Chapter 37: XXXVII

Chapter 37: Lost Control

Elena’s eyes burned from staring at her phone screen for what felt like hours, waiting for a message from Riley. It had been nearly a week since she’d sent the last one—the one that was supposed to let Riley know she was there, that she hadn’t given up. But Riley hadn’t replied. She hadn’t called. She hadn’t shown any sign of acknowledging Elena’s existence.

Her stomach twisted every time she thought about it. She hadn’t been this frustrated in a long time, and for some reason, it felt like all of her emotions were building up into something that she couldn’t control. She clenched her phone in her hand, her knuckles white. How many times had she checked it today alone? It was ridiculous.

Finally, unable to take the silence anymore, Elena tossed her phone onto the bed with a frustrated scream. The sound of her voice in the quiet room seemed almost foreign, like it didn’t belong to her. She paced the floor of her apartment, her mind racing. She had done everything. She had given Riley space. She had reached out. She had let her know how much she cared. But still, nothing.

The anger was bubbling up now, a fire she couldn’t suppress. Every unanswered message, every call left ringing through the silence, it was pushing her to the edge. She wanted to understand. She wanted an explanation. What had she done wrong? Was she not good enough? Had Riley just stopped caring?

“Fuck!” Elena shouted, punching the wall with her fist. The pain that shot up her arm was nothing compared to the emotional ache that gnawed at her. She couldn’t keep doing this. She couldn’t keep being the one left in the dark, wondering what the hell had happened to the girl she thought she knew so well.

Just then, a knock echoed from her door. Elena stopped pacing, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. She’d barely noticed she was crying, but she wasn’t about to let anyone see that—not right now, at least. She didn’t want to be weak. She didn’t want to cry over this, but she could feel the tears threatening to spill again.

Another knock. Then, a voice, muffled through the door.

“Elena? It’s Maya. Can I come in?”

Elena sucked in a breath, trying to steady herself before answering. Maya. Of course. Maya always knew when something was wrong. Always. She had an uncanny ability to read Elena’s mood, even when she didn’t want anyone to.

“Yeah. Come in,” Elena said, her voice hoarse.

The door opened, and Maya stepped inside, her eyes immediately finding Elena. She frowned when she saw the state Elena was in. The anger in her eyes, the mess of her hair, the way her clothes hung loosely from her body like she hadn’t bothered to change all day. Maya walked closer, her gaze flicking between the girl in front of her and the phone lying discarded on the bed.

“Elena… what’s going on?” Maya asked, her voice calm but concerned.

Elena swallowed hard, her eyes never leaving the floor. She didn’t know where to start, but the words came out in a rush anyway.

“She’s ignoring me, Maya. I’ve tried everything. I’ve been patient. I’ve given her space. I’ve told her I’m here for her, and she still won’t answer me. What the hell did I do wrong? Why is she doing this to me?”

Maya didn’t say anything at first. She just watched Elena, taking in her frustration, her helplessness. Elena was shaking now, her hands clenched into fists at her sides. She had been holding back for too long, trying to keep it together, but everything was unraveling.

“I don’t know what’s going on with Riley, Elena,” Maya said gently, her tone soft but firm. “But you can’t keep doing this to yourself. You can’t keep waiting around for something that might never happen.”

“I don’t know what else to do!” Elena’s voice cracked, and she felt the sting of tears in her eyes again. She wiped them away angrily. “I’ve tried everything. I’ve given her space, I’ve let her know I’m here, I’ve… I’ve just tried everything!”

Maya took a step forward, placing a hand gently on Elena’s shoulder. “I know, I know. But you’re burning yourself out, and it’s not helping. You can’t keep letting her behavior control how you feel about yourself. If she’s going to pull away, you need to let her go, at least for now.”

Elena let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. “I can’t just let her go, Maya. I care too much. I don’t know how to do that.”

Maya sighed, her gaze softening with sympathy. “I know it’s hard. But you can’t force someone to talk to you. You can’t make someone care if they don’t want to. If she’s pulling away, you have to give her the space to figure things out, even if that’s hard for you.”

Elena opened her mouth to argue but paused. Her emotions were all tangled up in knots, and Maya’s words were starting to sink in, slowly. Could she really just walk away from this? Could she really stop waiting for Riley to come back?

“Do you think she’s just... done?” Elena whispered, the words tasting bitter on her tongue.

Maya hesitated. “I don’t know. But I don’t think you can fix this right now. You need to take a step back, focus on yourself for a while.”

“Focus on myself?” Elena repeated, incredulous. “How am I supposed to do that when the one person I want to be around won’t even talk to me?”

“I get it,” Maya said, her voice gentle. “I really do. But sometimes, people need space. And you deserve to be around people who are actually there for you, not just wondering where the hell someone is. I’m here for you. Danny’s here for you. The rest of the crew is here for you. Don’t forget that.”

Elena ran a hand through her hair, her eyes squeezed shut. She wanted to shout, wanted to scream at the unfairness of it all. She didn’t want to be the one left behind. She didn’t want to be the one left wondering if Riley had just moved on. But the longer she stayed in this waiting game, the more it felt like she was losing herself.

“I don’t know if I can do that,” Elena admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

Maya’s eyes softened, and she stepped closer, wrapping her arms around Elena in a hug that felt more comforting than anything else had in days. “You don’t have to do anything right now. Just breathe. We’ll figure it out. One step at a time, okay?”

Elena stood frozen for a moment, then slowly relaxed into the hug, the tension in her body easing ever so slightly. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take,” she whispered against Maya’s shoulder.

Maya didn’t answer right away, letting the silence stretch between them. Then, finally, she spoke. “You don’t have to do it alone, Elena. You have me. You have all of us. And you’re stronger than you think.”

Elena let out a long, shaky breath, nodding against Maya’s shoulder. Maybe she didn’t have all the answers. Maybe she didn’t know what would happen with Riley. But for now, she was going to let go, at least for a little while. She had to. For her own sanity.

“Thanks, Maya,” Elena said quietly.

“Anytime,” Maya replied, pulling back and giving Elena a reassuring smile.