And his full warm lips were on mine. I felt like I was on cloud nine. I had never been kissed before because boys weren't my priority. He was the first man I wanted to kiss and now that it was finally happening I had lost it and didn't know what to do.
It felt so soft but intense and even though I knew it was wrong it felt so right.
He cupped my face and his lips moved against mine softly but so passionately. I was hesitant because I was new at this and he actually was a heck of a kisser so I didn't want to embarrass myself.
"Alex-stop" I said in between kisses and pushed him back slightly.
"Please just a little more" He whispered still giving me kisses. I actually didn't want him to stop and hearing some small moans and groans that escaped him he didn't want to either.
His lips were starting to me faster against mine and I tried to keep up with his pace letting out a few moans in the process.
Oh my God, I just moaned I'm an idiot.
I was blushing like crazy by now I was so embarrassed. I tried to push him away but he wouldn't budge.
"Stop" I said and moved my head to the side.
"Baby what's wrong?"
Is he for real?
"What we're doing is wrong"
"No no no, don't say that please" He pleaded taking my hand in his and searching my face.
"I ask for distance and a minute later you kiss me"
"Baby, I'm sorry but I couldn't help myself I told you I can't distance myself from you"
"You said you would try"
"And look, it didn't work"
"Are you kidding me?!" I yelled.
"Sooner or later it was going to happen, why waste any more time?"
"It cannot happen Alex" He was really driving me crazy. "We don't even know each other, scratch that we don't trust each other"
"Fine" He let out a dark chuckle "Say whatever you want. I'm not giving up on the one thing that makes me happy. You can avoid me all you want but I won't be a coward and hide my feelings" He said and opened the door before walking out and slamming it shut.
What was that all about.
-------
The next day I did everything I could to avoid him. I studied more than usual, I went out for a walk and I worked extra hours.
"Aria! So glad to see you again"
I was startled since I hadn't seen any customer walk to the stand. When I turned around I saw Jason.
"Oh hello" I smiled politely. I just hope Alex won't show up.
"So how's it going? You look a little out of it"
"It's nothing" I shook my head "Want to order anything?"
"Some tea please"
Of course.
I nodded and got to work.
"So is Alexander annoying you yet or what?" He asked.
"Are you two friends?" I turned around to look at him.
"You could say that yes. I've known him since we were both in diapers" He chuckled.
Wow I've never thought about how baby Alex would look like. I bet he was a beautiful baby.
"He was so annoying I swear" he sighed.
"Really?" I laughed. I wanted to get a few embarrassing stories out of him.
"Yes he would take my paci and give it to the dogs" He laughed. "He wasn't just annoying he was evil too"
"I guess he hasn't changed since then" I muttered and put his tea in front of him.
"Not at all" He laughed and then sipped on his drink. "He's still a really good guy though and he's my best friend so I have to accept any flaw he has"
"Wow you guys seem really close"
"We've been through a lot together. We were there for each other when no one else was" he looked down with a sad smile. "But anyway we're like brothers now" His mood drastically changed as he smiled happily once again.
"I understand. My best friend is like a sister to me too"
"I'm moved"
Speak of the devil.
"Sarah!" I exclaimed and run to hug her.
"Girl, you're choking me" She choked out making me let her go. I saw Jason looking at us so I thought I should introduce him to Sarah.
"So Sarah this is Jason, Alexander's best friend" I pointed to jason "And jason this is Sarah my best friend I was just talking to you about".They shook hands smiling.
"Nice to meet you Sarah"
"Nice to meet you too Jason"
"So Sarah what are you doing here? Want to order something?" I asked her.
"Oh no I was just going to catch up with my brother, Aria he's back" She said genuinely happy. "I was passing by and wanted to say hi"
I was happy for her but one thought lingered in my mind. If Sarah's brother is back, is he back too?
"I'm happy for you Sarah, say hi to your brother from me and tell him we should all hang out someday" I told her as she walked away.
"Will do!" She giggled and walked out of the cafe.
"Wow your friend seems really fun to be around" Jason muttered.
"She is"
"Well I should go back home now, Alex must be there waiting for me and he'll start whining if I'm too late" he chuckled.
"Okay, well have a nice day!"
--------
"So Aria when are you planning on visiting?" Uncle Rob asked.
Alexander wasn't back yet so I was sitting on the couch with the TV on and talking to my uncle on the phone.
"I don't know I'm really busy with work and college, but I guess I could come for a day"
"Aria your brother called" he said making me alert. "He was asking for you"
No no no no this can't be happening, why's my nightmare coming to life?
"Why? What does he want?" I raised my voice a little feeling panic rise in me.
"Aria you can't hide forever"
"Yes, yes I can" I said desperately.
"You need to meet your brother"
"No!" I yelled feeling hot tears running down my face "I can't-" my phone slipped out of my hand as I started hyperventilating.
I was breathing so hard and was so lost in my thoughts and panic that I didn't even notice the door opening until I felt arms around me and someone desperately yelling my name.
No, why does he have to see me like this?
"Please please please talk to me" I heard his voice crack as he begged. But as much as I wanted to look at him and tell him I'm fine I couldn't. I just sobbed harder and cried out.
I saw him take my phone and I realized I hadn't ended the call with uncle Rob and he would be worried sick by now.
I just hurt everyone around me.
"I'm Aria's roommate, she's safe with me now sir, I'll tell her to call you when she's feeling better" I heard him say and then he turned all his attention on me. "Baby don't cry please" He cooed and wrapped me in his big arms. "It breaks my heart when you cry" he whispered in my ear and sighed.
I hid my face in his neck still sobbing and wrapped my arms around his neck as we sat there on the floor. He pulled away and sat on the couch making me sob harder but he quickly pulled me up and made me sit on his lap holding me tight again.
"Baby you're okay now, yes? I'm here now" He cooed and cupped my face looking straight into my eyes. "Your knight is here to protect you princess" he chuckled making me let out a giggle. I heard him murmur something but I couldn't make out what it was.
His face became serious again as he leaned in. I saw him close his eyes slowly as he pressed his lips against my cheek which was wet from tears and now probably red from blushing.
"Let's go to bed okay?" He cooed and picked me up bridal style heading into his room.
Wait his room?
"Alex that's your room" I murmured but he stayed silent.
It was the first time I had seen his room. It was really dark, his walls were grey and all the furniture was a dark wood.
He walked to his queen sized bed and laid me down onto the dark blue silky sheets and then got under the covers too. One thing I noticed that really calmed me down instantly was that the sheets were covered in his scent. It was like he was all around me.
And he technically was since he had wrapped around me like a monkey. His embrace was as welcoming and warm as ever though and it helped me relax.
"Are you feeling better?" I heard him whisper in the dark after a few minutes.
"A lot better. Thank you Alex, thank you for always being there for me and I'm sorry you had to see me like this"
"Princess, it's true it broke my heart-" He started. "-but I'm glad I'm the shoulder you cry on. I'm glad I'm the only one who gets to see you so vulnerable, I'm glad I get to take care of you and mostly I'm glad you're not afraid to show me you're sad" He finished giving me a kiss on the cheek as he spooned me.
"Alex?" He hummed "Are you ever sad?" I asked making him stiffen for a few seconds.
Wow Aria, why do you open your big mouth? Why not use it for something more useful-
"I get really sad when you try to stay away from me" He finally said hesitantly. "I get sad when I think about how I can't tell you everything I want to and that you could get hurt because of me" His breath had started to become uneven.
Is he holding back tears?
"I get sad and angry at all the kinds of things I can't tell you or anyone else about Aria" He choked out. I turned around in his arms and wrapped my arms around his neck as he kept his head under my chin and his hand around my waist.
"Hey it's okay" I said. "I understand. There are many things I can never talk about either. Everyone has something they can't talk about"
"But if you knew what it is-" I shushed him.
"But I don't and right now I'm here so why don't we just live in the moment right now and figure it all out later?" I brushed through his thick hair trying to relax him.
Never had me for that type of person that lives in the moment.
"Yes" He said faintly and tightened his hold on me.