Translator: Henyee Translations Editor: Henyee Translations
Lord Ma wanted to cry but had no tears to shed. As a toilet, he had conscientiously guarded Wang Lingâs ensuite lavatory for many years⦠Although he had seen the buttocks of all the men in the Wang family, he had never been this offended and deeply penetrated beforeâ¦
But this Miss Yu clearly didnât see a problem with any of this. She roamed Lord Maâs inner world merrily, grinning from ear to ear. Branches stretched out behind her to gulp down the nutrients under her feet, as if she was walking on a golden beach of gourmet foodâ¦
âMiss Yu⦠You really need to stopâ¦â Lord Ma couldnât take it anymore. His legs felt so weak he could barely stand! It was because this Miss Yuâs suction was really too strong!
He had been a toilet for so many years and had sucked countless things down his throat. Lord Ma didnât think anyone was his match when it came to suction⦠However, after meeting this Miss Yu today, Lord Ma realized he was still too greenâ¦
It could only be said that as expected of Miss Yu; as the tree spirit spawned by the Cosmic God Tree of the seventh universe, from the moment she was watered as a sapling, she had used her formidable power to suck up nutrients to grow to her current state â no wonder Miss Yu was the most developed Cosmic God Tree of the ten universes.
When the Cosmic God Trees of the other universes had just acquired Doranâs Blade, this Miss Yu of the seventh universe had already collected the six divineitems 1 â¦
The Cosmic God Tree ran in front while Lord Ma chased her. When Lord Ma was almost too weak to run any longer, Miss Yu finally stopped, and she gripped Lord Maâs hands firmly. âYouâre a toilet, Iâm a tree spirit â weâre a match made in heaven!â
Lord Ma was startled⦠These two things could actually share a connection?!
âI donât care. After I started to follow Gu Shunzhi, heâs never fed me full even once. Although the quality of the fertilizer in your space varies, at least thereâs enough of it!â Miss Yu complimented Lord Ma, but that didnât make him happy at all.
Speaking of Gu Shunzhi, Lord Ma was suddenly curious. âMay I ask, Miss Yu, why did you choose to follow this Mr Gu to begin withâ¦â
Miss Yu smiled a little bashfully. âIâve been pissed on by so many people, who directly treat me as a public toilet. When I discovered how exceptionally good Gu Shunzhiâs fertilizer was, I decided to follow him. But he only uses the toilet once a month, which really drives me crazy!â
Lord Ma: ââ¦â
Cultivators with high realms could control their own metabolism. Keepers of cosmic order like Gu Shunzhi were so busy that they often forgot to go to the toilet⦠Listening to Miss Yu speak, Lord Ma somehow felt like they were the words of a spoiled child.
Miss Yu: âThat, if you donât mind, how about we also sign a contract?â
Lord Ma was shocked. âYou and me? I⦠Iâm just an enlightened gremlinâ¦â
Miss Yu nibbled on her fingers. âIt doesnât matter to me what you are â I just know that you are a master who can feed me until Iâm full! Plus, your space will always be filled with waste, which will save me time foraging.â
Lord Ma took a deep breath. âMiss Yu, you mustnât⦠You have to cancel your contract first before signing with me, donât you?â
Miss Yu: âThen Iâll cancel the contract. Itâs not a big deal.â
Lord Ma sweated and quickly made up an excuse. âThat wonât do â if my master blames me, Iâll be beaten back into my original form, and Miss Yu may never find me again in this lifetimeâ¦â
Miss Yu sighed. âYour master is really strict! How about I go look for your master to make an exception? What does your master like? Iâll give him a gift!â
Lord Ma: âCrispy⦠crispy noodle snacksâ¦â
âThatâs easy!â
With that, Miss Yuâs eyes started to search the area under her feet.
Lord Ma: âWhat is Miss Yu looking for? There are no crispy noodle snacks in this excrementâ¦â
âSays who?â
Saying that, Miss Yu picked up a lump of shit. âLook, this was a crispy noodle snack. No one else can see it, but I can tell right away. This is all filth to you, but in my eyes, they look like what they were before becoming shit.â
Lord Ma paled with shock. ââ¦â What⦠what the hell kind of ability was this?!
Miss Yu then started to identify the other pieces of shit. âLook, that big lump was a spicy hot pot. And that fresh-looking one was a fruit salad! And, and, these are from Yangâs Braised Chicken Rice, Conqueror Macarons, a six-layered beef burger, steamed lamb, steamed bearâs paw, steamed reeds, roasted flower duck, roasted gosling, awesome pig, awesome duck, awesome chicken, dried pork, Songhua tripeâ¦â
Lord Ma: ââ¦â
â¦
Saturday, August 19th.
It was the sixth day after the official start of the summer break.
A very familiar patient had come to Immortal Toyaâs Chrysanthemum Island.
It was none other than Li Diaoâ¦
After being forcefully fed a crispy noodle snack, when Wang Ling had enchanted a bacterium inside in passing, Li Diao had had diarrhea non-stop and his body was about to collapse. His son, Li Hao, had already been kicked out of school, and Li Diao had been tipped off that the directors of the school board planned to have them deported to Lixiuâs vampire control center.
Thus, Li Diao had taken Li Hao and fled Songhai that very night, doing whatever they could to get to Chrysanthemum Island.
When Immortal Toya saw Li Diao, the latter was exceptionally haggard. He no longer looked like a teenager, but an emaciated zombie.
On the side, brawny Li Hao fell to his knees with a plop. âImmortal! Please! Save my father! Weâre desperate, and youâre our last hope!â
Immortal Toya initially didnât want to have anything to do with this; after all, this was the person blacklisted by Ling Zhenrenâ¦
But doctors were humane â seeing how much suffering the diarrhea caused Li Diao, Immortal Toya didnât have the heart to turn them away.
If he didnât do anything, it was possible that Li Diao might die from diarrheaâ¦
âYour father still has diarrhea?â Immortal Toya asked.
âHeâs wearing an anal plug now, but itâs very uncomfortable,â Li Hao replied â Li Diao already could no longer speak, and Li Hao had had to carry him on his back even before they reached the island.
âI may not be able to cure your father, but I should be able to ease some of his pain.â Immortal Toya stared at Li Diao with a profound expression and sighed.
Li Hao bowed his head. âIâm very sorry⦠about the school incidentâ¦â
Immortal Toya gazed at Li Hao. âIt seems that the two of you still donât understand. The reason you and your father ended up like this wasnât because of the school incident.â
After that, he wrote three letters in the air, then said, âBring your father inside, then go and gain enlightenment.â
Li Hao stared at the three letters foolishly.
G⦠C⦠M?
What did this meanâ¦