Chapter 12: Chapter 12

It seems like Darius has just got back as well when I pull into our driveway. He is gracefully unfolding his tall and muscular body out of the car as I’m driving in. He is parked on the edge of our circular driveway. He closes his car door and waits as I park Caspian’s car closer to the garage.

Standing there with the glow of the evening sunlight in his fair hair, he’s a beautiful vision. The dark jeans and the white shirt he’s wearing hug his sinew sexy body all in the right places. My heart aches a little bit more everytime I see him. I remind myself again that he can never be mine.

Remembering my resolution, I smile and give him a little wave.

There are things that I need to talk to him about. Things that I need to make clear.

I step out of the car, feeling nervous about talking to him.

Feeling suddenly shy and awkward, I wave at him again. Why are you acting like a stupid five-year-old, Penny? Oh gosh…this is painful.

His eyes are taking in my appearance slowly. He smiles a little at my wave.

The wind blows and suddenly he tilts his face up as if he’s sniffing the air. Oh uh, his lips thinned and his nostrils flare and I have a sudden urge to bolt and hide. It’s purely instinctive.

Before I’m able to take the first step, I find myself being pinned by a big hard body against the side of the car. He leans down and skims the skin of my neck with his nose, sniffing me.

“You’re smelling like a werewolf,” he growls.

I know he can smell Mr. Yummy lip ring on me, but that’s none of his business, so I snap back, “maybe that’s because I’m a freaking werewolf!” Goddess, how hard is it to be civil with this lycan?

“No…you’re with another man,” he barks out. “What did you do, Malyshka?” His grips tighten on my arms. He sounds even more possessive than I’ve ever heard him before. The heat radiating from his body and the feeling of his length pressing up against mine is making it hard for me to breathe. Slowly he leans down lower. His nose skimming over my collarbone, while his hand is trapping both of mine in place behind my back. His nose travels up, grazing my neck then my cheek until the tip of his nose is almost touching my lips. Oh,

goddess…what is he doing? My heart is hammering in my

chest.

“Did you kiss him?” he bites out. His breath fans my lips. His voice deep and husky. He smells so good.

“It shouldn’t matter to you,” my voice comes out in a breathless whisper.

His eyebrows come down into a scowl at my answer. He pulls back just a little bit and places a hand warningly on my face.

His thumb on one cheek, while his other fingers pressing on the other. I gulp nervously when I notice that pure black is bleeding into the whites of his eyes. It enters his light blue eyes and darkened them into deep cobalt blue.

I know his lycan has taken over some part of him. No matter what he wants, that part of him wants me so badly. It wants to mark his claim on me so desperately. I should be worried.

He jerks my face up and I wince. That makes his scowl

deepens. I thought he’s going to force me to look up again, but instead, he eases his hold on my face. He inspects my face, then caresses my cheeks gently with his finger as if making sure that I wasn’t hurt. I wonder if the lycan part of him is more in control now. His eyes follow the trail of his finger as if he’s fascinated. Something dangerous is lurking in his eyes and I dare not move.

It’s strange how his dark eyes look so cold and menacing, yet I can sense his quick-changing mood through them. He was mad at the beginning, then he was tender and concerned, now he’s behaving more like a predator studying it’s most elusive yet desired prey. It reminds me a bit of the way a cat playing with its food before devouring it. Sniffing my cheek, my neck, my

mouth. Then his mood changes again as his eyes roam over my face in awe and reverence.

My feet feel so weak. Just when I feel like I can’t take it anymore, he places his big warm hand on top of my chest, over where my heart is beating crazily. Our ragged breathing mingles together. A wave of desire rolls through my body and I close my eyes, waiting for his next move. I hate that my body is liking this, but I can’t help myself. “No, you didn’t kiss him,” he says almost to himself. My eyelids flutter open. His eyes glitter and his lips pull back to show his straight white teeth and canines.

Suddenly his hand on my chest moves up to grip the side of my neck as he buries his nose on the other. He licks the side of my neck hungrily and I shiver. Oh, gosh. I let out a small whimper when I feel his canines touching my skin.

Suddenly I’m being released. It’s so sudden that I fall sideways on the ground. Owww….this is the second time I’m lying on the ground today. I can’t stress enough, it is NOT comfortable down here.

He’s ten feet away from me breathing raggedly. I start cursing and he stares at me on the ground, seemingly surprised to find me there.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he says, running his fingers wildly through his fair blond hair, but makes no move to come closer or help me up.

His eyes travel down the length of my leg and I become aware of how much skin I’m showing now that the dress has hitched

itself up my thighs. I try to pull my tight dress down my legs as I try to pull myself up.

Sure, be that way. Ogle me, but don’t help me up.

Ughhh…this is why I wanted to kick him in the nuts so many times. Owww….thank you very much, Sir Galahad! I’m

struggling to get up in my high heels. I’m going to burn these high heels.

He sighs deeply before he comes over. He grips my arms firmly but gently and pulls me up to my feet. His eyes are now back to their bright icy blue color.

“I’m sorry..” he mutters regretfully and my rage dies down and I remember that there are things that I need to talk to him about. Things that I came to realize when I was sitting there beside Yummy lip ring by the lake.

Today by the lake, I’ve finally able to see it clearly. I’ve come to the conclusion that it was all my fault. The wasted three years, the heartbreak. I did that to myself.

He never cheated on me because there was nothing between us.

Darius told me point blank at the very beginning that there won’t be any future for us. He told me and showed me over and over again that he had no intention nor desire to make me his mate, yet I went after him. I was so sure that if I tried hard enough, he would change his mind one day.

I know I’m very stubborn. Everybody who knows me knows that. I go after things that I want single-mindedly. The thing is, I can’t have everything that I want. Especially when it’s a grown

beautiful lycan man who doesn’t want me. I can’t force a man to like me.

“Look, there’s something I would like to say,” I begin before I lose my courage. “I know you want Polina.”

He winces and I suddenly feel guilty about bringing her up. I don’t know why they’re not together, but it must be pretty painful for him to talk about her. I understand how he feels.

“Anyway, if she’s who you want, then you should be with her.

You told me so many times that we’re never going to be mates, so I don’t have the right to be mad when you slept with her.”

“Look, Persephone, that night we didn’t..”

“Look, don’t worry about it. I’ve got it all figured out,” I say quickly. Yes, I’ve got it all figured out at the lake.

“You have?”

“Yep! I think it’s better if we just forget about the past and be friends.”

“Be friends?”

“Yes,” I nod my head seriously. “We are going to forget that I’m your erasthai or whatever.”

His eyebrows shoot up. “We are?”

“Yes, we just be nice to each other. You do your own thing, and I do my own thing. You’re free to go out and do whatever with whoever you want, and I’m free to go out and…uh, do whatever with..err.. whoever I want.”

His eyebrows come down and his jaw clenches at that. He lowers his eyes, staring at the ground for a while.

“So, basically, we’re nothing to each other….just friends,” he says, sounding like he’s trying to understand what I just said, still without looking at me. His tone of voice sounds almost like he’s angry.

“Yep!” I confirm.

He doesn’t look too pleased, yet he’s mulling over something in his head. He raises his eyes to look at me again and I could almost see the wheel turning in his head. His expression clears up and a calculative look enters his eyes as he studies me.

“So, I’m your friend now?”He smiles a feral smile. He looks reckless and totally dangerous like this. I feel a bit uneasy, but I push the feeling aside.

“Yes, we’re friends,” I smile back.

“Let’s shake on it,” he says, holding out his hand for me to take.

“Okay.”

I look at his hand for a moment before I tentatively place my hand in it. My own hand looks so small and fragile in his big powerful one. He wraps his fingers around my hand and a zing

of electricity and heat burst and spread from our touching hands all the way down to my toes. I almost gasp. My stomach squeezed and my heartbeats pick up. His grip tightens as if he can feel it too. I look up into his eyes and he’s already looking at me, studying my reaction.

“Well, okay then.” I try to smile cheerfully up into his eyes while trying to pull my hand out of his. My smile feels wobbly.

There’s a glint of satisfaction in his eyes and he’s not letting my hand go right away. Why does it feel like a warning? If we’re playing a game, he’s in total control of it. He’s the master, the rule maker, the manipulator of the game and I’m in way over my head. His full firm lips curl up into a roguish smile when he finally let it go a while moment later.

I try to calm my heartbeat and say,” Okay…see you around.

Bye!” I practically run from the driveway up to the front stone steps.

“So, friend..” he says when he catches up to me. He grabs my elbow and steers me to the private walkway that leads to the back garden and the beach. “Does that mean from now on we’re going to play nice with each other?”

“Yea…” I wonder where he’s going with this.

“So, maybe I can come to some of these parties with you when I’m feeling bored?” he asks. ” As friends, of course.”

I look up at his suspiciously and he grins innocently back.

“Okay….but we can hook up with other people and the other should not be jealous about it,” I caution just to be sure. His grip on my arms tightens for a second, but then he smiles.

I have no idea how not to be jealous, but I’ll figure it out when I get there.

“Because I’m not your erasthai and we’re just friends,” I add, as a reminder to myself as much as to him. His grip on my arms tightens almost painfully, and his jaw clenches, but his smile is still intact.

Looking up at him, suddenly I get the feeling that he’s not too happy with this arrangement. “Are we good? I mean, we don’t have to be friends. We can keep it simple and just ignore each other…as long as we don’t fight anymore. I’m kinda tired of fighting.”

“No, no…we’re good. I’m happy to be your…uh, friend,

Persephone,” he counters immediately. Something flashes in his eyes, but it’s quickly gone.

I’m about to outline our “friendship” rules further when Sexy and I Know it by LMFAO starts playing.

I fish my phone from my back pocket and Mason’s goofy face splashes across the screen. He took a selfie this afternoon after keying his number on my phone.

I’m about to ignore the call, but Darius says, “no, take the call.

Please.”

“You sure?”

“Yes,” he says quietly.

I don’t really want to take the call with him here. I walk away ahead of him before I slide the screen to accept the call.

“Hi, Mase,” I say, flicking my eyes to Darius who’s walking slowly behind me. He’s a few feet away and his light blue eyes are fixed on the distant horizon where the ocean is, looking like he’s in a deep in thought. His hands are shoved down the front pockets of his jeans.

“Hey, dollface,” says Mason. “What are you up to?”

“Nothing good. How was your evening at the library?”

“It was a riot, you should have been there. Everybody was having fun. Disco lights, confetti, pinatas, librarians dancing on the table….just another crazy day at the library.”

“Sexy librarians? I bet they were stripping as well. Shading clothes as they go? I bet you must be so happy to discover they had garter belts underneath all those stuffy clothes.”

Mason laughs. “Sexy librarians? You haven’t been to our library much have you?”

“Eh…I’ve been in….once.”

“You might have traumatized me after forcing my brain to imagine our librarians in garter belts.”

“You did that all to yourself Mason,” I laugh. “Anyway, what’s wrong with librarians in garter belts?”

“You seriously haven’t seen them? Most of them are like a hundred years old!”

“I know a few hundred-year-olds who are still hot…besides if I was there, I’d totally joined them dancing on the table.” He’ll be surprised if he knew that I’m not joking about this.

“Now THAT I would like to see,” Mason announces.

I giggle. “I bet you would.” Then I remember that Darius can hear this. When I glance at him behind me, he’s staring at the ground, looking thoughtful.

“Would you be wearing garter belt as well?” Mason’s voice lowers. Darius’s muscles tightening and his jaw clenches.

“I…uh..”

“Hey, listen,” continues Mason as if he could sense my uneasiness. “If you have no other plans, we’re having a bonfire party at the beach this Friday. Would you like to come?”

“Sure. Sounds like fun,” I smile, letting out a sigh of relief. I know Lily, Amanda and Keisha are going to be there. We were talking about it in class today.

If my lycan friends notice the difference on how things are between Darius and me during dinner this evening, they didn’t say anything. They did give us puzzled and questioning looks at the beginning and Genesis gave me a sly happy smile. I hope she’s not planning our marking party and naming our babies in her head already.

We chat like friends. Friends who can’t keep eyes off each other.

Another thing that I discover when we’re talking is that I can tell what he’s thinking just by looking at him. I can read his eyes. I can see the wheel turning in his head and I know right away if he disagrees with an idea, or if he comes up with some ideas, or when he finds something is funny even when others are unaware of it yet. He seems to be able to do the same with me.

The discovery makes me pull back a little at the end. This is something that I don’t want to find out.

I’ve grown quiet at the end of the meal, and I found him studying me closely when he sensed my changing mood.

In the middle of the night, I’m awoken again by the sound of his pain and agony. The sound of him trapped in his nightmare.