Chapter 24: Chapter 24

STILL DARIUS’S POV

Life consists of choices. Our last Commander, Louis made a choice that proved to be disastrous for his mate, himself, and a few others. Here I am, considering bolder choices that could end me or lead me to a fate worse than Louis’s.

I have long suspected there is a sleeper within my team. Louis must’ve known this. I don’t blame him for doing what he did.

I had recently discovered that Louis discreetly brought the investigation up to King Alexandros. There is a traitor among the Royals. He presented the evidence, but the King flat out refused to believe him. The king was furious. There would be no trial. No royals would be brought to justice. Louis himself will face trial and stripped of his title and position if the matter goes public.

A day later, Louis and his mate were gone. Death comes swiftly in our world.

I’m very sure that the King had no involvement in Louis and his mate’s killing, but someone very close to him did. I have no illusions of how this is all going to end. A war is coming and I have to end it before it starts. It might not end well for me, but I need to end this once and for all. I’ve considered doing this alone, but that would be committing suicide. I need back up. I need help from warriors who are loyal to the crown Prince.

I’ve been toying with the idea of approaching Prince Caspian, Prince Constantine, and Lazarus about the matter after I knew about Louis’s meeting with the King. They need to know.

I hate getting Prince Caspian and his pack involved, especially with Persephone being almost part of them, but nothing can be gained by keeping them in the dark since the crown Prince is the next target after the King. I need them to be on guard and keep Persephone safe. The Princes also have their own men who don’t take orders from the Palace. They’re among the best warriors and to have them on my side would be a great

advantage.

I’m taking a big risk. If the prince and his pack didn’t believe me, I would be charged for treason. The punishment for treason is death.

If they believe me, they would be going against the King, therefore committing an act of treason as well. Whatever action taken from here on would be an act of treason.

Security is set up whenever the Prince and his pack settled at after the kidnapping of Prince Constantine’s mate. A few weeks ago there’s a new threat against his pack. I used the security excuse to pay the Prince and his pack a visit.

I brought one of my officers, Eva with me. She’s like one of the guys, a very capable warrior in the field and trustworthy, though she’s not very quick to pick up non-verbal cues. It would take a while, if ever for her to figure out what Persephone means to me. The fewer people know about my erasthai, the safer she is.

I have been weighing this decision for a while. Like I said, choices. In my case that could mean life and death.

Tonight, I’ve finally come to a decision. It might have something to do with seeing Persephone with her mate. I might have lost my one and only chance at happiness.

Tomorrow I will talk with the three Royal lycans. Whatever they decide to believe me or to kill me, it has to be done.

If they believed me, I will go back to Russia proceed with their backing and their blessing. If they didn’t, they will have to catch me first because I will make sure that my comrades will be avenged, the throne will not be taken over by the lycan governed by greed, and most importantly, my erasthai will be safe before they end me. I will do this. I will end this with or without help.

The sky is clear and it’s a full moon. The inky black ocean is rolling its waves to the shoreline.

A faint familiar tantalizing scent carries by the sea breeze teases my nose. My eyes zero in on a motion in a distance. At the end of miles of pale sandy beach bathed in the silvery moonlight, a speck of dim yellow light and a flurry of pale fabric and movement.

Persephone. My lycan stirs and calms immediately. She’s here…that means she’s not with him.

I should’ve kept my distance, but I couldn’t help myself. I can’t seem to leave her alone. I kept telling myself that I was saving her from herself and for her mate. Truth is, I can’t stand the thought of any male touching her.

I’m a warrior. I’m strong and always in control of my lycan, but every time she comes home reeking of other males, my lycan is in danger of taking over.

She’s very stubborn, though. This stubborn woman is driving me crazy and the worse thing is, she’s never lacked male’s attention.

I watch her progresses along the stretch of the sandy beach.

The way she walks is fascinating. Her steps always sure and carry the gracefulness and aggressiveness of a warrior with a hint of haughtiness. I don’t think she realizes it, but she walks like she’s giving the world a finger when she’s pissed off…which happens very often.

Her long hair dances in the wind. The soft folds of her dress swish gently with her every movement. The pale yellow glow that I saw from afar proves to be one of the solar garden lights.

For whatever reason, she’s cradling it to her chest. Huh. What is that for? This should be interesting.

I lean on one of the pier poles and cross my arms over my chest. Waiting.

As she gets closer, I can tell that she is not pissed. She’s very determined. She is set on something and I’m not too sure if that’s a good thing for me.

This woman is fiery. If you’re not careful you’d be lost, engulfed in her flame. A lesser man would cower and let her lead. With me, we butt heads. She makes me feel alive. A lesser woman would bore me to death.

I can smell a hint of that human smell on her and suddenly all I really want to do is go back there and kill the human she calls mate.

“Darius,” she calls out softly. I straightened up and my focus is all on her.

“Persephone,” I return. “What are you doing out here?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I was looking for you,” she answers. My Malyshka. She’s not the one to beat around the bush. “Now, I want you to officially reject me.”

What? “Persephone, it doesn’t work that way. We’re tied for life. There’s no rejection in erasthai bond. Even if there was, I won’t ever reject you.”

“But you don’t want me,” she exclaims, throwing her arms out in frustration. Then she turns around to look at the sea.

“Just…just tell me that you reject me,” she adds in a smaller voice. I can hear uncertainty and fear. That’s not really something that she wants to hear. No, it’s not something I can do either. I can say it, but it won’t mean a thing. Besides, I won’t say it. You can rip my spine off, I still won’t do it.

“Is it because I’m not pretty enough? Or tough enough? Or smart enough? I mean, I know I’m pretty stupid, most of the time…”

“Okay, stop!” I tell her.

Goddess! This maddening crazy beautiful woman! She’s driving me crazy…all the time. How can she not know how truly

desirable she really is? How she torments me with the thought of her day and night? How can she not know I’m giving up my life for her? She owns me completely.

The last couple of weeks I’ve been here, I’ve been trying to tell her with my touch and my kisses what I can’t tell her with words.

“No, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect. I’m the one who’s messed up and keep messing things up.” I tell her.

“Really? You’re giving me that line? Seriously???” she suddenly screeches, twirling around to face me again. The end of her dress waving wildly in the wind.

“What line?” This woman. Now, what is she talking about?

“‘It’s not you, it’s me’ line…ugghhh…I hate that line. I use that line on men, not the other way around! And by the way, nobody bought that line. NOBODY!”

“Men? What men? How many other men?” I jump in.

“Oh, of course, that’s the only thing that you heard from what I’ve just said,” she huffs.

What? I’m totally lost now. I never had to deal with women this way. I never answered to anybody except for my higher ranking officers, and they’re NEVER this confusing.

Now what? Okay, let’s do this again.

“Persephone.”

“Darius,” she mimics my tone.

For a moment I’m speechless. Okay, I’m doomed.

“You’re giving me a headache,” I tell her.

She narrows her eyes at me. Oh uh…I know that look. Wrong thing to say?

“Headache? Now you look here! You…you…you…”

Okay, this is bad. When she’s mad she’s speechless. She looks totally breathtaking when she’s mad like this, though. Skin all flushed. Eyes bright and shiny. Very adorable. Now her hair is windblown and wild. Very sexy.

“Arrrghhhh!!!! You’re so….arrrgghhh!!!!”

Okay.

“I hate you! I HATE YOU!!!!” she yells and stomps her feet on the wet firm sand and throws the solar lamp she’s been carrying with her for whatever reason on the ground. It would’ve hit me if I didn’t lift my foot on time.

So violent. She’s perfect.

“Look! Look!!! You made me throw Jake on the ground! It’s all your fault! All your fault!” Jake? Who’s Jake? Judging by the way she’s pointing at the lantern on the ground, I’m guessing that’s Jake?

I lean back and watch her. Beautiful.

“Stop looking at me like that! You think…you think this is amusing? You think…Oh my gosh!!! You’re so…you…I

never..Arrgghhh!!!” She stops for a beat. I think she’s running out of breath. She’s so amazingly sexy…and cute.

“You know what? Fvck you! Fvck you!!!” she screams and turns to stomp away. My feisty little erasthai.

“Hey!” I grab her wrist before she gets too far. “Persephone, hey, look at me.”

She tries to rip her wrist away from my hold without even looking at me. She stops tugging her hand finally when it’s obvious to her that I wouldn’t let her go. She’s not going anywhere until I’m good and ready. She stays stubbornly stiff, refusing to turn to look at me. I keep holding onto her wrist.

Her little wrist feels so fragile in my hand. Her skin feels like warm silk. I didn’t even realize I’m drawing circles on her soft skin until she tugs it once again.

“Let me go,” she finally says. Something in her voice and the shake of her shoulders alarms me. I grip both her shoulders and turn her around. Tears are running down her face. My chest constricted painfully.

No, no, no, no…tears. My strong little warrior. I did this. I bring her body close to mine and wrap both arms around her, overwhelmed by the need to protect her.

“Don’t. Please don’t. Don’t cry over me, sweetheart. I’m not worth your tears. Please…” How can I fix this? How can I fix this?

“Darius…” she cries against my chest.

“Tell me how I can make it better,” I place my nose on her smooth cheek and taste the saltiness of her tears on my lips.

“Persephone…” I run my thumb over her wet cheek.

“Darius…” she sounds tortured. She touches my cheek and I lean into it. Greedily soaking in the feeling that only she can give me. The pleasurable spark that connects our souls together. Breathing in her scent that gives my broken soul peace. Home. She’s my home.

She smells so good. I can’t resist pulling her closer and run my lips across her jaw, breathing in her scent. I want so badly to taste her again. “Baby, please don’t cry,” I whisper against her soft skin.

This just seems to make her cry harder, so I pull back. Goddess, I’m such a monster.

Another tear makes a trail down her face and she says, “Tell me why you don’t want me. Why? Why am I not good enough?”

It’s painful to hear her asking me those questions. She’s always so strong. So confident. It pains me to think that I broke her spirit and confidence in any way.

I have to stop her tears. I have to fix this.

I wish so badly that I can talk freely to her about our mission. I hate hurting her. So many times in the past I selfishly wanted to ask her to wait for me. How long should she wait? How much longer would it take? Three more years? Ten? Twenty?

What if I died during our mission?

Now, with the choice I just made, the chance of me not being able to come back to her is higher.

The thought of never seeing her again brings a crushing pain to my chest. My life is hers. I doubt anybody would ever love her the way I do.

I run my hand over my face and my hair in frustration. I’m going back there and end this one way or another. If I didn’t make it back. If this is the last time I ever see her, I’m going to make sure that she knows how much she is loved. I have to make it count.

“Persephone, would it be enough if I told you that…” Oh, Goddess, I’ve never done this before. Pouring my heart out is harder than going to war. “Uh…that I don’t hate you?”

I wince as soon as those words come out of my mouth.

Seriously??? I am an idiot! Fuck!

She is now staring up at me open-mouthed and with wide eyes.

I think she’s speechless. I blow out a tortured breath and try again, “what I really wanted to say is…I uh…I….”

“Just spit it out already!” she growls.

“I’m trying to bare my soul to you here okay?” I tell her in frustration. “This is not easy.”

She answers me by twirling around and plonks herself down on dry sand. “This might take all night,” she sighs. “Might as well make myself comfortable.”

I should feel offended, but I can’t deny the truth behind her words. Why is this so hard? Maybe because I’ve never told another soul that I love them. Ever. I never had anyone.

Okay, let’s do this. I run my fingers through my hair and say,

“I’m very…uh, fond of you.”

“Oh, I get it! It’s like when you have a cat or a pet fish, you’re very fond of them, right?” she chimes in.

“Yes! NO! I mean, no. Not like that,” I tell her. I narrow my eyes as I look at her closely. She’s not making this any easier for me. The glitter in her eyes could be unshed tears, but then again it looks suspiciously like a wicked glint. I push my suspicion aside when I see her wipe the corner of her eyes. Like I said, I’m such an idiot.

“I have feelings for you. I care about you more than I care for anybody in this world.” Ouch! That sounds awkward. Ripping an enemy’s heart out is less stressful and painful than saying

that out loud…especially in front of her. I feel my face heating up.

PENNY’S POV

“I have feelings for you. I care about you more than I care for anybody in this world.”

My heart skips a few beats at his words. He sounds awkward and looks very uncomfortable and even in the pale moonlight, I can see his cheeks redden.

Is he blushing? I’m so confused right now. Is this really happening? He has feelings for me, does that mean..?

Okay….hold up, first, he said he didn’t hate me. Then he said he was fond of me. Now he said he had feelings and cared for me more than he cared for anybody in this world. What’s next?

What does that even mean? Does that mean that he cares for me more than he cares for a pet fish? I mean if it’s any other guy who said that to me, I would assume that they have romantic feelings for me, but you can’t be too sure when you’re dealing with Darius.

“Uh…say something,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. I suddenly realized that I’ve been staring up at him with my mouth open for a long while now.

I close my mouth and try to think of something to say.

“Huh,” I say.

Okay, not my best line, but I can’t think of anything else to say right now. Now he’s the one who’s staring at me in

bemusement. His glacier blue eyes look dark in the moonlight.

They are always so intense. Every time he’s looking at me it feels like he misses nothing.

Tonight I discovered that he couldn’t stand to see my tears. He looked so tormented at the sight of my tears. He looked like he’d give me the moon if I asked for it just to stop my tears.

Why didn’t I know about this before? I’d use it sooner had I known about it. I have no shame and I feel no guilt. I’d use anything as my weapon to get what I want. I told you I’m no angel

I never showed him my tears all these years for fear that he’d see my weakness, I never thought that his weakness is my tears.

I suspect very few people can get through that impenetrable wall he built around himself, tears or no tears. Now I know his weakness, I’m going to use it against him.

I try to bring out the tears just for the heck of it. Nothing happens. Too bad I can’t turn my tears on at will like a tap.

Note to self: Register for a drama class next semester.

“Persephone,” he says, jerking me out of my unholy planning.

“What does that mean?” I finally ask him.

He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair for the tenth time tonight. His pale blond strands are all mussed up. A few top buttons of his dress shirt are undone. It’s so unfair. Why does he have to look so hot all the time?

“What does that mean? It means that you’re important to me.”

“Important to you…like a king is important to you? Or like a pet fish important to you?” I know I’m babbling, but I can’t help myself. Suddenly I’m nervous. My brain shuts down and I can’t form a coherent sentence when I’m too pissed, but I can’t keep my mouth shut when I’m nervous. “You know, King is important. So’s a pet fish, or a pet cat, or a doggy…or pet anything, you know? Or did you mean like….”

“Goddess, Persephone!” he bursts out. He sounds very

frustrated and very very exasperated.

“Yeah, that works too. Goddess is important…I suppose. I mean…”

“Persephone…” he groans, sounding extremely frustrated. He has both hands raking over his hair by now. I was about to open my mouth to warn him that he might lose his glorious hair very soon if he keeps doing that when he blurts out, “It means that I love you, okay? I’m in love with you!”

My heart almost gives out. My knees feel weak.

Ooohh…lightheaded. Lightheaded! It’s a good thing that I’m sitting down. I think I’m about to hyperventilate, so I put my head between my knees. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in…

“Hey, are you okay?” he’s suddenly crouching next to me. He sounds alarmed and very worried. “Malyshka? Talk to me. Are you hurt? Are you sick?” I feel his big warm hand pressing on my back and another on my knee.

I had been goading him tonight. I can’t deny, I had been trying to irritate him as much as he’s irritating me, but not even in my wildest dream I thought I’d hear him say those words to me.

Did he really just said that he’s in love with me?

“Just give me a minute,” I breathe against layers and folds of the fabric of my dress. My voice is muffled by it, but I think he heard me because he stops asking me questions. His hand is now gently stroking my back, trying to soothe me.

Arrgghh…he’s messing with my brain!

I daydreamed about him confessing his undying love to me in the past but in my dream, nothing like this happened.

In my daydream, he confessed his everlasting love, then we stare into each other’s eyes forever and we kissed, then we lived happily ever after. It never ended with me hyperventilating.

Near panic attack.

Next thought in my head? Hey, this is not romantic! Not romantic at all!

Then another thought enters my head. Really? Did he really just tell me that he loves me? After all these years? What about Matthew? What about Polina?

Gosh, I’m so confused! I don’t know how I’m feeling. My brain is still trying to take everything in.

I followed him out here tonight wanting him to reject me even though I knew things don’t work that way in erasthai bonds. I knew I’d be heartbroken all over again just to hear him say it.

My feelings for him run too deep. I knew no matter what happens, my connection to Darius will never go away but I just wanted closure so that I can go to Matthew without feeling guilty or without any doubt.

At least that was what I was planning to do, but dealing with Darius is never that easy. He’s the most complex and confusing male ever. Not to mention frustrating. Now, what do I do?

Finally, I raise my head, breathing normally again. He takes a deep breath, looking relieved.

“You love me? Since when?” I ask him.

“The first time I saw you.”

“And you just told me this now? What about Polina?”

“What about her?”

Oh, did he really just asked me that? “You love her! You slept with her!!!” Arrgghhh!!! Now I’m pissed all over again. “And those other women…you…you asshole!!! How…you…what???

You..”

“I don’t love her and I didn’t sleep with her!” he cuts in. “I didn’t okay? It was stupid. I didn’t…Gosh,” he runs a hand down his face. “I don’t love her…never did. I never slept with any of those other women. Since the first time I saw you, there’s only ever been you.”

I open my mouth to say something. Then I close it again.

“But I saw you…”

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a second. When he opens them again, there’s a resolved look in them.

“I know what you saw…I’ve been trying to tell you that nothing happened. I’m not at all interested in her…or any other women.

I couldn’t even pretend that she was you…This is such a mess.”

“Pretend she was me?” I ask him. “I don’t understand. You were trying to hurt me?”

“Malyshka, I didn’t want to hurt you. I just wanted you out of Russia,” he stands up, putting some distance between us. Good call, I might be tempted to hit something or someone soon.

“You did that just to get me out of Russia???”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“It’s not safe for you to be there.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me to leave???” I scream. Arrghhh!!!!

“If I asked you to leave and stay away from Banehallow Palace.

Stay away from Russia…from me. Would you have listened?”

“Yes!” I answer quickly. He looks at me with those penetrating eyes and I look away. “Well, maybe…” I concede and look up again. He’s still staring at me intently and I look down at the fold of my dress. “Okay, maybe not,” I answer truthfully in a small voice. I’m very stubborn. So what?

“I can look after myself,” I say airily, as I get up and wipe the sand at the back of my dress. “So what now?” I ask him. “Are you going to mark me?”

“No, Malyshka.”

“What do you mean no? You said you loved me.”

“I do love you. Believe me, I do. I don’t say those words unless I meant it. I don’t take those words lightly.”

“But you won’t mark me?”

“No. It wouldn’t be fair to you. It’ll only put your life in danger,” he explains. “And I have to go back to Russia soon.”

What??? “You’re leaving?” I shriek. “Let me guess, you won’t take me with you either. Am I right?”

“Yes, it’s too dangerous for you to be there right now, Malyshka.”

“Everything is too dangerous for me!!! You won’t mark me because it’s too dangerous for me. It’s too dangerous for me there, but you’re going! Is that it?”

“Malyshka,” he says as if he’s talking to a recalcitrant little girl.

“I’m a warrior. I have a job to do. I have to go back.”

“Why can’t I go with you? I might be able to help. I can help you sleep better. I can..”

“No,” he curtly cuts me off.

As*hole!!! I don’t know whether to feel elated at his confession or cry that he’s abandoning me. Again. I should’ve known better.

“Fine!” I yell. “You know what? Go back to Polina.

Just…just…just go! See if I care. I don’t…see if I care.”

“Malyshka, I’m not going back to anybody. I don’t think you’ve been listening,”

“I did listen! You said you loved me, then you’re leaving me,”

tears I’d been trying hard to squeeze out before suddenly starts to prick my eyes. Great!

“Persephone,” he groans when he sees my teary eyes.

“How long?” I ask him, turning my back to him. “How long are you going to be there?”

“I don’t know,” he answers and my tears spill over my cheeks.

“Are you ever coming back at all?” I croak out. “Go then! I don’t care! I really don’t,” I tell him while quickly wiping my tears away with the back of my hand.

“Persephone,” he looks tormented. “Please understand. I want nothing more than to mark you and take you away, but I’m trying to do the right thing. Help me do the right thing, Malyshka,” he reaches out to hold me, but I push his hands away.

“Just go!” I snap. A new thought suddenly occurs to me. “Wait!

Are you getting yourself killed? Is that why you won’t mark me? What if you died?”

“If I died, you’re still going to live a long happy life,” he says.

“But if I survived, and when my duty is done, I’ll come back.”

I cross my arms over my chest and turn to glare up at him.

He wants to play the martyr role? Fine! I give him a martyr role!

“Whatever!” I say. “Don’t bother. By the time you get back here, I might already be married…to my mate.”I know I’m behaving badly, but I’m so pissed. He can’t just leave me here. I know I can help him and he wouldn’t let me.

He growls. His eyes flash warningly.

“So happily married and in love with my mate, I’d have forgotten all about you. We’ll have sex. Lots and lots of sex like rabbits!” Oh, gosh…did I really just said that?

“Persephone,” he growls warningly.

“My mate and I will have lots and lots of kids…lots!” I keep going.

“Stop it! Persephone,” he warns, but I’m just getting started.

“In fact, the moment you step on that plane, I will…eeekkk!!” I let out a shriek and gasp as I’m being picked up. One moment my bare feet are firmly planted on the ground, the next they are dangling in the air.

My own hands automatically go up to grab his broad shoulders the moment he picked me up.

He picked me up like I weigh nothing. One arm goes around me with his hand firmly on my butt, pressing my body against his. The other hand is holding the back of my neck, forcing my head up so that I’m looking up into his fierce eyes. Even in this light, I can see black bleeding into his eyes.

“The only sex you’re having is with ME!” he hisses, his hands gripping me tighter. Then he closes his eyes and takes a calming breath. When he opens his eyes a few seconds later, his eyes are back to their pale blue, but he’s still very furious.

“Watch your mouth, Malyshka. Now that you found him,

marking you is the only thing I can think about. Marking you and claiming you so that you can’t be claimed by anyone else.

In my head and my heart, you’re already mine. You’re mine the first time I saw you. You belong to me and you knew it.”

“I know of no such thing!” I snap back, quite forgetting the position I’m in.

The way I’m being held right now, I’m quite at his mercy. My feet are on either side of his body, the rest of me is pressed up and molded against him very intimately. The warmth of his

hard body and powerful arms around me seep through the layers of our clothing. Pleasurable chills run through me.

He leans down and our faces are so close that our mouths are almost touching. My lips part and our breath mingled.

Awareness and sparks of electricity sizzle between us. He brings his mouth closer, and tilt my head sideways. I close my eyes and my breath caught. I’m expecting to feel his lips against mine, but I feel them graze my jaw and the side of my face. My heartbeat is going wild. I wrap my arms around his neck as he nuzzles my ear.

“If I survived, I will come back for you. Next time I come back here, Malyshka. Run! I WILL mark you and claim you no

matter if you’re already marked, claimed or married to someone else,” he nips my earlobe with his teeth once. “None of that matter, because you’re mine.”

Darius carried me all the way home after our talk or fight tonight. He gave me a funny look when I asked him to pick Jake the solar garden light off the ground and carry it home with us. I wasn’t about to leave Jake all alone by himself there.

I was mad at him, but I watched him all the way home while he stared straight ahead. Every so often he would glance at me and hold my eyes. I studied his features like it’s the last time I would see him.

Now I find myself I staring at the mirror in my bathroom. I just brushed my teeth and it’s already two in the morning, yet my eyes are still bright. My hair looks wild, so I run my fingers through it to tame it down. I hear the shower going in the bathroom next door.

I enter my walk-in closet and I’m changing into my pajama shorts and a tank top when I hear the shower being turned off.

Oh, gosh, since when did I become a creepy stalker? I’m listening to his every move next door. I should stop listening!

I hum softly to myself to stop my ear from tuning in to every move he’s making. It’s not helping much though. I stop humming and my ears perk up when I hear a soft tapping on his door.

Uh oh…I hear a door opening and muffled voices. It’s a woman’s voice and it sounds like Eva. What does she want with him at two in the morning? They’re talking so quietly that I can’t make out what they’re saying. Darn it! So I place my ear to the wall. So much for not being a creepy stalker.

I can’t hear anything! I scowl at the wall. What is going on?

Then I hear the door closing and Eva’s footsteps receding down the hall.

I drop myself onto the bed with a sigh. What are you doing, Penny? I honestly don’t know. There is Darius and then there is Matthew. I can’t have them both.

I was so ready to let Darius mark me tonight. I had a fight with him about it. I forgot all about Matthew then.

It’s not fair for Matthew. As a human, he wouldn’t feel the loss of a mate like a werewolf, but it’s still not fair to him. He hasn’t done anything wrong. Shouldn’t I give him a chance?

Tomorrow. I’ll think about everything tomorrow. There’s no way I can fall asleep just yet though. My brain is still fired up

from what Darius just told me. My body is still tingling from his touch. Did he really just told me that he loves me? Then I remember his nightmares. I know he hasn’t been sleeping. He hasn’t slept for a few nights now.

I make my way to the balcony and into his darkened bedroom.

The moonlight is shining brightly so his room is bathed in its silvery light. His fair head looks bright against the dark headboard. His muscled naked upper torso looks like a

smoothly carved marble statue. His room is filled with his wonderful scent.

He lifts the corner of the cover up as I step into his room. He’s been waiting for me.

I lie on my back and he slides down and rests his head on my chest as if he’s listening to my heart beating.

“Thank you,” he says, wrapping his arms tightly around me.

I feel tears threatening to come out, but I blink them away.

Broken. He’s broken and we are both very messed up. I wrap my arms around him and thread my fingers through his thick silky blond strands.

I keep playing with his hair until I hear his breathing evens out.

It doesn’t take long. He’d gone so long without sleep. He needs this. It’s the only thing I can give him right now.