AFTER PEEING on the stick, I rested it onto the sink's counter, and headed into the kitchen for a bottle of water. I had to eat something, but was afraid that I'd throw it all up anyway.
And I was afraid of walking back into the bathroom, and looking at that stick. That frickin' stick decides my future. It could have been negative. And what would that mean? I would have been stressing over nothing. But if it was positive... I'd need to rearrange my entire life. Fuck, I'd be a single mother. My mother would have killed me.
But screw her. I needed to focus on my happiness, and what I wanted in life. Do I want a baby? It was a difficult question to answer. If I was married, and had someone to take the journey with, I might have been less scared out of my mind. I didn't even know how to get in touch with the guy from Tinder. I couldn't remember his name, and I deleted his number out of my phone already. Maybe his profile was still up? I'd have to check.
But did I want him to be involved? He had the right to know, of course. Or did he? I could have had the baby to myself. I wouldn't have to share custody, or holidays. The baby would be mine, and mine alone. My controlling side was starting to get the best of me, and all I needed to do was look at the damn stick!
My phone began to ring again, and I irritatedly walked into the bathroom, and grabbed it, only to see the pregnancy test, and the answer to my worries.
Looking at my phone, it was Delia calling. I took a much needed, deep breath, and answered.
"Hello?" I swallowed.
"Hey, are you busy?" I took the stick off of the counter, and walked into my bedroom. Sitting down on my bed, I leaned back, still holding onto it.
"I've got some time. What's up?"
"Just missed your voice. I'm having an employee dinner tonight, would you like to come?" I looked at the test again. In some ways, I felt relief, but also sad.
"I can't. I'm not feeling too well. But have fun. We can catch up some other time."
"Are you going to be okay? Do you need anything?"
"I'm overworked. Some sleep will do, but thanks, Delia. We can talk tomorrow?"
"Yeah. That'll be great. Get your rest."
"Bye," I threw the phone down, as I burst into tears. What am I going to do about her? We were getting to know each other, and see where things took us. But would she still date me even though I'm fucking pregnant!