Chapter 112
Arwen awoke alone. Her breath hitched as she felt the coolness of the sheets her arm stretched across. The drapes had been pulled back, bathing the room in sunlight, yet it was high, signalling that she had already slept through hours of it. She pushed to her knees, the blanket falling off her shoulders, an ache growing in her tightening throat.
The pillow on the other side of the bed still had the concave from someone else's weight. And if she listened carefully, she could hear someone in another room of her family cabin. Slipping her feet onto the cool wooden floor, Arwen didn't bother changing before venturing into the rest of the small estate.
With an arm around her stomach, the other perched on it, fingers pinching at her lip, she followed the sounds to the large kitchen. She could almost smile at the sight.
Rhys, dressed in loose pants and shirt, bobbed his head, humming a tune with no sense of pitch or tone. He moved his hips in time with it as he cut fruit up on a chopping board. He looked across to her, growing a smile and signing louder. She scarcely remembered what it belonged to. "What?" he demanded at her questioning look. "You should dance too. It's good for the soul."
Arwen shook her head, her smile growing. She resisted reminding him that she no longer had one.
He stabbed a piece of apple with the tip of the large knife and bit it off, humming in delight. She made her way over, eyeing what he had put together for breakfast. There was the fruit, still sitting in its juice on the board as well as a plate of bacon and one of eggs. She picked up a grape and plopped it into her mouth.
"How'd you sleep?"
Arwen shrugged. It was their second day at the cabin. Yesterday she had been a mess, unable to collect herself enough to do the simple things like put together a meal. She put another grape in her mouth.
Rhysand turned to rest the small of his back against the bench. Like she was a dog, he gave a hard stroke to her hair, brushing it roughly away from her face before drawing her closer. "You didn't get much good sleep last night. I thought maybe we could go on a hike today. Have a picnic up the stream a little."
Arwen lifted her head with a scowl. Wandering through the foliage was the least of her desires.
He caught the look. "We can fly down then. But I think being outside will be nice. Soak our feet in the stream."
Settling her head back down, she reached for a piece of bacon before it went cold.
'Will you speak to me like this?'
Chewing slowly, Arwen resigned and answered. 'Yes. It is easier.'
By midday, they were down at the stream, settled on a little glade of soft rolling grass. The stream curved, bent as though reaching for them, the trickling water breaking silver over smooth river rocks. Arwen lay on her back, arms stretched overhead. Rhys lay beside her on his stomach, propped by his elbows.
Her fingers threaded through the blades of grass like they were small, tickling hairs. Plucking one of the longest, she twirled it in front of her face for a while before turning onto her side. The green blade lightly brushed the space of Rhysand's neck just under his ear. Her brother twitched, using his shoulder to itch the spot. Arwen smiled and did it again. Rhysand swatted but she didn't relent.
His own fist tightened around a tuft of grass, pulling them from the roots. Arwen spluttered as she got a mouthful of it. Rolling onto her stomach, she spat it out in time with his bellowing laughter. Before she could concoct her revenge, Rhysand was already on his knees, a hand extended to her. She took it and let him pull her to her feet.
"Do you remember when we used to come out here when you were young?" he asked, guiding them towards the edge of the stream. Arwen nodded at the distant memories. They reached the water and she followed suit as he rolled up the ends of his pants to his knees. "There's an orange tree on the other side that you'd always insist on eating from. Wouldn't let me use magic though, would you. That'd take the adventure out of it."
The water sploshed around their legs as they crossed, the current stronger than usual and reaching her knees, wetting the ends of her midnight blue pants. Climbing out the other side, she wrinkled her nose as flecks of dirt stuck between her toes. She'd been spoilt with the city.
They found the tree after a bit of hunting. It was wilder and larger than she remembered, most likely not even the same one but an offspring...If that is what you called the plant of another. Bright, round oranges hung from it, ripe for the picking like ornaments. Arwen tilted her head back, wandering underneath the shading branches. Finding one, she pointed up and looked back to Rhys. Still under the sunlight, he squinted and followed her guiding point.
"Are you going to climb up?"
'The branches are too thin there,' she answered through the still-open link between their minds. 'Hoist me.'
"Demanding, demanding," he tutted, stalking closer. Huffing out a smile and another examination of his position, her brother stood underneath it. Interlacing his fingers, he crouched and motioned a ready nod.
Arwen grasped his shoulders and placed her bare, dirtied food in his hands. He lifted her up and the orange became closer. She grappled at the branches, moving them out of the way. They flicked her back in retaliation but she managed to stretch her arm through and pluck the perfect fruit as her prize.
There was another just to the left that she wanted too. So he could have one. Using her hand, she hauled her body across, Rhysand taking the hint and shifting underneath her. Resting the side of her occupied hand on another branch, she pulled. This one was more stubborn, the branch flexing as she pulled.
"What are you waiting for?" he called from below. "It'll be rotten by the time we're eating it." She pushed her knee into his face and yanked harder on the orange.
He began blabbering something, probably in a complaint, but Arwen did not hear it. Something on her hand distracted her. It felt light and ticklish, like the grass blades. But unlike the grass blades, this thing moved.
Arwen screamed and threw herself away. Both oranges dropped from her hands as she shook her arm wildly, trying to throw the bush spider off. Rhysand stumbled underneath her, her weight tipping further than he could hold. The branches snagged at her skin, hair, and clothes as she fell backwards. Rhys still had a grip on the backs of her legs and he leaned back to counter her falling weight.
She felt her hair catch on the grass, the world upside down until it disappeared with her brother's falling body. He had saved her head, but not her legs which he fell on top of.
They both groaned. Rhysand rolled off her legs, moaning and gripping his stomach where her bone had met his soft flesh. He had a red gash stained with dirt on his cheek from where he had hit the earth. Immediately she checked her arms, but there was no sign of the eight-legged creature. Climbing to her knees, she crawled to his side and place a hand on his chest.
"All good," he croaked out, opening his eyes wide. Arwen gave a breathless laugh and slumped off her haunches. Rhysand rubbed at his sternum. "You have a bony heel."
She found the two oranges sitting not far away, both unhurt. They walked back to the stream, tossing the peelings as they went and by the time they reached the water, Arwen was biting into the citrus fruit.
"They're worried about you."
Arwen spat a seed into the water, wondering whether it would float away and settle in soil elsewhere, starting a new life. She didn't need the definition of who 'they' belonged to.
"Cassian told me what happened. They don't know we're here. Feyre told them we went to visit Helion who mentioned being interested in seeing the aftereffects of his spell."
She picked at the white bits that she hated getting between her teeth, her knee bouncing incessantly. "I feel..." Her throat bobbed despite not speaking the words aloud. "When I told them to leave, it felt like I was telling them to leave forever. But as soon as they were gone, I wanted them back but I couldn't just... . I felt alone. I was only doing what you told me to, Rhys."
"I know," he assured softly. "And they know that. Trust me, the heat of the blame is all on me now. I'm not here to keep you company, I'm escaping them as well." Arwen smiled and knocked his shoulder with hers. "Cassian said he scared you."
She nodded, almost reluctantly. "He did," she admitted.
"He feels terrible for it.
"I've never seen him so angry before. Not at one of us and certainly not at me. I didn't expect it. Maybe I deserved it though." Stretching out her legs, letting them slip further into the water, she said, "I want to spend a few days out here alone."
"Alone?" he echoed carefully. "Are you sure that's the best idea? I don't mind staying out here with you until you're ready if that's what you're worried about."
Arwen shrugged. "It doesn't feel lonely out here." But looking at her brother next to her on the grass, she doubted her own prediction, imagining the spot empty.
"You couldn't even make yourself lunch yesterday and you won't speak aloud. Forgive me if I'm not sure leaving you alone is for the best."
She picked at the grass, tossing the last piece of her peel away. "I don't want to go home yet. Don't want to see their faces." In shame or fear or anger; they all blurred together.
~
Rhysand stayed another night and to prove that she would be fine alone, made him breakfast before he could even awaken. Feyre came down to visit that evening and they shared a small family meal and played cards. He returned with Feyre that night.
Set on keeping herself occupied, Arwen fitted a straw hat over her head and long boots to her knees the next day. She hiked for many hours (realising she didn't mind it as much as she thought) before getting lost and winnowing home at the fall of night. The day after she did the same, going not as far, but back to the orange tree to collect some to attempt to bake a citrus cake of sorts. With a weaved basket weighing in the crook of her elbow, she made it to the treeline that broke apart to reveal the cabin.
Someone opened the main door, stepping out from within. Arwen paused, still sheltered by the looming trunks and shading leaves. It was Azriel. He was dressed in his full set of leathers, missing only the pieces that were worn in true battle. He stood in front of the door, looking around but did not see her.
It was the weekend. She had told him that this is when they would accept the mating bond and now he was looking for her. Fear kept her in place.
He had agreed with Cassian, and had left her without argument. And though she knew she was the one to ask for it, that putting the blame on him was stupid, she couldn't help it. She had shared her fear of being alone with him, and she had to watch his back as he walked away, leaving her in that very state.
Had he come to deny the bond? Come to tell her that he no longer wished her as a mate?
In the midst of her silent debate, Azriel's wing spread wide and he took flight high into the clear sky, reaching for whatever lay beyond. She stepped from the tree line to watch him go, feeling sick.