Chapter 38
Arwen rounded her neck as they strode towards the training rings. The night's sleep hadn't rubbed off the strange feeling that had sent her dizzy. She hadn't spoken of it, knowing that what she was walking towards had been months in the planning.
Her boots crunched the thin blanket of snow covering the land and her breath made clouds in the crisp air. Her leathers were warm though, insulating every ounce of warmth that her body made. It was Azriel today, who took up the spot on her right. They walked shoulder to shoulder, his shadows like a cloud around him.
"High Lord." A muscular Illyrian clad in his own leathers stalked up to the thin fence that marked the perimeter of the training fields. Brown hair hung to his shoulders and his grey eyes examined them, falling on her. "Females aren't allowed any closer to the training fields."
They stopped a step short of the fence. Rhysand cocked his head. "What's the point of being a High Lord if people are telling me what to do? Move aside, Ferir."
Ferir did not step away, moving his eyes again along the line of Rhysand's court. Arwen kept her ground, chin lifted and as stiff as the mountains along the horizon. Cassian gave a growl of warning, his wings shifting. "Your High Lord has given you a command."
"It's not my law," Ferir growled back. "No females have ever been allowed past this fence-line. Surely the High Lord can respect our ways."
"Well than imagine she has a dick between her legs, and you might manage to keep yours to yourself," Cassian crooned, much to Arwen's shock. She managed to keep her face even but even Rhysand on her left made a fleeting look to his general of wonder. Cassian took the two steps forward to meet the fence and Ferir who carefully eyed the glowing siphons. "Move."
Ferir it seemed, wasn't one to battle that challenge. "I'm only the messenger," he said, looking past Cassian's wide shoulders to Rhysand. "They won't take kindly to her being let in, not even by you."
"Then you can pass along another message." Rhysand strode forward, moving around Cassian's frame until only the measly fence stood between him and the Illyrian. "My sister is under my protection. She'll be in the training fields as long as she cares to be and if there is any hint of threat to her, my spymaster and your General Commander have my full permission to tear off the limbs of those who pose that threat." Ferir swallowed, but in his credit did not cower. "Do you understand my message, or shall I repeat it?"
"Nobody will train with her," he said.
"She's not here to train with them." Cassian grinned. "She's here to train with me."
Ferir only tipped his head away, resigning from the battle. A wiser Illyrian than many others who would have contended even the High Lord and general far longer. Arwen and Azriel moved forward as they climbed over the fence. "Pleasure to meet you," she said to Ferir, adding to the taunt.
They almost passed out of earshot when she heard the whisper. "Nobody would fuck that anyway." Before Arwen could turn back around, the Illyrian started to choke on something. By the time she did, Ferir was clutching at his throat and had fallen a shade paler.
"You'll regain your voice when I'm no longer around to hear it," said Rhysand, not even glancing over his shoulder. "You best find a way to still deliver my message. I understand you need your limbs to continue fighting." And nothing was more shameful than an Illyrian who could not perform.
Ferir, still grappling at his throat, scampered to a far part of the fields.
Arwen observed the space around her. Males trained with every weapon known to their kind, the metallic clashing of blades sounding from every direction. There was no withholding in these placesâyou either fought hard enough, or you didn't fight at all. They reached an empty ring. Illyrians eyed them from all distances, some even stopping their training to lean to their companions and mutter under their breaths.
Arwen's breathing rose, her world turning strangely light.
"We'll stay here," Rhysand said, nodding to Azriel who dutifully stood his ground, folding his arms.
Cassian moved into the space at her right, a hand on her shoulder keeping her moving forward into the large ring. "Remember what I told you?" he whispered into her ear. Arwen nodded, but he told her again anyway. "I can't hold back here and neither can you. They'll see it as a weakness in both of us. It's going to hurt when I hit you and I expect you to hurt me."
"I know."
The hand slid from her shoulder and Arwen knew that she would not see her friend again for some hours. She would see a war general. Straightening her shoulders, Arwen moved into position to begin a hand-to-hand fight and he followed a moment later. Blocking out everythingâher brother and mate watching, the other Illyriansânothing existed but her and Cassian.
The first blow caught her off guard. She dodged it, but barely. Cassian had always let her take the first strike so by habit she hadn't been expecting him to throw it. But it didn't exactly what he was intending with it, throwing everything she thought to expect out the window. They moved into a silent fight. No laughter, no teasing or hidden smiles between fists. Just raw, Illyrian fighting.
Arwen managed a few blows to him, twice on his legs, once on the side of his face with her elbow. But he struck her twice more than she ever did him. A bruise was no doubt flowering on the left side of her jaw and her right hip bone ache from where the heel of his thick boot kicked.
She cried out.
Her face slammed into the earth, the snow making the sting even worse. Her nose collided first, the pain throbbing right through into her skull. Gasping, she pushed onto her hands and knees. Arwen blinked away the blur in her sight, ignoring the red-stained snow and how the wetness slicked down her face. From her peripheral, Rhysand and Azriel still stood watching. Rhysand tilted his head, his face set firm but she still heard the words.
Get up.
Arwen swallowed the blood that dribbled into her throat and heaved to her feet. Despite the throbbing throughout her entire body, she managed to keep fighting and even send Cassian off his feet once. But the strange feeling enveloped her and the world in front of her didn't feel real. In her distraction, she didn't see his fist flying towards her headâsomething she should have easily been able to move away fromâand she crumpled to the ground.
The fall winded her but it wasn't the pain that kept her down. With her hand limp in front of her face, through thick strands of black, she saw the ring on her middle finger. The one Amren gave her that smothers her power.
"Arwen?" The snow in front of her turned dark before disappearing completely in favour of leathers. Something roughly brushed the fallen strands of her hair out of her face. "Sweetheart, you still with me? Arwen?"
Arwen stared at the toe of Cassian's boots as her body attempted to tear itself from the corporal realm only to be leashed down by the power of the ring. She hadn't been training with Amren for weeksâhadn't used her power in longer.
"Arwen, sweetheart, you need to give me something," Cassian called, his hand running up and down the length of her back. She could only blink as her world kept fading, as it kept reaching for the gate between realms.
Then, "I'm okay." She coughed out the words. "I'm okay."
Cassian hissed a curse under his breath. "Fuck you," he muttered. "That scared the shit out of me." He helped her to sit up, waving towards Rhysand and Azriel who stood with their attention pinned on the pair. "What happened?"
"You punched me in the side of the head," she groused, only to earn a sharp look. He knew that she could have moved out of the way in time too. In answer, Arwen held up her hand, twisting the band of the ring around with her thumb. "It's happening again."
"You do have a flair for perfect timing."
Assisting her to her feet, they hobbled back over the edge of the ring. "What happened?" demanded Rhysand, his tone sharp and biting. He wasn't able to move to her side when she fell, and neither could Azriel who now silently examined her. It would have been a sign of dotingâaffection that they couldn't show. Even now with her arm strapped over Cassian's back, she was being offered more care than those unconscious bodies which were dragged off the field by their feet until they could rejoin. Cassian answered on her behalf.
"You can't make her continue," said Azriel. "Not like this."
Rhysand sent him a sidelong look. "I wasn't going to. We canâfuck." The curse was directed over their shoulders. Arwen and Cassian looked back. Delvon stalked across the field, nothing of kindness in his step. "I'll deal with him." He passed her with a subtle squeeze to her wrist before going off to meet the lord of Windhaven.
"How do you feel?" Azriel asked after a few moments of silence between them. He moved to stand in front of her, his head bowed to see her face. Arwen only sighed and shook her head. "Should you take the ring off? Is it going to get worse?"
"Not here," Cassian said. "Not in this damned place."
They continued bickering under their breaths. Not about anything serious, but as a way to burn off whatever frustrations had been building since they arrived. Arwen slowly regained her sense of mind, taking her arm back to stand on her own. The sensation would come again in time, but hopefully after she had left this miserable camp.
Her attention turned to a weapon's rack. Among the swords and spears was a battle-axe in all its gleaming glory. The pristine weapon had to be newly crafted, with the black leather wrapping unscathed and the blade itself impeccably polished. Arwen couldn't help but admire it and began to walk away from Azriel and Cassian to get a closer look. Rhysand still spoke with Delvon in the distance, the latter with steam from his ears. The lord probably just found out their true intentions for the visit.
Arwen stood before the rack, now able to examine the blade's sharpness by eye. No one in the court used such a weapon so perhaps it was its unfamiliarity that made it so intriguing. Her hand rose from her side and she reached out to touch itâ
A hand snatched her wrist, squeezing so tightly that she couldn't help the whimper of pain. An Illyrian male she didn't recognise stood next to her, a fire of fury in his eyes. "That is not for female scum to touch."
Arwen couldn't quite remember how to breathe. The face in front of her blended into a blur of colours. But she could smellâshe could smell the cold earth and the pine trees. The same smell that had been filling her nose before it changed to her mother's blood. And she could feelâfeel the viper grip that kept her from reaching out, the grip that held her to the earth before the knife went to her back.
She choked on a scream, her feet losing grip on the ground as she scrambled to move away from him. His grip tightened, then a black blur of leathers stormed past her and the hand was torn from her. Arwen fell on her backside as a second figure swept past her, the azure glow distinct.
Cassian hauled the Illyrian off his feet, dragging him away from her, Azriel tailing a step behind. Arwen barely held her yelp as Rhysand winnowed beside her at a crouch. She watched as Cassian twisted the male onto his knees, his arms pulled so tightly back that they threatened to break with any more pressure. Arwen panted and couldn't look away, wondering if Rhysand had truly given them the order to tear off the male's limbs. The male thrashed but couldn't move without bringing his own pain.
Azriel strode to the male's front. There was nothing on his faceâno anger, no wrath. Just a calmness that Arwen found far more alarming than Cassian's snarl. Azriel placed one scarred hand on the male's head, threading and twisting his fingers through the ragged black strands. Then he placed his other to cup the male's jaw.
Arwen felt him. She felt her mate's heart thudding in her chest like an echo of her own. Each thump was slow and hard, as steady as each step he had taken.
In one twist, a sickening crunch filled her ears and the male fell silent. Limp.
Cassian stared at Azriel, still holding the male's arms. Arwen stared at the hanging body, then at Rhysand but he too only watched the scene in front of him. The entire field of Illyrians seemed to be watching.
Rhysand stood but he kept his leg pressed against her side where she could lean onto it. Nobody could be led to believe that was anything less than his order. Azriel remained as calm as the clouds above them, turning away from the body and strode towards Rhysand. But before Rhysand could say anything, Azriel spread his wings and took flight, becoming nothing more than a dark dot in the sky.
Cassian finally dropped the body which fell limply into the shallow snow. He set his glare on anybody that dared stare back.
~
"Is he coming back?"
"He's dead."
Arwen turned away from the window to glare at Cassian. "Azriel," she growled in correction. Cassian lifted his shoulders and thumped his palms on the table he sat at.
"I told him to cool off," Rhysand answered for her. He leant against the edge of the hearth, the warm hue painting his side. "He'll come back when he's ready."
"Did you know he was going to do that?"
Rhysand didn't look away from the fire as he shook his head. Arwen folded her arms and re-settled her temple on the windowpane. It was just as black outside as it had been the previous night, barely a sliver of the moon in the sky. There had been no sign of her mate.
He had killed for her. Killed for her without blinking, without a sign of his own anger taking hold. Killed a male because he took her wrist and she was scared. She didn't ask Cassian what his plan had been with the maleâdidn't want to know the leap Azriel had taken. Rhysand hadn't been angry, seeing the circumstance, but he had been peeved at the disruption it caused.
Arwen sealed her eyes shut as the headache returned and rubbed at her temple. A warm hand took hers, prying it away from her face. Rhysand had moved to stand in front of her and a prodding came into her mind. She let him in.
"I don't think you should winnow like this," he said. "We don't know what would happen."
"I could fly her home," offered Cassian.
Rhysand shook his head. "She's been suppressing it. Now that she's stronger, it might break the ring's shield. I'm not risking that happening mid-flight."
"I'm right here," she mumbled, annoyed by the distant label. Her headache grew stronger, so Arwen bowed her head. She started to sway. "I... I'm not... Rhys."
"Let's get you outside. Now."
There wasn't enough in her to argue as he took her arm and pulled her along the cabin. The scraping of Cassian's chair along the ground signalled his following. Arwen barely kept her legs from tumbling underneath her as they moved from the delightful warmth to the frigidness outside. There was no one to see them in the small yard out the back of the cabin that faced the surrounding woods. Shivers immediately took hold, dressed in only her nightwear and the snow encapsulated her bare feet.
"Rhys." She gripped his sleeves to push against him as the fire's warmth remained trapped in the house.
"You have to let it out, just like we do."
"Maybe you should let her put shoes on, at least," Cassian muttered with a downward motion of his head to her bare legs and feet.
"It's motivation," he countered. "Control it and you can go back inside."
He clasped one of her hands at his sleeve in both of his and removed the ring. Arwen immediately lost her grip on him, falling right back down to the earth. A groan grew in her throat, landing on the wounds she gained from her battle with Cassian. Her lungs quaked with a harsh shiver as the snow stole the remaining heat from her skin. The snow must belong to her tetherâher leash to this realmâbecause she felt every inch of its existence.
Closing her eyes, she concentrated on letting the power slip out of her, to allow her back to being tangible. When it felt done, Arwen opened them again. Rhysand who had dropped to a crouch, took the sign and reached for her. But his hand slipped right through her shoulder.
"I-It's cold," she said. Spikes of pain were already shooting up her bare feet. "I can't think."
"You're distracted," Rhysand told her. "Ignore everything else." Behind him on the short ledge before the steps, Cassian trudged back inside. "I know it's cold and the only way you'll get warm is if you come inside."
Arwen clenched her eyes shut again, trying to ignore the consuming kiss of frost. She opened them again, not in victory but because there was nothing. Her mind hurt and the longer she stayed out here the more her body ached. Rhysand sat on the bottom step out of the cabin, elbows driven into his knees and his chin tucked into his fingers which fiddled with her ring.
"Concentrate," he demanded.
Cassian returned, a thick blanket draped over his arm.
Arwen clamped her lips together, squeezing her toes to make sure she could still feel them. No one spoke, her whimpering breaths the only sound other than the distant noises of the camp. Before she even realised there had been a change, arms swept her off the ground. She nearly gasped in relief as her feet were freed from the snow and clung to Rhysand with no intention to be returned.
"Fuck you," she said once they reached the safety of the door.
"I had no choice," he muttered. "You looked like you were going to pass out and I don't know how we would have gotten you back if you had."
Arwen stole the blanket off Cassian's arm in passing, managing to half-drape it across herself before Rhysand put her back to her feet and she wound it tightly around her shoulders. She planted herself directly in front of the fire.
Rhysand sat next to her, holding out her ring. She reached through the parting and snatched it back. "Don't be angry at me," he said.
Arwen sighed and said, "I'm not. I'm annoyed at myself."
"What for? You managed to do it."
She sniffed, using her covered knuckle to tame the itch on her nose. "Did I mess today up?"
"No." At the quick response she couldn't help but twist her neck to look at her brother. Rhysand smiled at her. "We weren't going to do much in a day. I got exactly what I needed and that was their reaction. Delvon told me exactly what he thought of my stunt. You were wonderful."
She snorted at that. "I think I still have crusted blood in my nose."
From behind, Cassian said, "You deserved it after that elbow you gave to my face." Arwen chuckled and twisted around to grin up at him. He grinned back down. "I'm proud to be the one that trained you."
The unexpected compliment warmed her from the inside. Turning back to face the fire, she pulled her knees up to her chest and settled her chin atop of them. She just wished Azriel would come back.