"Can you come with me?" He asked again.
I looked up at him again with a blank expression.
I cleared my throat before nodding my head at him unsure, "Sure."
Luke sighed in relief before giving me a side hug. He was driving me home back from school right now. He asked me if I wanted to come to a party with him.
A party. Lots of alcohol and drunk people. Smelly armpits. And chaos.
"But why do you want to take me?" I asked facing him.
He gulped before saying, "Why can't I? You are my girlfriend."
I elbowed him in the stomach making him wince in pain, "Don't forget we are just faking it."
He glared at me before rolling his eyes, "I know. I know. No need to be so violent."
I smirked before crossing my arms over my chest, "Then tell me. We are friends, right?"
"Cannot I have no reason?"
"It is written all over your face. It is about a girl, isn't it? So spit it out already."
He fell silent for a while. Staring in the front before he took a deep breath, "It is."
"Who is it?" I couldn't help but get excited as I sat there on the edge of my seat.
To know Luke had a girl he liked got me excited. I wonder what she was like. Was she as beautiful as Luke? She has to be!
"My ex girlfriend." He muttered silently.
I blinked my eyes a few times at him with a straight face, "Your what?"
"Ex girlfriend"
"You still like her?"
He snapped his attention to me before shaking his head violently, "No. I don't....Maybe....Yes. I do."
It was the first time I saw Luke getting all red. I bit my lip, "You want to take me to the party to make her jealous, don't you?"
"I want to take you to the party because I want to." He said.
Which I assume is only partially true. Even though he is willing to take me to the party, I doubt he didn't mean to show his ex girlfriends that he moved on from her? Make her jealous?
"Were you using me to move on?"
He pursed his lips tight before looking at me through the corner of his eyes, "That was before I met you. I hoped to move on."
"That is why you agreed to date me. Even if it was fake." I stated.
It was confirmed the moment he didn't even try to deny it.
He clenched his jaw tight, "I am sorry."
I tilted my head to one side looking at him. I wasn't mad at him that he dated me for his own reason. Cause wasn't I doing the same thing? I was more mad at him that he didn't tell me.
"What happened then? Wasn't I good enough to help you move on?" I asked.
He stopped the car before unbuckling his seatbelt. He turned towards me in his seat now facing me.
"You are good enough. But even if I want I cannot like you...because in the end I'll only end up hurt."
He meant Xavier. He knew the only person I loved was Xavier. I cannot love anyone else.
"Rather I learnt something from you." He smiled at me softly.
I looked at him confused which made him chuckle, "I learnt to not give up on the person you love. I learnt that from you. That no matter what I should try to hold on as long as I can."
I couldn't help but stare at him in awe. How could a girl dump a guy like him? I am not going to lie but Luke is everything you would want in your boyfriend.
"Why did you break up?" I asked him. I knew it wasn't something I should be asking. It wasn't my place to ask but I couldn't help but ask, "It's okay if you don't want to answer that."
I saw him close his eyes tightly before shaking his head, "You should know....I made mistakes. Mistakes that aren't really forgivable."
"What did you do?" I asked.
He opened his eyes and looked at me with pain in his eyes, "You are home. I'll pick you up at seven?"
I looked into both his eyes. Trying to understand him. But I could see it in his eyes that he didn't want to recall whatever wrong he did. He didn't want to think about it. Or say it aloud.
I looked outside and surely we were parked in front of my house. The leaves made a rustling sound on the tree. It was windy outside.
I looked back inside, "Seven it is." I said before falling quiet when I saw Luke.
Even though I could tell that he was paining, right now I could tell that he was trying to not cry. His eyes were red as he pursed his lips tight. He tried to look up and contain his tears,
"Why aren't you going inside? Just go already." He tried to laugh while still holding onto his tears.
He wanted me to go inside but I didn't. I sat there in my seat looking at him. I can't leave him when he is suffering. Not when he has helped me so much.
He must really love the girl to make him suffer so much.
But what wrong did he do?
Whatever he did, he obviously regretted it. You could see him regretting it very badly. He was very well aware of his mistake.
A person should be forgiven when they realize their mistakes, don't you think?
"Luke." I whispered softly before reaching out for him.
I never knew Luke was this vulnerable too. He never let out any emotions. Whenever he was with me he tried to be as helpful and cheery as he could be. I can't imagine the times he kept the smile on his face even when he felt like crying.
He seemed taken off guard when he saw me reaching out to him. He looked at me incredulously but before he could say anything I gave him a hug.
I knew he needed it. He needed someone to lean on right now. And as a friend I am always ready to lend a shoulder to cry on.
"If you want to cry, you can." I said while trying to insure him by rubbing his back.
He sat there frozen before slowly putting his hands around me. I let him rest his head on my shoulders.
"Can you stay like this for a while? I won't cry but I need this." He mumbled silently. If it wasn't for his lips just near my ear I couldn't even hear him.
I nodded my head at him before sitting there in an awkward position as Luke held onto me tightly.
"Are you sure you want her to feel like you have moved on?" I asked.
He took in a deep breath before nodding his head silently.
"But why?"
"I have my reasons." He said before breaking the hug and going back, "it's getting late. Go now. I'll pick you up, okay?"
I couldn't help but make sure he was fine before getting out of the car and closing the door. I stood there facing the car as Luke tried to smile before driving away.
I stood still looking at the now empty spot before turning around towards my house. I walked a few steps before I saw a person leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets.
For how long has he been here? Did he see everything?
He pushed himself off the wall before coming and standing in front of me. I stretched my neck to look at him. His hazel eyes looked tired as they bored into mine.
"How long?" I asked.
"Half an hour." He replied silently.
"What is it?"
"I just wanted to see you."
I gazed into his eyes and couldn't help but remember all the things he said to me during the time when we sat next to each other while looking at the stars.
I cleared my throat and asked in somewhat a bold voice, "Why?"
I don't know why but I didn't want Xavier to know that his words were affecting me in any way.
"I just wanted to make sure you were fine." He said looking down at my whole body.
I felt self conscious as I stepped away from him and turned away from him, "I'll go inside then."
I didn't even take two steps when I was stopped by Xavier. He was holding onto my wrist. Slowly, I faced him in a questioning way. He wetted his lips and looked nervous before averting his eyes away from me,
"I saw you hugging Luke." He said silently, "Does that mean you are going to the party?"
My brows furrowed in confusion, "How do you know about the party?"
He looked up at the sky before looking me in the eyes, "Luke called me to ask if he could take you to the party."
"Why would he call you?" I asked incredulously.
He shrugged his shoulders.
"What did you say?" I asked.
I knew what he was going to say. Knowing Xavier he would have said a straight forward 'no'.
And as usual I know it will infuriate me because it was my decision to take and not his.
"I told him it wasn't my call and to let you decide." He still held onto my hand tightly.
I raised my eyebrows in surprise at him. Is he really Xavier Reed? Did he just prioritize my opinion over his?
"You did?" I asked unbelievably.
"Of course. It was your call and not mine....so did you agree?" He asked seriously.
Looking at him this way I could tell that he wanted me to tell him that I denied to go. But somewhere deep down even he knew that I agreed.
"I did." I agreed.
He closed his eyes momentarily before opening them and trying to smile.
"Are you mad?" I asked out of nowhere.
He let's go of my wrist before shaking his head in denial, "I just want you to be happy. No matter where. With whom."
I gulped and looked into his hazel eyes. No matter how much I try I can't help but be surprised whenever he says something good to me. And lately Xavier has been nothing but good to me.
Is this how it felt to be liked by Xavier?
He was a completely different person. Or he had been a complete different person with me before. But now he showed me the side he never had. He showed me that he cared for me. He was putting my opinion over his. My choice mattered to him.
___