This chapter is a long one lads so please please enjoy!! Also READ THE AUTHORS NOTE AT THE END!!!
âââðºâââ
KODA'S PoV:-
My mom never got better.
On my thirteenth birthday, my dad took me to say goodbye.
In a way it was poetic. I know that he lost her the same day I was born, and then to say final goodbyes on the same day thirteen years later was both something that could only be written in a book, and incredibly sad. I know that on that day, I didn't just lose my mom for good, I nearly lost my dad too.
He'd been holding on to the possiblity of her getting better so tightly that it was killing him and the pack, and when he finally lost her, he lost a large part of his soul.
I can still remember my auntie Olivia had to call a pack meeting the week before to tell him that he had to let go of her. I was there, and I remember it as clearly as if it happened yesterday. I remember that she let me sit in. She told me that I deserved to hear about what happened to my mom.
I listened to beta Jasper tell my dad that her brain had finally given up and it was the machines that were keeping her alive. My father's beta nearly lost a large portion of his chest due to the way my dad lashed out. He told me that my mom wasn't coming back and that we were only hurting her because she wasn't being allowed to pass over to be with the moon goddess because her physical body was still alive. That hurt me, hearing how my dad had told me growing up that my mom was in the green flash on the horizon with the moon goddess was a lie, that he'd been selfishly holding onto her because his mate bond to her wouldn't let her go.
Hearing that, hearing what he'd been doing the entirety of my life, had me voting to let her go.
I will never forget the look in his eyes when he saw his own daughter vote to let her mother go. I don't think I will ever see a look more full of betrayal for as long as I live.
It's the day before my eighteenth birthday and I'm going to visit my mom because I figure I'm not going to get the chance to tomorrow. All of my friends have planned my entire day out to the minute, from what time they'll pick me up for breakfast to how many hours of training I'm allowed to do, to what time they'll take me home so I can shower and be ready for my 'surprise' birthday party that I totally know about it. They might try to whisper about it when I'm not around, but I think they forget sometimes that we're all werewolves and my hearing is exceptional.
But, I'm a good friend so I've decided to keep up the surprise and let them believe they're taking me out for a fancy meal that requires me to dress up.
"Koda?" I hear my father's voice from downstairs, and I snap out of my own thoughts and tear my eyes away from the photgraph in my grasp of me and all of my friends. It had fallen off my memory board when I was grabbing the flowers from my desk and landed just in front of my fingers. "Are you ready?"
"Yeah, just give me a second." I call down and pin the photograph back up where it's suposed to be. There's a gap between two pictures of my mom. I sigh and let my eyes drift from the photo to my mirror, my dark eyes resting on my appearance.
I think smething that hurts my dad is how similar I look to my mom now that I'm basically an adult, now that I'm almost the age that she was when he met her. I'm not the spitting image, not like Auntie Olivia's daughter is, or how Esmeralda is to her mother Ayesha, beta Jasper Emery's mate. We have the same sharp jaw, dark hair and eyes and tanned skin. My hair is wavier than my mom's used to be and I'm not as curvy, but I can still see the pain that flashes across my dad's blue eyes whenever I snap him from his thoughts.
Thoughts of my mom no doubt.
I straighten out my outfit, just a plain band tee and ratty jeans, before picking up the flowers and heading downstairs to let my dad know that I'm ready to go and see my mom.
I wince at the guilt that builds in my stomach at the fact I haven't been to see her in a while.
I've just been so busy, and whilst it's not an acceptable excuse it's the only excuse I can give. I've been helping my dad with pack matters in preparation for me taking over when I find my mate and pass his ascension exam. I've also been training for the ascension exam which I will have to start on the first full moon after my birthday. Each pack has their own customs and traditions on how they pass the alpha position onto their children, and the ascension exam is the DawnStar tradition that even my great grandfather had to pass before he became alpha.
"Koda, come on! I have a meeting to attend with Urdnot Azul!" I hear my dad growl again, his impatience delivered through his tone of voice.
I chuckle at how easily frustrated he is and how little patience he has. "Relax dad, I'm here."
I grin cheekily at my dad's unimpressed facial expression, and laugh when I see how his frown begrudgingly slips from his face and transforms into a smile at the sight of me.
He can't stay mad at me, he's never been able to stay mad at me.
"Have you got everything?" My dad asks me. "Keys, flowers, have you hidden your spare clothes for your run back?"
"Dad, relax." I show him the flowers in my hand. "My spare clothes are in the back garden and everything else is in my hands or pockets. You can chill. Just grab your keys and we can go."
My dad chuckles and runs a hand through his long hair. My dad isn't even forty, but the tragedy of losing my mom and having to raise me by himself has caused him to age slightly faster. The hair around his ears has silvered and he has crow feet at the edge of his eyes from giving me the best childhood he could give me. I'm pretty sure I'm the cause of a lot of the greying in his hair, from late nights helping me with school projects to rushing around as my personal taxi when I was too young to shift; especially when he was taking me to my grandparents house and then having to pick me up again. Even though the packs neighboured each other before they were merged, the house that my grandma and grandad retired to once they stopped being overseas ambassadors is at least an hour and a half away.
He doesn't give me lifts anywhere anymore but I think he's taking me today just so he feels a little bit closer to mom for a fleeting moment.
"Be home by six we have training." My dad says as he pulls up at the sidewalk. The ride took barely ten minutes, easily a walking distance away, but like I said I know why he did it. He leans across the seat and gives me a rough kiss in my cheek, his beard scratching against my skin. "Tell her I said hi. I love you little bear."
"I will." I assure him, slipping out of the car and hovering by the door. "Love you dad."
I watch as he peels away from the curb before turning my back and walking up the winding pathway further into the graveyard. It's really peaceful in the morning, the grass hovering over the pathway wetting my shoes with the morning dew. The birds are perched in the branches in the trees, singing their songs across the graveyard, and the wind is warm despite the cool chill that nips with the wind.
I walk the same path I've been walking for over four years, turning right at the angel statue, round the back of the elm tree and a jump over the thin stream that winds its way through the centre of the cemetery and towards the lake in the centre of pack territory.
Mom's grave is hard to miss.
It's the only tombstone that has any colour. Dad made it bright, with purple and gold and blue so it catches any passerby's attention. Not that anyone needs to be reminded that the pack lost its Luna and they should pay respects.
I notice that there are a few people stood at her grave, their hands touching her stone and their eyes closed. I smile at how much my mom affected everyone here in such a short amount of time, and I can only hope I do her proud. Do the pack proud.
They notice that I'm stood waiting for them to finish and they bow their heads and politely go. I didn't want to disturb their time with my mom, so I didn't say anything to them, but I am grateful that I'm allowed to sit and talk to her now.
I lay the flowers down and pull at a few of the weeds that are starting to grow at the base of her stone before sitting cross legged in front of my mom.
"Hey." I grin, tucking a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. "I'm sorry that I haven't been to visit for a while, things have just been hectic lately."
Even though I'm sat by myself, I have always felt like I've been with my mom, like she's sat next to me. Every time. Today is no different, every time I tell her about something funny that happened at school I felt like she was laughing with me, and when I was tell her about my girlish issues I felt like she was listening to me.
I think growing up without my mom, even if I did have auntie Olivia and Ayesha Emery, I never really had anyone to talk to about boys or makeup or the time of the month. My dad is not the type of person to talk to for any of those toppings, especially not boys. I think I'd send my dad into an early grave if I told him about boys I was crushing on.
Time like this with my mom makes me feel almost normal again, even if she doesn't reply to me with words.
"So dad told me to tell you he said hi." I smile softly, using my finger to trace out the letters of her name. "I know he still loves you and he misses you, a lot...."
And I just keep talking.
âââðºâââ
"Happy birthday!"
I groan as several bodies jump on top of me as I desperately try to pull my covers over my head. I was made aware of what time my birthday would start but I still think that half past eight in the morning is so inappropriate.
"Leave me alone!" I grumble, burying my head into my pillow and hiding my body from my friends. "Please go and eat my birthday breakfast without me!"
"We can't eat your birthday breakfast without you, that defeats the point of your birthday breakfast."
Goosebumps raise on my arms at the sound of his voice, and suddenly I'm more awake. I'm hoping this is a sign that there's a chance we'll be mates at my birthday tonight when the moon officially recognises my time of birth at nine o'clock. I always feel like this when I'm around him. A jump in my heart rate, a grin pulling at my face, a giddiness to make him smile or laugh or just look at me. I pull the covers down slightly to reveal my eyes so that I can look at the boy the voice belongs to.
Kieron Emery.
He was born a few weeks before me, and my mom didn't even know Jasper's mate that well, let alone know she was pregnant. Jasper kept it pretty under wraps with the whole war thing going on so even my dad didn't know until Jasper asked for his blessing to allow his new pup into the pack.
He's been my best friend ever since I met him. It was always me, Kieron and Dane. Whether it was play together, train together, imagine new worlds together. Then Dane grew up and he drifted from us, finding friends his age and becoming interested in training and girls and not hanging around with a pair of kids, even if they were two of the most powerful kids in the pack.
We eventually we became strangers to one another. I can't even remember the last time I saw him because he stopped coming to my birthdays.
But Kieron and I? We've stayed close knit and attached at the hip. We got other friends, but it's always been us and our friends, it always will be us.
At least I hope it'll be us.
His amber coloured eyes are cheerful and full of happiness as he launches a pile of presents in my general direction. I shriek and hide my head as the paper hits me square in the face as I wasn't quite fast enough. I glare at him as he laughs before launching himself on top of me. His dark curly hair gets in my mouth as the rest of our friends join the pile on and squash me to the point where I can't breathe.
"Get. Off. All of. You." I wheeze, freeing my arms in order to use my strength to drag bodies from on top of me. I hear a feminine "oomph" followed by a long string of blasphemous curse words which means my friend Penny has gone overboard, shortly followed by her twin sister Opal.
Penny curses like a sailor hence why I knew it was her. Opal is quieter but she's far kinder than her twin.
I dig my fingers into Kieron's side and he gasps, rolling off me and tumbling to the floor. I jump up and allow myself cold air to breathe, glaring venomously at our final friend Archie, who's doubled over and laughing so hard he can barely breathe.
"Stop laughing or I'll bite you." I warn jokingly, shoulder barging last him as I run to my bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. I have approximately seven minutes to get ready to leave the house if I want to stay on Penny's well planned timetable, so I don't bother with makeup or trying hard with my appearance. I throw my hair up into a bun and run back into my room which is now empty besides Kieron.
"I told everyone to wait downstairs." He chuckles, leaning back on his strong arms as he rests on my bed. "I knew you'd be fast so I told them to get the car started."
I smile as I pick my sports bra up from the floor and slip it on under Kieron's tshirt that I wear for bed, Kieron's eyes fixed on me with a relaxed smile on his face.
He never used to be this attractive. He used to be tall and lanky, lacking any muscle with a goofy smile and an untidy mop of frizzy hair. He used to wear clothes too big for him and shorts that were always too baggy. Then he had his first shift when he was fourteen. He was allowed to train with the pack for three months before I shifted so he filled in a lot when I wasn't around. His arms grew stronger and his legs were more muscle than bone for the first time in his life. His jaw even sharpened, god knows how that happened, and his mum finally stopped cutting his hair for him and let him go to a barber's.
He went from being my goofy best friend to my goofy best friend that got hot and I ended up having a crush on.
"Aren't you considerate." I tease, making a spinning motion with my finger which he obeys, turning his head to look the other way as I drop my shirts and pull up some underwear before grabbing my jeans and hopping into them.
"Don't say it with such sarcasm." Kieron quips, grabbing one of his sweatshirts off my floor and throwing it in my direction, which I catch with ease. "Come on, we have forty six seconds to get down stairs before Penny has a fit."
I laugh, take his hand and drag him from the room and down the stairs, past my dad's office which he is obviously inside. I can see light creeping out from underneath the door. I sigh and feel my shoulders deflate slightly at the fact he hasn't said happy birthday to me, but as I've gotten older I understand that today is a difficult day for him to be happy on. I've been getting used to him disappearing for the morning so he can be sad and with mom so that he's happy for my parties that are in the evening.
It's his process and I respect it.
I grin and jump into the backseat of Penny's convertible next to Opal with Kieron shortly behind. Penny puts her foot down and we speed off towards a breakfast that she's no doubt already told the cooks our order.
âââðºâââ
I smooth down my dress and look at myself in the mirror. I barely recognise myself. Penny and Opal love makeup and styling hair so they treated me as a mannequin and they did whatever they wanted to me. They plucked, bronzed, curled and primped me like some sort of barbie doll and by the time they'd finished with me they'd eaten through all of their two hours of my designated prep time and my party has been going on for half an hour because they've run over.
The boys went downstairs because they got bored of watching me "turn into a girl" as Archie politely put it. I'm pretty sure they went to find some sport to watch on TV and eventually got ushered outside by my dad to start making the rounds whilst I was two thirds of the way through getting my face makeup done. They love schmoozing with every pack member that turned up to see me on my eighteenth so I haven't seen or heard from Kieron or Archie for a good hour.
"You look stunning, Kode." Penny gushes, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and hugging me tightly. Opal grins from behind her sister before slapping my ass and pulling the skirt of my dress down. "If you were gay Opal would be ripping that dress right off you."
I snort and push them both away, letting my gaze fall on my appearance again.
My hair is curling in soft waves around my face, my eye makeup bold and smokey with gold glitter and winged eyeliner. They've forced me to wear fake lashes lashes but I have to admit they make me and the whole look, come together pretty damn well.
The dress. Oh god the dress is insane. It's the same dress that my mom wore to her ascension. The long, white Greek chiton that gave my dad goosebumps when he saw my mom wear it was the present I received from auntie Olivia and uncle Brett. They haven't told my dad what I'll be wearing so hopefully I can bring a bit of a smile to his face.
"I'll go get Kieron." I hear Poppy mutter to her sister and I hear them squeal as I growl and spin around. They've both run from the room which was definitely a safe bet before I could lunge out of my chair and wring their necks.
I breathe heavily out of my nose and wring my hands together to ease some of my nerves. I want my dad to be happy to see me, and I want him to feel like mom is here with me.
"What are you stressing about, little bear?" I hear Kieron's voice and my nerves immediately evaporate from my body. He has that effect on me. I see him in the mirror leaning against my doorframe and my chest flutters, my eyes stuck on his reflection. He walks towards me and links his fingers with mine, resting his chin on my shoulder. The heels I'm being forced to wear put me at a good height for him to use me as a chin stool. "Tonight is supposed to be fun."
"I know." I whine, letting my head fall back against his chest. "I'm just nervous about my official birthday. I'm going to meet my mate!" I lock eyes with him in the mirror and a sad smile slips onto my face. "What if it isn't who I want it to be?"
"Then you weren't meant to be." He says quietly, before perking up and spinning me in his arms. "But we have an hour and a half before we have to worry about that! So let's go mingle, have some fun, and enjoy ourselves until then!"
I grin and hug him tightly before linking fingers with him and dragging him downstairs towards the party.
"There's the birthday girl!" I hear auntie Olivia cheer as I walk from my house hand in hand with Kieron, and several eyes wheel around in my direction. I release my iron grip on Kieron's hand and wrap my arms around her waist, breathing in her familiar scent of morning rain and her signature flowery perfume. "Happy birthday baby. You look great in your mom's dress. She would be so damn proud of you."
"Thanks auntie O." I mumble into her chest as I blink back my tears before stepping out of her embrace. "Finally an adult, huh?"
"Not quite, kiddo." My uncle Brett smirks as he comes into view, wrapping one hand around Olivia's waist, the other securely holding their five year old daughter Vanessa on his hip. "You still can't drink."
"Legally." I stress jokingly.
We chat for a few more minutes before I continue making my rounds. Many people come over and wish me a happy birthday and I notice people putting presents on the table in the middle of the garden. My eyes nearly bugged out of my head when I saw Dane with his parents in the crowd, surprise the only emotion I could understand in the jumbled up mess in my head.
He looks good. He was never skinny like Kieron but now he's just pure muscle. His hair used to be long and falling in front of his eyes and curling down at his neck, but now it's cropped short at the back and sides and long and slicked out of his face. His skin is tanned and I can see a tattoo on his arm underneath his white dress shirt.
I barely recognise him.
I didn't get a chance to talk to him as I saw my dad in the crowd talking to Jasper. He nearly cried when he saw me wearing mom's dress, a long hug and several kisses on my head followed by telling me he loves me.
I know he tells me that he loves me because he never got to tell mom.
The time creeps away from me until I'm being dragged onto the decking by my dad and being presented to the pack.
"I've been waiting for this day for a long time." My dad grins as he addresses the pack. "My little girl is finally not so little. She's beautiful and strong and independent and I'm so glad she became the young woman she is today. I can only apologise and say sorry for not being there for her as much as a dad should be."
I smile tightly as I lean into my dad's side, trying my best not to cry and ruin my makeup that my friends slaved over. "It's fine dad you were there when I needed you."
"But I wasn't there when you didn't." He pushes before hugging me quickly and turning to face the crowd again. "It's less than thirty seconds before her official birthday, so how about we sing until time?"
I look out across the crowd and smile at all of the familiar faces. I see Jasper, Ayesha, Penny, Opal, Archie, Viola, Kieron.
"Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you."
I feel a warm buzz course through my body and I close my eyes, knowing that the time is winding down till I'm officially 18 and I find out who my mate is.
"Happy birthday dear Koda!
Happy birthday to you!"
I can smell him. It's a mixture of the earth and water. He smells clean and intoxicating and he's nearby. I grin and open my eyes, my gaze scouring the crowd until it lands on the boy that matches the incredible scent that's filled my nose.
Found him.
âââðºâââ
I couldn't remember if I gave Jasper a last name, so I gave him the last name Emery. If anyone can remember his actual last name that I used in the book then please let me know and I'll change it ð
NATALIA DYER AS GROWN UP KODA FOLKS!!!!
BUT!!!
SHE WILL ONLY CONTINUE TO PLAY THE ROLE OF OUR LITTLE BEAR IF YOU CHOOSE THIS BONUS CHAPTER AS THE OFFICIAL ENDING OF POSSESSIVE ALPHA KADEN
AND IF THIS LINE IN THE BOOK GETS 150 COMMENTS FROM 150 DIFFERENT READERS I PROMISE I WILL START TO WRITE A SEQUEL
YOU GUYS CAN EVEN PICK THE NAME!!!!
GET TO DECIDING FOLKS BECAUSE YOURE ON THE CLOCK!!
YOU HAVE TILL THE 1ST OF JUNE TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN OR THE SEQUEL WONT!!
Ooh I love an ultimatum.
This is the final bonus chapter I will be doing for this book, there will be no more. I have written with my heart and my mind and come up with two endings to a story that I wasn't originally going to finish. But here we are with a sequel in the horizon and a look into two endings that could and will be.
Also the 2019 fiction awards are coming up, and I would really really love it if you guys could nominate this book! I know it's cliche and the writing is mediocre at times, but it would mean the world to me if I got into the nominations. You guys are the best readers and supporters and I love you guys!
Love you all, and get to voting!!
For the final time of this PAK journey,
xoxo lauryn