The building strangely intimidates me as I stand in front of it. I look up at it and feel as if it's towering above me menacingly. I remember how over time, it became a comfort to be here, and now here I am, unable to even step a single foot inside. It sharply reminds me of the day Raph and I kissed for the first time, when I was tricked into spending a weekend with him.
Raph's hand silently slips into mine, pulling me back from my thoughts, and when I look over, there is a small smile on his face. Granted, it still isn't as happy as I remember it being, but it's a smile nonetheless. And so together we take the first step into the pack house. Sam and mum follow us inside, but disperse to where they're probably staying. I still haven't taken the time to find out.
We go up the stairs to where the Alpha's office is and turn down the hallway to the right. It's the same way as to the room Raph and I used to stay at for a short while. The thought hurts still, remembering why Randy made us stay here in the first place hurts.
There's the faint sound of a closing door behind us, but I pay it no attention as we continue on down the hallway.
'Well, would you look at that.'
I whip around immediately, my eyes big in shock.
Standing at the other end of the hallway stands a petite girl. Her hair is cut short, ears full of piercings, accompanied by a couple in her nose, her lips are a dark cherry colour and her whole attire is entirely black. I look her up and down, trying to place the person in front of me with the person I barely knew even back then.
'Mary,' I breathe.
'The one and only.' she says with a snarky undertone. Her hands are on her hips now, looking me up and down in turn.
'I didn't believe her for a second when Larry said you were here now. Thought you just up and left.'
I'm not quite sure how to interpret her tone. It's almost like she's upset and it takes me a second to comprehend why she would be. And then I remember we were friends, kind of, back before I left my old pack. I remember how Mary was always the one seeking me out, to make me feel better and to help me, when I never gave anything back. And I feel bad, I feel guilty, yet again, for yet another one of my numerous mistakes.
'Yo, Raphael. I see you've changed your mind since I saw you last.' One of her eyebrows is lifted suggestively and I when I look over, Raph has a small, but genuine grin on his face. He, of course, doesn't say anything, but he lifts our still clasped hands to bring them up to his face and kisses the back of my hand, still looking directly at Mary.
'I agree. Definitely the better choice. But hey, I've been saying that since that Sheila lady walked away from him the first time.' She shrugs as she says it and in my bewilderment, I wonder how she read him so well.
'How are you here?' I finally ask, trying to make sense of her presence, which gives way to a tiny bit of happiness in my heart.
'Follow me, lovebirds, and I shall show you.'
She walks past us with a strong, confident, yet somehow laid back stride. It's incredible how much she's changed, yet still stayed the same, from back then and it makes me remember how much time actually passed since then.
She walks towards the office as if it's her own, pushing both doors open like a queen making an entry and I stiffen immediately. It's this office that I stormed into that stopped me from talking to Marc for so long and her barging in like this, makes less than nice memories resurface. I stop for a moment, then force myself to take deep breaths and walk in.
Alpha Marc and Randy stand in the far corner, discussing something between themselves, barely looking up as we enter and while the rejection hurts, I'm also strangely relieved that I don't have to deal with the awkwardness just yet. I haven't really seen either of them since that little incident.
However, my attention is almost immediately caught by the woman sitting on the sofa, smiling happily at Mary, who is walking over to her.
I don't know what to say.
Clarissa, as well as everyone else on team, risked so much, simply to bring my family back together and yet I repaid them by ignoring everyone for weeks, months even, by not even finding it my heart to truly care about her being gone for so long. I want to go over and say something, and I take the first step, but before I can do anything more, Mary reaches Clarissa and simply bends down to kiss her on the lips.
I stop, stunned, not having expected this at all.
'Close the fly catcher there, doggo.' Mary's smug expression accompanies her words as she gracefully sits down on Clarissa's lap and crosses her legs. She points at her own chin before nodding at me, her taunting grin never leaving her face.
I close my mouth that apparently opened and blink a few times in confusion.
A quiet chuckle next to me makes me shift my gaze to Raph, who simply pulls me closer to him so he can give me a side hug. The sudden show of affection is so unexpected, I can't help but stay in shock. He lets go of me too soon and Mary's laughter rings brightly through the room. Even Marc and Randy look up from their conversation for a second.
'We're mates, Donovan.' Clarissa finally says. Then her expression softens. 'It's good to see you.'
I can see the pity on her face, the sorry she never says and all the reassuring comments everyone always says and it makes me want to leave the room. I don't want pity and I most definitely don't deserve it. I look down to my shoes.
Raph pulls my hand and I follow blindly, letting myself be pushed to sit down on a sofa opposite Clarissa and Mary.
'Can we start now?' The impatient tone makes me look up at Randy immediately, who is now standing on my right and Clarissa's left. His hands are placed at his hips, jutted to one side, and his left foot is tapping on the floor, as impatient as his question.
'The idiots are here now, so just talk already.' I can tell he is holding back a ton of swear words as he speaks, but somehow, he manages not to slip once.
'Sure.', Clarissa says nonchalantly, then turns to Raph and me. 'We just wanted you to be here as well, is all.' Her tone is warm and I remember the friend I made while living here and again the guilt felt ready to crush me.
'When we were on our way back with Christa and Samuel, we ran into some rogues right after leaving Alpha Timothy's land. Me and a few others stayed behind so the rest could get a head start. We managed to deal with them, but I got injured quite badly and decided to stay behind. I let the others go ahead so I could follow them after I healed.' She stops here to shift her eyes towards Mary, whose face has gotten darker as Clarissa went on. Clarissa wraps her arms around her mate and grasp her hands in her own, in reassurance. Almost on autopilot, I scoot closer to Raph myself, squeezing his hand, only for him to squeeze right back.
'I didn't heal as fast as I would have liked because I was loosing too much blood, so I simply blacked out at some point. When I woke up, I was in this one's care.' she says lovingly, squeezing Mary's waist a bit.
'Yeah, I had that habit of taking strolls in the woods, got into it after someone just decided to up and leave without telling me.' Mary continues. Her words feel like a fist to my stomach. For her to have felt the need to walk around the woods, and so far in as well, often enough to make it a habit, simply to either look for me or the deal with her emotions makes me feel sick.
'Regardless, I found her laying naked in the middle of the woods, and so my good samaritan heart decided to take her home to see whether she was still alive - no offence.' Mary addresses the last part to Clarissa with a tiny little grin. 'Although it might have had something to do with her gorgeous body, who knows.' Clarissa only laughs at her comment, pecks Mary's cheek and then continues herself.
'I knew she was my mate when I woke up, but it took me a couple of days to figure out whether she realised I was a werewolf or not. And then I struggled to leave her. I didn't particularly want to take her here either, since I didn't know whether the rogues would still be an issue. So we lay low for a while and the rest you know.' Her faces falls towards the end and is now turned downwards, like mine was earlier. She stays like this for a second, hesitating, and no one speaks, understanding her need for space.
She finally lifts her head, looking me straight in the eyes when she speaks.
'I apologise for not fulfilling my duties to the extent I should have. I take full responsibility.' Her voice and her eyes are strong, not a speck of hesitation at all now. Her back is straight, her shoulders back and her head held high, like the wolf she's always been. She then slowly slides Mary off her lap and stands up, turning to Marc and Randy now. She slowly lowers herself to her knees, head now bowed.
'I understand my misstep in not returning upon my immediate recovery and will accept any punishment you see fit.'
The room is silent and while I can see Mary desperately wanting to interrupt, even she understands that she can't.
This pack isn't generally a violent one, nor a very strict one when it comes to disciplining members, but that is largely due to no one feeling the need to step outside of boundaries. I don't know at all how Marc handles situations like this.
'Do you regret it?' Randy is the one that finally asks. I risk a glance at the alphas, but Marc is sitting back, eyes closed, but with a stern look on his face, while Randy is sitting tall and powerful.
Clarissa's head slowly lift when she hears the question, and looks Randy directly in the eyes.
'No.' is her only answer. Randy nodded.
'Then there is nothing that needs to be addressed here. Welcome back. Now stand the fuck up, looking down gives me a headache.' He sloppily waves his hand around in emphasis and I see Clarissa slip a small smile before she catches herself and stands back up.
'Thank you, Alpha.' she says honestly.
'Yeah, yeah, whatever.' Randy waves her off, clearly uncomfortable now. But that discomfort fades in a heartbeat as his gaze shifts to me.
'Now to the two of you.'