting emotions overcome me. I feel dread, knowing that the theory everyone has about me is true, that the public are right to distrust me. I feel anguish, knowing someone meddled in my death in a way that could be devastating.

Yet, I also feel relief. I finally have an answer to put my theories to rest. It opens up more questions, but I've been in a state of wondering since I awoke that day in the casket. Knowing something for certain feels good, regardless of the consequences.

"What could that mean?" Crimson asks them, the horror evident on her face.

Her worst fears have just be confirmed...

"Anything. She may have been exposed to dark magic while alive, or while dead. It's impossible to tell," the man says, adjusting the glasses on his face.

"Well, it's time for you to leave now. Do not speak of this to anyone, or I will personally have you and your entire families executed," Crimson snaps.

The men clear off all their tools, jars and vials into bags before they hustle off, heads bowed. I watch them going, silently hoping they abide by my mother's demands. If this gets out now, I could be in great danger.

"A bit abrasive, huh?" I state, raising my brow at her.

"It's necessary." Crimson adjusts the collar of her blouse before pinning me with a look that only a mother could impart. "You nearly died, Avila. You're in a great deal of danger."

I stand from my seat, still pressing the towel to my arm. I'm going to have to hide the wound from Vade until it heals, unless I be honest with him straight away.

"We need to turn public opinion in favour of me," I mumble, beginning to pace.

"That will be difficult. We won't be able to prove your innocence by publicly testing your blood." Crimson bites down on her nail in a way she has scolded me for in the past.

"There must be another way."

"We will figure it out." She straightens, pulling herself out of her mental spiral. "For now, don't get pregnant."

My eyes widen. "What?"

Falling pregnant wasn't even a notion I've considered. Vade and I have only had sex once, and he made sure we were protected before doing so. Still, the thought sends a haunting shiver down my spine.

I don't even know myself yet. I couldn't possibly handle being a mother on top of that.

"We need to ensure your reputation has improved first," Crimson notes. "You will ruin your heir's chance of ruling if you have them now. People will assume your child is infected with dark magic."

"They will be," I remind her.

She swallows, an solemn expression appearing on her face for a moment before it vanishes.

At least Crimson is one person I can safely remove off my list for being the one who brought me back from the dead. She wouldn't take that risk knowing the consequences, even if she loved my older self.

"That doesn't have to be a bad thing. Not if we are careful," she muses.

"What if we tried being honest with the people?" I bring up.

Her appalled expression would make me laugh were we not in this terrible situation. Her mouth falls open and her eyes practically bulge out of their sockets.

"Absolutely not. Don't say that again," she growls.

"Why not? If we lie, then those lies can be exposed, and people will lose even more trust in me," I remind her.

I'm only considering the option because there are almost none left. Being honest with people, proving to them I can still be a good leader despite what runs through my veins could help.

"Right now, there are plenty of people on your side. You will lose all support if you even mention dark magic in this territory," Crimson warns.

"Shouldn't we at least consider my idea?"

"No. We just need to make sure very loose end is tied up." Her stare turns hard. "Does anyone know the truth about what happened to you? Anyone know you died and came back?"

I pause. Shit.

Emerick knows, which means countless other members of the rebellion know too. Now that I've married Vade, there is nothing stopping Emerick from getting revenge, from turning against me. He could alert the public to my true reality before I can, which would ruin my chances with them.

"Not anyone beyond these walls..." I tell Crimson carefully, the lie tasting bitter on my tongue.

Her eyes narrow, like she knows the truth about my past. "Are you certain."

"Yes mother, I'm certain."

She doesn't look like she believes me, but she doesn't have any evidence to the contrary. So, she releases a long sigh and motions out the door.

"Alright, go to bed," she instructs. "Don't share this with anyone, including Vade or Roel."

"But Roel could help me."

"He will only give you poor advice. Now go." She waves her hand dismissively. "Forget this happened and let me deal with it."

"Fine. Goodnight," I grumble.

As I head upstairs, I consider all of her advice that I'm going to ignore. Of course I'm going to share this with Roel. He has made it clear he wants to help me, and his knowledge is unvaluable.

I'll tell Vade too, when I'm ready...when I'm sure he won't stop me from investigating.

Or when I'm sure it wasn't him bringing me back from the dead.

Rushing upstairs I quickly bandage my wound before dressing in warm clothing. This isn't what I want to do, but it's what I have to do.

I need to make sure my secret remains safe.

Shoving on my shoes, I quickly sneak out of the manor, ensuring my footsteps are silent and I remain in the shadows. Mother had all the servants send to their chambers for the night so we could conduct the test. Thankfully it means I sneak through the house with no issue.

The trek into town is cold, but it gives me time to go through the list of people in my mind who could have used dark magic to bring me back.

Vade has motive, and he's good at keeping secrets, but would he really risk that?

Roel has access to knowledge about dark magic, but why would he betray my parents after years of working for me? And why would he agree to help me find the person who has done this if it were him?

I doubt Venna or Pria cared enough about me to risk that.

And Emerick...I can't trust that he wouldn't.

With a hood pulled over my head, no one bothers me as I sneak through town, keeping to the back alleys. It takes me a moment to remember where the compound is, but eventually I manage to stumble upon it.

I knock on the door, hoping they are all meeting here despite the late hour.

Someone unfamiliar opens the door. Upon seeing me, their eyes widen and they promptly open the door, revealing a rebellion meeting in process.

I step inside, voices hushing at the sight of me.

I catch sight of Emerick on the other side of the room. He peers over at me, his lips parting in shock. I'm sure I'm the last person he expected to see.

"Avila." He starts surging through the crowd, shoving people out of the way as he approaches me.  "Everyone get out of my way."

I wait until he is standing before me. "Hello Emerick. We need to talk."

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