Ilya felt like a fucking superhero as he got dressed for his next game.
The press of the ring that hung around his neck against his chest, under the layers of jersey, pads, and athletic shirt, was still foreign, but it sent a thrill through him every time he felt it. No one had asked about the ring. Probably no one had noticed it. Ilya wouldnât give a straight answer if anyone did ask. He had a reputation for being mysterious anyway.
Heâd met with Galina that afternoon after Shane had left, and theyâd mostly talked about his near-death experience. He hadnât told her that heâd gotten engaged. It still felt too new, too precious, to share with anyone.
Galina had probably noticed the change in him, though. He knew an engagement ring wasnât a cure for depression, but he was happy to ride this high for as long as he could.
Which was why he hadnât exactly gotten into his mental health concerns with Shane, like heâd planned. He was still optimistic that he could fix himself without troubling his future husband. It was probably stupid, but, well, Ilya had been feeling a bit stupid these past few days.
Tonightâs game was at home, and they were facing the number one ranked New York Admirals. Ilya wasnât intimidated. He was Ilya fucking Rozanov, and it was time for his team to start winning.
He walked to the middle of the locker room. âEveryone listen.â
The room immediately fell silent. Ilya wasnât surprised. He rarely gave speeches, preferring to lead with action more than words. Admittedly, he had no idea what he was going to say now, but he needed to say .
He decided to start with something attention-grabbing. âThe New York Admirals are not a better team than us.â
As he expected, his teammates began to scoff and laugh at that. Ilya talked right over it. âThey are . They have Scott Hunter, we have .â
Across the room, Ilya could see Troyâs lips curve up. He kept going. âThey have Tommy Anderssonâa good goalie. Young, talented, yes. We have Wyatt Hayesâa goalie.â He found Wyatt and grinned at him. âOld, talented.â
That caused the room to erupt into laughter and applause. Wyatt smiled back at him and said, Ilya continued until heâd named every player in the room, pointing out what made them great. What made this great.
âI am fucking tired of losing. Enough. We are going to win this game tonight, and we are going to keep winning.â Since he was already making lofty promises, he decided to aim even higher. âWe are going to fill every seat in this fucking arena. We are going to surprise and we are going to the playoffs this year. Not next year. Not in the future.
â
Not one person in the room rolled their eyes or waved his bold predictions away. They all cheered, and it made Ilyaâs heart soar. He loved this fucking team.
âWe went through something together. It was fucking scary. But we are alive. We are all alive and I donât plan on wasting another second of it.â No more losing, no more hiding his feelings, no more hiding his boyfriend. No more being afraid of his dark thoughts. No more being afraid of flying.
He finished the speech with, âLetâs fucking go.â
The roar of his teammates was deafening.
They won the fucking game.
Ilya scored, Troy scored, Luca scored. Even fucking Tanner Dillon had scored. Wyatt made great saves all night. And every minute had been .
They partied in the locker room after, then moved the party to Monkâs. This time, Ilya had gone too. He wouldnât have missed it.
âYou are so bad at pool,â he chirped at Bood while bending to take a shot. âHow am I supposed to do this when there are so many of your balls in my way?â
âThatâs my strategy,â Bood said with a grin.
Ilya huffed, took his shot, then watched in dismay as one of Boodâs balls went into a side pocket. Bood cracked up. âSee? You do my work for me.â
âLike on the ice, you mean?â
Bood pointed his cue at him menacingly. âOkay. You can fuck off now.â
They both laughed. Ilya was in a great mood. Not only had the game been a blast, and he was having a great time drinking with his teammates, but heâd seen Troy leave the bar with Harris a few minutes ago. Plenty to celebrate.
Ilya went to pour himself another beer and found the pitcher empty. âAnother?â he asked Bood.
âNah. I have to get home. Cassie is about to have a baby any second.â
âYes. Of course. Tell Cassie I say hello.â
Bood hugged him, then thumped him hard on the back. âGood game tonight.â
âYou mean the hockey game, yes? Not the pool.â
âNot the pool,â Bood agreed. âHave a good night, Roz.â
Ilya wasnât quite ready to go home yet. He was worried the good vibes would end as soon as he was alone. He went to the bar, ordered another beer, then carried it to a table where a bunch of guys were watching Luca Haas doâ¦something.
âDid you know that Luca could draw like this?â Evan Dykstra asked when he saw Ilya. âThis is amazing.â
âLet me see,â Ilya said, and leaned over the table. Luca was working on a pencil drawing of Spider-Man. It looked professional.
âHoly shit,â Ilya said. âIncredible. I cannot draw at all.â
âAnd heâs, like, half drunk,â Dykstra said proudly.
âItâs not that good,â mumbled Luca. âI messed the webs up on his shoulders.â He sighed and grabbed the eraser that was sitting on the table next to him.
âNo!â Ilya protested. âDonât erase it.â
âIâm just going to fix it,â Luca said with a little smile. âThis is for Nickâs son. Do you want me to draw you a Spider-Man next, Ilya?â
Ilya kind of wanted to say yes. He sat in the only empty chair and watched with fascination as Luca fixed whatever had been bothering him about the drawing.
âIs this what you have in that backpack you always carry?â Ilya asked. âDrawing stuff?â
Luca pushed his glasses back up his nose with the end of his pencil. âMostly, yes.â He finished the drawing, signed it, then shook his hand out. âIâm taking a break. My fingers are cramped.â
âWhy are you not an artist for a job, Haas?â Ilya said.
Luca laughed. âI think hockey pays better.â
âYou should design my next tattoo,â Ilya said. âLike, a cool animal.â
Luca stared at him. âAre you serious?â
Ilya shrugged. He hadnât thought much about his next possible tattoo, but it would be nice to have one designed by a teammate. âSure.â
âThat is a lot of pressure,â Luca said.
âIf it is too much I will get someone else to do it,â Ilya teased. âD, do you want to design my tattoo?â
Dykstra grinned. âYou want a stickman or a heart?â
Luca stood and stretched his back, twisting from side to side. âI am getting another beer.â
âGet a pitcher,â Ilya said. âWe can share.â
âOh,â Luca said, then he smiled. âYes, okay.â
Now that the art show was over the other guys started to leave the table to mingle. By the time Luca returned with the pitcher and a stack of glasses, Ilya was the only one left.
âSo,â Ilya said after Luca had sat down, âhow are you enjoying being the fan favorite?â
Luca poured himself a beer. âI am the favorite. You are, of course.â
âI am old news. You are new and exciting.â
âI am new and nervous. And probably disappointing.â
âDisappointing? How? You have been playing less than four months.â
Lucaâs eyebrows rose above his glasses. âHow many goals did you score in your first four months in the NHL?â
Ilya smiled and took a sip of beer. He didnât need to answer. He was sure Luca knew.
Luca sighed. âI should not compare myself toâ¦â He waved a hand at Ilya. âOf course you are the best.â
âOf course,â Ilya agreed playfully.
Luca leaned forward, and for the first time Ilya noticed that he did seem a bit drunk. âI had your poster on my wall. When I was a kid.â
âWhen you were a kid,â Ilya teased. âLike when? Last year? Four months ago?â
Luca huffed and took a sip of beer.
âWhich poster was it? Did I look handsome?â
âYou always lookââ Lucaâs cheeks flushed bright red. âIt was just a hockey picture. With all your gear.â
Ilya mentally filed that slip-up under . âIs the poster still on your wall?â he asked. âBe honest.â
âDid you bring it with you? I can sign it if you like.â
Luca laughed and shook his head. âYes. I have it over my bed,â he said sarcastically.
âThis will be distracting for people you are trying to have sex with.â
Luca laughed again, this time more of a shocked sputter. âMaybe that is the problem.â
Ilya leaned in. âProblem?â
âNothing. I was joking.â Luca pressed his lips together and looked away, as if deciding whether or not to admit something. Then he said, to his beer, âIt is hard to meet people to, um, do that with. Lately.â
Ilya had not expected to be pulled into a conversation about sex with his rookie, but he supposed he was an expert. âIs it? Do you go out? Or use apps? I am sure most of Ottawa wants to fuck you.â
Luca coughed. âThat is, umâI have tried apps a bit, yes.â
âNo luck?â
âNot really. I am a bit nervous about meeting people.â
Ilya smiled. âNo shit.â
âYou never had this problem, I am guessing.â
âNo,â Ilya said honestly. âBut it can beâ¦complicated. Being very young and famous and wanting sex but wanting to be, umâ¦â He searched for the right word. âCareful?â
Luca nodded. âYes. Careful.â
âI was maybe not so concerned with careful,â Ilya said. âI had a lot of sex with many people.â
Lucaâs cheeks pinked. âYes. I have heard.â
âWas fine. No problems. Most people want to hook up and move on with no drama. Even when you are famous.â
Luca fiddled with a coaster. âI am not so much looking for hookups.â
âOh. You donât like sex?â
Luca turned redder. âI like it, yes. I am, um, particular. Maybe. Or shy. I donât know.â He let out a nervous giggle. âThis is not a conversation I thought I would have with you.â
Ilya grinned. âBut I am right beside your bed, watching you have sex!â
âDude! I did just hear that!â
Ilya turned to see Dykstra standing behind him, laughing. âStop spying.â
âStop watching the rookies have sex, then?â
Ilya glared at him. âHe has a poster of me. Is a joke.â
Dykstraâs brow furrowed, and he looked at Luca. âYou have a poster of Roz beside your bed?â
âNo! When I was a kid I did.â
Dykstra laughed. âDude, you a kid.â
âI am older than I look,â Luca explained with the earnestness of a drunk twenty-year-old.
âYeah,â said Dykstra. âMy one-year-old daughter is older than look.â He laughed at his own joke. âSpeaking of which, Iâm out.â He fist-bumped both of them, then headed toward the exit.
âYou look older than one,â Ilya assured Luca.
Luca snorted and shook his head. âThey say never meet your heroes.â
Ilya grinned and decided he liked this kid a lot.