"I'M SO sorry, honey," Markian hugged me in the elevator. I was in a daze, as we walked back to the car. At least I wasn't back to square one in my life, I had a bean to watch blossom. And that helped me fight the tears away.
Markian dropped me home, and made sure that I made it into my apartment safely. He hugged me again at the door, and kissed my cheek.
"Thank you for today."
"Just take care of yourself, honey. If you need anything, just give me a call, okay?" I nodded, "I have to hurry though. I promised Charlie a date night, and she'll be ready any minute."
"You two are getting serious, huh?"
He waved at me, as he walked back to the elevator, "I'll give you an update soon," he grinned playfully. I turned and took my keys out of my pocket.
My mother was probably wondering where I'd been so long. All I told her when I left was that I needed some fresh air. When I opened the door, I felt as though I walked into a memory of my childhoodâthe smell of cinnamon cookies filled my senses with nostalgia.
"Mom?" I walked towards my room, but I noticed someone sitting on my couch, "what the fuck are you doing here?" This day is really shitty to me.
"Nice to see you too, Alyssa," Mom rushed out of my room, and towards us.
"Your language is appalling these days," she scrutinized, as she turned her attention to him, "she's been under alot of stress lately, don't take it to heart, dear."
"I can't believe you," I rubbed my temples, "I'm not in the mood to deal with this right now. Can you please leave?"
"Your mom told me about the accident. I just wanted to make sure that you're okay. I do care about you, Alyssa."
Breathe. Just breathe.
"Did she also tell you that I'm pregnant?" His eyes widened. If anything was going to make him stay away from me, it was certainly that.
"No, she didn't mention. Congratulations," I looked at my mom and smiled. She wore the deepest frown. If you like him so much, you should take him.
"Yeah, do you still want me now, Ricky? Or will you go fuck one of my neighbours again?"
"Alyssa!" She yelled. I gritted my teeth.
"You should leave," I walked to the door, and opened it.
"Yeah, uh, okay," he rubbed the back of his neck with the palm of his hand, as he walked out.
"Take care of yourself," he muttered.
"You too," I almost slammed the door behind him. Turning to my mom, she huffed out a breath in disbelief.
"I didn't raise you like that."
"How did you raise me, Mom? To take shit from people? I'm so sick of this."
I stormed into my bedroom, but she followed me, "so you're going to have this baby on your own? This is never what I'd planned for you. Do you know what people will think? You're unmarried and pregnant! And god knows who the father isâ"
"Just shut up! I can do this all on my own. I never asked for your help. Why don't you fucking go home!" I panted and placed my hand over my stomach.
"Honey, sit down," she placed her hand on my shoulder, and guided me to the bed, "breathe, honey."
"I know I'm a disappointment to you," in more ways than you know. I carefully breathed in and out, "but my life's been better by myself."
"I don't understand. Maybe that's because I can't be by myself," she sighed and sat beside me, "you're not a disappointment, Allie. I just want what's best for you. I worry about you all the time. You're my only child, and you don't even call me."
I felt guilty. It was true. But I felt that it was best to stay away. She was very critical. Every conversation that we would have, she would find a way to judge me. But that was who she was. I learnt that I couldn't change her. I wished that she wouldn't always try to change me.
"Let's face it, we don't get along. I'm never going to be what you expect. But at least you'll get a grandchild?"
She smiled and caressed my cheek with her thumb, "I want you to be happy."
"And you think Ricky's going to make me happy?" She shrugged, "Mom, do you think that I deserve to be with someone who cheats on me, someone who makes me feel like shit?"
"No," she muttered, "I'm sorry. But I didn't ask him to come over. He came looking for you, and I let him in. I see that was a mistake."
"Yes, and did you block his number?" She sighed, "Mom!"
"Okay, okay, I will," I nodded, "I'd never seen a man reach to his feet so fast like he did. I nearly had a heart attack when you broke the news to him."
We both laughed, "that ship has sailed. I doubt I'll ever hear from him again."
"And that's exactly what you want."
"Yes, exactly."
"MAYBE SHE'S just scared," Markian said, as we walked along the sidewalk. We decided to take a stroll, since I really needed to get out of my bed. I haven't had so much free time, since I was fifteen.
"I don't blame her. I'd run for the hills too," I placed my hands into the pockets of my coat. It was chilly. And my ears were freezing.
"Just give her time," he looked at me, "by the way, are you like bisexual now, or have you gone full out rainbow on me?"
"Quite frankly, I don't know. I know that I'm into women, and I might still be into men," I shrugged.
"You're into Delia. But are you actually interested in women? Cause I've seen some hot girls walk past us, and you didn't give them a glanceâI definitely did."
"I've got so much running through my head. I don't know, Markian. My sexuality is the least of my concerns right now."
"Got it. But when you do figure it out, give me a call," he cheekily grinned at me.
"Will do. Now where can I get the biggest piece of chocolate cake this city's got to offer?"
"Oh, I know just the place, but we'll need a cab," he stepped onto the edge of the sidewalk, and waved his hand out.
"You have to wait till there's a taxi in sight then flag them down," I giggled.
"Right," he laughed too.