Chapter 37: Chapter 2: The Dinner

Jamie

“What are you going to do about the dinner?” Harry asked, grabbing my attention from the window of the coffee shop.

I had become distracted by the people that were passing by, rushing to get places.

Usually, by now, I would be deep in my work and happy about it, but with Mason Knight nearby, my mind was elsewhere.

I turned my attention from the window. “I don’t know. I feel having dinner would be a really bad idea. I still have a lot of anger toward him.”

“I understand your hesitation. I do. I know that he hurt you. My son is hurting too. I truly believe that the time he’s been gone has done him good emotionally.”

“So, you think he’s changed?” I asked.

“I believe so. He’s trying to get back into your life, and I understand if you don’t want that, Jamie. But he still needs to be a part of hers. You should be the one to tell him.”

“I’m scared.” I looked down at the mug of coffee between my hands. “I’m scared of him rejecting her because he’s not ready for the responsibility. I couldn’t take that.”

“You won’t know unless you take the chance, sweetheart. He can still be a big part of her life. Mason will find out sooner or later. It’s better that it’s sooner.”

Of course, I knew that everything Harry was saying was right. He was seeing things from my side too, and not just his son’s.

Sitting at a dinner table with Mason wasn’t something I was comfortable with, but the conversation was inevitable. He was back now. He needed to know what he’d left behind.

***

As I walked through the lobby of the hotel, I noticed that some of the staff had their eyes on me.

I wasn’t in my formal workwear or my casual wear. I was simply dressed up just enough that I wouldn’t stand out in the hotel restaurant.

Sam was giving me the eye from the front desk, so I walked his way. I was nervous about dinner, and I was late, so I wanted to know if Mason was still inside.

“Is he in there?” I whispered.

“He’s here. He’s been sitting at the table for thirty minutes.” He looked me up and down. “You’ve kept him waiting, but you look great, so he might forgive you.”

“It’s me that’ll be doing the forgiving, not him.” I walked toward the door of the restaurant, which was right beside reception. “I almost didn’t come. I didn’t feel ready for dinner just yet.”

I looked through the glass. It was busy inside, but I could see him at his table, sitting alone.

I immediately felt guilty for making him wait, but then I reminded myself of all those months I was sitting alone waiting for him to return.

“You’re here now,” Sam said from right behind me. “You might as well sit down with him and see what he has to say for himself. I’m here if you need saving.”

“Wish me luck, I guess.”

I pushed open the door of the restaurant and walked inside. The closer I was to him, the more nervous I was—nervous about telling him the truth. I sat down in the chair in front of him.

Mason looked up from his water glass, surprised to see me. “Jamie, I didn’t think you were going to come. It’s late.”

“You haven’t eaten yet. I’m obviously not that late.” I picked up my menu and opened it. “The food is really good here. Let’s order before we talk.”

I needed a few moments of browsing my menu to calm my nerves.

It felt a little awkward, sitting across from each other, eating our meals in silence. I hated the silence, yet I wasn’t sure how I felt about a conversation with him either.

“How is being back at the office?”

He looked up from his plate. “It’s like I never left. Well, except for my cousin Eoin being there now. My father gave him a job after I left.”

“I know. I mean, I remember him.” I didn’t want to tip him off that I had become close with his family, at least not until I told him everything. Maybe after dinner.

“You’re not there anymore. When did you stop working for my father?” he asked.

“I didn’t go back after you left. It didn’t feel right to go back.” I looked away, feeling uncomfortable now that we had gotten past the small talk and hit the root of the issue.

“I’m sorry, Jamie. I—”

The waiter came by our table and took our empty plates. Mason seemed agitated by the interruption but waited until he left our table before continuing.

“I’m sorry that I left the way I did. I should have explained.”

I folded my arms on the table and looked at him. “But you didn’t. You left, and you didn’t tell anyone. No one knew where you were. Why did you leave?”

He released a long, drawn-out sigh. “I was confused. I was still caught up in guilt over what happened to my mother. You were asking questions, and it all felt like too much.”

It felt like too much? All I’d ever wanted was to know him, to be a part of his life. He knew I loved him, and instead of facing that, he decided to leave.

“This is my fault? I’m the reason why you left?” I asked.

“No.” He shook his head.

“It was never your fault. I spent so long burying my feelings, at least the ones that should have mattered. I never came to terms with what happened to my mother. That’s why I left.”

“You could have called, reached out at any point, but you didn’t.”

I rested back in my chair and looked around the room. I noticed Sam in the glass of the restaurant door mouthing the words, “Tell him!”

“Would you like a dessert menu?” the waiter asked.

Mason looked at me but immediately knew by my face that dessert wasn’t going to happen. “No, we’re fine. Just the bill.”

The waiter left, and I turned my head and looked at him. “Why did you come back, Mason? Why now?”

“I’m back because I was ready to come back. You don’t know how many times I’ve picked up the phone and wanted to call, but I, um…I didn’t know what to say.”

Hello would have been good. I could have taken the conversation from there. Things could have been so different, not for me but for her.

He wasn’t ready for this. It was so clear that he wasn’t the type of guy to take on responsibility easily. Maybe he never would be.

The waiter placed the bill down on the table, and I quickly grabbed some cash from my purse and put it down.

“What are you doing?” Mason asked. “I was the one that asked you to come to dinner. I can pay for it. Put your money back in your purse.”

“You always insisted on paying. Don’t be sexist.” I stood up from my chair and grabbed my coat and bag. “I guess that’s that, then. Thanks for clearing things up finally.”

“Are you serious? Jamie,” he called after me as I walked away from him toward the door of the restaurant.

I was angry.

Although he’d given me a reason why he left, one that I understood, somewhat, I was angry at him for everything he had missed.

I noticed the look on Sam’s face as I passed the reception desk toward the front of the hotel. I didn’t stop to talk. Talking wasn’t what I wanted. I just wanted to be home.

I reached the outside of the hotel and felt the breeze on my face before he caught up with me. This time I wasn’t getting away.

“Jamie.” Mason grabbed my arm and turned me around. “I’m sorry, okay? I wish I could take it back, but I can’t.” He let go of me and moved his left hand through his hair in frustration.

“I should have told you in there that you’re the reason I came back. I came back to fix this.”

“You have a daughter,” I blurted out in a panic.

Immediately he was looking at me in shock and confusion.

“I was…um…pregnant when you left. We tried to find you before she was born, but we couldn’t.”

He remained silent, shaking his head and unable to make eye contact. “You should go home. I’m, um…”

He turned around and walked away, not into the hotel but down the street instead.

~That went just like I thought it would. Worse, actually.~

Mason Knight thought that his return to New York was the big surprise. But he had no idea the surprise I had in store for him.