Sweet Addiction.
Chapter 9; My fault
I wake up after a nice comfortable sleepy time and yawn to get rid of the waking up tiredness.
I look around the familiar room which is not mine and i gasp. Last night and today's events come crushing down and i mentally slap myself.
What have i done?
So i basically humiliated myself in front of the whole school and ended up in Kyle's room.
Oh dear God.!
I sigh getting up from the bed and at the same time, Kyle walks in with a tray of food in his hands.
"How are you feeling?" He asks with a tiny winny hint of concern latched in his voice.
Awwww.....
I smile at him, "I'm good. Though i have a tiny bit of drowsiness in me but i'm all better. Thanks."
He takes a seat on his king size bed opposite me with the tray in his hands. He takes out a spoon and digs into the mac 'n' cheese ready to feed me.
He lifts the spoon in front of my mouth and i smile opening as he feeds me and i chew.
These small things he does for me bring him closer and closer to my heart.
"What time is it?" I ask him.
"7:00pm." I widen my eyes at him and start to freak.
Oh God.
Tomorrow is the day we go to the beach house and i'm not ready. I havent packed or told my friends. I did tell them but they might have thought I'm delusional.
"I packed your clothes for the trip and Valentino informed your friends." Kyle explains.
"What do you mean, you packed my clothes?" I ask wishing he didnt go through my underwear.
"Your friend, Elena packed them and i picked them from your house." He shrugs and i sigh, letting out a breath of relief and then,
"I also asked your dad for permission and he agreed." He explains further.
My heart cant take his cuteness anymore. It hurts from all this, but in a good way.
"Awww." I coo as i carry the tray and place it aside and jump unto him, wrapping my arms around his neck tightly.
His arms hold my thighs and lift me up so that i straddle him.
I hope we dont repeat yesterday's history.
"You are so cute." I coo into his ear. I pull away and lean in to kiss his cheek lingering there for about 4 seconds.
"Friends do that?" He asks referring to kissing his cheek and i nod.
"Do you do that to your guy friends?" He asks with a hint of jealousy in his voice and i roll my eyes.
"We aren't that close so no, i dont." I explain referring to Jonathan and Trevor.
"Well dont." He scowls and i roll my eyes getting off his lap but he grips onto my thighs making me stay in my position.
"What now?"
"I want to feed you from right here." He says leaning over to bring the tray next to us. He digs into the food and i open my mouth as he feeds me.
He grabs the glass of juice from the tray and lifts it up to my mouth for me to take a sip. I smile at him as my heart clenches in awe.
His thumb goes up to the corner of my mouth and rubs off the orange juice staring intently at my eyes and then his eyes go to my lips. Butterflies erupt in my stomach.
His thumb then touches my bottom lip running across it softly yet gently. My skin starts to cover up with goosebumps and my heart, hammering wildly against my chest.
Each passing second i am close to him makes me want to pull him by his shirt and kiss the living daylights out of him. I have never had this urge to kiss someone until he came into my life and started being all sweet to me.
His hands leave my skin and go back down to grab food from the tray and a groan of disappointment almost leaves my throat.
Arghhhhhh!! Now he's such a cockblocker!
Shut up, Marla!
As Bebe Rexha once said, If it's meant to be, it will be, it will be. Baby, just let it be.
He feeds me again and i lift reach down to grab another spoon. I dig into the mac 'n' cheese and lift the spoon to feed him. I feed him twice and then grab the glass of juice for him to drink. A slight stain from the food goes on the corner of his lips and another under his bottom lip.
Ha!
I reach forward and start to rub off the stain painfully slow as i continue to stare at his delicious pink lips. I look up to meet his eyes which are staring intently at my lips.
Oh Dear God, its getting so hot in here.
I need a fan.
I continue to rub off the stain, my eyes on his lips. I smile once the stain is off and feed him another spoon of this very delicious mac 'n' cheese.
The next minutes are spent with us feeding each other and me trying to survive the infuriating sexual tension. I finish eating and Kyle refuses me to get off his lap so i just stay on his lap and lay my head on his shoulder wrapping my arms around his neck and sniffing his neck.
Mmmm......yummy.
I'm not sure friends do this but why does it feel right with Kyle? When i think of being in this situation with another guy, i'll think of puking and it would be so weird and uncomfortable.
With Kyle, it feels so right, comfortable and good.
"What happened to him?" Kyle asks softly next to me. I know who he is referring to.
I sigh and pull away from the straddling position to sit on his lap comfortably.
"My brother and my best friend died last year in a car accident because of me." I explain as tears threaten to escape my eyes recalling that night.
"It's all your fault."
Mam's voice booms through my head and a sob escapes my mouth as i cry snuggling into Kyle's chest who pulls me closer to his body rubbing my back comfortingly.
After my crying goes down, i continue. "I was at a party and my brother and best friend were at home with my parents for a dinner."
I sigh, "I got bored and called them to come pick me up. I was also drunk. I needed my brother and my best friend with me. My parents didnt want them to leave just yet but they both insisted to come and help me. They crashed and both died." I explain as my tears come back.
Why am i still crying and grieving? Its been a year.
"You blame yourself, don't you?" Kyle's soft deep voice says and i whimper looking up at his gorgeous eyes.
"I was selfish. I didnt think. Its all my fault i called them to come pick me." I say wiping away the tears that keep coming. His hand reaches up to cup my cheek and he slowly wipes away the tears.
"Its not your fucking fault, Nessa. You are still grieving because you think its your fault and your mother fucking blames you." He says and more tears spill because of the truth.
Of course, he is freaking right!
He wipes them away and looks at me, "Stop blaming yourself." He says softly.
"You didnt know that was going to happen." He says and i shake my head,
"But i would have stopped -"
"Dont." He says rubbing my cheeks gently. "No one knows what's going to happen tomorrow or the days after. You didnt know and it was a normal day for you." Kyle explains and my heart sores.
Why does he have to be right?
"But he left me." I cry falling into his chest.
"Do you think he would be happy watching you blame yourself?" He asks.
No.
I shake my head against his chest. He continues to rub my back softly.
Kyle is right. I didnt know all that was going to happen that day, i had no control over it and even now, i cant bring him back. Mam continues to blame me and i continue to agree with her because we are both grieving.
I get up from his chest and wrap my arms around his neck hugging him and moving in my position to straddle him.
"Thank you." I murmur into his neck.
"Its not okay to blame yourself, Nessa." He says and i sigh.
Its nice talking to someone about what happened and hearing those words but deep down at the bottom of my heart somewhere, there is still this guilt that eats me up.
"I know."
"Dont let your mam's words get to you." Kyle says then, "And dont let her fucking hit you again." He says the last part in anger with clenched fists.
I sigh and hug him closer to me planting a soft kiss on his neck. He inhales a sharp breath and his fingers go to my thigh digging through.
"Thank you, honeybun."
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I wake up happy and comfortable with an addictive scent invading my nostrils.
I wish to always wake up to this.
I am snuggled into Kyle's naked chest and his arms are around my waist holding me tight against his chest.
I never want to leave.
I take my time admiring his chest. His chest os covered with tattoos, all dark, scary and dead. There is a large eagle on his abs with a tree on his six pacs, a dead tree with no leaves and it looks like its dying. There are other dead birds that fall down to the tree coming from the eagles's mouth.
It looks so dead yet so real and i know it has a deeper meaning to it. I reach forward and run my fingers along his tattoos, well my plan is to feel his muscles.
He has other tattoos of different ancient looking sculptures that run down his arms up to his neck.
He has another tattoo in another language, "non vivo nell'oscurità . l'oscurità vive con me." I dont understand the meaning but i do know its in Italian,
He stirs in his sleep and his eyes flutter open. I smile up at him and greet him,
"Good morning honeybun."
He groans, scowling at me and i laugh. Its cute how he hates being called honeybun. Maybe i should call him cupcake.
"Did you sleep well?" He asks in a deep, morning husky voice and chills run down my spine.
Hawt!
"Mhmmm." I grin, still looking up at him. "You?"
"I did." He says and i smile but he doesnt. I reach up with both my hands and tilt the corners of his mouth upwards to form a smile but of course its not real. A smile has to come willingly and this guy refuses to do it. Ill do anything in my power to make him smile.
He scowls holding my hands away from his face. His hands reach down to my waist and he lifts me up onto his lap as he sits up straight with me straddling him.
I lean forward and wrap my arms around his neck looking up to meet his beautiful eyes and gorgeous face with my eyes landing on his lips. God, how i want to kiss him so bad!
Friends, my ass!
Shut up, Marla.
"So...where are we going?" I ask, my fingers playing with the back of his hair.
"My beach house." He says, still with that husky voice, his hands slipping under my shirt and rubbing softly.
Oh God.
I love it when he touches me.
His hands are so rough yet soft, and also gentle. His touch makes my heart beat fast and my insides jelly. I crave for it.
"Are there any beaches in Memphis?" I ask because before we came here, i searched if there were any and there were 0. The closest beach to Memphis is miles away.
"It's a lakehouse but i turned the surrounding into a beach." He explains and i nod in understanding
"I love your morning husky voice." I say without thinking and he smirks.
"I love how your skin feels." He says and my cheeks turn a bright shade of red.
"You hungry?" He asks still with that sexy smirk on. I nod burying myself in his neck.
He gets up from the bed, with me still in his arms and i wrap my legs around his torso tightly. His hands go to my thighs supporting me up.
He walks downstairs and i hear abuela singing from the kitchen.
Oh no no no no!
"Kyle, put me down." I whisper hitting hos back with one hand but he just smirks and holds me tight.
Oh God.
"Good morning abuela." Kyle says and i bury my face into his neck.
"Good morning Kyle." Abuela says. "Oohh and Vanessa." I hear her say in a mischievous tone.
"Ill give you two some time. Breakfast has been served." Jane says and before she exits the room, she turns and winks at me,
"Oh and take your time." She laughs at my red face and closes the door. I groan into Kyle's chest and he smirks shaking his head. I hit his chest with a scowl.
Kyle settles me onto the kitchen counter and brings the food sitting it next to me.
He digs in feeding me some toast as i do the same. Im starting to love this. Us feeding each other. Its too cute, adorable and comfortable.
"Your granny thinks we are together." I tell Kyle as i feed him a piece of pancake. He eats it and smirks,
"I told you."
"What would she do if she found out we actually aren't?" I ask.
"She will just keep the imagination and then she will pray for us to start dating." He explains.
"Oh wow."
"We are late. How are we gonna travel?" I ask feeding him a glass of juice. He drinks and takes it away from my hand also feeding me.
"You are travelling with me. We shall meet the others at the place." He explains and i coo
"You really love spending time with me, dont you?" I wrap my arms around his neck.
"Yes." He says and i kiss his neck pulling him closer to me.
He is sooo cutee.
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Love yall.