⢠⢠â¢
Leah Baker
I rolled on my side, pulling the comforter over my head like they made what I was doing imaginary. The emptiness of the bed served as an immediate reminder that it was very real.
My finger moved up the screen, reading the picture captions, the statuses.
The white screen switched to black, and I was now studying tweets, scanning through likes.
Another switch, another black screen, pictures in the shape of boxes.
She didn't seem like a bad person.
I wanted to message her. I wanted to ask if she knew. The last strands of hope that maybe if she knew, she'd reject him.
I didn't know her but I hated her.
She was 22. Five years younger than us, and from the stuff she put on the internet, seemed immature. That made no sense to me because Elijah hated immaturity.
Nothing he did made sense to me anymore.
My finger hovered over the small heart as I observed the picture. She was standing beside her parents and another young couple, smiling proudly as she held her diploma up for the camera.
Kensley was beautiful, but she wasn't me.
3:30 AM
I left the room and to go into the kitchen, bumping into Elijah who was coming out of the guest room.
He barely looked at me before he continued down the stairs. I noticed he was wearing shoes, saw the key fob in his hand, "Where are you going?"
I knew the answer, but he never outright admitted that he was going there. I'd like to think that I put up with that because I hurt him first. He just needed to hurt me back, and we could move on from it.
The affair lasted a mere 6 months. This was barely month 2 for him and Kensley.
"Elijah?"
His voice drifted upstairs "Go to sleep Leah."
How could I?
Forgetting that I was hungry, I went back to get my phone, using a number I didn't think I'd ever dial without a gun to my head.
The phone rang and rang, until eventually, Marc answered gruffly, "That motherfuckin' house better be on fire."
"I don't know how to get Elijah to stop hating me," I replied pitifully.
They always knew how to get him to do what they wanted, maybe he'd tell me the secret.
"If he beat your ass he'd probably feel better, but he won't. What you cheat for and you know he sensitive?"
"I was hurt. He had y'all to run to, but Tracey acted like he was the only one who lost the baby. And then Eli started worked more, and instead of trying to help, he kept talking about a fucking therapist. I didn't need a therapist. I needed my husband."
Elijah came from a family of shitty people. It's why he distanced himself from them the first chance he got, only to go running back time something happened that he couldn't handle.
We were supposed to work through it together, but he wanted to do it alone, thus forcing me to do it alone as well. He knew my family didn't talk to me, he knew I had no one else.
"Sound like a buncha' excuses." Marc yawned, "You needed dick from another nigga now you mad he want pussy from another bitch. Don't ever call me 'bout no bullshit like this again."
The phone beeped in my ear, and I laid back down, closing my eyes.
"He's mine... I'm his... It doesn't matter what I did."
⢠⢠â¢
Kensley Parker
"I'm starting to think you're not a lawyer forreal." I laughed, "Ms. Lisa Bloom."
"Why everybody think lawyers constantly busy? Niggas don't do illegal shit every day."
"They definitely do."
Elijah was leaning against the counter, "I mean actual illegal stuff. Coby rapping don't count."
"It just took that one time for you?" I dropped the stick of butter in the pan, watching it start melting, "I knew you was kinda smart."
"Good morning?" Jailyn greeted suspiciously.
Neither one of us turned around, "Good morning."
I texted her last night to tell her that Elijah was coming over, and she responded with laughing face emojis. Since she wanted to be petty, I sent her the link to one of Coby's most popular songs.
The one with 128 streams on Soundcloud. About 20 of those streams were me trying to show my support.
"What you cooking?"
"Chile Elijah said he gonna make us some grilled cheese sandwiches."
She gasped loudly, "Noooo."
"Yessss."
Elijah laughed, "Y'all can go somewhere and buy some y'all some food if y'all gone be ungrateful."
"Yawllll." Jailyn drew out the word, "You so country and cute."
"Not too much Ms. girl. Your future rapper in there sleeping."
She flipped me off with both fingers, "When Eli leaves, I'm on your ass."
The gag was, Elijah wasn't leaving.
⢠⢠â¢
The sun was warm, but not necessarily hot. We didn't need shade, but I'd pushed my sleeves up to be more comfortable.
"You're not bored?" I asked quietly, looking up from my journal to see him just laying there.
"Peaceful."
It was peaceful, but we were surrounded by the flowers again, so how could it not be?
I looked back down, moving my pen across the paper, using the scene to enhance the words that were sloppily being written. It just had to be legible enough for me to rewrite it when I got home.
"What do you do when you're bored?"
Elijah took so long to answer that I almost thought he didn't hear me, "I don't get bored. I can't. I gotta have something to do or I go crazy."
"How is laying there fun for you? You're just...laying there."
His eyes finally opened, "It's a difference in doing shit just to do it, and doing shit because you actually wanna do it. People talk to me all day, Kensley. Just talk for no other reason than to open they mouth. You're writing. The only thing you want from me is to lay here. I know you don't understand, but to not hear somebody ask for some shit for the couple hours that we sit here? That's fun for me."
Let me shut my ass up.
I went back to writing, and his lashes once again met the top of his cheeks.
We sat like that until I looked up and noticed his brother's wife and his niece walking towards us.
"Um... Your sister in law is here."
Elijah turned on his stomach, "You good? Or you wanna leave?"
I was thinking he'd be the one who wanted to leave. You don't bring the woman you're having sex around family.
"I'm fine if you are."
They eventually stopped in front of us, "You stole my spot." She accused with a smile.
"I asked for it." Elijah sat up, "Kensley that's Lauren and Lani. Lani and Lauren, Ken."
I smiled politely, "Hi."
She spoke back, but the way her eyes flitted between us, I could tell she was more focused on trying to decipher the nature of our relationship.
"Daddy called her pretty at the place grandma gets her muffins." Lani offered while sitting on the blanket.
Elijah laughed, "Lani remember we had talked about you throwing salt?"
"We're disappointed but not surprised." Lauren sighed, spreading her own blanket out and mumbling the next words, "Jamarcus the fucking cheater."
Geez. Did anybody on that side have a functional marriage?
I wasn't being judgemental, but what was the point in getting married just to cheat? And why wouldn't anybody leave?
Lani put her earphones in and started watching YouTube videos, and that seemed to be the moment Lauren was waiting for. She looked at me, then back to Elijah, "Can I talk?"
Um?
"If you want..."
"He's paying the bitch's bills. He moved her to an apartment like 10 minutes from us, Eli. What in the entire fuck?"
I wondered if Lani wanted to share her earphones.
Elijah's earlier statement now made perfect sense.
"What you wanna do about it?" He questioned, staring at the sky.
"It's a respect thing."
"Come on Lauren. Ain't no respect there and you know that shit."
I was expecting her to get upset but she didn't seem phased by it at all, fiddling with the diamond necklace that adorned her neck, "I'm trying to be understanding. I can't-"
"Kensley you ready?"
My eyes went to Lauren who still didn't seem phased, "I guess."
Elijah hugged Lauren, her whispering something to him that I wasn't exactly trying to hear, and then he hugged Lani as well.
I gave another smile and followed Elijah out of the field.
⢠⢠â¢
leah felt isolated. isolation can lead to manipulation... it's not an excuse, but it's something to think ab.
thanks for reading ð