Chapter 36: chapter 36

I stood gazing at him till he gulped his breakfast. It was a respite to see him feed on his own. I hurried with a glass of water and tore the medicines for him. After speaking something, he swallowed the pills on my continuous protestation. He would exude rubbing his chest with his right hand, "I am feeling better after gulping all the medicines."Rice, gram, pulses and green vegetables comprised his lunch. There were no medicines for the noon. He continued drinking warm water. I made sure he ate his lunch properly. I prepared chapattis, vegetable curry or some sweet dish for dinner. Again I sat with his medicines for nearly half an hour to make him swallow the medicines, explaining to him the remedial benefits of each capsule. Sometimes he complained that that medicine made him drowsy but I didn't find him lethargic. Yes, he did feel a little tired and had the urge to procrastinate things but he didn't sleep during day time. Somebody pursued regular intake of non-vegetarian items in his diet to restore his health. I prepared chicken curry every alternative day ignoring the Sundays and Mondays when my mother-in-law had prohibited cooking non-veg in the house. So, I cooked egg, fish curry and chicken irrespective of the auspicious or inauspicious day. My husband's recovery became my priority, all other traditional beliefs went downhill. A new kind of love was generated between us. This year we had completed twenty years of marital bliss. It was my rebirth ever since I battled with covid and fought against my husband's depression. It was a different tale of love between a married couple.There was no steady improvement in the first month of taking medicines rather his tantrums changed. He became fickle-minded. He forgot what he told me a few minutes ago. He showed the tendency of reading our minds. His anxiety levels were still high. He appeared extra concerned for my sons and mother-in-law. After coming home from the shop with my mother-in-law he would enquire about her well-being. He worried to pay wages to all his workers at the earliest and maintained their accounts meticulously. He went to the shop reluctantly. He took complete charge of his father's shop but he was not confident about the finance. He doubted his calculations remaining engulfed in a web of self-doubts.The anti-depression pills are licensed medicines, they are not sold without the sanction of a medical expert. It was available only in one chemist shop located in Jamshedpur. He gave them after neatly surveying the doctor's prescription. Gradually, he got addicted to the doses. The first time when the medicines finished, he turned uneasy and wanted to fetch the medicines instantly. He had phoned his friend to do the favour for him, yet he took out his car and started to leave for Jamshedpur. His friend called him to inform him that he is on the way back to the town. My husband had to return after covering a distance of nearly about 20 km. He seemed restless about everything. He wanted everything in a fraction of a second. A little noise from anywhere compelled him to learn the root cause of its existence. Construction work was carried on in just our next-door neighbour's house. Early in the morning the banging, hitting, jostling, and welding noise filled our house. My husband felt disturbed by the continuous hammering. He was unable to concentrate and my younger son was asked to look for what was going on in the other house. He felt satisfied, relieved and relaxed after hearing his answers. I and my sons used to sit and discuss his improving conditions whenever we got respite.