I was freaking OUT.
I hadnât seen anything like this since â
Wellâ¦
Since I was six years old.
And I was struggling to keep from having a panic attack.
I mean, Iâd just watched Roderigo get blown away â
And another one of Nonaâs men get shot all to hell â
All while hanging over the Mountainâs shoulder.
And now there was a dead man with a hole in his head leaking blood all over the floor of the boat.
The giant from Tuscany was not exactly sympathetic.
âSHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!â he screamed at me.
âTHEREâS A DEAD BODY!â I yelled back.
âAND THEREâS GONNA BE TWO MORE IF I DONâT GET US OUT OF HERE!â
I winced as I stepped through the puddle of crimson and maneuvered to the back seats.
In her song âBodak Yellow,â Cardi B calls Christian Louboutins âbloody shoesâ because of their signature red soles.
Well, my Louboutins were bloody shoes for real.
I felt the slight motion of the boat as we moved away from the pier.
I was just turning around to sit when a giant spike in acceleration threw me backwards onto my ass â
And we shot out into the Grand Canal at top speed.
âA LITTLE WARNING WOULD BE NICE, ASSHOLE!â I screamed at him.
He ignored me as he sped down the center of the waterway â
Straight for a Vaporetto, one of the âwater busesâ that ferried dozens of people at a time through Venice.
âWATCH OUT!â I shrieked.
He jerked the wheel at the last second, and we curved out of the path of the Vaporetto â
Towards a water taxi and a couple of motorboats.
I screamed again, but he managed to avoid them as we sped down the middle of the waterway.
All the other boats hugged the sides of the canal to keep out of our way.
Massimo apparently knew how to drive a boat â
But he did not know how deal with traffic, that was for damn sure.
âDo I need to come up there and drive?!â I shouted angrily.
âNo, but you need to tell me how to get to your grandmotherâs!â
âThe fastest way would be to take the â â
âWhat?!â he yelled over the roar of the motor and the wind.
Fuck this.
I leaned forward, grabbed the passenger seat in front of me, and pulled myself onto my feet.
Then I winced as I stepped through the blood and over the corpse â
And plopped down in the seat next to Massimo.
âThe fastest way is to turn around and go down the canal next to the university!â I yelled.
It was still hard to be heard over the wind, but it was a hell of a lot easier now that I was two feet away from him.
âNot happening!â he yelled as he concentrated on avoiding the other boats. âThe shooter was coming out as we left!â
So thatâs why he took off like a bat out of hellâ¦
âAlright, then â see that smaller canal coming up on the right? If you take that, youâll â â
âNo smaller canals!â he shouted. âWe have to go as fast as possible, and we canât get boxed in!â
I rolled my eyes.
If youâre not going to take my advice, then why did you fucking ask for it?
âThe Grand Canal eventually dumps out into the Giudecca Canal. Keep going to the left and hug the coastline, and youâll circle around the island.â
âOkay.â
The Grand Canal cuts through the center of Venice in a giant âSâ shape. Itâs only about 225 feet at its widest.
The Giudecca Canal, on the other hand, is huge â about 1200 feet wide. Itâs not even a canal, really â more like a waterway between Giudecca Island and the city of Venice.
We were going so fast that we reached it in less than a minute.
Massimo hung a left and started towards the southeastern tip of Venice â
When I looked behind us and saw a scary sight.
Another speedboat was approaching at top speed â
And it wasnât a police cruiser.
âSomebodyâs chasing us!â I yelled.
Massimo looked over his shoulder, cursed, and asked, âDo you know how to drive a boat?â
âI live in Venice. YES, I know how to drive a boat, you fucking chauvinist pig,â I shouted over the wind.
âI didnât know mafia princesses drove themselves around,â he yelled back.
I think he was trying to sneer as he said it, but it kinda lost its effect when he had to shout at the top of his lungs to be heard.
âThey do when they sneak out all the fuckinâ time!â
âTake the wheel and switch with me.â
âWhat are you gonna do?!â
âDeal with our friends,â he shouted.
I grabbed the wheel to keep it steady, waited until he moved past me, then dropped my purse on the passenger side and scooted over into the driverâs seat.
I was freaked out, yeah â
But it was a fuckinâ rush, too. Iâd never driven anything this fast before.
I didnât tell him, that, though. Wouldâve undercut the whole You fuckinâ chauvinist pig part.
Massimo grabbed the dead guyâs assault rifle off the bottom of the boat. The fact that it had blood all over it didnât seem to bother him one bit.
He maneuvered to the back row of seatsâ¦
Braced the gun on the top of a headrestâ¦
And fired.
BLAM!
He had it on single mode because there was only one gunshot.
I glanced over my shoulder.
The boat behind us moved farther away, off to the right.
BLAM!
Pauseâ¦
BLAM!
Pauseâ¦
BLAM!
Massimo was taking his time to aim â like a sniper would.
I glanced back over my shoulder and saw the boat had fallen significantly behind us.
Good.
We were coming up around the southeastern tip of Venice, so I throttled back to make the turn.
âWhy the fuck are you slowing down?!â he shouted.
âBecause weâll roll the boat if I take it any faster, you IDIOT!â I shouted back.
ââ¦oh,â he said, then went back to watching our pursuers.
I guess they were far enough away that it wasnât worth shooting at them, because he came back and crouched next to me in the aisle.
âMove over,â he shouted.
âFuck you,â I shouted back. âYou just keep an eye on the other boat.â
He seemed to grumble â I couldnât actually hear it over the roaring wind â but he didnât argue.
As we curved into the straightaway, I hit the throttle again and went back to full speed.
My hair was blowing straight out behind me, we were going so fast.
Ruined my up-do, but fuck if it wasnât worth it.
âWhy arenât they shooting back at us?â I yelled over the wind.
âBecause they donât want to hit you.â
âWhy not?â
âThey want you as a bargaining piece.â
âWho are they?â
âDo you know who the Wagner Group is?â
âDUH. I read the news.â
They were the guys who had done most of the Russian fighting in Ukraine â and then nearly taken over Moscow.
âTheyâre probably Wagner,â he shouted.
âWhat the fuck do a bunch of Russian mercenaries want with me?â
âThe people who ACTUALLY whacked the Agrellas sent them.â
He sounded kind of pissed off as he shouted it.
Probably because Iâd yelled the same thing in a hall full of normies.
Fuck him.
Heâd spanked me in public.
Asshole.
(Even though a little shiver went through me as I remembered it.)
âSo your family DIDNâT whack the Agrellas?â I shouted.
âNo.â
âWho did, then?â
âA guy working for my uncle.â
âUh, HELLO â since when is your uncle not your family?â
âSince heâs trying to whack me and my brothers, too.â
ââ¦oh.â
That must have made for an awkward family get-together.
âHowâd those guys in the boat know we were coming?â I shouted.
âEither the shooter at Caâ Foscari called them, orâ¦â Massimo got a troubled look on his face. âWhereâs your phone?â
âIn my bag.â
He reached over, rummaged in my Birkin â
âHey, I didnât say you could GET IT!â I yelled, but he ignored me.
He pulled out my iPhone â
And then threw it over the side of the boat.
âWHAT THE FUCK, DUDE?!â I screamed at the top of my lungs.
âWe were tracking you through Find My iPhone,â he shouted over the wind. âIf we could do it, they were probably doing it.â
âYOU DONâT KNOW THAT!â
âA guy named Giotto betrayed your grandmother. There might be other moles.â
Shit â Giotto had been with us since I came to live with Nonaâ¦
Although that didnât excuse throwing my phone overboard.
âYou couldâve just turned it OFF!â I shouted.
âBetter to be safe than sorry.â
âYou IDIOT â they know weâre going back to my grandmotherâs! They donât even need to track us!â
Massimo got a look on his face like Oh shit, youâre right.
Of course, he didnât say the âyouâre rightâ part out loud.
Prick.
âWe canât go back, then,â he shouted.
âWhat the fuck do you mean we canât go back?!â I yelled. âAll you wanted to do before was take me back â now youâre like, âPsyyyyychâ?!â
âThat was before I knew there was another team of mercenaries.â
I was still furious about my phone, but I had a more pressing concern. We were approaching the point where Iâd either have to turn left to go to Nonaâs â
Or take a completely different route and go someplace else.
âIf weâre not going home, then where are we going, genius?â I shouted.
âCan you take us somewhere on the mainland? Someplace not heavily populated?â
Venice lay to the west, on our left. The island of Murano was in the distance ahead of us, and the island of Le Vignole was to the northeast.
Between the latter two were a series of smaller islands â and plenty of channels that led to the huge stretch of water between Venice and the mainland.
âYeah, I can do that. What about the guys behind us?â
He looked. âIt doesnât seem like theyâre following us. Thereâs probably more of them lying in wait near your grandmotherâs palazzo.â
âFuck âem, then,â I shouted as I steered the boat north â away from Venice.