Chapter 98
Arwen snatched her glass of water from the small table it had been on, dropping to the stone rooftop ground before the shaking in her leg muscles had her falling. Rhysand followed her down a moment later. She knew that her training was hardly a workout for him, a fact which she pointed out and said she was fine to just go through drills Cassian had run her through before, but apparently he wanted the light morning.
Well, light to him. Arwen winced as she flexed her toes to stretch her calves. The pain in her hips, however, was from a completely different sort of stretch. "No more," she groaned. "I beg of you."
Her brother laughed, ruffling her hair. "You did well. You still strike sharp and the technique is there, just need to get that muscle back."
"Think Cassian can spare some?" Arwen angled her chin over her shoulder where the general and shadowsinger were engaged in a spar. It was quite the sight, both blind to the world around them. Even the weight of her gaze which Azriel had an uncanny ability to feel, did not distract him. "I'm sure Helion has a spell for that."
Rhysand snorted. "Almost certainly," he said, playing with her tease. "It's Cassian you're going to have to convince to spare you any. It'll be like stealing from the Weaver." It was her turn to snort at the image of Cassian snarling like the death god. "It'll probably just be easier to make it yourself. Safer too."
"Yet you sent your mate right into the Weaver's home," Arwen recounted with a mocking tune. "We have yet to talk about that, Rhysie."
Her brother rounded his lips and looked away. "Ah. I was hoping some things like that had been forgotten about. The others have already given me shit for it and Feyre darling has forgiven me. I have paid my dues." She thumped him hard on the chest with her fist, silently regretting the action with the rejuvenated shaking in her arm. "Ow!"
"Now you've paid your dues." Leaning back on her palms, she opened her heart to the clear sky. "I've wanted to do that for so long. It is rather nice that you hear my complaints now. It was your stupidity that annoyed me the most. Nearly drove me insane some days." Not a far cry from the truth.
They had a moment of silence, then: "Do you want to talk about last night?"
Arwen kept her gaze forward. "What about it?"
"You left. You left Starfall."
"I've missed forty-nine years' worth. Another isn't a big deal," she answered, keeping her voice low. She still hadn't had that talk with Azriel, much to Cassian's chagrin, but Arwen did have every intention to.
Rhysand leant forward, elbows bracing on his folded knees. "It's those forty-nine years that worry me. And the two hundred others. You've loved Starfall ever since you were a babe."
Shrugging, she decided to give the same answer that she gave Azriel. "It was just a lot. Being back. Feeling everything. I'm fineâspent the night with Az. Which, if you're going to question me on was absolutelyâ"
Rhysand rose a hand between them. "Don't need to know." Arwen grinned at the expected reaction. "But you're okay. I don't have reason to worry?"
"I'm fine." Fine. Fine. Fine. The first words she kept telling herself every morning before she let the rest of the world in.
~
It took a week for Arwen to feel right again. She wondered why she had felt such a way at all as she sat with her family in the sunlight room, gobbling down breakfast (enough so that Cassian had looked worriedly over her as though she might vomit at any second) and trying to be heard over the other rambunctious conversations. After, Arwen caught Cassian on his way to the war room. She galloped in front of him, falling into a backward stride and took his hands in hers.
He continued his steady pace, arching a dark brow that had a scar running through it. She tugged on each arm in time with her steps like a strange dance. "You and I are going to Rita's tonight," she declared. "Mor too."
He didn't fight the pulls at his arms. "There a special occasion happening?"
"Just feel like going dancing. Rhys and Az are working tonight on something and Feyre is tired." She gave a little jump. "We should invite Lucien. He's at his house in town for the next week."
Cassian wrinkled his nose. "We should certainly not. Besides, I think he'll be busy with Rhys and Azriel. Have you asked Mor already? I thought she was preparing to go to Hewn City tomorrow morning?"
Halting her erratic movements, she admitted: "No." Twisting around to walk at his side instead, she asked, "Will you come though?"
The wince answered before the words came. "I've actually got a bit to do by tonight, sweetheart. I'm not sure I'll finish in time." The disappointment must have become clear on her face as he quickly weighted her shoulders with his arm. "Why don't you keep me company? Read and fetch me food when I'm hungry."
She managed to roll her eyes. "I'm not your servant. But I'll take the offer."
Arwen resided in the war room for the next few hours, doing as he suggested and settling into one of the chairs, reading a book as he silently and meticulously worked over plans that she was not privy to (and didn't bother inquiring about). When she could see the sun on the beginnings of its descent across the sky, the shadow of the mountain beginning to stretch towards the city, Arwen quietly left the war room. Cassian was too distracted to notice
She wandered the halls for some time after that, weaving back and forth out of halls and into rooms, attempting to find something to occupy her time. To distract her. Eventually, drawing pad in hand, she found a study that was barely the size of a small washroom. With no window, she had a lantern lit and hung overhead. It was dark, almost cramped, but Arwen found the tightness of it something of a comfort. Like she belonged within its walls. Settling in one of its dim corners, she pulled the sketching paper to her lap and worked away, her hand never once stopping.
~
"Have you seen Arwen?"
Rhysand frowned at Azriel. His brother had decided to join Mor on her trip to Hewn City after she expressed of concern about going alone. "Not this morning," Rhys answered, squinting against the new dawn that welcomed his lands.
Azriel's eyes darkened as he glanced across the pavilion, wings tight. His polished leathers gleamed with the azure glow of seven siphons. "She never came to my room last night. I haven't had the chance to tell her I'm leaving."
Rhysand shrugged off his worries. "She trained with Cassian yesterday. Probably curled up somewhere still fucking exhausted. I'll let her know you wanted to pass on the message." Azriel continued to look around in search of her presence. Rhysand waved him away. "Go on, you know Mor gets cranky when people are late."
Azriel rolled his eyes at that, but with a hesitant nod, spread his wings and took flight from the large balcony on the House of Wind. Rhysand waited until he was out of sight to begin his journey across the expanse of the House, heading first to her private chambers. But when he got there, the first sign that she wasn't in them was the open door. Arwen always closed them when she was inside. And unless she decided to become a freak for cleanliness, it didn't seem as though she had slept in the bed either which was perfectly made. Not in her room then, or in Azriel's. She hadn't been at the town house since that is where he slept.
Rhysand liked to think that he knew his sister well enoughâfrom her habits to the way she saw the worldâthat he could find her with just a bit of thought. He set the challenge for himself, pretending that he wasn't some powerful daemati that could hunt down the presence of her existence. So he checked the rooftop, the main balconies (especially one with a brilliant view of the sunrise which had now since ended) and the kitchen. All with no sign of her. No lingering scent either. His next bet was the library underneath the House but it wasn't a place she commonly went alone.
So he found Cassian. "You didn't fly Arwen anywhere yesterday, did you?" he asked as a way of greeting.
Cassian pursed his lips and shook his head, picking up a bright orange from the bowl of fruits. "No. What did she do?"
"Disappeared." Rhysand yawned and interlaced his hands on top of his head. "Didn't go back to her room last night. Or Azriel's."
Concern flittered across his brother's expression. "You need me to start looking? She'll have to be on the mountain somewhere unless she decided to brave the stairs. Wouldn't have reached halfway with the state she's in."
Rhysand dismissively shook his head. "She's up here somewhere." He turned to leave and continue his hunt but hesitated on an afterthought. Glancing back at Cassian he said, "Azriel has gone with Mor to the City of Nightmares. I'll find her but when she is about, keep her company will you? I don't like her being alone at the moment."
They shared a few conversations around the topic of his sister behind closed doors that only Feyre was privy to. Rhys forbade them from mentioning his concerns to Azriel but he was certain they had already crossed the spymaster's mind.
Two nights ago Azriel had found her in an empty sitting room that nobody used since it was deep within the House, meant for visiting court guests. Close to midnight, the room was dark other than the glow of the burning hearth. Azriel had been linked with Rhysand's mind when he found Arwen sitting on the floor close to the flames, staring endlessly into the flickering, amber tongues. Azriel had called her name twice, but it wasn't until he walked closer and laid a hand on her shoulder that she reacted, jolting with surprise. Rhysand felt the concern ripple through his brother's mind, felt the burning heat under Azriel's hand as he gripped her bare shoulder that had gone red from being so close to the heat.
So Cassian didn't need to question Rhysand, and only nodded dutifully.
Setting off again, Rhysand gave in and opened his mind in search of hers. Pinpointing it to the hall she was, he wandered up and down the usually unoccupied space. Most of the doors led to quarters for servants, one belonging to the half-wraith sisters. He checked them all before finally stopping in front of a darkwood door with metal trimmings. An old studyâone that he used as a child when he wanted to practice his work alone.
Rhysand opened the door.
He didn't know how to take in the sight before him. Hanging from the brass hook on the wall was a lantern, still alight although the flame was very low. The study itself hadn't changed since he had last been in it many years ago. On the far corner, folded in on herself, was Arwen. Tangled raven hair drooped over her face, hands limp on one side of her legs as she leant against the wall. Her drawing pad had mostly slid off her other leg, the granite pencil resting a few inches away.
His chest tightened.
But he could feel her life. Could hear the steady breaths. Rhysand crept forward, unsure yet whether to disturb her or attempt to keep her asleep. The floorboard gave a low moan as he crouched beside her, picking up the drawing book to move it out of his way.
The picture caught his attention. It was an Illyrian, he first noticed. A falling Illyrian, both wings bent around the form of a body, reaching for the sky in the same way the arms were outreached, grasping at nothing. He could almost see the air as it ripped around the figure, tearing through the long hair. The detail was immaculate. Rhysand was always surprised by her artistic skill since it hadn't been a trait of the family.
Neatly closing the book and grabbing the pencil, he whisked them away with his magic to her room.
"Now you," he mumbled under his breath, looking over his sister's crooked position, "have got to be uncomfortable." It was a marvel that she fell asleep at all in the wooden corner. Deciding to keep her asleep if he could, Rhysand gently wormed his arms underneath her body, urging her weight against him.
As he angled her body to his chest, she gave a small sound of disturbance. He slowed and waited but she only half-lucidly flopped an arm around his neck. Smiling, he restarted his efforts, pushing from the ground. Slipping into her mind, he gave a little tip in the direction of sleep, feeling her head lop heavier against his shoulder. Safe, as she should be.
Two Chapters cause this one is kinda a 'soft' chapter in the way that not much happens.